Twilight Series Article: Funny Twilight Quotes! :D

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posted by Renesmee_08

1) I was pale before Twilight made it cool.

2) I drive like a Cullen.

3) Jacob could BEAST f*ck me ANYTIME!!!

4) Looks at Edward...Damn he's hot, Jacob walks up...Edward who?

5) Does someone need a Jasper hug?

6) When Emmett Cullen does pushups, he doesn't push himself up; he pushes the ground down.

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Blondes may have more fun, but Edward prefers Brunettes.

8) "You're pale white...and ice cold...I know what you are" "Say it... Out loud." "A SNOWMAN!"

9) Having a pulse? ... So overrated.

10) "Are you afraid?" "No." "Then let's dance!"

11) Emmett: I have to get home for the game. Alice: They lose. Emmett: F*** you Alice! F*** YOU!

12) This may hurt just a little. *Jane squeezes Bella's wrist.*

13) "And so the hienna fell in love with the pop tart."

14) Edward makes Peeping Toms sexy.

15) Dear Jacob: I win. Sincerely, Edward.

16) Note to everyone: go to Alice's parties or she will kidnapp you and force you to go!

17) Edward can BUST my headboard, BITE my pillows, and BRUISE my body ANYDAY!

18) Do that again, and I will so give you a papercut in front of Jasper.

19) It’s all fun and games until someone gets a papercut!

20) Give blood- date a Cullen.

21) Forks: where sparkly men tell you that you smell delicious.

22) It’s thundery, which can only mean one thing. Speed dial my hunting team! We’re searching every field in a five mile radius!

23) If an Apple a day keeps the doctor away....SCREW APPLES! I WANNA SEE DR.CULLEN!

24) You don’t like Twilight? That’s okay. It’s ok if I stick your head in a blender as well, right?

25) I’m sorry, did you say something? It didn’t sound Twilight related, so I wasn’t paying attention.

26) Well they do say diamonds are a girl’s best friend, and dogs are mans’ best friend!

27) My room is Edward-proof. Freshly greased window so it won’t stick, brand new pillows and high central heating. I even have that rocking chair he loves...

28) Who needs a boyfriend? We have Twilight.

29) I so don’t understand this whole ‘Edward or Jacob. Who’s hotter?’ thing. I mean we all know the real question is Jasper or Emmett. Who’s colder and sexier?

30) Roses are red. Violets are blue. I love Twilight. So should you.

31) Screw Santa, I want Edward Cullen to come down my chimney!

32) Eat->Sleep->Read Twilight->Watch Twilight->Repeat.

33)I wonder if Edward and his family knew when Bella was on her period? Hmm... pretty embarrassing...

34) Some find Edward Cullen romantic. However, if he looked his actual age, would you think it romantic for an old, haggard, 110 year old man to be sneaking into an 18 year old girl's room to watch her sleep?

35) I can live without food, but I can’t do without my daily dose of Twilight.

36) Who needs a life? I have Twilight.

37) I'm not sleeping till I get a piggy back from Emmett!

38) Loreal Jasper- Because you're worth it

39) When Life Gives You Lemons, THROW THEM BACK AND DEMAND FOR EDWARD CULLEN!!!

40) If i get sick take me to Dr Cullen

41) Edward Cullen: The Other White Meat

42) Keep Calm and Love Twilight

43) Oh Hale No!

44) I didn't get my letter to Hogwarts, so I'm moving to Forks instead.

45) Forget a knight in shining armor, I want a vampire in shiny Volvo!

46) Team Edward, except when Jacob is shirtless...

47) Unconditionally and irrevocably Twilight obsessed.

mr-cullen, BloodyObsession and 1 other like this

Elle-C This was truly hilarious -- thanks for posting!

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Breaking Dawn {My take} Breaking Fast Ch. 7

posted by rose12345

"Alright Brother." The shape shifters all gather under one roof. "The time has come to put an end to this curse! We have had to deal with this same cycle for centuries and quite frankly I'm sick and tired of being a dog." There was a Roar in the crowd, everyone there felt the same way. "So it is time to take control, we must get rid of the stupid leaches." Gabriel said, "Once and for all!" Everyone erupted, the only people who didn't feel the same were the people in Jacob's Pack. "We must strike them where it hurts most the Volturi Coven! They are the glue that holds all vampires together with...

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Love Story: Chapter 6. You're Beautiful

posted by DWLoverTBCEDT

Author's Chapter Notes:
I own two copies of Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn, and I am dieing for the BD trailer in a couple weeks. Other than that, I don't own anything, it's not mine other my own crazy mind.

Thanks agian to my awesome reviewers! I wouldn't ahve gotten this far with you. Also thanks to my beta State of Delusion, for fixing my errors. My thanks also goes out to HEAR and AnthroBug for their help as well. Okay, enough of me talking, go read.

Chapter 6

You're Beautiful

You're beautiful, it's true.

I saw your face in a crowded place,

And I don't know what to do,

‘Cause...

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The Un-Wanted Girl.[Renesmee Cullen's Twin Sister]Chapter 1

posted by renesmee567

The Nameless Girl's PoV
Renesmee was getting measured. Again. They measured her 4 times a day, they never measured me.No one even spared a glance at me, I just watched longingly as they fawned over my twin sister. I had yet to see my mother at all and I've only caught glances at my father, he was too busy with mother or Renesmee.
It had only been a few days since our birth, 2 to be exact, going on our3rd day. I'm way ahead ofmy twin, I mayhave the same sized body,but I can walk and talk already, not that I have anyone to talk to. I also figured outI have a power.I can teleportto any place I have...

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Edward and Bella's honeymoon. Edward's POV chapter18

posted by halunik

!!!!!!!!!WARNING!!!!! ONLY FOR ADULTS!!!!!!

“I’ll have to buy Esme a new bed frame,” I confessed, glancing over my shoulder. She followed my gaze and I saw shock on her face. Didn’t she notice that at night? Me, destroying a bad, made a lot of noise. But actually, our attention was involved in some other activity.
“Hmm. You’d think I would have heard that.”
“You seem to be extraordinarily unobservant when your attention is otherwise involved.”
“I was a bit absorbed,” She admitted, blushing a deep red, I felt the warms of her skin and her heartbeat accelerated again. She was...

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Breaking Dawn {my take} saving Bella part two ch. five

posted by rose12345

"Let her go Aro!" Edward yelled, Aro smiled at him, "Sadly I can't do that my friend." Jacob stepped up "and why the hell can't you?" Aro smile turned into a sneer "because she has something that can be of use to me." Jacob ran for Aro, and Jane stepped in the way "Pain". Just like that Jacob dropped to the floor in Agony, "JAKE!" Bella yelled "let him go!" She said, but no one payed her no mind.
"What.The.Hell.Are.You.Doing.to.me." Jacob manged between clenched teeth, "Aro stop this, this is not necessary." Carlisle said Aro held up his hand and Jake stopped twitching on the ground. "Now,...

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Twilight: Kristen Stewart and Cam Gigandet translated interview

posted by mandynight

I personally translated it, so bear with any errors. lol
____________________

Kristen and Cam interview by "Crepúsculo-es"

Q: What do you most like about your character?
- Kristen: What I most like about Bella is that she's not your typical fragile girl. Bella is strong, even it not showing as much when she's next to all those vampires.
- Cam: For me it's the fact that James can see the love Edward and Bella share, but doesn't understand it and does everything to destroy it. I think that's something we all do. We try to destroy things we don't understand.

Q: Have you read the books? Did you read...

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Edward and Bella's honeymoon. Edward's POV chapter 8

posted by halunik

!!!!!!!!!WARNING!!!!! ONLY FOR ADULTS!!!!!!

hello, friends. Thank you all for your comments and support. it means a lot for me. Thank you very much.

“What’s funny?” I asked. My voice was rough and betrayed my mood. She didn’t answer and I heard her stomach growled. Oh my…she was hurt, and finally she was hungry too. I felt her face blushed and her heartbeat accelerated. What did it mean? I couldn’t guess.
I waited for her to speak. She laughed again.
“You just can’t escape being human for very long.” I couldn’t understand her mood. She was supposed to be angry…well, she was...

MATH VS. VAMPIRES: VAMPIRES LOSE

posted by milicac

If vampires—corpses that rise up to suck the blood of the living—sound biologically implausible to you, you’re not alone. They exist purely in legend, as virtually all scientists agree.

But for any vampire believers undissuaded by biological facts, a professor has come up with a second proof of their unreality, using math.

If vampires ever existed in the forms in which movies and books portray them, they would have quickly wiped out humanity long ago, according to physics professor Costas Efthimiou of the University of Central Florida in Orlando, Fla.
Popular lore passed down through...

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Edward and Bella's honeymoon. Edward's POV chapter 7

posted by halunik

!!!!!!!!!WARNING!!!!! ONLY FOR ADULTS!!!!!!

Hello friends. Thank you for your support.
And hope, that you'll like the other chapter.

Sorry for not posting for so long. I was totally busy.

I heard her breathing accelerated. in a second I was beside her. I smelled sweat. Here was too hot for her. I lied down and pressed her to me. She opened her eyes for a second and closed them with a slight smile.
The night was close to the end. I heard the birds started singing, the whole nature waking up. The sky became lighter before the dawn. My anger was worn up and I felt empty. I wanted to give Bella everything,...

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The Memoir of a Wolf's Daughter Chap 5

posted by NeeNee14

I walked into a room with a bunch thirteen and fourteen year olds. They sat down on the floor. Justin and I introduced ourselves as Ms.T and Mr.J. We taught them some basics and and played some games.
"Okay everyone, have a seat." I waited for them to sit down and be quiet." At the end of this camp, we will hold a showcase, so you can show what you learned; you can do it individually or in a group of four." I said.
"And the thing about Krumping is that you can add your own twist once you know the basics, Like Ms.T used to do Ballet, so sometimes, you may see her doing Ballet tricks." he said....

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emmett cullen love story chapter 1

posted by karpach_13

Emmett love story chapter 1
You have lived with the Cullens because your parents were killed in a car accident when you were about 2. You were adopted by Carlisle and Esme. So you have known about their secret. You were closest to Edward and Alice than Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie. When you started high school you guys moved to Forks, Washington. You grabbed the last bag out of the moving van and went up the stairs and you tripped on a rock. You heard a roar of laughter.
You: Emmett you are such a pathetic guy.
Emmett: Oh really? Look at who is on the ground.
Edward: Here I will help you up.
Edward...

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Changed Plans (Bella's Pov) Chapter 7

posted by rubytuesday101

I sat down on the sofa and so did edward,He sat down right beside me.After a while i drifted off to sleep,i dont know when i woke up but it was really dark.Then i noticed my head was on edward's shoulder,when i was asleep i must have leaned on him.I looked at edward he seemed comfortable and happy really happy,i took my head off edwards shoulder and looked at him.
"Your awake"he said smiling that dazzleing smile,he had dazzled me one again.
"Ya,i was really tired sorry"i said getting akeward.
"Its okay i didnt mind"he said smiling even wider.
"Of corse you didnt"i said and he laughed a bit i looked...

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New Moon - Chapter 3 - The End (pages 53-55)

posted by 2468244

*by Stephenie Meyer*

NEW MOON - chapter 3 - THE END

I felt absolutely hideous in the morning. I hadn’t slept well; my arm burned and my head ached. It didn’t help me outlook that Edward’s face was smooth and remote as he kissed my forehead quickly and ducked out my window. I was afraid of the time I’d spent unconscious, afraid that he might have been thinking about right and wrong again while he watched me sleep. The anxiety seemed to ratchet up the intensity of the pounding in my head.
Edward was waiting for me at school, as usual, but his face was still wrong. There was something buried...

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~Ever After 6~

posted by LexisFaith

Sorry if it's a bit long :/ I get carried away lol
Hope you LOVE!!!
__________________________________________________
"Wait." Alice stood perfectly still, "He told her?" She pointed to the baby.
"That's what she said." Jake stood frozen. Almost as still as Alice.
"You think she could have gotten some kind of. . . power?" I asked Alice. "Even though she's human?"
She shrugged, her brows furrowed in conentration. "Maybe. I'm not sure. Maybe you should talk to Carlisle."
"Yea," I agreed. "We will when we get back. I'm starved."
Jacob finally thawed out and turned to me. "Me, too." He took my hand and...

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Why the Twilight saga should be watched at home, alone.

posted by robin931009

As I removed the New moon-disc from my dvd-player, I thought to myself: Maybe I shouldn't see Eclipse in theaters?

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love Twilight and want to see Eclipse as soon as possible. The thing is, when I was first introduced to the series, it was through the first film. I had rented it and didn't know what it was. I sat alone in my room with a glass of coke and watched it late at night. I was instantly hooked. I couldn't get over how incredibly interesting it all was; the story, the characters and above all the books i hadn't yet read. I quickly hurried to my computer...

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Blackout!!! Part 5

posted by smileyfaceddude

Cynddylan

I tried to numb the pain for Bella with my gift, tried to influence her to not feel the pain. I was doing anything and everything I could to help try and save my life. “Son, I think he’s genuinely innocent. Would you at least try for Bella?” The blonde vampire named Carlisle convinced hypnotically. Edward just stared at him and then at the delirious Bella and then at Carlisle again. He frowned at him in a God-I-wish-you-hadn’t-said-that way. He concentrated for a minute. “JACOB! Put him down!” Edward told the savage which was trying to suffocate me, he obeyed reluctantly,...

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breaking dawn book 2 chapter 8 edward pov

posted by xroylex

me and jacob stood staring at each other for a while ontil alice flittered from the house to the purch after staring at jacob she darted to jaspers side. rose must be with bella garding her and as jacobs thoughts went i agreeed from the wrong dangers.
"this isnt the first time i have owed you my gratitude jacob i would never of asked this from you" i told him.
he thought about it for a while and then `yeah you would` hmm.. maybe that was true i would do anything to save bella from anything encluding what i myself have done to her.
"i suppose your right about that" i let him have that one.
he...

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True Lies,Teen Girls(Chapter Five)

posted by moolah

Bella tells Edward Alice is babysitting him;While Bella get ready for his suprise!

Alice’s P.O.V:
It felt great that me and Bella made up a little. But as Bella says, ‘We still have to deal with the bitch.’
When Chief Swan picked us up we crowded into the back of the cruiser, “Thanks dad.” “You girls are welcome.” I was nervous to be seen with Bella and have to fakely argue with her but so far we were doing okay. I guess.
When we got to Bella’s house Bella dragged me into her bedroom. When we got into her room we saw Edward. He was sprawled across her bed engaged in a book. When Bella walked in he shot up, and looked over at me. “Alice,” he started. “Edward…”...

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Not Possible (Bella's pov) Chapter 2

posted by rubytuesday101

"Why are you leaving?" i asked him "I just have to go"he said back to me."You cant leave me"i cried back to him "Bella i dont want you".It was like he had slapped me in the face."You.Dont.Love.Me","No"was all he said.His voice sounded hard and cold."What was last night then?"he didnt say anything he just turned his head away from me so i couldnt see his face.Then i realized what happened,i was nothing i was a girl that was not scared of him.So he took his chance,i was used.That thought made me fall and i landed on my butt,he used me he was lying all this time and last night.Something twisted...

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Jacob's one true love

posted by shingkai

Today is my daughter’s wedding day; she finally decided to marry the werewolf we all love.

Renesmee’s wedding will be held at the reservation and everyone was worried, at first Rosalie, emmet and jasper strongly disagree to what Renesmee was planning but Edward and Seth reassure them that everything is going to be fine so we reluctantly consider.

I know I should be happy but I don’t understand why I am feeling so sad, maybe because I miss my Jacob. I never told Renesmee about the werewolf I used to love, I thought it’s no longer important but she has the right to know after all I have...