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posted by Windwakerguy430
Platinum is a company that really does prefer quality over quantity. At least when they aren’t making Ninja Turtle games, but they always make the most amazing games out there. From the stylistic Madworld to the fast-paced Metal Gear Rising to their magnum opus, Bayonetta. They really try their best when making games. And let’s face it, they’re really the only good third party games produced by Sega. So, today, on the May Xbox Gold, I was able to get two games. Streets of Rage Vintage Collection and, of course, a glorious Platinum game, by the title of Vanquish, and of all the games that Platinum has made, Vanquish is one that I think is their most underrated. Maybe more so than Madworld. But let’s see if that is true.



~Story~

The Story of Vanquish is…….. Bad. It’s so bad. Russia attacks America and there is space marines and something about “No, this is the real villain” and Steven Blum is there and something about a professor and an ending that makes absolutely no sense and just kinda stops with no real ending in sight and jus- It’s a terribly written story. It’s really bad. So the story is that, in the future, a rebel group has overthrown the Russian government and has taken over the country. They want to gain power and, with the help of the United States president, they are able to use a sort of microwave cannon… thing to destroy all of San Francisco, killing thousands and wiping the city out. However, the president ends up throwing the group under the bus and as a result, the group decide to go to war, and threaten that they will do the same to New York City if the president does not step down. So, you play as Sam Gideon, a member of the team, DARPA, and is brought in to help the space marines, lead by Col. Robert Burns, who is voiced by the legendary man himself, Steve Blum, to fight off the Russian army of robots in space. And then something about a hostage and “No, it was me” and an ending that just screams sequel and- Oh, it sucks so bad. Platinum, just stick to really simple stories like you did with Bayonetta. Making a plot is not your strong suit unless Kojima is tagging along. Thankfully, the gameplay is what matters here, not the story.



~Gameplay~

For a shooter in a day and age where modern war shooters were starting to become a thing that soon no one would want, Vanquish manages to look impressive. Hey, if I’m going to look at ugly grey environments, I at least want it to look beautiful. If I’m gonna stare at a turd, I want it to be a sparkling piece of shit. But I digress, this game is nowhere near shit. This game is amazing, and not just visually. The game is less of a shooter and more of a 3D bullet-hell game. You know those kinds of games, right? Games like Ikaruga and Touhou, where a million bullets are flying at you and you have to dodge them while continuously firing at your enemy. That’s what Vanquish is. A fast paced game where you cannot just hide behind cover and expect to win. This isn’t Kane and Lynch 2. In Vanquish, it’s fly or die. And you will in fact die… Again… and again. And many many times. This is a pretty hard game. Even on normal difficulty, I still had some trouble trying to stay alive. But never was the fault of cheap enemy placement or bad design. Most of the time, I just got careless and rushed out to fight, only to get killed because I didn’t prepare myself. You have to know what the enemies can do and what you can do to dodge the attacks coming your way. And thankfully, you have an amazing sense of movement in this game.



If Vanquish was a basic shooter, like say just Gears of War, very simplistic in gameplay, I would still love it if the same sense of speed was there. Vanquish is a very fast-paced game. You will be moving nonstop in this game. And thanks to the suit that Sam wears, you can expect to stay moving… as long as you don’t run out of energy. The suit that Sam wears is covered in several rocket things or something that Platinum says to make things look cooler. No matter what position you are in, no matter what direction you are going in, you can always expect to be moving fast. And I mean really fast. Aside from doing just a basic roll to dodge bullets, Sam can move much faster with the rockets and act as a means to both dodge enemy fire, avoid huge attacks from larger enemies, and get behind them to get easier attacks in. You can also do something that is way cooler than anything else. If you dodge and immediately aim, or jump from cover and immediately aim, you will be thrown into a slow-down time thingy which allows you to unload onto enemies for a short period of time. You can stop whenever, but it helps to get the most out of it. Be careful though, because this energy for slowdown is also your boost energy, and your boost energy is also your shield that keeps you from dying. In Vanquish, you really gotta decide what you wanna use your energy on. Do you wanna get to the back of enemies, do you wanna use the slowdown to hit a bosses weak point, or do you just want to use the shield to get out there and get some hits in. It really makes you rely on planning out fights more. And trust me, it is not as complicated as it seems. It actually helps a ton.



Another thing that this game has going for it are the variety of weapons. From the short ranged but devastating shotgun, the brutal heavy machine gun, the low capacity but powerful sniper rifle, that really, really shitty missile gun that is just a huge waste of inventory space, and the rocket launcher which, who can say no to that, and of course, the classic assault rifle also helps. All of these weapons are really useful and help you a ton in the game (Except the missile gun). While you may choose some over others, there is always a time and a place where you may end up using all weapons. You may use the shotgun to attack enemies that are behind cover, or use the sniper rifle to hit enemies from afar and help your team, use the heavy machine gun to mow threw enemies, toss the missile gun off the railing because it sucks so bad, or use the rocket launcher to get some real good damage in on larger, more powerful enemies. Whatever it is, these weapons always have a use to them. But what the game has in gun variety and gameplay variety, it sadly lacks in boss variety. There are some cool bosses here, sure. There is one point where the entire level is just a boss and that is cool, but most of the time, the boss is the same giant robot that once you kill it turns into another giant robot. It’s cool the first time, but by the third time, it just gets old. And fighting two at once doesn’t help, no matter how many cool sequences there are. The final boss is cool, but I shouldn’t expect anything less from a Platinum final boss. In fact, if it wasn’t cool, I’d be talking about it way more. And it’s made better by a boost in Sam’s power. Don’t worry, you’ll find out what I mean real soon if you play the game, because Vanquish is a very short game. I mean four hours short. Maybe less. However, unlike Kane and Lynch 2, I had fun. I found variety in my weapons, the enemy AI was good, the visuals were great, the camera didn’t make me sick, and cover actually worked. Yeah, in a game where hiding behind cover isn’t the only solution to your problems. What I’m saying is Vanquish did better with a smaller budget and you should buy this instead.



~Legacy~

Despite falling behind in sales as of recently, Vanquish was able to do pretty well, if for just a few weeks before falling into obscurity. Despite the fact, the game was able to earn a few awards in 2011, even getting a few Game of the Year awards, so that’s something Vanquish and Platinum can gloat about. There is also a few figures of Sam Gideon and the main villain of the game, Bogey. They are really expensive and despite costing over $60, they fall apart easy. You’re basically paying a ton for bad material. That’s capitalism for you.

~Verdict~

Vanquish is what you’d expect from a Platinum game. It is a game that puts quality over quantity. While there is not a ton here that may keep you around, and while this game is lacking in bosses and a writing team, the gameplay will keep you invested. I can’t tell you how often I beat the game, telling myself, “That story was awful”, and was immediately followed by pressing New Game. If you want one of the most fast paced action experiences of recent years, then I recommend giving Vanquish a look. With that said, I give Vanquish the ranking of an Excavation Worthy. See you all next time.
Tonight, I watched the film Annabelle: Creation. This is coming from a person who has never watched a single Conjuring film in my life. I would like to, since I heard good things, but I have never watched them. Now, Annabelle is said to be a prequel to the first Annabelle movie. I have never watched the first one either, but, given it's poor critical reception, I don't think I'm missing too much. So, is Annabelle's prequel film better, or is it just as bad. Well, let's find out, shall we?



Annabelle: Creation follows a group of young orphaned girls. The two friends, Linda and Janice, the...
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I don’t know what it is, but I think I blame my dad for getting interested in the wild west. He would always show me all of these old western films, and tell me all about it. Though, I wasn’t interested at first. My interest in the old west started when I began listening about it in history class. The thought of an entire small desert town with no law fascinated me….. Okay, none of you believe that. I had my interest sparked after playing video games, of course, what else. And let me tell you, there are quite a lot of cowboys in video games. It may not seem like much, but trust me, there...
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Oh man, I am now realizing what a horrible mistake I’ve made with all this. But I already bought the games, so I have to do it now. Reminder that I spent literally $100 on bad games this year. This website does not pay me for writing articles and all of this is out of passion for criticism and writing. I am actually doing this to myself. I should probably call the suicide hotline cause I’m pretty sure this counts as a form of self harm. Well, regardless, it’s Christmas time, and what better way to celebrate the holiday season than by talking about something we all get: Crappy video games....
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#50: Baka and Test



Now, if you want an anime that has the most insane humor imaginable, I can’t think of anything like Baka and Test. The anime is about Yoshii, who is the school’s biggest idiot, who attends Class F, which is the worst possible class to be in, as he and his classmates try to earn the respect of the school by defeating all the more intelligent classes in a Summoner Test War. And, like I said, the humor is just insane. From Yoshii always getting beaten up by some insane cult that disapproves of women, to one of the Class F students getting tazed, to one of the major...
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Song (Start at 0:07): link

Sean: Ah, they didn't start yet.
Mike: Come on.
Jerry: There we go.
Shayne: Yeah!!
Jesse: *Arrives with Jeff, and Bryce* Why did you tell us on Instagram to come here?
Sean: Because of this.
Jeff: *Hears the music*
Bryce: Now we're talking!
Sean: While we enjoy this music, enjoy The Seven Ups.

Seanthehedgehog Presents

A ponified fanfiction based off a 70's movie

The Seven Up's

Near Grand Central Station in Manehattan

Buddy: *walking along street*
Ponies: *driving cars*
other ponies: *walking down street*
Buddy: *sees window washer* (He's above a building I have to go into)
Police:...
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added by Seanthehedgehog
posted by Windwakerguy430
Hello there. Due to what people are calling my "Popularity" I've decided to move my onto this fanpage. I will still keep my WYT artiles onto the LP fan page, but here, it will be a little different. On this fanpage, I am going to review everything, not just MLP related. It can be anything. Games, Movies, TV Shows, FanFics, and Videos. I will even use votes on which sort of subject I should review. I would also like for some advertisment ideas for my WYT articles. I hope this idea becomes more widespread and I really hope everyone enjoys this new idea. But thats only my opinion, What's Your Take
Song: link

Ethan: *Waiting in a siding*
Liam: *Sitting in a chair*
Metal Gloss: *Walking around the two* What are we doing again?
Liam: Deciding who to host tonight's segment of Sean's Spectacular Saturday of Stories.
Metal Gloss: None of us have done it before.
Ethan: Yeah. Let's take turns. Metal Gloss can go first, then for the next show in May, Liam can do it.
Liam: Sounds like a plan.
Metal Gloss: In that case, here's tonight's lineup.

8 PM

Ponies On The Rails
Adventures of Thomas & Friends

8:30 PM

The REAL Powerpuff Girls - Bak2Bak

Theme song: link

Seanthehedgehog presents

Ponies On The Rails

Starring...
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When it comes to video games, there are always first bosses, which come near the beginning of the game to be a starting challenge for the player to help them see how the game is going to play out. Usually, they are very easy and can be forgotten about within a few hours of gameplay. But, once in awhile, you get that first boss that is one of the best bosses in the entire game. These first bosses offer more of a challenge to the player and feel like a later boss than the first boss. So, today, I wish to share with you all the ten first bosses that I found to be the most fun. First, the rules....
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Song: link

James: *Singing along to the song* One, two, three o'clock, four o'clock, rock. Five, six, seven o'clock, eight o'clock, rock. Nine, ten, eleven o'clock, twelve o'clock, rock. We're gonna rock around the clock tonight.
Duck, Oliver, & Henry: AH!!!!!
Tom: Make it stop!
Hawkeye: *Leaving with a freight train* It's a good thing I got in the cab of this freight train in time. Now I don't have to hear his terrible singing, unlike the others.
Master Sword: Hawkeye got lucky!! *Catches on fire* RAAAAAAAAAAGE!!!!!!!
Gordon: James, stop singing!
James: When the clock strikes two, three and...
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Song: link

Parker: It's warmer!
Kevin: Not by much.
Parker: *Jumps into his swimming pool*
Snowflake: Can we start the show? I got the lineup ready.
Kevin: Yes Miss. Hostess. You may start.
Jerry: What's the lineup?
Snowflake: Down below.

8 PM

Ponies On The Rails: Bak2Bak

8:30 PM

Under The Arch With Tom Foolery

Theme song: link

Seanthehedgehog presents

Ponies On The Rails

Starring

Pierce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog

Coffee Crème From KarinaBrony

Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09

Metal Gloss From DragonAura15

Stylo From Jimmythedragon

NocturnalMirage from NochurnalMirage

Gordon, Percy, Jeff, Wilson,...
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(Note: This is based off of CinemaSins Everything Wrong With series. Also, this is just nitpicking. I do this out of love for Wind Waker)
You will first notice that this game was made in 2002, and considering that the Star Wars prequels were made around this time, you can tell it wasn’t a very good year
Well, it’s no wonder the town was attacked. The Triforce is just lying in a field right out in the open
Why does this village only have one horse
Man, when did Ganondorf get a bad case of crispy-burnt skin?
This game really loves shoving Ocarina of Time in my face, huh
So, the hero never came?...
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Song: www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=76&v=tIyOtMYne...ogo

Ethan: *Pulling 3 passenger cars* Well guys, we're glad you had fun, but summer is now over.
Passengers: *Shivering in their bathing suits* Is that why it's so cold?
Kevin: *Throwing a frisbee*
Liam: *Catches the frisbee*
Kevin: Good catch.
Liam: Thanks buddy. *Spots the audience* Oh, hi guys. Welcome to another episode of the S.S.S.S. I'm Liam from The Nut House, and I got everything set up for you to enjoy tonight.

8:00 PM - Now

Johnny Lightning
The Nut House

8:30 PM - Later

Trainz - Bak 2 Bak

Liam: *Throws the frisbee back to Kevin*...
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Okay, so, originally, again, I was gonna talk about a different movie, but instead, by chance, I happened to watch this movie instead and when I realized it too was a cult film, I decided to watch this… I’m bad at keeping with my already made list. But that’s beside the point. Let’s talk about true terror. The 90s. Bucket hats, Limp Bizkit, and a slew of horror movies upsetting the public because of the dangers to kids or something. And one such film was the 90s time capsule itself, 1999’s Idle Hands. Was this a film that was a victim of circumstance or did it deserve it’s low critical...
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How do I become sarcastic?
"I'm the queen of sarcasm, you don't just suddenly become sarcastic, it takes practice"


My house is on fire, what do I do?
"You get off the fuckin computer and go outside!"


My brother hasn't had his period:
"Yeah. It takes longer for boys"


What's an appropriate site for a 13 year old girl?
"Try Porn-Hub"


Can you get pregnant from watching porn?
"Only on wednesdays"


Every time I drink alcohol I feel sad.
"Your not drinking ENOUGH of of it!"


I was having sex with my sister and got a cramp in my leg.
"YOU HAD SEX WITH YOUR SISTER!?"


Why are babies ugly at first?
"How about you...
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So the Game Awards 2019 was an absolute waste of time to anyone who went there. What a great time to be alive. Can you believe they put a Fast & Furious game as the big announcement of that night above Wolf Among Us 2 or No More Heroes 3? So after being disappointed by Fast & Furious, I can disappoint myself again with a new Fast & Furious title, Fast & Furious: Showdown. I’ve never watched any of the movies, I have no idea what they are about, all I know is they were part of Game Awards 2019, so that’s justifiable reasons to hate it. Created by the lovely team at Activision,...
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Song: link

Derek: Spring's almost here!
Orion: Finally, now we don't have to freeze.
Stephanie: Now we just need to decide what our show's lineup is for tonight.
Fat Pat: I got it! Three episodes of The Nut House. Pronto!

Theme Song

Kevin: *Plays piano*
David: *Playing bass*
Liam: *Playing drums*
Liz: *Plays guitar*
Mr. Nut: *Sings* Welcome everybody to The Nut House. Thankfully this is not in Laos. Come on everybody into The Nut House. You can wear anything except for a blouse. Come on everybody, step into The Nut House.
Everyone: The Nut House!

Episode 20: Another Star

While having lunch in The Nut House...
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posted by Windwakerguy430
Man: Come on, girl. Don’t be like that
*A skinny man with ratty hair were standing in front of a woman at a bar. She had been doing her best to ignore them, but they had decided to sit at the table, doing what they could to get her attention*
Woman: I told you to go away
Man: Aw, come on. Why don’t we go and have some fun. Who knows, you may just like what I got for you, babe
*The woman struck the man across the face with a slap. The man only chuckled as he punched the woman across the face, sending her to the floor*
Man: I tried to be a nice guy, but you just had to be a stupid bitch!
*As he...
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Song: link

Marching Parade: *Going through a railroad crossing*
Trumpet Player: The lights are flashing!
Saxaphone Player: Who cares? We need to keep moving!
Sean: *Stops at the crossing* Well, while I'm waiting for a clear path, let's see those two episodes of Anata No Tenkei-Tekina Anime.

Girls: *Playing Rock & Roll music* Anata No Tenkei-Tekina Anime!! Anata No Tenkei-Tekina Anime!! Which is Japanese for, which is Japanese for... *Drum solo* Your Typical Anime. *Guitar solo* Your Typical Anime. *Guitar solo* Your Typical Anime!

Episode 9: Masturbation Escapation

Cassandra was with her friends...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog

Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see. Pingas!
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see. Pingas!


Seanthehedgehog Presents

Hedgehog In Ponyville Episode 9

Discorded

Being a war hero in a town where everyone likes you is a good thing. Everywhere I go, I see a friend. Everytime I need help with something, I ask them. I've also been promoted from captain to major.

We took back Ponyville from Nazi Forces, and Celestia was breifing me on my new assignment in Twilight's former library.

Celestia: Discord now has an army of his own. He has time traveled into the second world war in a planet called Earth, and gathered an army of italian humans....
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