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I don’t know what makes you so dumb but it really works.

Anybody who told you to be yourself simply couldn’t have given you worse advice…

Hi there, I’m a human being! What are you?

Shouldn’t you have a license for being that ugly?

Don’t let you mind wander – it’s far too small to be let out on its own.

Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today?

Sure, I’ve seen people like you before – but I had to pay an admission.

If you took an IQ test, the results would be negative.

Sure, I’d love to help you out…now, which way did you come in?

Brains aren’t everything....

I didn't make this, I just found it...


1.Stick your open palm under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"

2.Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."

3.Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

4.Say, "Damn, this water's cold."

5.Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit! My glass eye!"

6.Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

7.Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.

8.Say, "Now how did that get there?"

9.Say, "Humus....