After a pretty well received list of things Bella would never say, i decided to let you guys read another list : things Edward would never say!
Again, credit goes to Bellaandedward.com for creating the list.
It is quite a long list so if you want to see the rest of it go here: link
Edward Would Never Say :

1.Gosh, Bella, stop blushing so much. (Sent in by: Phoebe)
2.Bella, drive slower. (Sent in by: Emily)
3.I wish I'd just married Rosalie. (Sent in by: Gin)
4.Jacob Black, you can have Bella because you are my best friend. (Sent in by: Emily)
5.Bella, you have just been PUNK'D!!!! (Sent in by: Ali)
6.Bella, I'm gay. (Sent in by: Celeste)
7.Just keep your fangs to yourself, buddy! (Sent in by: Celeste)
8.Alice, take Bella on a shopping spree. (Sent in by: Alex :D)
9.Bella, I'd like my ring back, you're just not worth the trouble keeping alive. (Sent in by: Alex)
10.Come on, Alice, lets go join the Volturi! (Sent in by: Alex :D)
11.I'm going to go live with the werewolves, because I like the way they smell. (Sent in by: Stephanie Marshall)
12.Sure, of course I'll join the Volturi, Aro!!!!!! (Sent in by: Sara)
13.Hey Bella, you can go ahead and jump off that cliff and die to your doom without me. (Sent in by: Macy)
14.You know Bella? I think I ought to buy you a new motorcycle because this one is just falling apart... (Sent in by: Gabby)
15.Yo mah homie G! Fo shizzle! (Sent in by: Bo)
16.Bella, I have something to tell you. I'm not a vampire and neither is the rest of my family. YOU'VE BEEN PUNK'D! Awesome, huh? (Sent in by: Mia)
17.That pizza looks delicious... (Sent in by: Ash)
18.You know what, I don't want to be a vampire, it would be too boring. (Sent in by: Chesca)
19.Jacob is my best friend! (Sent in by: Emily)
20.Yes, I'll admit it. I'm perfect. (Sent in by: Megan)
21.Geez Bella, you're so white! (Sent in by: Megan)
22.I wish James and Victoria could come back, so we can have a heart to heart. (Sent in by: Kat)
23.Bella, you make me lose my breath. (Sent in by: SarahF.)
24.Bella, you are so coordinated!!! (Sent in by: Mely)
25.Bella why don't you want to be a vampire just like me? (Sent in by: Alexis)
26.Yo. Bella. Wassup. (Sent in by: Phoebe)
27.Dude. THAT IS SO FRIKIN AWESOME. (Sent in by: Phoebe)
28.Ew, Bella, you need to get some deoderant. (Sent in by: Laura)
29.Bella, you're so ugly. I never want to see you again. (Sent in by: Whitney)
30.(after gym) God Bella! Werewolves smell better than you do! (Sent in by: Courtney)
31.I'm sorry, Bella but I'm leaving you for Jessica Stanley. Have a nice life with Jacob. (Sent in by: Sara)
32.Eww, Emmett. How could you possibly think grizzly bears are tasty? Everyone knows lambs are better. (Sent in by: Viola)
33.Bella, I'm going to kill you now. (Sent in by: Brianna)
34.I'm Mike Newton's biggest fan! (Sent in by: Ella)
35.Remember when I told you I didn't want you, Bella? Well, Bella, I've never told a lie. (Sent in by: Laura)
36.James is my new best friend! (Sent in by: Jackie)
37."Bella?" What a stupid name. (Sent in by: Emily)
38.I just can't stand those vampires! They're all so cold and heartless! (Sent in by: Emily)
39.Hey, Bella, wanna go cliff diving? (Sent in by: Melissa)
40.Bella. I'm leaving you... for Jacob. (Sent in by: Emily)
41.You can just go to Hell (Sent in by: Jayda)
42.Let's go donate blood! (Sent in by: Jennifer and Mackenzie)
43.Jane is a super hott babe! I love her! (Sent in by: Pussycat and Bubbles)
44.I am getting kinda pale... I need to get a tan! (Sent in by: Mackenzie)
45.Oh my god Bella, could you LOOK more slutty in that outfit? (Sent in by: Courtney)
46.You know, I think that Jessica and I are ment to be together. See ya! (Sent in by: Mackenzie)
47.God Bella you're so freakin' clumsy! (Sent in by: Diana)
48.Bella... I only pretended to love you to get to Jessica. Sorry. (Sent in by: Samm44)
49.My being a vampire isn't a big deal, You know. (Sent in by: Jennifer)
50.I prefer blonds. (Sent in by: Samantha)
51.Bella, I've decided to marry Leah Clearwater instead of you. Have a good life with Mike Newton! (Sent in by: Kayla)
52.I'm tired. I think I'm gonna go to sleep. (Sent in by: Jayda)
53.Wow, I could really go for a cheeseburger right about now! (Sent in by: Alexis)
54.Bella, Esme is not my mom, she's my wife. Emmet is the one who really wants you, have a nice life!!! (Sent in by: Lauren)
55.Um Bella, I'm gay. I'm going out with Jacob now. (Sent in by: Samara)
56.I'm going to get you a new motorcycle. (Sent in by: Mega Horse Lover)
57.This pizza is really good!! (Sent in by: Charlotte)
58.Aw Snap! (Sent in by: Michelle)
59.Bella, did I ever tell you that I've been able to read your mind all along? (Sent in by: Amy)
60.YO PUNK, BACK OFF! BACK OFF! (Sent in by: Macy)
61.You're so lucky I'm your boyfriend, Bella! (Sent in by: Alyssa)
62.Bella, I think I'm dying. (Sent in by: Shelby)
63.You know what. You're scent really isn't all that great. Niether is your blood. I'm totally over the irresistible urge to kill you, aren't you lucky Bella? (Sent in by: Amy)
64.Bella, I'm sorry... I'm a gangster! (Sent in by: Sara)
65.Bite me Bella. (Sent in by: Maddy)
66.Bella, don't be so careful. (Sent in by: Meghann)
67.MWAHAHAHAHAHA! Ok, so how was that for my evil Dracula laugh? (Sent in by: Jess)
68.I wonder how I wound up with you? I mean look at me... no wonder you fell in love with me (Sent in by: Amy)
69.Hey Bella, I'm hungry... and you smell oh so good! (Sent in by: Jayme)
70.Alice, would you be upset if I told you that I MAY have tried on your undies this morning? (Sent in by: Libz)
71.I'm actually in love with Victoria, Bella. You can have your pick of Jacob or Mike. (Sent in by: Blair)
72.Hey Edward, have you read these books by Stephenie Meyer yet? I found one in the library called Twilight... it's really good. (Sent in by: Namaste)
73.Irina looks awesome! (Sent in by: Lilyn)
74.Bella, can you go stay at La Push for a while? You're kind of suffocating me. (Sent in by: Sapphrine)
75.I'm having a fangtastic time! Get it? Fang-tastic... haha it's so hilarious, how can you possibly not laugh? Haha *cough* so... umm yeah (Sent in by: Joan)
76.Ya know, werewolves don't actually smell all that bad. I kinda like it. Jacob, come here and gimmie a hug! (Sent in by: Viola)
77.I worship 50 Cent (Sent in by: Olivia)
78.I'm sleepy... (Sent in by: Lexie)
79.Of course I'll bite you Bella, why didn't you just ask me earlier. *Duh* (Sent in by: Luna-regn)
80.I rather kiss Jacob Black instead of Bella. (Sent in by: Luna Greene)
81.Guess what Bella? I'm actually Mike Newton, who accidentally switched roles with me when we both met Jacob Black and had dinner with Tyler Crowley, but that was after we both went to party on the Hills with Eric Yorkie, my homeboy. But before this all, Edward really was not a vampire, but a really smart nerd who could make suits that looked real and his family's rich so he put diamonds in his fake suits so that they'd glitter and also Alice and Emmett are robots controlled by old Edward which is now mike newton who is really me but got switched... got it? (Sent in by: lilypop!)
82.Bella! That is definitely not your color! (Sent in by: Ana)
83.Bella, choose. Now. Do you want me to bite you now, or never? No more chances in the future...ever. (Sent in by: Anne)
84.Who would like a vampire? They are so cold! (Sent in by: Cat)
85.Who needs a wedding anyway, are ya ready for the bite! (Sent in by: K-Daug)
86.(After kissing) Geez Bella, you could at least wash your mouth once in a while... now I know what to get you for your birthday... Mouthwash! (Sent in by: Gaby)
87.Bella you should go and hang with Jacob. (Sent in by: Fred)
88.You're too selfish Bella (Sent in by: alessandra)
89.Bella, I have 3 things to tell you: 1. I don't love you. 2. My family actually eats humans. 3. I am TOTALLY sexy! (Sent in by: Kaylie)
90.Does this make me look fat? (Sent in by: Jayda)
91.Damn you, Bella (Sent in by: Jayda)
92.I'm not really a vampire. I can't believe you bought that. (Sent in by: Jayda)
93.It's freakin cold in here. (Sent in by: Jayda)
94.Hey Bella, I'm gay. And guess what, I'm dating your dad (Sent in by: Marina)
95.Alice and I are really in love and when I told you I left you to keep you out of trouble I lied...we actually went to get married!
96.Bella, can't I just have a taste? A tiny sip, okay? (Sent in by: Elizabeth)
97.Oh...Em...Gee Bella. Guess what?! (Sent in by: Emily)
98.Yes Bella, you do look fat! (Sent in by: Samantha)
99.Why are you such a clutz, Bella? (Sent in by: Mariel)
100.YAWNNNNNNNNNNN... Bells, I'm a little tired, so why don't you go hang out with Jake while I take a nap? (Sent in by: CoolsocksSam)