Running from Chicacolt to San Franciscolt is a railroad called the Union Pacific. It's the largest railroad in the United States, and is run by thousands of ponies. This is the story of some of those ponies that run the rails, aka railroading.
Episode 5: War pony
May 15, 1951
The korean war has been going on for months. Everypony on the Union Pacific was doing their best to deliver supplies to Las Pegasus for use in the U.S military.
Gordon: *doing yard work*
Pete: Gordon, I have something for you to do.
Gordon: Great! I'm doing a lot of that here.
Pete: I want you to go to Las Pegasus.
Gordon: Cool. What am I going to do?
Pete: You no longer have to work in the yards, but get to drive a train.
Gordon: Swee-- I don't have to work with Hawkeye, right?
Pete: Nope. You gotta work with.....
Gordon: (Please say Honey, please say Honey.)
Pete: Coffee Creme.
Gordon: (Shit) *smiles* Great. I'll get to work right away.
After his fake smile toward Pete, Gordon went to the servicing facility to get his engine for the train. He would be driving a 4-6-6-4 Challenger. A smaller version of the bigboy.
Jeff: Good morning Gordon.
Gordon: Where's Percy?
Jeff: He's fixing track. But don't you know not to switch jobs without permission from the boss?
Gordon: Aha, aha, that was nearly a year ago.
Jeff: You did get permission, right?
Gordon: Yeah! And I don't need your fat ass telling me what to do!
Jeff: You say that, but it doesn't mean it's true. You're the fattest worker here in the U.P.
Gordon: Wow, way to offend me loser. *drives engine*
Gordon then drove his engine onto another track, where he would couple his engine to the train. 75 cars were in the train, and it was all going to L.P.
Gordon: *stops engine*
Coffee Creme: A little closer.
Gordon: ugh *backs up*
Coffee Creme: Perfect. *goes to air brakes*
Gordon: Let's go! Hurry up.
Coffee Creme: *connecting air brakes*
Gordon: *blows whistle*
Meanwhile, up in the signalbox
Snowflake: Hmm, that train must be ready. *turns signal green*
Gordon: *accelerates*
Coffee Creme: WAit!! *finishes connecting air brakes*
Unfortunately Coffee Creme was standing on the couplers while the train was in motion.
Gordon: Let's make this bitch go faster *accelerates to 35*
Coffee Creme: *climbing to top of tender*
Gordon: *sees Coffee Creme* What the fuck is she doing?
Coffee Creme: *runs toward cab*
Gordon: A red signal?! Ahhh, forget it. *drives faster*
Coffee Creme: Oh shit *nearly hits her head on signal, then gets in cab*
Gordon: Where the hell have you been?
Coffee Creme: At the back of the locomotive you careless nincompoop.
Gordon: Fuck you.
Coffee Creme: *grabs shovel* Where's the coal?
Gordon: This engine uses oil, we don't have coal.
Coffee Creme: So, how does the oil get into the firebox?
Gordon: Automatically. All you have to do, is check our fuel, look out the other side of the window, and tell me something important. If it's not important, I'll ignore you.
Coffee Creme: Yeah, I'll let you know, and call the news reporters.
Gordon: So funny I forgot to laugh.
Coffee Creme: There's a train in our way.
Gordon: *slows down* I think we might crash.
Coffee Creme: You shouldn't have passed that red signal.
Gordon: That's not important *going 15*
Coffee Creme: We're going to hit it!
Gordon: *cover eyes*
Coffee Creme: *prepares to jump*
But before Coffee Creme jumped, Gordon's train stopped. It was literally half of a centimeter close to the other train.
Coffee Creme: What happened?
Gordon: I don't know, but it's completely unacceptable. Stay here, I'll be back.
Coffee Creme: I wanna go with you.
Gordon: Stay here!! I'll be back!
Coffee Creme: *sits in chair*
Gordon; *walks to other engine* It's so hot. *turns around*
Coffee Creme: *waiting*
Gordon: *comes back* Fuck it, you go find out what's happening.
Coffee Creme: Me?
Gordon: No, Harry Trumare. Yes you, go!
Coffee Creme: *climbs out of cab*
Gordon: *grabs shovel* Take this with you *throws it at Coffee Creme*
Coffee Creme: *grabs shovel*
Shortly after that, the train in front of Gordon started to move. Once it did, Percy drove up to them in a truck.
Coffee Creme: Hi Percy.
Percy: What's up Coffee? I just wanted you to know there was a derailment because of the track's condition. You'll have to wait for me to fix it, and then you can go.
Gordon: What did he say?
Coffee Creme: We have to wait for the tracks to be fixed.
Gordon: Nope. There has to be another way to get to Las Pegasus.
Percy: There isn't unless you want to travel backwards for twenty miles.
Gordon: It'll be quicker than waiting for you to fix the tracks. Get in Coffee Creme.
Coffee Creme: *gets in cab*
Gordon: *driving backwards*
Coffee Creme: How are we going to see which way we're going?
Gordon: When a train crashes into us, then we'll know.
Coffee Creme: Great.
Gordon: Oh, shut up. You got a better idea?
Coffee Creme: Oui. We put the engine on the other side, and we know which way we're going.
Gordon: Nope. That takes too long.
Eventually they were going 70 miles an hour. They would reach the alternate route in no more than 15 minutes.
Coffee Creme: I'm surprised we haven't crashed yet.
Gordon: We're not going to.
Coffee Creme: I think we should just go forward. The tracks are probably fixed now.
Gordon: No, they're not. As a matter of fact, we had to wait for them to fix the track.
Coffee Creme: Still, could be worse.
Suddenly, the sound of a crashing train could be heard. Orion crashed into the back of Gordon's train.
(Everybody, say it with me)
Luckily, no one was hurt.
Except for the millions of passengers that probably just died on Orion's passenger train. Luckily, no one important was hurt.
Gordon ran surprisingly fast to the end of the train, and was getting prepared to use a spell that would get the derailed cars back onto the tracks.
Gordon: *panting* I have to make it. *nearly trips* I'm so close to the end. *lays on ground*
Gordon stopped, after only moving an inch, running alongside a train that was one mile long.
Coffee Creme: *teleports to end of train*
Gordon: No, no, no! Don't tell Orion anything!! *runs again* Damnit, I'm getting tired. *falls on ground*
Orion: He can't run for shit.
Coffee Creme: Really? Whatever, let's just get our trains back on the tracks, and repair the engines.
Orion: How are we going to do that?
Coffee Creme: *shows horn*
Orion: Oh yeah. Well, I'm a pegasus, so I can't do anything.
Coffee Creme: You don't have to. Just keep your mouth shut about this.
Gordon: *shows up* Don't tell him anything!!
Coffee Creme: Did you hear what I said? I told him to keep his mouth shut.
Gordon: Oh, yeah. I remeber now.
Orion: It's pronounced, re mem ber.
Gordon: Whatever *repairs engine*
Coffee Creme: *repairs freight cars*
Gordon: Ok. Now to check your rolling stock.
Coffee Creme: His passenger cars seem fine.
Gordon: It's called rolling stock.
Orion: Not always. Well, you two did a great job. Better hurry, before we get late.
Gordon: Yeah, you're right. *teleports to engine*
Coffee Creme: *teleports to engine* So, have you learned from your mistakes?
Gordon: What's a mistake?
Coffee Creme: (Why do I even try being nice to him?)
Gordon: *drives train* It was Orion who hit us. He saw us after all, why didn't he stop?
Coffee Creme: Whatever you say.
150 minutes later, Gordon got the war equipment to Las Pegasus.
Sargent: About time. What the fuck took you guys so long?
Gordon: A bunch of idiots got in our way, and derailed our train.
Sargent: None of this stuff better be damaged.
Gordon: It's not, but if it was, I'd fix it.
Sargent: *sees damaged jeeps* Would you now?
And so, Gordon spent two hours helping the military repair jeeps. Then he went back to Cheyenne.
Pete: Well, I heard of an epic screw up you caused with Orion's passenger train today.
Gordon: (Fuck!)
Pete: But I heard you did a very good job fixing the damage caused by the train wreck.
Gordon: (Say what?) Thanks.
Pete: As a reward, I'm giving you the entire week off.
Gordon: Thank you sir.
Pete: Starting now.
Gordon: Yahoo! *runs away* I'm going to a beach alongside Neigh Jersey. See you ponies in one week!!
The end
On the next episode of Ponies On The Rails
Percy, and Jeff get some of the spotlight. In other words, they're getting their own episode
Copyright, 2013
Episode 5: War pony
May 15, 1951
The korean war has been going on for months. Everypony on the Union Pacific was doing their best to deliver supplies to Las Pegasus for use in the U.S military.
Gordon: *doing yard work*
Pete: Gordon, I have something for you to do.
Gordon: Great! I'm doing a lot of that here.
Pete: I want you to go to Las Pegasus.
Gordon: Cool. What am I going to do?
Pete: You no longer have to work in the yards, but get to drive a train.
Gordon: Swee-- I don't have to work with Hawkeye, right?
Pete: Nope. You gotta work with.....
Gordon: (Please say Honey, please say Honey.)
Pete: Coffee Creme.
Gordon: (Shit) *smiles* Great. I'll get to work right away.
After his fake smile toward Pete, Gordon went to the servicing facility to get his engine for the train. He would be driving a 4-6-6-4 Challenger. A smaller version of the bigboy.
Jeff: Good morning Gordon.
Gordon: Where's Percy?
Jeff: He's fixing track. But don't you know not to switch jobs without permission from the boss?
Gordon: Aha, aha, that was nearly a year ago.
Jeff: You did get permission, right?
Gordon: Yeah! And I don't need your fat ass telling me what to do!
Jeff: You say that, but it doesn't mean it's true. You're the fattest worker here in the U.P.
Gordon: Wow, way to offend me loser. *drives engine*
Gordon then drove his engine onto another track, where he would couple his engine to the train. 75 cars were in the train, and it was all going to L.P.
Gordon: *stops engine*
Coffee Creme: A little closer.
Gordon: ugh *backs up*
Coffee Creme: Perfect. *goes to air brakes*
Gordon: Let's go! Hurry up.
Coffee Creme: *connecting air brakes*
Gordon: *blows whistle*
Meanwhile, up in the signalbox
Snowflake: Hmm, that train must be ready. *turns signal green*
Gordon: *accelerates*
Coffee Creme: WAit!! *finishes connecting air brakes*
Unfortunately Coffee Creme was standing on the couplers while the train was in motion.
Gordon: Let's make this bitch go faster *accelerates to 35*
Coffee Creme: *climbing to top of tender*
Gordon: *sees Coffee Creme* What the fuck is she doing?
Coffee Creme: *runs toward cab*
Gordon: A red signal?! Ahhh, forget it. *drives faster*
Coffee Creme: Oh shit *nearly hits her head on signal, then gets in cab*
Gordon: Where the hell have you been?
Coffee Creme: At the back of the locomotive you careless nincompoop.
Gordon: Fuck you.
Coffee Creme: *grabs shovel* Where's the coal?
Gordon: This engine uses oil, we don't have coal.
Coffee Creme: So, how does the oil get into the firebox?
Gordon: Automatically. All you have to do, is check our fuel, look out the other side of the window, and tell me something important. If it's not important, I'll ignore you.
Coffee Creme: Yeah, I'll let you know, and call the news reporters.
Gordon: So funny I forgot to laugh.
Coffee Creme: There's a train in our way.
Gordon: *slows down* I think we might crash.
Coffee Creme: You shouldn't have passed that red signal.
Gordon: That's not important *going 15*
Coffee Creme: We're going to hit it!
Gordon: *cover eyes*
Coffee Creme: *prepares to jump*
But before Coffee Creme jumped, Gordon's train stopped. It was literally half of a centimeter close to the other train.
Coffee Creme: What happened?
Gordon: I don't know, but it's completely unacceptable. Stay here, I'll be back.
Coffee Creme: I wanna go with you.
Gordon: Stay here!! I'll be back!
Coffee Creme: *sits in chair*
Gordon; *walks to other engine* It's so hot. *turns around*
Coffee Creme: *waiting*
Gordon: *comes back* Fuck it, you go find out what's happening.
Coffee Creme: Me?
Gordon: No, Harry Trumare. Yes you, go!
Coffee Creme: *climbs out of cab*
Gordon: *grabs shovel* Take this with you *throws it at Coffee Creme*
Coffee Creme: *grabs shovel*
Shortly after that, the train in front of Gordon started to move. Once it did, Percy drove up to them in a truck.
Coffee Creme: Hi Percy.
Percy: What's up Coffee? I just wanted you to know there was a derailment because of the track's condition. You'll have to wait for me to fix it, and then you can go.
Gordon: What did he say?
Coffee Creme: We have to wait for the tracks to be fixed.
Gordon: Nope. There has to be another way to get to Las Pegasus.
Percy: There isn't unless you want to travel backwards for twenty miles.
Gordon: It'll be quicker than waiting for you to fix the tracks. Get in Coffee Creme.
Coffee Creme: *gets in cab*
Gordon: *driving backwards*
Coffee Creme: How are we going to see which way we're going?
Gordon: When a train crashes into us, then we'll know.
Coffee Creme: Great.
Gordon: Oh, shut up. You got a better idea?
Coffee Creme: Oui. We put the engine on the other side, and we know which way we're going.
Gordon: Nope. That takes too long.
Eventually they were going 70 miles an hour. They would reach the alternate route in no more than 15 minutes.
Coffee Creme: I'm surprised we haven't crashed yet.
Gordon: We're not going to.
Coffee Creme: I think we should just go forward. The tracks are probably fixed now.
Gordon: No, they're not. As a matter of fact, we had to wait for them to fix the track.
Coffee Creme: Still, could be worse.
Suddenly, the sound of a crashing train could be heard. Orion crashed into the back of Gordon's train.
(Everybody, say it with me)
Luckily, no one was hurt.
Except for the millions of passengers that probably just died on Orion's passenger train. Luckily, no one important was hurt.
Gordon ran surprisingly fast to the end of the train, and was getting prepared to use a spell that would get the derailed cars back onto the tracks.
Gordon: *panting* I have to make it. *nearly trips* I'm so close to the end. *lays on ground*
Gordon stopped, after only moving an inch, running alongside a train that was one mile long.
Coffee Creme: *teleports to end of train*
Gordon: No, no, no! Don't tell Orion anything!! *runs again* Damnit, I'm getting tired. *falls on ground*
Orion: He can't run for shit.
Coffee Creme: Really? Whatever, let's just get our trains back on the tracks, and repair the engines.
Orion: How are we going to do that?
Coffee Creme: *shows horn*
Orion: Oh yeah. Well, I'm a pegasus, so I can't do anything.
Coffee Creme: You don't have to. Just keep your mouth shut about this.
Gordon: *shows up* Don't tell him anything!!
Coffee Creme: Did you hear what I said? I told him to keep his mouth shut.
Gordon: Oh, yeah. I remeber now.
Orion: It's pronounced, re mem ber.
Gordon: Whatever *repairs engine*
Coffee Creme: *repairs freight cars*
Gordon: Ok. Now to check your rolling stock.
Coffee Creme: His passenger cars seem fine.
Gordon: It's called rolling stock.
Orion: Not always. Well, you two did a great job. Better hurry, before we get late.
Gordon: Yeah, you're right. *teleports to engine*
Coffee Creme: *teleports to engine* So, have you learned from your mistakes?
Gordon: What's a mistake?
Coffee Creme: (Why do I even try being nice to him?)
Gordon: *drives train* It was Orion who hit us. He saw us after all, why didn't he stop?
Coffee Creme: Whatever you say.
150 minutes later, Gordon got the war equipment to Las Pegasus.
Sargent: About time. What the fuck took you guys so long?
Gordon: A bunch of idiots got in our way, and derailed our train.
Sargent: None of this stuff better be damaged.
Gordon: It's not, but if it was, I'd fix it.
Sargent: *sees damaged jeeps* Would you now?
And so, Gordon spent two hours helping the military repair jeeps. Then he went back to Cheyenne.
Pete: Well, I heard of an epic screw up you caused with Orion's passenger train today.
Gordon: (Fuck!)
Pete: But I heard you did a very good job fixing the damage caused by the train wreck.
Gordon: (Say what?) Thanks.
Pete: As a reward, I'm giving you the entire week off.
Gordon: Thank you sir.
Pete: Starting now.
Gordon: Yahoo! *runs away* I'm going to a beach alongside Neigh Jersey. See you ponies in one week!!
The end
On the next episode of Ponies On The Rails
Percy, and Jeff get some of the spotlight. In other words, they're getting their own episode
Copyright, 2013
Robotnik: Pingas!
A Lunicorn Continental, the My Little Pony version of a Lincoln.
