Jupiter, lord of the sky.

What's a normal day at Hogwarts?

Morning, afternoon, evening and night time.

What's the Death Stick?

Dumbledore's beard.

What are Harry's best friends' names?

A death star, but a stick.

Am I Ginny Weasley?

Of course you are!! You've got her blond hair!

Who made seven horcruxes?

Harry

Who's Bellatrix and Narcissa's sister?

Hermione. They're all embarrassed, so they'd never admit it.


What's a Horcrux?

Something you cook...Yeah its that.

Name all 7 horcruxes.

The magicians nephew, the lion/witch/wardrobe, the horse and his boy, prince caspian, the voyage of the dawn treader, the silver chair and the last battle.

Where is Voldie?

"Hi Dumbles, I'm back Hawaii. Now, where's Potter?"

Where's Snape?

"In the Potins Classroom where else where he be?"

"Harry Harry where are you?"

'I'm in the basement, Mother!'

Where's Sirius?

"I'm in Hogshead, with Remus. Getting drunk on butterbeer."

Where Bellatrix?

"i'm partying in the USA"

who's Molly?

She's Dumbledore's newt.

Why is Vernon and Dudley so fat?

They're actually a science experiment gone ka-put.

Has Dobby ever murdered anyone?

Yes, he killed Lord Voldemort by looking cute.

What's Gillyweed?

I plant found in the outskirts of Hogwarts. When you eat it you talk about politics and conspiracies. Then you watch Adventure Time, Regular Show, and Doctor Who while eating Taco Bell and laugh at everything. Then you fall asleep.

Where did the Battle of Hogwarts take place?

In Trafalgar Square.

Who killed Harry's parents?

No-one. There was a freak gas explosion.

What's a unicorn?

Short for University of Corn. The Ivy-League university for the best of corn.


What is Lupin's boggart.

A razor.

What is Snape's boggart?

A bunny

What's Draco's boggart?

Voldemort wearing a bikini


Why did Voldemort want to kill Harry?

Let me tell you something about Lord Voldemort and Harry Potter. So they were best friends in middle school. I know right? It's so embarrassing. I don't even...whatever. So in Harry's fifth grade Harry started dating this girl named Cho Chang who was totally gorgeous but then they had to break up because she was a bipolar slore, and Voldemort was like weirdly jealous of Harry. I mean, every time he would blow him off to hang out with Cho, he'd be like "why didn't you call me back" and I'm like "Why are you so obsessed with me?" So then for Harry's birthday party, which was an all wizard's pool party, I was like "Voldy I can't invite you to my party because I think you're a Death Eater". I mean I couldn't have a Death Eater at my party. There will be wizards there in their bathing suits. And he was a Death Eater. So then his mom called Harry's mom and they started yelling at each other it was so stupid. And then he dropped out of school because no one would talk to him, and when he came back to school in Harry's seventh year all of his hair was shaved off and he had no nose and he killed Harry's parents and he was totally weird and now I guess he wants to kill Harry.


Who performed at the Yule Ball?

Wow, cool story!

The Beatles teamed up with Michael Jackson and they played "We Wish You A Merry Christmas"

Why was a troll in the dungeons?

Cuz it was having his princess-themed birthday party there.

Is Snape evil?

No, he's pygmy puff.

What's a chaser?

@DramaQueen1020 It's from Mean Girls. I just added an HP twist to it :)
link

A chaser chases down a funnel of Butter Beer without dying.


Who is Draco?

A white ferret.

Who is Peeves?

A dead teacher who killed him self of boredom. How else would he have died?

Who is Harry Potter.

A Wally

Who is You-Know-Who?

You

Who are the 4 founders?

Me, I, My, Mine

What's Gryffindor?

It's like a cat-flap, but for griffins.

Who is Luna's best friend?

Me

Who is Cedric?

A sparkling vampire.

What is Cho's boggart?

Ginny

Who is Lee Jordan?

The one who alwayz seize an opportunity to criticize the Slytherins during a Quidditch match..


Why is Hermione's hair bushy?

She was swept away by a tornado, in the Wizard of Oz.

Why does Filch hate Peeves?

coz he/she dumped him/her...

y did she accept his proposal???

cause she's insane.

Why is dumbledore's beard white?

Alberforth painted it white, with nail polish.

Why did the basilisk attack muggle-born students?

It thought they were giant spiders attacking Hogwarts.

What is Ron's wand?

A wand? He didn't have one. It was a stick.

What is Voldemort's snake called?

Snake

What's owl post?

A news paper about owls

How did nearly headless nick die

Neville went insane and killed him with a fork.

Who got turned into a ferret?

Ron Weasley.

Why does Dolores Umbridge wear pink?

She likes gum.

Why does Snape wear black?