I am falling.
Down a dark hole.
An unseen hole.
A dark cold hole.
I feel the cold air around me.
I feel the cold hands reaching for me.
The cold eyes learing at me.
The smell of death in the air.
Not knowing where to turn.
Not knowing who to trust.
I am falling.
I feel the death aproaching me
I can smell it.
I can feel it.
I can almost taste it.
I know its near me.
Yet I am not afraid.
I do not care.
I welcome it with open arms.
I long for it.
I need it.
I want it very badly.
I deserve it.
I know this.
Yet I cry and scream.
I need to be and to feel loved.
All this hatred around me.
I cant take it anymore.
I am done.
I know I will not be messed.
I do not care.
I know that they will live one and forget me.
I do not care.
They will be better without me.
I care so much.
I love them all.
I need them all.
But in the end I will lose them.
I know this.
But I know they will be better off forgetting me.
I am sorry.
I never should have told anyone.
I needed someone to lean on.
I needed a kind word.
But all I did was hurt the people i love and care about.
The end is near I know this.
I just want to be heard
To be understood.
To be loved and wanted.
I love with monsters.
I am beaten.
I am broken.
I cry.
Kick.
Screams.
And yearn for my freedom.
I know I will never get that.
But I am grateful for every kind and loving word I receive.
The darkness is getting colder.
I can hear them calling me.
I can feel them getting closer.
I am getting scared.
I am crying.
I am screaming.
I am falling in to this darkness.
I reach out.
But no one is there to take me hand.
I am falling.
In to darkness.
I can feel the end as it aproaches.
The coldness.
I welcome it.
With open arms.
Down a dark hole.
An unseen hole.
A dark cold hole.
I feel the cold air around me.
I feel the cold hands reaching for me.
The cold eyes learing at me.
The smell of death in the air.
Not knowing where to turn.
Not knowing who to trust.
I am falling.
I feel the death aproaching me
I can smell it.
I can feel it.
I can almost taste it.
I know its near me.
Yet I am not afraid.
I do not care.
I welcome it with open arms.
I long for it.
I need it.
I want it very badly.
I deserve it.
I know this.
Yet I cry and scream.
I need to be and to feel loved.
All this hatred around me.
I cant take it anymore.
I am done.
I know I will not be messed.
I do not care.
I know that they will live one and forget me.
I do not care.
They will be better without me.
I care so much.
I love them all.
I need them all.
But in the end I will lose them.
I know this.
But I know they will be better off forgetting me.
I am sorry.
I never should have told anyone.
I needed someone to lean on.
I needed a kind word.
But all I did was hurt the people i love and care about.
The end is near I know this.
I just want to be heard
To be understood.
To be loved and wanted.
I love with monsters.
I am beaten.
I am broken.
I cry.
Kick.
Screams.
And yearn for my freedom.
I know I will never get that.
But I am grateful for every kind and loving word I receive.
The darkness is getting colder.
I can hear them calling me.
I can feel them getting closer.
I am getting scared.
I am crying.
I am screaming.
I am falling in to this darkness.
I reach out.
But no one is there to take me hand.
I am falling.
In to darkness.
I can feel the end as it aproaches.
The coldness.
I welcome it.
With open arms.
the violin-throbs
of autumn wound
my heart with languorous
and montonous
sound.
Choking and pale
When I mind the tale
the hours keep,
my memory strays
down other days
and I weep;
and I let me go
where ill winds blow
now here, now there,
harried and sped,
even as a dead
leaf, anywhere.
*************************************************
CHANSON D'AUTOMNE
Les sanglots longs
Des violons
De l'automne
Blessent mon cœur
D'une langueur
Monotone.
Tout suffocant
Et blême, quand
Sonne l'heure.
Je me souviens
Des jours anciens,
Et je pleure.
Et je m'en vais
Au vent mauvais
Qui m'emporte
De çà, de là,
Pareil à la
Feuille morte.