Twilight Series Article: Things Bella Would Never Say ...

43

posted by chocolate-bear

I found this hilarious list on bellaandedward.com. Enjoy :)

Things Bella Would Never Say
1) Edward, drive faster! (Sent in by: Michelle)
2) Edward, I hate you and I don't love you any more. (Sent in by: McKenna)
3) I hate Edward (Sent in by: Emma)
4) Charlie, could you cook dinner? (Sent in by: Jade)
5) Lets go live in Florida! (Sent in by: Brenna)
6) I'm in love with Sam Uley. (Sent in by: Brenna)
7) You know what, I think this is only a crush, Edward! (Sent in by: Brooke)
8) Give me a makeover Alice! (Sent in by: Riza)
9) Mike is the hottest guy on earth! (Sent in by: Lilyn)
10) Edward -- I'm sorry, but I don't love you anymore. I've realized that my true love is Mike Newton. (Sent in by: Andy)
11) Hey Edward, can you go bite Jacob? (Sent in by: Alex)
12) I've decided I don't want to become a vampire anymore. (Sent in by: Stephanie)
13) Good god Edward, you and I are both so perfectly tanned! (Sent in by: Mia)
14) Well, since I obviously smell so good to the vamps, maybe Jasper and I can hook up. Next on my list: Carlisle and Emmett! (Sent in by: Courtney)
15) I think I'll just stay human. (Sent in by: Chris)
16) I don't want to be a vampire anymore. I enjoy being a human too much. (Sent in by: Megan)
17) Edward, I absoltuly hate the color of your eyes.
18) Kiss me, Mike! (Sent in by: Brianna)
19) Oh my god Edward! You're a vampire?! (Sent in by: Maddy)
20) Sorry Edward, I just used you to get to know Emmett. (Sent in by: Lilyn)
21) OH MY GOD. A vampire? And a WEREWOLF?! *runs away screaming frantically* (Sent in by: Phoebe)
22) Let's race! (Sent in by: Gabby)
23) I'm sorry Edward but I am just too coordinated to hang with you (Sent in by: Alexis)
24) Edward, I would just LOVE it if you had red eyes! (Sent in by: Laura)
25) No Edward! Don't bite me! (Sent in by: Laura)
26) Alice, I hate you and you can't be my maid of honour! (Sent in by: Laura)
27) I wish Tyler had taken me to the prom (Sent in by: Laura)
Edward. I'm sorry, I just can't be with you anymore. I'm going back to Jacob, he still has a heartbeat. (Sent in by: Whitney)
28) Edward, will you bite me? I want to know what my blood tastes Edward, I don't want to be a vampire. And I'm going to go ask Aro to kill me. Adios, amigo! (Sent in by: Sara)
29) I wish you wouldn't breathe on me Edward - your breath stinks! (Sent in by: Sarah)
30) I'm going to the beach to get a tan! (Sent in by: Ella)
31) I rock at ALL sports! (Sent in by: Katie)
32) Mmm, delicious spaghetti, Dad! (Sent in by: Brenna)
33) Edward, let's go party! (Sent in by: Alysha)
34) I want a BIG wedding! (Sent in by: Mackenzie and Jennifer)
35) You know, why did you have to kill James? I really loved him you know! (Sent in by: Bubbles and Pussycat)
36) Can we pleeeeeeeeease go play sports? (Sent in by: India)
I'm sorry Edward, but I'm seriously considering going and marrying Jacob tommorow. Hope you don't mind. (Sent in by: Morgan)
37) Mike Newton is a stud muffin! (Sent in by: Jennifer)
38) You feeling alright Edward? Cause you're looking kinda pale... (Sent in by: Laura)
39) Alice, lets have a sleepover. We can paint our nails, and do our hair, and even spend money! (Sent in by: Samm44)
40) Edward, I just dated you to get the coupe. Sorry. (Sent in by: Sam)
41) Edward, you are the cheese to my macaroni. (Sent in by: Allie)
42) Alice, you throw the best parties!! I love them!! (Sent in by: Lauren)
43) Y'know, when I jumped off that cliff? I really was trying to commit suicide. (Sent in by: Doriz)
44) Hey Edward, how about you go with Esme and I hook up with Carlisle. (Sent in by: Samara)
45) Edward, I used you to get Jacob. (Sent in by: Alysha)
46) Let's go to the PROM, Edward!! (Sent in by: Charlotte)
47) Eddy, I'm thinking of dying my hair blonde and going the cheerleaders, whatca think? (Sent in by: Amy)
48) I was thinking we could honeymoon on the beach in Hawaii! (Sent in by: Kelsey)
49) You know Edward, I think when I'm a vampire we should get a dog! (Sent in by: Shelby)
50) Edward, I think it's really creepy how you watch me when I sleep. Please stop. (Sent in by: Alice)

nessie-eska, hinata-elric- and 41 others like this

14 more comments

loading additional comments...

funnyshawna heres one ooh, sleepover! fun!

tnme Here is one: Sorry Edward, I want Jacob's baby

wildcats13 13) Good god Edward, you and I are so perfectly tanned! 19) Oh my god Edward! You're a vampire?! 38) You feeling alright Edward? Cause you're looking kinda pale... Haha... these are my favs!!! Hilarious. LMAO

zeri95 i love 41 "Edward, you are the cheese to my macaroni" rotfl literally i crack up whenever i read it!!i also like:21,19 and 46 great job guys!!

BellaSwanCullen 3) I hate Edward (Sent in by: Emma) SHE SAID IT TO HER FATHER WHEN SHE WAS ESCAPING 4) Charlie, could you cook dinner? (Sent in by: Jade) SAID IT WHEN SHE WASNT FEELING GOOD, 2nd or 3rd BOOK

BellaSwanCullen 32) Mmm, delicious spaghetti, Dad! (Sent in by: Brenna) Ya, TO BE NICE..

hajra "God, Edward, get over yourself already!" Haha I LOVE Edward...<3

Jakesgirl94 this is something bella would never say "A baby ,with Edward? I'd rather have puppies!"

IcelandGirl812 These are funny, but on page 431 of Breaking Dawn she says "I'll race you" so #22 doesn't really apply anymore....

hello93 number 44 and 49 are my favorites !! XD

dogluverof2 this is so funny, i love all of it

hellgirl223 lol @ 18!

twilighter-duh i love # 47 its hilirous

jem_ This doesn't have a number --->"I'm sorry Edward, but I'm seriously considering going and marrying Jacob tommorow. Hope you don't mind. (Sent in by: Morgan)"..It's right above number 36. Btw, I love the list it's so funny xP.

taelor4twilight LMAO here's one: "*sigh* Well... Edward see, when you were gone i sort of had a little fun with Jessica, Mike, Tyler, Jacob, Seth, Angela, Leah, Emily, Quil, Billy, Embry and Eric... if u kno what i mean." "Edward, Jacob told me he's madly in love in with you. But i think we can work sumthing out here. I'll take you on weekends!"

sampot haha... heres 1: "Jake could we get married???"

7_steph_7 heres one, renesmee, i hate you, im leaving you and your dad adn marrying paul. XD

7_steph_7 i like numbers 8, 13, 17, 19, 21, 23, 30, 37, 38, 39, 41, and 50! theyre awesome! lol

babina lol! that was hilarious my fave: 12,10,44,49 and many others here is another 1: damn it Edward won't you stop kissing me!

werewolflover 21 is FUNNY.i like things that involve screamin.

Inmagic_x3 38 LMAO XD

percyandpotter Edward: *leaning in to make Bella a vampire* Bella: Oh, wait, I changed my mind.

lysolwipe Oh my gosh these where so funny! I really liked 41. 41) Edward, you are the cheese in my macaroni!

twilight_james i liked 1-50!! they are ALL awesome!

XD3 #13 was just someone over thinking cuz it was gay

New Moon - Chapter 1 - Party (pages 25-29)

posted by 2468244

*by Stephenie Meyer*

NEW MOON - chapter 1 - PARTY

We were pulling up to the house now. Bright light shined from every window on the first two floors. A long line of glowing Japanese lanterns hung from the porch eaves, reflecting a soft radiance on the huge cedars that surrounded the house. Big bowls of flowers - pink roses - lined the wide stairs up to the front doors.
I moaned.
Edward took a few deep breaths to calm himself. “This is a party,” he reminded me. “Try to be a good sport.”
“Sure,” I muttered.
He came around to get my door, and offered me his hand.
“I have a question.”...

6

Conversation EPOV part 9

posted by CarlislesLover

I'm sorry it's been a while since I posted this story.
XX

“I’ll go after them you guys stay here”

“Renee”

“Just stay here” Renee walked out the front door and went to the airport were Bella and Jacob had presumably gone. “So what do we do know?”

“I would look to see Bella’s future but of course she’s with Jacob so I can’t see”

“I hope she’s ok”

“We all hope she’s ok” Carlisle was looking around for something. “What are you looking for Carlisle?” Esme asked. “My wallet, I put it on the table and now it’s gone”

“I bet the dog stole it”

“He better...

9

Is This Really Happening? (Edward's pov)Chapter 2

posted by rubytuesday101

My name is Edward Mason Juinor i am 18 and have no wife.My parents are constantly asking me to talk to this woman and this woman.They dont understand love.My dad Edward is the town lawer and is rich.All the girls in town fall all over me but i dont like any of them you should not have to changer yourself or show off to get a man to like you they should like you no matter what you are like.I decided today i will go to the book store and buy a new book.I went into the kitchen and mother was in there.
"Good morning mother i am off to the book store i will be home later"i said and gave her a kiss...

2

Wanted, Chapter One

posted by wanderingk

How I imagined Elina.

Renesmee, my cousin, was the jewel of the family. She was the only birth child, and the most beautiful at that. With her glorious auburn hair and chocolate-brown eyes, she was gorgeous. A baby face still, but still gorgeous. She had an amazing gift, and already had a lover, Jacob, who was amazing to her.

Me, on the other hand, was adopted by Rosalie and Emmett, and I never knew my parents. My mother was a human, but my father was a vampire. When I was born, my mother had died, and my father left me to die in the woods, where Carlisle found me. He then took me home, and Rosalie fell in love...

My Moon, My Man. Chapter 5

posted by AnonymousXXX

I hope you enjoy! I been feeling down latly... Comment and talk to me bout what you think of my chapters. I'd love to hear your thoughts.

As I woke up in bed I replayed images of last night. As I did I realized I loved being with Ethan and that scared me more than anything. Seeing as it had only been a day. How do you love being around a person so quickly? How do you like someone so much in just one day? It was insane but true. So did that make me insane?
My thoughts were quickly interrupted by my sister. She came bursting through the door and jumped on my bed.
“Ok so about yesterday… Forgive...

9

Kayla's Visions, Chapter 35

posted by twilight-7

“Kayla, look at this one!”
“I see it, Alice.”
“Isn’t it just gorgeous!” gushed my sister-in-law. She picked up a dress made of satin blue material and held it against me. I looked down at it, wishing I could go home. But my husband beside me, gently squeezed my hand, reminding me I would not be able to escape.
“Yes,” I smiled at Alice. “Very pretty.”
Alice couldn’t sense my lack of enthusiasm but Edward could. I knew he was trying to cheer me up but a shopping trip wasn’t the best way to do it. He sighed quietly.
“We’ll need to get you a size bigger,” Alice said,...

i he never chapter 23

posted by KatiiCullen94

I was soo bored, flicking through the channels was pointles i knew i diddnt want to watch tv anyway. the room was soo quiet, i diddnt like it.
edward had woken me up a little while ago explaining that his family was going out for about hour and a bit for hunting,so i was home alone with Tanna. i couldn't hear Tanna show that she was awake, thank god.
i stood up and walked oout the door still wearing yesterdays clothes, now considering that im still human and i still have cravings like one, i went straight to the cupboard, and searched for the first thing that said PIG OUT! I also wanted to...

1

Twilight - Chapter 21 - Phone Call (pages 423-430)

posted by 2468244

*by Stephenie Meyer*

TWILIGHT - chapter 21 - PHONE CALL

I could feel it was too early again when I woke, and I knew I was getting the schedule of my days and nights slowly reversed. I lay in my bed and listened to the quiet voices of Alice and Jasper in the other room. That they were loud enough for me to hear at all was strange. I rolled till my feet touched the floor and then staggered to the living room.
The clock on the TV said it was just after two in the morning. Alice and Jasper were sitting together on the sofa, Alice sketching again while Jasper looked over her shoulder. They didn't...

6

The girl who fell in love with a Werewolf

posted by twilight_lover9

Lilly Black...

I walked through the gates of Forks High school, i was shaking i was that nervous i looked around
and saw teenagers flocking through the car park, i kept my eyes down and headed towards a ancient building with a small welcoming sign that said: Welcome to Forks High School. I entered the old building and found a beautiful brunette lady sitting at a small cluttered desk, she looked at me and plastered on a smile.
“Hello dear how may i help you?” she said sweetly.
“Um I'm Lilly Black, I'm new here” i said quietly. She than turned away from me and started searching through a bunch of papers...

4

Wolf Brothers Chapter Five

posted by She_wolf

Leah tis awesome =]

Chapter Five ( writers block strikes again =[)
soz this chapters not as good as the others, writers block =[

Everyone seemed to know. Jake swore he hadn’t told anyone, but news spread like wild fire in La Push. It started off as just gossiping, but had soon escalated to taunting. Leah had conveniently ditched us, but Quil, Jake and Seth stupidly stood by me. I was surprised; they seemed to pick on Jake just as much as me. But Jake took it all in his stride, standing up for me, even though the more he stood up for me the more they taunted him. I couldn’t bear it. My friends were sharing...

7

If he nevcer came back cp9

posted by KatiiCullen94

to darkfairy97! thank you!

i woke.if you called that sleeping. but i diddnt want to move, i was too shocked to move, like i couldn't, paralized . again.
Jacob said that he wasn't going to leave the house after last night, had givin up to continuing carrying on about the scent.
i jsut sat back ,and diddnt reply. i couldn't say a word. my face was numb, my whole body was cut off from me.
i knew that me acting this way would give concerns to jacob, but that diddnt matter now. i believe that after seeing Carlisle that Jacob knew who was there last night, but was too afraid of me to ask what happened....

4

twilight breaking dawn edwareds pov

posted by xroylex

i am sort of new to the whole writing thing and i would really love it if you would comment please.

preface

everything i ve been fighting for was going to peaces all my dear 1s the people i couldn`t live without and the people that would be a pain to lose. "can i meet her" what was i ment to do say no? this is like last time when bellas life was lost before my very eyes.
as they stalked fowared i could see there mind set on two things that i would not give up without a fight.

chapter one
the talk

it was a couple of days before the wedding and i was nervous no not cause i wernt readdy well i wernt...

10

Kayla's Visions, Chapter 19

posted by twilight-7

Charlie and Tess were still watching the film, some romantic comedy with Reese Witherspoon and Mark Ruffalo about a ghost and how she wasn’t dead but in a coma and they needed to save her and such, completely unaware of what had just happened. As Edward and I walked into the living-room, Charlie turned away from the screen. The worry was still in his eyes and I knew I wouldn’t see it leave for quite some time.
“What was that about?” he asked me. Tess turned around when he spoke and she smiled up at me. I saw no concern in her eyes.
“There’s something we need to tell you, Charlie,”...

1

Okay,this is a little bit too much...

posted by AnaRoseCullen

I mean I understand if someone hates a crazy,neurotic Twilight fan,but to think about Christmas as something as a good chance to insult and quote "piss off" Twi fan,I find it nothing but ridiculous.
Look at this:
"Hate Twilight? Want to piss off a Twilight fan this xmas? Stop by
www.planetneonbunny.com and buy one (or more) of our Twilight mocking
t-shirts, £10 each plus reasonable worldwide shipping.Make their xmas lousy!"

Seriously,isn't Xmas suppose to be about love and sharing with your loved ones?Well obviously not anymore.This is what I see as obsessed Twilight hater,if you hate something...

2

Once Upon A Time... chapter one

posted by IsabellaMCullen

My newest and second fanfic.Pairing is Emmett/Alice.All human at the beginning.Hope you like this one.Oh and I dedicate the entire story to Paramore-CSI aka Pringles!

Luv ya for reading
xoxo bree xoxo

**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**

Once Upon A Time....

Chapter One

Alice POV

I opened my eye's, and gazed out the window.Thankfully last nights rain had stopped.This was wonderful!Almost as if it were another sign that Emmett and I belong together.Today is such a big day in our relationship.Today is our One year Six month aniversary.I pratically jumped fom my bed and ran to my...

3

100 ways to annoy the Cullens

posted by e2mma2weasle3

100 ways to annoy the Cullen’s.

1.) Take Jasper to an African American Support center and tell everyone there his full name.

2.) Talk in a really bad Texas ancient when around Jasper.

3.) Tell Carlisle that Esme has been having an affair with Aro Volturi

4.) Dangle Alice's favorite pair of shoes over your head when you are standing on the opposite side of the boundary line.

5.) Fill Edward's iPod with rap songs

6.) Fill Emmett’s with classical

7.) Tell Alice that Jasper looks at porn

8.) Pay ten guys to look at Rosalie and go "Ewe"

9.) Spray paint Edward's car pink

10.) Tell him it was Alice's idea...

3

Solar Eclipse (edwards POV of new moon)*SNEAK PEEK*

posted by BellaCullenHale

New Moon

**SNEAK PEEK**
This is just a sneak peek the rest will not be writen untill i finish ''My Midnight Sun'' Enjoy and tell me what u think!

Edwards POV
THE WOODS
''If that's what you want.'' I could hear the tears amergeing in her voice. I wanted to kill myself right then and there for causeing those tears. I leaned forward,and kissed her forhead for the last time. Then i took off.Not takeing one look back. 'It's for her safety.' I thought to myself. Even though I just tore my whole life apart. It was still about her.And always will be. The wind blew by me with a chance to go back. It blew hard even...

6

Bellas Worst Nightmares-chpt 4

posted by twilight_james

chapter 4

I woke up, and Carlisle was in the room.
"Bella" he said in relief.
"Where..where am I?" I stuttered. I looked and I couldn't reconginse the room.
"Bella.." Carlisle said questionly. "you're in our house, in the lounge room.
I loked around and saw that I was. "Okay" I caught my reflection in a mirror. I had stitches down my face, and when I turned, I saw that there were long rows of more stitches down my back as well.
"Carlisle, what happened to me?" I asked, unable to make sense of the black lines of stiching.
He hesistated. "Well, when you were in the room, Edward-"
I cut hm off "Edward!...

13

a cursed story:chapter 8 & 9!: not a sweet life:(

posted by joe-edwardfan

Chapter 8: not a sweet life
I woke up with Damien's arms tightened around my naked chest.ewww eww eww eww, I swear I’ll kill him! i slid myself out of his grasp and flew to my closet I quietly wore something to escape from him while I was putting on my jeans I was thinking of some place where Damien cant find me, I really couldn’t think of any where so I grabbed my bag and headed to the door hope fully Damien was still sleeping I opened the door and quietly closed it behind me I rushed to my car when jasper interrupted me
-Bella what's wrong? Your so scared and worried.
Not a good timing please...

1

Edwards POV before the wedding and when he has just married

posted by foxiroxi41

Edwards pov before and when he has married bella

Bella must look wonderful. The dress i saw in Alices thoughs was amazing, not that i mean to look.
i cant help but think how lucky i am, Bella keeps telling me that she is the lucky one, but
i dont believe her. Oooh, how i crave her!! Her lips, the way her hair curls into ringlets,
how she bites her small, square nails. Everything about her is amazing, she s just what i need
to keep me hanging on throughout the next few eternities, and after that, forever! I need to
see her, Alice has kept her away from me for the past week, doing every little thing...