Twilight Series Article: Funny Twilight Quotes! :D

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posted by Renesmee_08

1) I was pale before Twilight made it cool.

2) I drive like a Cullen.

3) Jacob could BEAST f*ck me ANYTIME!!!

4) Looks at Edward...Damn he's hot, Jacob walks up...Edward who?

5) Does someone need a Jasper hug?

6) When Emmett Cullen does pushups, he doesn't push himself up; he pushes the ground down.

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Blondes may have more fun, but Edward prefers Brunettes.

8) "You're pale white...and ice cold...I know what you are" "Say it... Out loud." "A SNOWMAN!"

9) Having a pulse? ... So overrated.

10) "Are you afraid?" "No." "Then let's dance!"

11) Emmett: I have to get home for the game. Alice: They lose. Emmett: F*** you Alice! F*** YOU!

12) This may hurt just a little. *Jane squeezes Bella's wrist.*

13) "And so the hienna fell in love with the pop tart."

14) Edward makes Peeping Toms sexy.

15) Dear Jacob: I win. Sincerely, Edward.

16) Note to everyone: go to Alice's parties or she will kidnapp you and force you to go!

17) Edward can BUST my headboard, BITE my pillows, and BRUISE my body ANYDAY!

18) Do that again, and I will so give you a papercut in front of Jasper.

19) It’s all fun and games until someone gets a papercut!

20) Give blood- date a Cullen.

21) Forks: where sparkly men tell you that you smell delicious.

22) It’s thundery, which can only mean one thing. Speed dial my hunting team! We’re searching every field in a five mile radius!

23) If an Apple a day keeps the doctor away....SCREW APPLES! I WANNA SEE DR.CULLEN!

24) You don’t like Twilight? That’s okay. It’s ok if I stick your head in a blender as well, right?

25) I’m sorry, did you say something? It didn’t sound Twilight related, so I wasn’t paying attention.

26) Well they do say diamonds are a girl’s best friend, and dogs are mans’ best friend!

27) My room is Edward-proof. Freshly greased window so it won’t stick, brand new pillows and high central heating. I even have that rocking chair he loves...

28) Who needs a boyfriend? We have Twilight.

29) I so don’t understand this whole ‘Edward or Jacob. Who’s hotter?’ thing. I mean we all know the real question is Jasper or Emmett. Who’s colder and sexier?

30) Roses are red. Violets are blue. I love Twilight. So should you.

31) Screw Santa, I want Edward Cullen to come down my chimney!

32) Eat->Sleep->Read Twilight->Watch Twilight->Repeat.

33)I wonder if Edward and his family knew when Bella was on her period? Hmm... pretty embarrassing...

34) Some find Edward Cullen romantic. However, if he looked his actual age, would you think it romantic for an old, haggard, 110 year old man to be sneaking into an 18 year old girl's room to watch her sleep?

35) I can live without food, but I can’t do without my daily dose of Twilight.

36) Who needs a life? I have Twilight.

37) I'm not sleeping till I get a piggy back from Emmett!

38) Loreal Jasper- Because you're worth it

39) When Life Gives You Lemons, THROW THEM BACK AND DEMAND FOR EDWARD CULLEN!!!

40) If i get sick take me to Dr Cullen

41) Edward Cullen: The Other White Meat

42) Keep Calm and Love Twilight

43) Oh Hale No!

44) I didn't get my letter to Hogwarts, so I'm moving to Forks instead.

45) Forget a knight in shining armor, I want a vampire in shiny Volvo!

46) Team Edward, except when Jacob is shirtless...

47) Unconditionally and irrevocably Twilight obsessed.

mr-cullen, BloodyObsession and 1 other like this

Elle-C This was truly hilarious -- thanks for posting!

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Dark Moon Chapter 15 ( BPOV)

posted by GothicGirl0525

End of Chapter 14:
“Your right love I would do anything in my power to keep you two alive. You shouldn’t be sorry you’re doing what’s best. Just be careful please. Anything my love.” He said. I could tell he knows already what I’m going to ask but I’m going to do it anyway.
“If I do die I want you to take of Neisse. Move on. I don’t want you to soak or anything I want you to be there for her. She is going to understand everything but she want understand that it’s not her fought I want you to be able to live with her forever. I don’t want you to do...

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My True Love Chapter 6. Nessies point of veiw

posted by Twilightsauce

Hey..x
I am incredibly proud of this peice ( I never though it was possible for me to write this much in a day!) let me know if you agree.
Twilightsauce

Training was hard but incredibly fun much to mum and dad’s dislike. Kate had helped me like she had my mum and Emmet and Jasper were teaching me tactics.
“Okay Emmet, I’m ready to go again!” I called after he had managed to floor me for the sixteenth time. As I slipped into a low crouch I flashed Esme a huge grin, I had hardly got to spend any alone time with her since we arrived in Denali, what with the sadistic vampire and me being sedated....

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A Twilight Hater's Review of New Moon

posted by shieldmaiden

The wolf clan was kinda awesome, except for the crappy animation and the fact that they're allergic to shirts.

Okay, I'll admit that I haven't laughed this hard at a film since I saw The Hangover last summer. Seriously, what was the plot here? I actually found the first film to be much better than this travesty. You can find my review of the first movie link. I'll go through it like I do with all movies. Pros and cons, then an overall.

Pros

The Volturi

Finally! Some ACTUAL vampires!! The Volturi I found were pretty awesome because, you know, they actually were cruel, soulless, mean, and did some actual VAMPIRING. The part towards the end where a tour group of humans is led directly to them and you hear...

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Twilight - Chapter 1 - First Sight (pages 23-28)

posted by 2468244

*by Stephenie Meyer*

TWILIGHT - chapter 1 - FIRST SIGHT

When we entered the classroom, Angela went to sit at a black-topped lab table exactly like the ones I was used to. She already had a neighbor. In fact, all the tables were filled but one. Next to the center aisle, I recognized Edward Cullen by his unusual hair, sitting next to that single open seat.
As I walked down the aisle to introduce myself to the teacher and get my slip signed, I was watching him surreptitiously. Just as I passed, he suddenly went rigid in his seat. He stared at me again, meeting my eyes with the strangest expression...

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Twilight - Chapter 1 - First Sight (pages 8-11)

posted by 2468244

*by Stephanie Meyer*

TWILIGHT - chapter 1 - FIRST SIGHT

It was beautiful, of course; I couldn't deny that. Everything was green: the trees, their trunks covered in moss, their branches hanging with a canopy of it, the ground covered with ferns. Even the air filtered down greenly through the leaves.
It was too green - an alien planet.
Eventually we made it to Charlie's. He still lived in the small, two-bedroom house that he'd bought with my mother in the early days of their marriage. Those were the only kind of days their marriage had - the early ones. There parked on the street in front of the...

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Death is for Immortals (Sequel to Life is for Living)--Title Credit: KatiiCullen94

posted by alicecullenrox1

Death is for Immortals (Sequel to Life is for Living)--Title Credit: KatiiCullen94

Chapter 1- Waking Up

I opened my eyes. Was I dead? Whatever I was...... dead or alive. Something was different. I remembered the sound of rushing wind as I had quickly moved downward, away from the safe and stable ground. I remembered the feeling of sickness in the pit of my stomach. I suddenly hadn't wanted so badly to die.

Suddenly I heard two males speaking in another room. "She's awake," one of them announced. His voice, I didn't recognize. There was something about it though that seemed vaugely familiar....

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Twilight - Preface

posted by 2468244

hi i'm going to post Stephenie Meyer's THE TWILIGHT SAGA :) this is for anyone who's never read it and wants to know what it's about or if u just want to read it again :) i'm doing this cuz before i owned it i wanted to read it but obviously couldn't. so if you're too eager to wait to buy it, you can read it now! *by Stephenie Meyer*

Twilight - preface

I'd never given much thought to how I would die - though I'd had reason enough in the last few months - but even if I had, I would not have imagined it like this.
I stared without breathing across the long room, into the dark eyes of the hunter,...

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The Darkening ( Alternative Version of Eclipse) Chapter 3 -Questions Answered.

posted by paniclover21

Bella

Best time of the day: seventh period five minutes left until the bell rings. I sat in my desk next to Edward, tapping my foot nervously. He reached over and put his hand on my leg to stop it.

“ Are you anxious for some reason?” He wondered
His hand lingered on my thigh.

“You’ll find out soon enough.” I said grinning to myself. His eyebrows pushed together, and I laughed out loud.

He grinned-removed his arm from my leg- but remained suspicious.

The final bell rang, and I let out a sigh of relief. He led me to his car where Alice joined us. “We can go shopping next week. Jaz and I have...

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My True Love Chapter 1. Nessies Point of Veiw

posted by Twilightsauce

Hey guys. I have begun writing this book from Nessies point of veiw. I hope you enjoy. Please leave any comments. I will post the next chapter soon!

I will never age again. I can stay with my family forever. I can stay with Jacob forever, I thought to myself as I watched the stars from the huge glass wall in Esme’s beautifully design sitting room. I can end my human life now; it’s time to start my vampire one.
I hardly noticed when Jacob slid his arm over my shoulder.
“Happy Birthday,” he whispered in my ear, “why don’t you come and join in the festivities, Emmet’s made a great...

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The New Vampire: Ch. 2; Ariella's POV

posted by twilightrox43

Ariella

They all stare at me like I'm some Greek god. I just don't feel comfortable here. I had agreed to join their coven, and the first thing I heard was a giggle from the kid... Renesmee, was it? It was like she wanted me here. That vision of hers was amazing and beautiful. But it looked like... me. It had the face of a thousand angels... did I really look that nice? "So where did you come from?" Carlisle asked. Alice and Jasper were gone somewhere, whoever they were. I didn't answer Carlisle's question. He didn't try again. Taking in everything at once was impossible. I darted out the door without...

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The New Vampire: Bella's POV

posted by twilightrox43

This is probably gonna suck so please dont hate me LOL.:)

As Edward and I were out hunting, I saw what looked like some strange animal. What was that? Without a chance to say anything, Edward spoke up. "Let's go." He suddenly zoomed toward the site and I followed, catching up quickly. As we got closer, the image morphed, creating a body kneeled over a mountain lion. A vampire. Edward looked confused. He had never seen her before. Neither had I. Her eyes were a reddish-orange. A newborn. Instead of running away, she walked straight up to us with a spring in her step. She was very graceful even...

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Bella's Secret Sister from the Future Chapter 4

posted by cici1264

Renesmee ( Taylor )

1 Year and 5 months later....

I was running away from my problems by running from Forks. I didn't know where we were going. All I could think about was Jacob. I had told him everything, and even showed everything about the future I came from. Showing him every thing made him realize that what Daniel and I was telling him the truth about every single thing. He might have already told the pack about what we told him. Every time I closed my eyes all I could see was Jacob. The expression he had after I told him my secret. He looked upset but also relived to finally know what was going on.

But...

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Bedroom Confessions by JandMsMommy

posted by JandMsMommy

Hello Everyone! I'm bringing another story that I just posted tonight called Bedroom Confessions! I'm posting the link, hoping you will take a look at it. This story is for mature audiences only as it contains violence and murder.

Summary: Edward was investigating the perfect murder. Part of his job was to protect the only witness's identity from the murderer. But can he control his feelings for her, and can he handle the secrets she hides? AH/AU;E/B

If you like this one, make sure to check out the other stories listed on my profile! Thanks, and I hope you enjoy it!

Link---> link

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Bella's Future Without Edward

posted by AliceRoxx

This is Bella dwelling on how her life turned out. It is supposed to be if Alice never saw her jump off the cliff, so they didn't go to the Volturi, Edward is still alive somewhere but she hasn't seen any of the Cullens since her disastrous birthday party. Enjoy!

“Goodnight Mama!”

“Goodnight sweetie, I’ll see you bright and early in the morning, ready for fishing with Grandpa ok? Love you”

I hugged and kissed my two, adorable children and wished them goodnight.

Oh, how big they were getting! Ben was almost eight! How I loved our little Ben, just like his father. The same sun-kissed,...

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Issue 4: Random Twilight Sayings x

posted by AliceRoxx

An Edward sketch x Love it x And it's not meant to look like RPatz, it was the fans' own version of Edward! x

For all you guys that have been waiting, here's Issue 4! I don't know if it's as good as the others, it;s getting hard to come up with ideas! Please comment and tell which topics/specific ones are your favourites so I can make them better! Love you!

-Bella and Edward should sooo not be together. I thought Bella didn’t like anything cold and wet? Well Edward is certainly ice cold, and he is so soppy he could be the King of wetness.

I so don’t understand why people like Robert Pattinson more than Taylor Lautner, but hey I’m not complaining, it means more Tay-Tay for me-me!

“Ouch, a papercut”...

All about Twilight series (short)

posted by Tenkic

Twilight
Main article: Twilight (novel)

Bella Swan moves from Phoenix, Arizona to live with her father in Forks, Washington to allow her mother to travel with her new husband, a minor league baseball player. After moving to Forks, Bella finds herself involuntarily drawn to a mysterious, handsome boy, Edward Cullen. She eventually learns that he is a member of a vampire family who drinks animal blood rather than human. Edward and Bella fall in love, but James, a sadistic vampire from another vampire coven, is drawn to hunt down Bella. Edward and the other Cullens defend Bella. She escapes to Phoenix,...

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Kayla's Visions, Chapter 20

posted by twilight-7

The threat of Mitchell appearing at any moment to kill us dangled over our heads for the next few weeks. My wedding was coming ever closer and although Rosalie, Alice, Esme and I all poured our hearts into preparing, we knew it probably wouldn’t ever happen. I really did want to marry Edward. I wanted to be his wife and with every day that passed I was getting closer to it but it felt as if I was being teased. As if Mitchell was watching me, letting me get nearer and nearer the date and then he was going to appear and kill me just as it was in reach.
Tess became unbearable. She never left...

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When Worlds Collide by JandMsMommy

posted by JandMsMommy

This is a Fanfic I'm working on, called When Worlds Collide. I'm posting the link, hoping everybody will give it a chance.
It has over 10,000 views and almost 300 reviews so far!
In my story, Edward is a smart over achiever, Emmett is in jail, and Bella is a mysterious next door neighbor with some issues.
Edward has to decide if he's going to risk everything for Bella, or if he's going to continue to please everybody around him and forget about her.
It's E/B AU-AH with heavy drama. I hope you take a look at at!!

LINK---> link

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My Fave part of twilight Edwards POV

posted by Alex_XcullenX

“Step on it, Emmett,” I growled through clenched teeth. My hands gripped the passenger seat armrests as Emmett sped through the streets of Phoenix. Carlisle, Alice, and Jasper were sitting in the back seat.
Every muscle in my body was tense. If Bella was hurt, if that monster made one move against her . . . When I had arrived at the airport with Carlisle and Emmett, and Alice had told me Bella had vanished, I had prayed that she wasn't going anything stupid, prayed that she had only gone back to the hotel for some reason.
But I knew Bella. She wouldn't have left that airport until I arrived....

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America's Next Top Model Winner Walked Away From Robert Pattinson

posted by AnaRoseCullen

LOL,I read this in one article :
"Winning the 13th Cycle of America's Next Top Model didn't really change Nicole Fox all that much, because she still remains as awkward as ever. Especially when stumbling upon stars like Robert Pattinson. Caught backstage, Hollywood hotshot a few steps away, what would Bloody Eyeball do?

The CW Source cites a news report from E! Online with this answer: she just bowed her head and walked away. Well, we couldn't possibly expect the dorky redhead to squeal in delight.

Petite model Nicole Fox had just made an appearance at Regis & Kelly when she went behind the...