I am falling.
Down a dark hole.
An unseen hole.
A dark cold hole.
I feel the cold air around me.
I feel the cold hands reaching for me.
The cold eyes learing at me.
The smell of death in the air.
Not knowing where to turn.
Not knowing who to trust.
I am falling.
I feel the death aproaching me
I can smell it.
I can feel it.
I can almost taste it.
I know its near me.
Yet I am not afraid.
I do not care.
I welcome it with open arms.
I long for it.
I need it.
I want it very badly.
I deserve it.
I know this.
Yet I cry and scream.
I need to be and to feel loved.
All this hatred around me.
I cant take it anymore.
I am done.
I know I will not be messed.
I do not care.
I know that they will live one and forget me.
I do not care.
They will be better without me.
I care so much.
I love them all.
I need them all.
But in the end I will lose them.
I know this.
But I know they will be better off forgetting me.
I am sorry.
I never should have told anyone.
I needed someone to lean on.
I needed a kind word.
But all I did was hurt the people i love and care about.
The end is near I know this.
I just want to be heard
To be understood.
To be loved and wanted.
I love with monsters.
I am beaten.
I am broken.
I cry.
Kick.
Screams.
And yearn for my freedom.
I know I will never get that.
But I am grateful for every kind and loving word I receive.
The darkness is getting colder.
I can hear them calling me.
I can feel them getting closer.
I am getting scared.
I am crying.
I am screaming.
I am falling in to this darkness.
I reach out.
But no one is there to take me hand.
I am falling.
In to darkness.
I can feel the end as it aproaches.
The coldness.
I welcome it.
With open arms.
Down a dark hole.
An unseen hole.
A dark cold hole.
I feel the cold air around me.
I feel the cold hands reaching for me.
The cold eyes learing at me.
The smell of death in the air.
Not knowing where to turn.
Not knowing who to trust.
I am falling.
I feel the death aproaching me
I can smell it.
I can feel it.
I can almost taste it.
I know its near me.
Yet I am not afraid.
I do not care.
I welcome it with open arms.
I long for it.
I need it.
I want it very badly.
I deserve it.
I know this.
Yet I cry and scream.
I need to be and to feel loved.
All this hatred around me.
I cant take it anymore.
I am done.
I know I will not be messed.
I do not care.
I know that they will live one and forget me.
I do not care.
They will be better without me.
I care so much.
I love them all.
I need them all.
But in the end I will lose them.
I know this.
But I know they will be better off forgetting me.
I am sorry.
I never should have told anyone.
I needed someone to lean on.
I needed a kind word.
But all I did was hurt the people i love and care about.
The end is near I know this.
I just want to be heard
To be understood.
To be loved and wanted.
I love with monsters.
I am beaten.
I am broken.
I cry.
Kick.
Screams.
And yearn for my freedom.
I know I will never get that.
But I am grateful for every kind and loving word I receive.
The darkness is getting colder.
I can hear them calling me.
I can feel them getting closer.
I am getting scared.
I am crying.
I am screaming.
I am falling in to this darkness.
I reach out.
But no one is there to take me hand.
I am falling.
In to darkness.
I can feel the end as it aproaches.
The coldness.
I welcome it.
With open arms.
Here is another poem. It is a bit dark but the truth is always darker than it seems.
Isolated,
I am isolated,
I isolate myself from the people who might care about me...
Watching,
They watch me but are blind,
Blind to the emotions that are always rinning through my mind while they just stare...
Broken,
My heart is broken,
The cracks run deep and I know will never be filled...
Unseen,
I feel unseen,
Unseen by the ones who walk the halls and just look right through me...
Tears,
They never want to stop,
The tears stream down my face until the burn my cheeks...
Darkness,
I am lost in a sea of black,
The waves crash around me and threaten to swallow me forever
Isolated,
I am isolated,
I isolate myself from the people who might care about me...
Watching,
They watch me but are blind,
Blind to the emotions that are always rinning through my mind while they just stare...
Broken,
My heart is broken,
The cracks run deep and I know will never be filled...
Unseen,
I feel unseen,
Unseen by the ones who walk the halls and just look right through me...
Tears,
They never want to stop,
The tears stream down my face until the burn my cheeks...
Darkness,
I am lost in a sea of black,
The waves crash around me and threaten to swallow me forever
Dedicated to a friend of mine, may he and his family and everyone who knew him know that he now is with God
____________________________________________________
Only knew you for a few years
Cause of Dad's new job
You always were my favorite
One of them to talk to
You always smiled
And never thought a bad thing
Even when your son was messing up
You just laughed and helped him
And always forgave
No one knew you would leave us
On that cold winter day
Now i cant rember your name without crying
We never were close
Yet we had so much in common
No one needed to know us
You and I were fine
I knew it wasnt a cold
It was always something more
You ignored it all
And went on with your life
I wanted to say something
And i never said goodbye
I wish i could of said goodbye
For you are here
No more
__________________________________________________
In memory of a friend who didnt deserve to die, we all miss you and you will never be forgotten
____________________________________________________
Only knew you for a few years
Cause of Dad's new job
You always were my favorite
One of them to talk to
You always smiled
And never thought a bad thing
Even when your son was messing up
You just laughed and helped him
And always forgave
No one knew you would leave us
On that cold winter day
Now i cant rember your name without crying
We never were close
Yet we had so much in common
No one needed to know us
You and I were fine
I knew it wasnt a cold
It was always something more
You ignored it all
And went on with your life
I wanted to say something
And i never said goodbye
I wish i could of said goodbye
For you are here
No more
__________________________________________________
In memory of a friend who didnt deserve to die, we all miss you and you will never be forgotten
to see, feel, hear, touch and taste
your eyes, your lips, your hands
you are everywhere
a touch, soft and tender
a whisper, full of desire
a gasp of sweet surrender
as passion fuels the fire
and though we still have far to go
that's alright, we'll take it slow
and though the days are often long
with you here I can be strong
there's no time in life to judge
only time enough for love
so as another night slips by
let’s dance beneath the sky
in our secret garden
love took power over our will
progressively, gently, tenderly, lover to lover
love, you’re all I ever needed
and I want you now. now being forever.
this is my eternal vow.
through the thorns to the stars
The only one who doesn't know happiness
is the one who couldn't understand its call
I am Calling Calling now, Spirits rise and falling
To stay myself longer...
Calling Calling, in the depth of longing
To stay myself longer...
Stand alone... Where was life when it had a meaning...
Stand alone... Nothing's real anymore and...
...Endless run...
While I'm alive, I can try not to fall while flying,
Not to forget how to dream... how to love
...Endless run...
Calling Calling, For the place of knowing
There's more that what can be linked
Calling Calling, Never will I look away
For what life has left for me
Yearning Yearning, for what's left of loving
To stay myself longer...
Calling Calling now, Spirits rise and falling
To stay myself longer...
Calling Calling, in the depth of longing
To stay myself longer.......
How I Really Feel About You
I hate putting up with this act.
I can't stand it anymore.
I have to tell you how I really feel.
I don't know if you will like it
but here it goes:
I HATE you, I don't EVER want to see you again.
I hate that you think I will do anything for you
because you still think I like you.
I like someone new and I know that they
will treat me better than you ever did.
That is how I really feel about you, and I
knew that you wouldn't like it, but you know what
I DON'T CARE!
I hate putting up with this act.
I can't stand it anymore.
I have to tell you how I really feel.
I don't know if you will like it
but here it goes:
I HATE you, I don't EVER want to see you again.
I hate that you think I will do anything for you
because you still think I like you.
I like someone new and I know that they
will treat me better than you ever did.
That is how I really feel about you, and I
knew that you wouldn't like it, but you know what
I DON'T CARE!
Now now. Don't be offended. Don't take this seriouslly. If you don't like this poem just move on. :) Enjoy.
__________________________________________________
Stupid girls
I don’t understand you.
Why do you constantly check the mirror?
Why do you constantly flaunt your body?
Why do you constantly throw your future away?
I don’t understand you.
Stuffing your bra, smacking your lips, bending down
Is that appealing?
Stuffing, smacking, bending.
What a life.
You live for attention. You live to view. You live to be viewed.
Now I know why the guys go for you.
You’re easy.
You’re trashy.
You can be thrown away.
Sorry, if I don’t understand, but really…
I don’t understand…
__________________________________________________
Stupid girls
I don’t understand you.
Why do you constantly check the mirror?
Why do you constantly flaunt your body?
Why do you constantly throw your future away?
I don’t understand you.
Stuffing your bra, smacking your lips, bending down
Is that appealing?
Stuffing, smacking, bending.
What a life.
You live for attention. You live to view. You live to be viewed.
Now I know why the guys go for you.
You’re easy.
You’re trashy.
You can be thrown away.
Sorry, if I don’t understand, but really…
I don’t understand…
D'une saison nouvelle ouverte au grand bonheur
Dans le creux d'un rocher, toute frêle mais forte
Sous la tiédeur du vent naquit une fleur
Dans l'air pur du matin balayé par la brise
Sa tige gracieuse et ses pétales d'or
S'élevèrent gaiement comme une belle frise
Nous offrant avec éclat les charmes d'un trésor
Et puis elle grandit, de jour en jour plus belle
Exhalant sa beauté que seules dans le grand vent
Mouettes et alouettes, passant à tire d'aile
Cueillaient du coin de l'oeil comme un beau diamant
Un jour, je verrai la fleur, symbole de tendresse
La corolle penchée au souffle du printemps
Je voudrai la cueillir et goûter encore sa caresse
Mais le vent l'emportera sur les ailes du temps
jj9/1983
