Twilight Series Article: Things Bella Would Never Say ...

43

posted by chocolate-bear

I found this hilarious list on bellaandedward.com. Enjoy :)

Things Bella Would Never Say
1) Edward, drive faster! (Sent in by: Michelle)
2) Edward, I hate you and I don't love you any more. (Sent in by: McKenna)
3) I hate Edward (Sent in by: Emma)
4) Charlie, could you cook dinner? (Sent in by: Jade)
5) Lets go live in Florida! (Sent in by: Brenna)
6) I'm in love with Sam Uley. (Sent in by: Brenna)
7) You know what, I think this is only a crush, Edward! (Sent in by: Brooke)
8) Give me a makeover Alice! (Sent in by: Riza)
9) Mike is the hottest guy on earth! (Sent in by: Lilyn)
10) Edward -- I'm sorry, but I don't love you anymore. I've realized that my true love is Mike Newton. (Sent in by: Andy)
11) Hey Edward, can you go bite Jacob? (Sent in by: Alex)
12) I've decided I don't want to become a vampire anymore. (Sent in by: Stephanie)
13) Good god Edward, you and I are both so perfectly tanned! (Sent in by: Mia)
14) Well, since I obviously smell so good to the vamps, maybe Jasper and I can hook up. Next on my list: Carlisle and Emmett! (Sent in by: Courtney)
15) I think I'll just stay human. (Sent in by: Chris)
16) I don't want to be a vampire anymore. I enjoy being a human too much. (Sent in by: Megan)
17) Edward, I absoltuly hate the color of your eyes.
18) Kiss me, Mike! (Sent in by: Brianna)
19) Oh my god Edward! You're a vampire?! (Sent in by: Maddy)
20) Sorry Edward, I just used you to get to know Emmett. (Sent in by: Lilyn)
21) OH MY GOD. A vampire? And a WEREWOLF?! *runs away screaming frantically* (Sent in by: Phoebe)
22) Let's race! (Sent in by: Gabby)
23) I'm sorry Edward but I am just too coordinated to hang with you (Sent in by: Alexis)
24) Edward, I would just LOVE it if you had red eyes! (Sent in by: Laura)
25) No Edward! Don't bite me! (Sent in by: Laura)
26) Alice, I hate you and you can't be my maid of honour! (Sent in by: Laura)
27) I wish Tyler had taken me to the prom (Sent in by: Laura)
Edward. I'm sorry, I just can't be with you anymore. I'm going back to Jacob, he still has a heartbeat. (Sent in by: Whitney)
28) Edward, will you bite me? I want to know what my blood tastes Edward, I don't want to be a vampire. And I'm going to go ask Aro to kill me. Adios, amigo! (Sent in by: Sara)
29) I wish you wouldn't breathe on me Edward - your breath stinks! (Sent in by: Sarah)
30) I'm going to the beach to get a tan! (Sent in by: Ella)
31) I rock at ALL sports! (Sent in by: Katie)
32) Mmm, delicious spaghetti, Dad! (Sent in by: Brenna)
33) Edward, let's go party! (Sent in by: Alysha)
34) I want a BIG wedding! (Sent in by: Mackenzie and Jennifer)
35) You know, why did you have to kill James? I really loved him you know! (Sent in by: Bubbles and Pussycat)
36) Can we pleeeeeeeeease go play sports? (Sent in by: India)
I'm sorry Edward, but I'm seriously considering going and marrying Jacob tommorow. Hope you don't mind. (Sent in by: Morgan)
37) Mike Newton is a stud muffin! (Sent in by: Jennifer)
38) You feeling alright Edward? Cause you're looking kinda pale... (Sent in by: Laura)
39) Alice, lets have a sleepover. We can paint our nails, and do our hair, and even spend money! (Sent in by: Samm44)
40) Edward, I just dated you to get the coupe. Sorry. (Sent in by: Sam)
41) Edward, you are the cheese to my macaroni. (Sent in by: Allie)
42) Alice, you throw the best parties!! I love them!! (Sent in by: Lauren)
43) Y'know, when I jumped off that cliff? I really was trying to commit suicide. (Sent in by: Doriz)
44) Hey Edward, how about you go with Esme and I hook up with Carlisle. (Sent in by: Samara)
45) Edward, I used you to get Jacob. (Sent in by: Alysha)
46) Let's go to the PROM, Edward!! (Sent in by: Charlotte)
47) Eddy, I'm thinking of dying my hair blonde and going the cheerleaders, whatca think? (Sent in by: Amy)
48) I was thinking we could honeymoon on the beach in Hawaii! (Sent in by: Kelsey)
49) You know Edward, I think when I'm a vampire we should get a dog! (Sent in by: Shelby)
50) Edward, I think it's really creepy how you watch me when I sleep. Please stop. (Sent in by: Alice)

nessie-eska, hinata-elric- and 41 others like this

14 more comments

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funnyshawna heres one ooh, sleepover! fun!

tnme Here is one: Sorry Edward, I want Jacob's baby

wildcats13 13) Good god Edward, you and I are so perfectly tanned! 19) Oh my god Edward! You're a vampire?! 38) You feeling alright Edward? Cause you're looking kinda pale... Haha... these are my favs!!! Hilarious. LMAO

zeri95 i love 41 "Edward, you are the cheese to my macaroni" rotfl literally i crack up whenever i read it!!i also like:21,19 and 46 great job guys!!

BellaSwanCullen 3) I hate Edward (Sent in by: Emma) SHE SAID IT TO HER FATHER WHEN SHE WAS ESCAPING 4) Charlie, could you cook dinner? (Sent in by: Jade) SAID IT WHEN SHE WASNT FEELING GOOD, 2nd or 3rd BOOK

BellaSwanCullen 32) Mmm, delicious spaghetti, Dad! (Sent in by: Brenna) Ya, TO BE NICE..

hajra "God, Edward, get over yourself already!" Haha I LOVE Edward...<3

Jakesgirl94 this is something bella would never say "A baby ,with Edward? I'd rather have puppies!"

IcelandGirl812 These are funny, but on page 431 of Breaking Dawn she says "I'll race you" so #22 doesn't really apply anymore....

hello93 number 44 and 49 are my favorites !! XD

dogluverof2 this is so funny, i love all of it

hellgirl223 lol @ 18!

twilighter-duh i love # 47 its hilirous

jem_ This doesn't have a number --->"I'm sorry Edward, but I'm seriously considering going and marrying Jacob tommorow. Hope you don't mind. (Sent in by: Morgan)"..It's right above number 36. Btw, I love the list it's so funny xP.

taelor4twilight LMAO here's one: "*sigh* Well... Edward see, when you were gone i sort of had a little fun with Jessica, Mike, Tyler, Jacob, Seth, Angela, Leah, Emily, Quil, Billy, Embry and Eric... if u kno what i mean." "Edward, Jacob told me he's madly in love in with you. But i think we can work sumthing out here. I'll take you on weekends!"

sampot haha... heres 1: "Jake could we get married???"

7_steph_7 heres one, renesmee, i hate you, im leaving you and your dad adn marrying paul. XD

7_steph_7 i like numbers 8, 13, 17, 19, 21, 23, 30, 37, 38, 39, 41, and 50! theyre awesome! lol

babina lol! that was hilarious my fave: 12,10,44,49 and many others here is another 1: damn it Edward won't you stop kissing me!

werewolflover 21 is FUNNY.i like things that involve screamin.

Inmagic_x3 38 LMAO XD

percyandpotter Edward: *leaning in to make Bella a vampire* Bella: Oh, wait, I changed my mind.

lysolwipe Oh my gosh these where so funny! I really liked 41. 41) Edward, you are the cheese in my macaroni!

twilight_james i liked 1-50!! they are ALL awesome!

XD3 #13 was just someone over thinking cuz it was gay

6

The story never ends, it’s just beginning - Part 11

posted by sasie_katje88

it's not a really big one, but i guess you'll all been waiting for this one :D Enjoy and again sorry for mistakes :-)

Bella's pov

The days past by very slowly, the only thing I was aloud to do was, eat, sleep and rest. I just hate staying in bed all the time but Edward and the other family members kept a close eye one me, not because I was dangerous but because of the size of my stomach. I was about 3 weeks and I looked like someone who was 8 or 9 months pregnant.
When I ate I still had these outburst, so I only ate once a day. But I didn’t care about that because the baby was big already and...

4

Lizzie's Story, Chapter Three

posted by foreveryours

Chapter 3:

I paused in a small bakery and stomped my feet in an attempt to stimulate the circulation of blood through to my frozen toes. I headed toward the counter and ordered a French baguette, which I always did before going over to Martin’s for dinner because his mother loved them so much. As I waited for the overly tanned baker to finish wrapping up my baguette, I stared out of the window. February in Seattle was one of the dreariest months of the year, especially when it was raining. As if the heavens were listening to my thoughts, a few drops clattered onto the sidewalk. Wonderful....

15

Kidnapped-Chapter 10

posted by ktbminnie12

Bella’s POV

Was I seeing this right? I wiped my eyes to see if I was seeing things correctly. Yep. Sure was. This was the last person I would expect to come save me.
    “Bella. Bella Swan?” he asked in the voice I remembered from the lat time I saw him.
    “Aro? What are you doing here?” I asked.
    Aro shot down the stairs in a second. He crouched in front of me.
    “I came here because our dear friend Lorenzo has broken the rules,” he said.
    “What did he do?” I asked.
    “He...

5

Lust CHAPTER EIGHT

posted by BuffyFaithFan1

BLOOD LUST. . . . . .By: BuffyFaithfan1
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""Chapter Eight: When The Stars Go Blue...""""

There is this lyric from a song by Haley James Scott called DANCING WHEN THE STARS GO BLUE. Its a cover for the song by Tim McGraw WHEN THE STARS GO BLUE. The lyric is: "...Where do you go when youre lonely?..." And it got me thinking. . . .Where DO you go when your lonely? Like where does the lonelyness go? Does it just vanish into thin air? Disappear into the darkness of the past? Fly off into its cave like hole, waiting to affet some body else? Or does...

8

Cliff Diving

posted by Alice_President

Okay, I have never done anything like this before, so please do not laugh, but constructive criticism is welcome. Thanks <3

This is my version of Bella's cliff diving experience in New Moon:

Plummeting through the air at a million miles an hour. I was soaring, cutting my path through the low hanging clouds. I was on top of the world, I was queen. I could see nothing but blue. Suddenly, the air was gone. I was covered in liquid, submerged in a pool of terror. I would have swum to the surface, I could see it, but my legs were failing me. I was going to die if I just stayed here, frozen. I started...

6

Breaking Dawn: 1.Engaged

posted by zner

No one is staring at you, I promised myself. No one is staring at you. No one is
staring at you.
But, because I couldn’t lie convincingly even to myself, I had to check.
As I sat waiting for one of the three traffic lights in town to turn green, I peeked
to the right—in her minivan, Mrs. Weber had turned her whole torso in my
direction. Her eyes bored into mine, and I flinched back, wondering why she
didn’t drop her gaze or look ashamed. It was still considered rude to stare at
people, wasn’t it? Didn’t that apply to me anymore?
Then I remembered that these windows were so darkly tinted that...

13

Starlit - Awakened (Chaper 12)

posted by Yoss

Every shade of green – jade, olive, emerald – looked dull. The trees held no interest for me. I expected, as I let my vampire senses took over me, that everything around me would burst in color, would awe me as they once did. I could see every spectrum of light, every tiny grain of soil and sand under my feet, I could hear every sound –the frantic heart beats of the small animals cowering in fear, the slithering of the insects beneath the ground, the muffled cries of the birds as they flew away, the gentle whoosh of the breeze – I once found beauty in all these. Today, I found none....

17

Kayla, Chapter 31

posted by twilight-7

It was very quiet. I didn’t want to be the first to break the silence that enveloped us. By us I meant Alice, Jasper and me. Jasper was driving somewhere. They hadn’t told me. I was particularly worried; I knew I could trust them. Also because Jasper was working his magic on me so it was hard to feel worried. So I was left with my thoughts to keep my company. It was hard being away from Edward. I had spent so much of my time with him that it felt wrong that he wasn’t by my side. My heart felt like it had been ripped into tiny pieces and scattered across America. It would take a lot of...

9

The Other Way (Edward's POV of Bella Choosing Jacob)

posted by CharmedVamp101

"Bella, I"... I didn't know what to say. In that moment, my no longer beating heart was torn in two. It was like she tore it from my chest, stuck it in her mouth, chewed it up and spit it out on my feet. I couldn't believe she chose that dog over me. But it was her decision. I looked down, I knew this was coming, I could see it in her eyes.
"Bella, if that's what you want, I'll leave now."
"Of course it's what I want, you left, I tried to deal with it, but now I realize that Jake is the one that I want."
"Yeah bloodsucker, I was always better for her."
I turned and started walking, but I just...

27

New Story - Chapter Ten

posted by dinosteph

Hey guys. I just wanted to let everyone know that I really enjoy that you guys enjoy the story this far. I'm also wondering if you think it's going a little slow. I tend to explain things a lot, when it comes to scenes and other characters. I'm trying to include everyone in the family, so you're not wondering where everyone is.

I watched him, laying beside me, not moving. It had been a little over an hour and I couldn't ignore the noises coming from my stomach anymore.

“Edward?” I whispered, tapping his arm lightly, unsure if I should bother him or not. I watched as he closed his eyes, lines...

meeting emmet(rose's story)

posted by twilight0girl

a hunt to remenber
today, the sun was shing bright,so today were staying home to hunt.it was just a normal day.at least thats what i thought.just as i was just about to pounce on a mountain lion,i heard a screech of pain and terror."edward!"i called."what!whats wrong!"he shouted"did you hear that,someone's screaming."his expresion changed from concern to concentration."edward,edward"i said"shhh,im concentrating."on what?"i hear it now,"he said "im going to check it out."what!why does edward get to check every thing out?!"no!i'll do it."i blurted."o.k if you say so."i started running to the...

5

Unchained Melody: Chapter One

posted by SaraE

This is my first Twilight fan fiction. I started writing it a bit after I read Eclipse. So it's set after that, and does not mesh with Breaking Dawn. Anyway, I got the idea while listening to the song Unchained Melody, hence the title, and started writing it. I'm looking for a beta reader, btw! Feedback is much appreciated.

* * *

Unchained Melody

“Cold feet?” I heard his voice whisper into my ear. I would have jumped or screamed if it wasn’t for the fact I seem to be in a catatonic state. I knew it was Jacob’s voice, but I couldn’t see him. Even if he were to walk up in front of my wide...

10

Dreamnapped-Chapter Two The Party

posted by Twilight597

Chapter Two-The Party

    Charlie and I ate at the lodge than we left to Edward’s house. Edward was waiting on the porch. Charlie left and Edward and I went inside. The inside of the Cullen’s house looked like a dance club, but so much better. Alice must have gone way overboard again. It was almost eight o’clock, so guest should be joining us soon.
    Jess, Angela, Mike, Ben, Lauren, and Eric were the first to come. I found out I barely knew anybody here.
    “The mutt is still not here, but I cant see anything” Alice said...

18

Kayla, Chapter 13

posted by twilight-7

Chapter 13 Guys, I wrote as fast as I could.

Jacob’s eyes refused to open. My eyes filled with moisture and tears rolled down my cheeks. I had probably killed him. I had my mind focused on his so I would be able to hear even the faintest of his thoughts, so that I would know he was ok. I was going to call Charlie but I realised that Jacob didn’t need the police. He needed a doctor. And what doctor could get here in less than three minutes?
I patted myself down, searching for my cell phone. I knew I had it when I left the house today so I must have on me somewhere. I found it in my jean pocket....

15

Aura--Chapter 8--Return

posted by mikaela_isabela

hey guys, this is a loooooooong chapter, i had a lot of inspiration...so enjoi!

As we pulled into out drive-way, I was pretty much on the edge of my seat.
We were finally home, and I needed to see Bella. Carlisle could feel my tension.
“Edward, there’s no point going to her now, she’ll be fast asleep. It’s almost 7 in the morning.”
You’ll need to give her sometime, Edward. Let her cool off. Esme, always the logical thinker. But she has had over three months to cool off, and if I don’t see her now, I might just explode.
As soon as the car pulled to a stop, Alice said, “Have fun…”...

6

Why I don't think Dakota Fanning is the right choice to play Jane.

posted by kitkat211

Let me start off by saying that I think Dakota Fanning is a fabulous actress. That being said here are my reason why I don't think she would make the best Jane. Their are a bunch a little problems and one big problem with her playing Jane. The big problem for me is her age. Dakota Fanning was born on Febuary 23 1994. That would put her at 15 years old when she starts filming in March. Thats only 4 years younger the Kristen(Bella) who was born in 1990 and only 2 years younger the Taylor(jacob) who was born in 1992. Jane is ONLY surpost be 12-13 years old and NO WHERE near Bella's age.

21

Moonlight - Chapter Six

posted by Twilight_F

Here is the long awaited Chapter six....well not very long awaited...but here it is!!!! I got my ideas from the Twilight Books so there are connections. Please READ, RATE AND COMMENT!!!! ENJOY!!!!!

CHAPTER 6

This chapter is a flashback from the time when Bella’s parents died. Bella’s mum’s POV. (Renée’s POV)

It was raining heavily as Charlie, Bella and I were coming back from a supper. Bella was sleeping deeply in the back seat. When suddenly a flash of lightening came down from the sky. I heard a CRACK and in front of us fell a huge tree. Charlie braked vigorously. But it wasn’t enough....

26

Moonlight - Chapter One

posted by Twilight_F

This is my first one so please read and comment. I got my ideas from the Twilight Saga. Hope you like it and if you do I will do more!! Sorry it's quiet short but I want to make shore people like it first.

I was cold and wet as I scurried away from the bear that was meters from me. But this bear was oblivious to the fact that I might be his supper. I was crawling on my hands and knees, trying to get away from this creature. But in my blind panic, I slipped and snapped a branch that I was leaning on for support.
A sudden wave of reality hit me. I was going to die. This...

4

Forks, Chapter 2, New Kids

posted by doyouknow

Never in a million years would I have thought I would warm to Forks. The rain and the cold didn’t bother me anymore, but maybe that was because Jacob was always unseasonably warm.
It’s been two months since I first arrived here, and I was settling down quite well. I had made a couple of new friends in school; Jessica, Mike, Eric, Tyler and Angela were becoming quite good friends at this point. Although I got the impression that Mike and Eric wanted a little bit more. That didn’t bother me though, I already had a boyfriend. Ever since that first day Jacob and I had been inseparable. Charlie...

3

Emmett and Rosalie ch.2 Alice, Jasper, and gulp Edward

posted by twerdx24x1

There was a light tapping on the front door.....

Carlisle was already at the door waiting for them to come in. Emmett and I were in the living room and Esme was in her office upstairs, and Edward had gone hunting. Carlisle opens the door in 8 tenths of a second. I got up because there was a new smell, something like lilacs, and another more chesnut flavor. I went to the door and i saw this short girl who looked to be at least 17 and a male who looked to be like 19, they were there at the door with huge smiles on their faces, but their eyes were not gold like ours, they were a deep burgundy.
They...