Twilight Series Article: Funny Twilight Quotes! :D

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posted by Renesmee_08

1) I was pale before Twilight made it cool.

2) I drive like a Cullen.

3) Jacob could BEAST f*ck me ANYTIME!!!

4) Looks at Edward...Damn he's hot, Jacob walks up...Edward who?

5) Does someone need a Jasper hug?

6) When Emmett Cullen does pushups, he doesn't push himself up; he pushes the ground down.

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Blondes may have more fun, but Edward prefers Brunettes.

8) "You're pale white...and ice cold...I know what you are" "Say it... Out loud." "A SNOWMAN!"

9) Having a pulse? ... So overrated.

10) "Are you afraid?" "No." "Then let's dance!"

11) Emmett: I have to get home for the game. Alice: They lose. Emmett: F*** you Alice! F*** YOU!

12) This may hurt just a little. *Jane squeezes Bella's wrist.*

13) "And so the hienna fell in love with the pop tart."

14) Edward makes Peeping Toms sexy.

15) Dear Jacob: I win. Sincerely, Edward.

16) Note to everyone: go to Alice's parties or she will kidnapp you and force you to go!

17) Edward can BUST my headboard, BITE my pillows, and BRUISE my body ANYDAY!

18) Do that again, and I will so give you a papercut in front of Jasper.

19) It’s all fun and games until someone gets a papercut!

20) Give blood- date a Cullen.

21) Forks: where sparkly men tell you that you smell delicious.

22) It’s thundery, which can only mean one thing. Speed dial my hunting team! We’re searching every field in a five mile radius!

23) If an Apple a day keeps the doctor away....SCREW APPLES! I WANNA SEE DR.CULLEN!

24) You don’t like Twilight? That’s okay. It’s ok if I stick your head in a blender as well, right?

25) I’m sorry, did you say something? It didn’t sound Twilight related, so I wasn’t paying attention.

26) Well they do say diamonds are a girl’s best friend, and dogs are mans’ best friend!

27) My room is Edward-proof. Freshly greased window so it won’t stick, brand new pillows and high central heating. I even have that rocking chair he loves...

28) Who needs a boyfriend? We have Twilight.

29) I so don’t understand this whole ‘Edward or Jacob. Who’s hotter?’ thing. I mean we all know the real question is Jasper or Emmett. Who’s colder and sexier?

30) Roses are red. Violets are blue. I love Twilight. So should you.

31) Screw Santa, I want Edward Cullen to come down my chimney!

32) Eat->Sleep->Read Twilight->Watch Twilight->Repeat.

33)I wonder if Edward and his family knew when Bella was on her period? Hmm... pretty embarrassing...

34) Some find Edward Cullen romantic. However, if he looked his actual age, would you think it romantic for an old, haggard, 110 year old man to be sneaking into an 18 year old girl's room to watch her sleep?

35) I can live without food, but I can’t do without my daily dose of Twilight.

36) Who needs a life? I have Twilight.

37) I'm not sleeping till I get a piggy back from Emmett!

38) Loreal Jasper- Because you're worth it

39) When Life Gives You Lemons, THROW THEM BACK AND DEMAND FOR EDWARD CULLEN!!!

40) If i get sick take me to Dr Cullen

41) Edward Cullen: The Other White Meat

42) Keep Calm and Love Twilight

43) Oh Hale No!

44) I didn't get my letter to Hogwarts, so I'm moving to Forks instead.

45) Forget a knight in shining armor, I want a vampire in shiny Volvo!

46) Team Edward, except when Jacob is shirtless...

47) Unconditionally and irrevocably Twilight obsessed.

mr-cullen, BloodyObsession and 1 other like this

Elle-C This was truly hilarious -- thanks for posting!

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Robert Pattinson Related to Dracula?

posted by Hellohoudini

Robert Pattinson Related to Dracula?
By Twilight_News |

According to ET:

“The Associated Press says researchers at Ancestry.com have connected Pattinson and the Transylvanian ruler through their relationship to the British royal family; the site claims Pattinson is a distant cousin of Princes Harry and William, who are distant nephews of Vlad the Impaler.
“Tracing Pattinson’s family back to Vlad was difficult research, but the pieces that unraveled created the perfect accompaniment to ‘The Twilight Saga,’” said Anastasia Tyler, a genealogist at Ancestry.com. “Without any myth or magic, we find royalty and vampires lurking in Pattinson’s life — making his story just as supernatural as the one he’s playing on screen.”

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Hello, My Name Is: Death ~Vol. 4~ [SIX]

posted by BuffyFaithFan1

Hello, My Name Is: Death
Volume Four
BuffyFaithfan1
_______________________________
[SIX]
    "Oh my god," I said and sat in the chair Jerek did when I went to take a shower.
    "So, what do we do, doc?" Tabra asked.
    "We try to get him back. Tabra run outside and see if you can still-"
    "It's too late," I interrupted.
    "How so?" She asked.
    "We don't know what time he was take, we just know he was taken between the ten minutes of my shower, which means that he could...

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the follow up to a beautiful death part 8

posted by xroylex

"hey! nessie!" blake greeted me in the car park he must of been waiting for me.
"heya blake whatssup?"
"well i was just wondering did you want to do something tonight?" he sounded nervous but he wanted to be confident and i needed a night out and pluss i didnt want to go back there. not tonight anyway.
"sure what did you have in mind?" i smiled as his eyes widened.
"erm well my mum and dad are going out tonight so we could have a film? i mean i can get other people around? if you want?"
"no thats fine i would love to come and watch a film with you. see you tonight then"
i didnt really know most...

5

the follow up to a beautiful death part 5

posted by xroylex

the morrning passed quickly so when i started to walk towards the dining hall i was thinking about what had happened the two leasons i was in.
i sat at the back with my hood still up when they asked me to take it down i just looked at them and they just said oh no matter keep it up. this was teachers. the students looked like they hated me allready so i kept it up.
but i guessed i could go round with my hood up all day so as i grabbed my lunch and caught sight of drake staring at me smiling patting the chair oppersit him. i started to walk over listerning to him and his mates chatting.
"bet...

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True Lies,Teen Girls(Chapter Eight)

posted by moolah

Bella’s P.O.V:
I pulled up my hair. Then took off my dress, only leaving my bra and panties on. The sexy one’s Ali bought me. About 10 minutes later I heard my cell phone ringing, “Fireflies” by Owl City. It was Alice. I immediately answered it, “Alice!” Someone chuckled, “No,” I frowned, “Edward?” “No, but its Victoria.” I screamed, “WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH THEM?” I started putting on my jeans, and put on my tank top. “I want you. I want to kill you-you killed James, and if you run, I have a army of newborns and they will kill you, Bella.” She snarled, “Victoria,...

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Dreams do come true Chapter 16

posted by Darktimes104

I'm so sorry it has been 4-ever since I last updated...I've been so busy. Tried to escape to write but, they roped me right back in. That's enough of my rambling, on to the story.

Emmett's POV:
We were woken,in one way or another, early the next morning by someone knocking at our bedroom door. I looked over to Rose who was no longer laying beside me. "Five minutes." A soft voice called from the door then left. I heard Rose in the closet. I thought she packed all her stuff last night, maybe I was wrong.
I went to my suit case and put on a button up shirt and a pair of jeans. Rose emerged from...

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A Youtube Script(Twilight) Episode One:Bashing it out

posted by moolah

Our leads in this episode, Kristen Stewart as Bella and Robert Pattinson as Edward

A Youtube Script:
Episode One:
*Bashing it out*
Bella’s P.O.V:
When life gives you lemons what do you do?
I make sacrifice.
For my friends.
My family.
My Edward…
Like Romeo and Juliet sacrificed their love for each other.
With the killing and stuff…
Anyways, I have the remote here. I’ll press play so you can see…

*One year ago*
Edward’s P.O.V:
Edward: When Bella says bye, please don’t complain.
Emmett: Yeah. Whatever, Edward.
Jasper: Like Em said.
*Two minutes later*
Bella: Why’d you do this?
Edward: Oh I didn’t.
Bella: *smacks his arm* really?
Edward: Yeah, last time I checked.
Bella: Oh just...

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Soundtrack Twilight Eclipse

posted by meizoel

Here It's The List Soundtrack Of Twilight Eclipse

1. Metric - Eclipse (All Yours)

2. Muse - Love is Forever

3. The Bravery - Ours

4. Florence And The Machine - Heavy In Your Arms

5. Sia - My Love

6. Fanfarlo - Atlas

7. The Black Keys - Chop And Charge

8. The Dead Weather - Rolling In On A Burning Tire

9. Beck & Bat For Lashes - Let's Get Lost

10. Vampire Weekend - Jonathan Low

11. Unkle feat The Black Angels - With You In My Head

12. Eastren Conference Champions - A Million Miles An Hour

13. Band Of Horses - Life On Earth

14. Cee Lo Green - What Part Of Forever

15. Howard Shore - Jacob's Theme

16. Battles - The Line

17. Bombay Bicycle Club - How Can You Swallow So Mouch Sleep

cek www.free-writing.com if u want download it

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My Moon, My Man. Chapter 7

posted by AnonymousXXX

Chapter 7! Hope you like it. Please comment!

The darkness surrounding me made me feel defenseless. I was still able to hear and feel the rain but defenseless all the same.
I heard sniffing than hot breath on my skin. The next thing I heard surprised me the most. It was a soft gentle wine. Than it disappeared altogether I know I should be feeling scarred out of my wits right but I wasn’t. I felt calm oddly and … safe.
Next I heard footsteps great now that scares me.
“Alana can you hear me? You’re okay you’re safe now I’m going to get you out of here.” I was thankful to hear Ethan’s...

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New Moon - Chapter 1 - Party (pages 16-20)

posted by 2468244

*by Stephenie Meyer*

NEW MOON - chapter 1 - PARTY

Edward sprawled across the couch
while I started the movie, fast-forwarding through the opening credits. When I perched on the edge of the sofa in front of him, he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me against his chest. It wasn't exactly as comfortable as a sofa cushion would be, what with his chest being hard and cold - and perfect - as an ice sculpture, but it was definitely preferable. He pulled the old afghan off the back of the couch and draped it over me so I wouldn't freeze beside his body.
"You know, I've never had much patience...

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a beautiful death part 9

posted by xroylex

*so what type of party is this?" i have never been to that many partys well i have but none with a guy who i only know a little bit and could i dont know be taking me to any type of paty
"its just a mates house party mum and dad is out for the weekend so he just wanted one" he shrugged
"oh"
it was half way down the street were i started to hear the tudding of music
oh god it was that type of party
"we could turn around you know i mean we dont have to go to this party i can take you home?" wow it was like he could read my mind. rememinded em of dad
"no no its just a little diffrent really i mean...

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Dreams do come true Chapter 15

posted by Darktimes104

I need to be more on top of my updating!

Emmett's POV:
Rose,Carmen, Kate, and Esme returned about two hours after they left. I ran to the door when I saw Rose but, Carmen and Kate kept me away, "You know you aren't suppose to see the wedding gown before the wedding." I stopped off annoyed. I went to sit on the couch. The annoyed feeling I felt went away when I saw the 'I think I'm going to throw up' look on Edwards face because Tanya, once again, was hanging on him. I let out a booming laugh and Edward gave me and evil glare.

Rosalie's POV:
I found the perfect dress, the straps came just below...

4

Hidden Love-Chapter Four

posted by Rose22882

I wasn't scared of them but my parents dead faces kept popping in my head. Edward looked at me sadly and stepped back.

"Think about it Bella would you really want to die" Alice asked me carefully. Truth was I was asked that quetion every month since my parents died and I knew the answer.

" No I wouldn't but I'm not afraid to die even at my own hands ." I said knowing that I didn't want to die until the men that murderd my parents were dead. Edward breathed a sigh of relief and I wanted to yell at him. He shouldn't care about me no one does they just want me dead.

" Why were you trying to sneak...

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True Lies,Teen Girls(Chapter Two)

posted by moolah

Alice,Rosalie,and Bella.Best Friends.

Alice’s P.O.V:
When we finally got done crying on each others shoulders we had to take a break from Truth or dare for like ten minutes. Bella stared out the window for that time sniffling and begging us not to think about her rape. We agreed immediately, so she felt better.
Bella sat silent for another five minutes while Rosalie and I talked about Truth or Dare questions we had in the past. When Bella finally came around we had stopped at a drugstore because she said she was thirsty. So, while Rosalie went in a bought a Crush Orange Soda. Bella looked over at me and said, “I’m sorry,...

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Gone Part 2

posted by CarlislesLover

Hey guys
This is the next part of my new fan fic.
Enjoy!!
XXX

I walked into the building which I was told is a block of apartments.
“Hi I’m Isabella Swan. I brought an apartment here” I told the woman at the reception. “That would be apartment number 16”

“Where is that sorry?”

“Go up two floors and walk down the corridor until you find number 16 on the left hand side”

“Ok thank you” I walked into the elevator and pushed the 2 button. The elevator left of in a flash which made my stomach turn. I was going to have to get used to this. The doors opened and I stepped out wobbling....

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Dreams do come true Chapter 14

posted by Darktimes104

Emmett's POV:
I was lying next to Rose on the bed, the sun was shining bright through the window causing rainbows to form on our skin. "Morning." I said kissing her softly. "Good morning." She smiled as she wrapped the sheet around herself and walked into the closet. I got up and put on a gray t-shirt and a pair of pants. Five minutes later Rose walked out of the closet wearing a dark blue dress. She had a look in her eyes that said something was wrong. "What's wrong Rose?"
"Esme, Carmen, and I were talking about getting married here but, I now I don't think I want to."
She sat down on the bed...

2

Torturing The Volturi Chapter 10

posted by lollipopszx3

Me : Oh my god! A fly monkey is about to eat me!

*that awkward cough that someone just has to do*

Me : AHH! You'll never take me alive! NEVER!! *starts running around, while hitting the air*

Jane : *whispers to Alec* Your mate's crazy.

Me : I'm not! Now begone!

Aro : I know this amazing physician that will heal you within minutes.

Me : Healed? I don't need to be healed! I need to dance! *starts doing the funky chicken*

Gianna : What is she doing??

Felix : HEY! What are you doing!?

*all turns to look as Shannon takes a pencil from his pocket*

Shannon : Nothing.... Distraction Stephanie!

Me : Look at me!...

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The first additon to the second book in the saga Lifetime. Blackout!!!

posted by smileyfaceddude

Hello and welcome to the second book in the series of the Lifetime saga (Life after breaking dawn.) Hope you enjoy!!!

Blackout

Déjà vu

Renesmee

As being half vampire, I didn't need to breathe, but, being in shcok proved otherwise though. My "captor", whom I was scared to confirm but it was,
Cynddylan Abraxis Orphee-wait no-it was a woman! She was so beautiful and exotic and divine. She had very long black hair, which on one side was wavy and hung on her shoulders, the rest tied up in a bun. And half of her forehead was taken up by her fringe which covered her eye brow. To match she wore a very...

5

Life after Breaking Dawn Part 14! (Lifetime)

posted by smileyfaceddude

Two whole days have past and no nightmares, even though it was two in the morning. In fact sleep didn’t even ‘summon’ me!
I suddenly felt the urge to go into the forest, it was so powerful. Even my instinct told me to go. I hopped down the stairs and right into the wonderful nature, I felt like in some sort drama film where the girl start to sing about how happy they are. But of course I’m not going to sing. I wondered around the forest that I knew better than the back of my hand. I walked into the field I knew so well, and all my happiness just melted and the fear grew inside me, taller...

6

Life after Breaking Dawn Part 13! (Lifetime)

posted by smileyfaceddude

Edward

“We need to sort this whole mess out.” I announced on Renesmee’s behalf. I was discombobulated. My mind searched for an answer. I turned to Jasper in the left corner of the big sitting room.
“These dreams she’s having, I have them too when I read her mind. They are awful. Cynddylan is there. He keeps asking her to join the Volturi. But they are dead. We burnt the remains of them last night.”
I felt the most confused I had ever felt. He was dead. He was gone and a pile of ashes in Volterra. I heard a glimpse of Jacob’s thoughts; he was going to stay with Renesmee. Good. He...