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posted by milorox18
1. I love the way we finish each other’s sentences.

2. I love the way I know you’ll never give up on me.

3. I love the fact that I wouldn’t ever give up on you.

4. I love the way you look at me.

5. I love how beautiful your eyes are.

6. I love the way I can’t imagine a day without you in my life.

7. I love the way if we were ever separated I wouldn’t know how to go on.

8. I love the way we cuddle and watch sunsets together.

9. I love the way we sometimes stay up all night and just talk, then watch the sunrise together.

10. I love how I know you’ll always be there when I need you to be.

11....
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1. Angus is for a beefy yet cute boyfriend, or to bolster up the woefully sagging self-esteem of a weak, pasty face limb noodle who does your homework for you.

2. Babe - is a classic cute boyfriend nickname that will only get you in a slight amount of trouble in front of his friends. ( i call mine this)

3. Baby Boo Boo - is for a boyfriend that you'd like to castrate slowly by giving him effeminate names.

4. Bunny-kins - means you're cousins and will be humping like bunnies at the next family wedding.

5. Bunny Wabbit - you may as well stroke his belly with a coonskin cap and feed him grapes when...
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DEMENTED POEMS

Roses are crap
Violets are shit
Sit on my face
And wiggle a bit

Roses are stupid
Violets are silly
Grease up your flaps
Cuz here comes my willy

Roses are awful
Violets are the pits
Lift up your shirt
And show me your tits

Roses make me laugh
Violets make me titter
You're a dirty bitch
And you love it up the shitter

Roses are straight
Violets are twisted
Bend over love
You're about to get fisted

Roses are crap
Violets are wanky
Oooh I've just cum
Pass me a hanky

Roses are red
It's elementary
Let's ring your best friend
And try double entry

Roses are shit
Violets are crap
Show me your clit
And I'll cum in your lap

Roses are red
Skidmarks are brown
Give me a blow job
And swallow it down

Roses are groovy
Violets are funky
I'm thinking of you
And spanking my monkey
1.Do not introduce self as roleplaying character in public.
2.Do not talk to fictional characters in public.
3.Do not answer fictional characters in public.
4.Do not talk to inanimate objects in public.
5.Do not go out in public.
6.Disregard above note.Perform numbers 1 to 4.
7.Note expressions.
8.Don't die alone. Take many people with you.
9.Floor is slippery when wet.
10.Lake is slippery when dry.
11.Only talk to strangers you know.
12.Strangers you don't know are spies... Kill them all.
13.For legal purposes be sure to delete above note.
14.Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.
15.Kill...
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posted by Bubblekat
1. Go around stores, pick up items and yell out really loudly "Who buys this CRAP anyway?!"

2. Get a cart, get on the bar below the bar you grip, and push it down the isle, extra points for running into something or someone

3. Go up to a random person and say "you have pretty eyes, may I have your eyes?!" and hear to see what they say

4. Laugh randomly

5. If someones talking on a cellphone Go closer to them and start maki random noises to disturb them, extra points if they hang up

6. If your near a fountain run to it and start splashing in it

7. If your mom starts nagging to you in public about the...
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1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/ friends.. .
Stupid Question:-
Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:-
Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet…
Stupid Question:-
Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-
No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia.. …why don’t you try again.

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask…
Stupid Question:-
Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-
Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-
Is ! the “Butter Paneer Masala”...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
my friend sent me this text message a while ago and i thought it was hilarious!!!




i need to ask you somethingand i want you to be totally honest with me. it may be awkward between us after this but i have to kow how you feel... I've kept it in for a while now but now it's time to be straight up and just confront you. i hope this doesn't ruin anything we have, i just need to know and i dont see any other way i could get over this. it just doesn't seem fair if i dont gett an answer. i want you to tell me truthfully, please no matter how harsh it is. i just want your hoest opinion...

Pepsi or Coke?



Ha ha ha ha !!!
Funny.
added by adultswimperson
Source: Google
I found this hilarious article on pcworld.com
Don't know who the author is, but he's funny.

1. Backward Thinking
"I sold my only car to help pay for gas money, but now gas has come down in price. How do I get my car back?"
I tried to contact this guy, but it turns out that he also sold his computer to help pay for his Internet connection.

2. It's Caps Lock--Capisce?
"HOW DO I TURN OFF CAPSLOCK? I ACCIDENTALLY TURNED IT ON YESTERDAY AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO TURN IT BACK OFF."
Note to self: Register howtoturnoffcapslock.com; make millions.

3. Credit Crunch
"I wanted to see if my computer would read my...
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added by XxKeithHarkinxX
Source: google
posted by Sheetal1256
Here are some funny New Year's resolutions for 2012...
I will think of a password other than "password" or "hello".

I will not tell the same story at every get together.

I won't worry so much.

I will cut my hair.

I will grow my hair.

I will stop considering other people's feelings when they so obviously don't consider mine - if that unwashed fellow sits next to me again, I'll tell him he stinks!

I will be more imaginative.

I will not bore my boss by with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some more excuses.

I will do less laundry and use more deodorant.

I will avoid taking a bath whenever...
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Give my regards to broadway. o-O

*Insert epic theme song here*

Alright, I'm pretty sure we all know who Spongebob is. The show was a funny, crazy, and inventive kids show that pretty much EVERYBODY ALIVE has at least heard of.

The show had memorable characters, funny comedy that everyone can enjoy, and.......

CHOCOLAAAAAAAAAATEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! ^____^

But one of my favorite parts of the show was the songs, and today we're counting down the best of them!

BECAUSE NOBODY CAN SING BETTER THAN A TALKING SPONGE. ;D

#10. Striped Sweater!

link

Shots fired.

Seriously, this is EASILY the stupidest song on this...
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added by Juilet1234
posted by flippy_fan210
Some of you might have heard of the game Facade. those of you who have, you probably wonder why they hate Melons so much. well, this is my theory.
_____________________-_____________________
Trip and Grace used to live in a normal home, no fancy apartment. they had a child, Phoebe. she...really liked melons.

she bought one when she was 5 and never let anyone eat it. they let her keep it. one day, she said "i want a cat". it was totally out of the blue, but they said yes, she got a little black cat and named him Ivan. she really loved him. one day, she took Ivan up to her room. she came down,...
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posted by Bluekait
French Fries are deep fried in horse oil in France.

Kittens are born with blue eyes, but change when they get older.

People born in November are more likely to become serial killers.

Everything you see is actually upside down and your brain just flips it around.

You can't actually multi-task.

Easily distracted people are the ones who are the most creative.

When a person appears in your dreams, that person misses you.

Music can lead teens to depression.

You are more likely to dream when you are depressed.

Your odor is as unique as your fingerprint.

If you tear off paper from bottles, you are sexually...
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posted by Usui--takumi
Why was Tigger looking in the bowl??
He was trying to find pooh.
There were three men on an airplane, one of them decides to bring a baby.There is a crash and only three parachutes so they leave the baby behind. When they get to the bottom they hear screaming. They find the baby on the ground. The dad of the baby says, '' How did you get down here? ''. The baby replies, '' Me not dumb, me not silly, me hold on to daddy's willy!''
What's black and white, black and white, black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
Yo momma so fat, when she jumps her own boobs slap her.
Yo momma so dumb AND fat,...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
Welcome to The Weakest Link.

Here is a very simple little test comprised of four questions to determine the level of your intellect. Your replies must be spontaneous and immediate, with no deliberating or wasting time.

And NO CHEATING. On your mark, set....GO!!!

1: You are competing in a race, and overtake the runner in second place.
In which position are you now?

Answer:

If you answered that you're now coming first then you're completely wrong. You overtook the second runner and took their place, therefore you're coming second.

For the next question try not to be so dumb.

2 : If you overtake the last...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
a boy was asked by his teacher to pick some spelling words for his homework. the boy goes home and asks his mum "what's a good spelling word?" and the mother replies " Shutup, i'm busy", so he writes it down.
he goes to his dad and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and the dad replies "da na na na Batman!" so he writes it down.
next he goes to his older sister and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and she replies "yeah yeah" so the boy writes it down.
he goes to his younger sister and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and she replies "lollipop, lollipop" so he writes it down.
Finally he goes...
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posted by invadercalliope
•Everyone in this place is unhappy. And since they're unhappy, they're probably looking for someone worse off than they are.
•You know who isn't human? You know who isn't human?! PEOPLE LIKE YOU!
•Up to this day, I've never killed a single human.
•You will never see me again.
•I was going to let you go; after all, there aren't many of us out there, but you're just such a pain in the ass.
•Please forget about everything.
•Are you enjoying this?
Kouta: "I thought we were friends."

Lucy: "We are friends, that's why you're still alive."

Kouta: "You killed my father, Kanae.. and my sister Kanae... For that I will never forgive you."
Lucy: "All this time, I've lived in hope of telling you how sorry I am, I've fought armies, just to have this chance, but now, there's nothing I can say that's good enough."

Kurama: "Regret is the domain of those who have earned the right to look back on the past. All I have is shame."
The End
What's your personality type?

Picks/Polls
link, link, link, link, link, link, link, link, link, link
link

(E) Extrovert
-Tend to focus on the outer world of people and the external environment
-Like variety and action
-Often impatient with long, slow jobs
-Are interested in the activities of their work and in how other people do it
-Often act quickly, sometimes without thinking
-Develop ideas by discussion
-Like to learn new task by talking it through with someone
-Need to experience the world in order to understand it and thus tend to like action

(I) Introverts
-Focus more on their own inner world,...
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