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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Running from Chicacolt to San Franciscolt is a railroad called the Union Pacific. It's the largest railroad in the United States, and is run by thousands of ponies. This is the story of some of those ponies that run the rails, aka railroading.

Episode 5: War pony

May 15, 1951

The korean war has been going on for months. Everypony on the Union Pacific was doing their best to deliver supplies to Las Pegasus for use in the U.S military.

Gordon: *doing yard work*
Pete: Gordon, I have something for you to do.
Gordon: Great! I'm doing a lot of that here.
Pete: I want you to go to Las Pegasus.
Gordon: Cool. What am I going to do?
Pete: You no longer have to work in the yards, but get to drive a train.
Gordon: Swee-- I don't have to work with Hawkeye, right?
Pete: Nope. You gotta work with.....
Gordon: (Please say Honey, please say Honey.)
Pete: Coffee Creme.
Gordon: (Shit) *smiles* Great. I'll get to work right away.

After his fake smile toward Pete, Gordon went to the servicing facility to get his engine for the train. He would be driving a 4-6-6-4 Challenger. A smaller version of the bigboy.

Jeff: Good morning Gordon.
Gordon: Where's Percy?
Jeff: He's fixing track. But don't you know not to switch jobs without permission from the boss?
Gordon: Aha, aha, that was nearly a year ago.
Jeff: You did get permission, right?
Gordon: Yeah! And I don't need your fat ass telling me what to do!
Jeff: You say that, but it doesn't mean it's true. You're the fattest worker here in the U.P.
Gordon: Wow, way to offend me loser. *drives engine*

Gordon then drove his engine onto another track, where he would couple his engine to the train. 75 cars were in the train, and it was all going to L.P.

Gordon: *stops engine*
Coffee Creme: A little closer.
Gordon: ugh *backs up*
Coffee Creme: Perfect. *goes to air brakes*
Gordon: Let's go! Hurry up.
Coffee Creme: *connecting air brakes*
Gordon: *blows whistle*

Meanwhile, up in the signalbox

Snowflake: Hmm, that train must be ready. *turns signal green*
Gordon: *accelerates*
Coffee Creme: WAit!! *finishes connecting air brakes*

Unfortunately Coffee Creme was standing on the couplers while the train was in motion.

Gordon: Let's make this bitch go faster *accelerates to 35*
Coffee Creme: *climbing to top of tender*
Gordon: *sees Coffee Creme* What the fuck is she doing?
Coffee Creme: *runs toward cab*
Gordon: A red signal?! Ahhh, forget it. *drives faster*
Coffee Creme: Oh shit *nearly hits her head on signal, then gets in cab*
Gordon: Where the hell have you been?
Coffee Creme: At the back of the locomotive you careless nincompoop.
Gordon: Fuck you.
Coffee Creme: *grabs shovel* Where's the coal?
Gordon: This engine uses oil, we don't have coal.
Coffee Creme: So, how does the oil get into the firebox?
Gordon: Automatically. All you have to do, is check our fuel, look out the other side of the window, and tell me something important. If it's not important, I'll ignore you.
Coffee Creme: Yeah, I'll let you know, and call the news reporters.
Gordon: So funny I forgot to laugh.
Coffee Creme: There's a train in our way.
Gordon: *slows down* I think we might crash.
Coffee Creme: You shouldn't have passed that red signal.
Gordon: That's not important *going 15*
Coffee Creme: We're going to hit it!
Gordon: *cover eyes*
Coffee Creme: *prepares to jump*

But before Coffee Creme jumped, Gordon's train stopped. It was literally half of a centimeter close to the other train.

Coffee Creme: What happened?
Gordon: I don't know, but it's completely unacceptable. Stay here, I'll be back.
Coffee Creme: I wanna go with you.
Gordon: Stay here!! I'll be back!
Coffee Creme: *sits in chair*
Gordon; *walks to other engine* It's so hot. *turns around*
Coffee Creme: *waiting*
Gordon: *comes back* Fuck it, you go find out what's happening.
Coffee Creme: Me?
Gordon: No, Harry Trumare. Yes you, go!
Coffee Creme: *climbs out of cab*
Gordon: *grabs shovel* Take this with you *throws it at Coffee Creme*
Coffee Creme: *grabs shovel*

Shortly after that, the train in front of Gordon started to move. Once it did, Percy drove up to them in a truck.

Coffee Creme: Hi Percy.
Percy: What's up Coffee? I just wanted you to know there was a derailment because of the track's condition. You'll have to wait for me to fix it, and then you can go.
Gordon: What did he say?
Coffee Creme: We have to wait for the tracks to be fixed.
Gordon: Nope. There has to be another way to get to Las Pegasus.
Percy: There isn't unless you want to travel backwards for twenty miles.
Gordon: It'll be quicker than waiting for you to fix the tracks. Get in Coffee Creme.
Coffee Creme: *gets in cab*
Gordon: *driving backwards*
Coffee Creme: How are we going to see which way we're going?
Gordon: When a train crashes into us, then we'll know.
Coffee Creme: Great.
Gordon: Oh, shut up. You got a better idea?
Coffee Creme: Oui. We put the engine on the other side, and we know which way we're going.
Gordon: Nope. That takes too long.

Eventually they were going 70 miles an hour. They would reach the alternate route in no more than 15 minutes.

Coffee Creme: I'm surprised we haven't crashed yet.
Gordon: We're not going to.
Coffee Creme: I think we should just go forward. The tracks are probably fixed now.
Gordon: No, they're not. As a matter of fact, we had to wait for them to fix the track.
Coffee Creme: Still, could be worse.

Suddenly, the sound of a crashing train could be heard. Orion crashed into the back of Gordon's train.

(Everybody, say it with me)

Luckily, no one was hurt.

Except for the millions of passengers that probably just died on Orion's passenger train. Luckily, no one important was hurt.

Gordon ran surprisingly fast to the end of the train, and was getting prepared to use a spell that would get the derailed cars back onto the tracks.

Gordon: *panting* I have to make it. *nearly trips* I'm so close to the end. *lays on ground*

Gordon stopped, after only moving an inch, running alongside a train that was one mile long.

Coffee Creme: *teleports to end of train*
Gordon: No, no, no! Don't tell Orion anything!! *runs again* Damnit, I'm getting tired. *falls on ground*
Orion: He can't run for shit.
Coffee Creme: Really? Whatever, let's just get our trains back on the tracks, and repair the engines.
Orion: How are we going to do that?
Coffee Creme: *shows horn*
Orion: Oh yeah. Well, I'm a pegasus, so I can't do anything.
Coffee Creme: You don't have to. Just keep your mouth shut about this.
Gordon: *shows up* Don't tell him anything!!
Coffee Creme: Did you hear what I said? I told him to keep his mouth shut.
Gordon: Oh, yeah. I remeber now.
Orion: It's pronounced, re mem ber.
Gordon: Whatever *repairs engine*
Coffee Creme: *repairs freight cars*
Gordon: Ok. Now to check your rolling stock.
Coffee Creme: His passenger cars seem fine.
Gordon: It's called rolling stock.
Orion: Not always. Well, you two did a great job. Better hurry, before we get late.
Gordon: Yeah, you're right. *teleports to engine*
Coffee Creme: *teleports to engine* So, have you learned from your mistakes?
Gordon: What's a mistake?
Coffee Creme: (Why do I even try being nice to him?)
Gordon: *drives train* It was Orion who hit us. He saw us after all, why didn't he stop?
Coffee Creme: Whatever you say.

150 minutes later, Gordon got the war equipment to Las Pegasus.

Sargent: About time. What the fuck took you guys so long?
Gordon: A bunch of idiots got in our way, and derailed our train.
Sargent: None of this stuff better be damaged.
Gordon: It's not, but if it was, I'd fix it.
Sargent: *sees damaged jeeps* Would you now?

And so, Gordon spent two hours helping the military repair jeeps. Then he went back to Cheyenne.

Pete: Well, I heard of an epic screw up you caused with Orion's passenger train today.
Gordon: (Fuck!)
Pete: But I heard you did a very good job fixing the damage caused by the train wreck.
Gordon: (Say what?) Thanks.
Pete: As a reward, I'm giving you the entire week off.
Gordon: Thank you sir.
Pete: Starting now.
Gordon: Yahoo! *runs away* I'm going to a beach alongside Neigh Jersey. See you ponies in one week!!

The end

On the next episode of Ponies On The Rails

Percy, and Jeff get some of the spotlight. In other words, they're getting their own episode

Copyright, 2013
Robotnik: Pingas!
Robotnik: Pingas!
posted by triq267
Well. Shit. It's been four years. Four years since I got bored waiting for our guests to arrive for our New Year party and decided to check out that My Little Pony show I'd been hearing about online. I was gonna make a wall post, but I didn't want it to get drowned out in idiocy. I just wanted to have something here, some place for me to remark that this fandom is the greatest thing that ever happened to me, even four years later. Sure, some not great things also happened because of the fandom, but it's been a net positive experience. I honestly don't have a lot to say, I'm just kinda emotional...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Neigh Jersey State Trooper Suburban
Neigh Jersey State Trooper Suburban
Tim: *Backs into his parking space at police barracks*
Captain Jefferson: *Walks over to Tim*
Tim: *Gets out of his car, and locks it*
Captain Jefferson: Your Suburban has arrived.
Tim: Excellent.
Captain Jefferson: The tires, and suspension need to be changed, but everything else is good.
Tim: Do you think it'll be ready by tomorrow?
Captain Jefferson: Yes.
Tim: Good. I placed a tracker on Ultimate Deadman's Jeep. He has two more friends named Big Tire, and Silverado in Silverados.
Captain Jefferson: Great work. As soon as the Suburban is finished being modified, we'll check Ultimate Deadman's...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Song: link

Episode 4: Gran Turismo's Very First Rally

Special guest stars Big Macintosh as Big Tire
Ultimate Deadman from WWEChampion16
Double Diamond as Silverado

A pony in a Mercedes-Benz was pulled over by Tim and Julia. He refused to cooperate with the two police officers.

Tim: You need to show me your driver's license.
Pony: I don't have to show you anything.
Tim: You're gonna regret this.
Pony: I don't care what you say. I'm not showing you my license.
Tim: Please let me see your driver's license.
Pony: I ALREADY GAVE YOU THE REGISTRATION! YOU DON'T NEED TO SEE MY GODDAMN LICENSE!
Tim: That's...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
What to expect in this episode.

Ponies: *Drag racing with Porsches*

---

Stallion: *Going down a hill in a Silverado, and goes through a big muddy puddle*

---

Ultimate Deadman: I have something special to share with you.

---

Tim: *With Captain Jefferson* We're gonna have to find a different way to stop those off-roaders.
Captain Jefferson: The State Troopers could give us a Suburban to get the job done.

---

Tim: If I win this race, you three will be arrested!
Ultimate Deadman: What happens if one of us wins?
Tim: I leave Gran Turismo for good.

Intro
Song: link

Julia: *Driving her police car on the...
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posted by SomeoneButNoone
--
Some time later
--

Lightning - ehhh you've done it now...
Darkness - I don't mind I did horrible stuff.
Whiteheart - My body moved on it own.
Demon - *walk up to them*
Darkness - Hold swords... Hunter what you're doing here...
Hunter - Our opposition have been found and resistance forces are fighting now. Information got Leaked to Pony world as well.
Darkness - so?
Hunter - Meaning your squad is now KOS In both sides, as well as internall Conflicts started.
Darkness - what will you do.
Hunter - I'll give you advise, I'll lead resistance to kill Lord of Shadows and open a way to King of Demons and The...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Date: June 9, 1961
Location: Cheyenne, Wyoming
Time: 8:55 AM
Railroad: Union Pacific

Bow & Arrow got a ride to the train yard by her mother in a scarlet Impala.

Mother: You be careful now Bow.
Bow & Arrow: I will mom.
Mother: And next time you have school, don't gallivant over here until it's over.
Bow & Arrow: I promise. *Gets out of the car*
Mother: *Drives away*

When Bow & Arrow got to the yards, she saw several ponies standing near an auto carrier.

Bow & Arrow: *Spots a railroad pony passing her* Excuse me sir. What happened there?
Railroad Pony 53: We just had a car...
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posted by SomeoneButNoone
The demon ponies got eleminated quickly.
But it was only a call for greater doom.

Darkness - That's about it... *sits on rock and sigh*
Lightning - Wasn't so tough...
Soldier - *hands letter to Lightning*
Lightning - huh... Big army of demons moves to walls of Canterlot - all teams are ordered to defend ~Princess Celestia. So?
Whiteheart - We should go!
Darkness - screw this orders...
Bluewave - What? But tho-
Darkness - its distraction... They aim for officers that won't back off...
Whiteheart - How do you know.
Lightning - He used to work for demons...
Bluewave - But the walls...
Darkness - There are...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Tim was running downstairs in an attempt to find Twilight.

Tim: *Finds Twilight tied to a chair. Her horn and wings have been removed* There you are. *Runs towards her*
Twilight: Look out!
Brett: *Appears behind Tim, and throws a knife*
Tim: *Ducks to avoid being hit by the knife*
Brett: Don't you dare try to help Twilight. She needs to be killed for her crimes against the Islamic State.
Tim: *Grabs his gun*
Brett: *Using magic to make the gun disappear*
Tim: *Runs towards Brett and knocks him down*
Julia: *Outside, on the radio calling for backup* Please hurry. That bomb needs to be disarmed....
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
The next morning at Toby's house, Toby was getting ready to go to work.

Toby: That was a great time we had yesterday.
Twilight: Yes. I want to do that again tonight. This time, invite your friends Tim, and Julia.
Toby: Okay. *Goes to the door, but looks at Twilight before he leaves* Remember, if you're in any kind of trouble, and you can't use your magic, try to make a phone call to my Captain, or Princess Celestia.
Twilight: I won't forget Toby. Thank you.
Toby: You're welcome. *Walks out of the house*
Brett: *In the back with two North Koreans*
Twilight: *Preparing herself a bowl of cereal*...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Tim and Julia were on patrol at the docks.

Julia: *Turns left at the docks*
Tim: Have you decided what kind of Christmas tree you wanted?
Julia: Something big, and fat.
Tim: I'll bet. Our shift ends in five minutes, so we'll go into Ponyville to find one of those.
Julia: *Turns left, and passes a police station, fire house, and hospital*

A brand new Impala in light blue passed them.

Tim: Double line.
Julia: Yeah, I know. *Turns on the police lights*
Stallion 94: *Pulls over*
Julia: *Stops behind the car, and goes out to talk to the driver*
Tim: GT24, pulling over a light blue Chevrolet for passing...
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posted by SomeoneButNoone
Once the darkness falls a new evil uprise.


----
3rd Canterlot fast reaction camp.
----

Lightning - ehhh the new prototype of S-Suit 2 failed.
Darkness - At least it didn't ended like S-Suit 1.5
Whiteheart - What happens?
Lightning - A guy got crushed by power of his magic eventually breaking his skull.
Bluewave - Spooky.
Lightning - If S-Suit will work somehow...
Darkness - Elite Mark VII works right?
Lightning - Its only unworthy prototype but they have way to maneuver...
Officer - *walks to them* Bluewave and Darkness to ability test chamber now.
*they walk away*
Lightning - *looks on Whiteheart*
Whiteheart...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Date: June 1, 1961
Location: Cheyenne, Wyoming
Time: 9:16 AM
Railroad: Union Pacific

Smoky Joe: *Driving the train at 60* (When does the speed limit decrease? I want to crash the train.)
Stylo: Okay, we're gonna be heading up Sherman Hill anytime soon.
Smoky Joe: What is the speed limit there?
Stylo: 50.
Smoky Joe: I have to tell you something.
Stylo: What is it?
Smoky Joe: I'm not slowing down. I'm going to make the train crash on purpose, because you made me stop in the train yard.
Stylo: You were going too fast.
Smoky Joe: I was going the right speed. Now I'm going to fuck things up.
Stylo:...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Song: link

Pinkie Pie: *Flying through the sky with the pair of wings Twilight gave her* I bet I can fly faster than Rainbow Dash. *Clearing five clouds as she goes really fast. She flies upwards, then flies towards the ground. She does a Sonic Rainboom, and goes upwards again* Yeah!!!!

A few minutes later.

Pinkie Pie: *Standing next to Rarity*
Rarity: *Still hitched up to the six heavy wagons* So Pinkie, are you enjoying Rainbow's job?
Pinkie Pie: Yeah! It's very fun.
Rarity: I wish I could do it.
Pinkie Pie: Well next time Celestia is intoxicated, you should ask her.
Rarity: I'll keep "that"...
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posted by SomeoneButNoone
---
Shadow Castle - Undead Realm
---
Demon King - Sweet victory is in air...
Immortal Dvision Soldier - h-how ...
Demon King *slices Soldier* Silence fool...
Mare Demon - Do you wish to send troops to attack gate?
Demon King - First eliminate closest camp of enemy.
Mare Demon - As you wish my majesty.

---
Closest camp
---

Soldier #1 - Kids are our noblr killers, well we are dead

Soldier #2 - Why kids are in army.

Lightning - I like how people react to us... I really enjoy this fully.
Darkness - We sit here and wait for commands...
Whiteheart - Better for us...
*Explosion happens*
Bluewave - Medical bay...
Soldier...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Date: May 25, 1961
Location: Cheyenne, Wyoming
Time: 9:50 AM
Railroad: Union Pacific

The rest of the ponies that were going to work on the tracks arrived in different vehicles.

Jeff: Okay, I removed the bad rails while we were waiting for you. Nopony is in the signal tower, so Percy is operating the switches. Let's lay down the new rails, put in new spikes, then add the ballast. Everyone ready?
Railroad Ponies: Yes.
Jeff: Great. Let's get to work.
Railroad Ponies: *Moving forward in a machine that lays down new rails*

It set down the new rails, and as a lever was pulled, spikes were put in...
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posted by Canada24
"And why the hell should I help any of you?" Ganger groaned.

"Because we heard of you.. Our interests are alike" Said Rover, the lead Diamond dog.

"I'm not the one who got out smarted by a little filly" Ganger mocked.

"S.. She kept whining!" Spot groaned.

"Your only proving my point" Ganger mocked.

"Look.. We might have a way to change you back from a changeling.. We've been secretly working on something over the years.. But it needs gold in order to work" Rover told.

"Gold!?.. Who the hell designed that!?" Ganger mocked.

"Look.. You in or not!?" Rover cried.

"(sighs) Fine... I think I know to get gold" Ganger replied.
posted by Seanthehedgehog
What to expect in this week's episode.

Tim: You're splitting us up?
Captain Jefferson: Just until Saturday. Someone's gotta teach the new guys what to do.

---

Pony: *Driving a sports car* Turn on the nitrous.
Pony 2: *Turns on the nitrous*
Pony: *Going faster*

---

Captain Jefferson: These two guys are wanted by the State Troopers, both in this state, and in Pennsylvania.
Tim: *Driving after the bad guys*
Captain Jefferson: We gotta be on our game.
Tim: *Hits another car, and goes on two wheels*

Song: link

Julia: *Driving her police car on the round freeway*
Tim: *Sitting next to her*

Gran Turismo...
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505 Commander - HQ this is 505 do you copy?
HQ - Copy that 505.
505 Commander - We are getting closer to Station G-41
HQ - Roger, proceed with caution.

-------
American and Canadian vessels.
16:30
--------

Cptn. Bridge - So... How we gonna do it?
Gen. Spectral - We get to Equestrian coast and swim with it then with air support we hit Russian destroyers and we aboard them.
Priv. Jackson - We gonna steal em eh? (Not trying to make a joke about Canadians... Totally...)
Cptn. Bridge - That's a plan... At least we have some free time...

---
GEA HQ
---
Informator - We have invitation from... GlobeX organisation....
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Sean arrived at the airbase with Rainbow Dash, Master Sword, and Wind.

Wind: So, how did you get the name Master Sword?
Master Sword: Because I'm good with a sword.
Wind: Well, all I can say is you're lucky not to be good at fishing.
Master Sword: Why?
Wind: Because then you'd be called Master Bait.
Master Sword: *Angry* You have no idea how many times ponies have told me that.
Sean: Enough. We need to focus on our job. Binoculars.
Rainbow Dash: *Gives Sean the binoculars*
Sean: *Looks at the airbase* Son of a bitch. There's three hundred of them, and they have 200 planes on that base. 50 bombers,...
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Eggman was getting two portals set up. One was in the sky, for the airplanes, and the other one was for the tanks.

Nazi: Everything is ready mien fuhrer.
Eggman: *Scowls at the Nazi* What did I just say?
Nazi: Sorry! Everything is ready doctor.
Eggman: Get those panzers rolling, and get the airplanes started. Bomb the shit out of everything!!
Nazis: *Starting their planes, and fly out of the base, heading towards the portal*
Wind: *Still in Rainbow Dash's car* How far away is it? I'm bored.
Rainbow Dash: Here. *Gives Wind her cell phone* Take this, I got a few apps you might enjoy.
Wind: *Looks...
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