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posted by tokidoki123
[Everybody Loves Raymond] 116 - Diamonds #385
Marie: Oh I used to love Valentines Day!... then I met your father.
Frank: I used to love every day.
Contributed by funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 121 - Fascinating Debra #409
Debra: There's nothing funny about me to imitate y'know?
Ray: Oh, what are you talking about? Here I'll do you. "Ray, get off of me, it's not your birthday"
Contributed by funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 202 - Father Knows Least #380
Ray: Look, you have to do what Mommy says.
Ally: Why?
Ray: 'Cause I do.
Contributed by funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond]...
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posted by tokidoki123
[Family Guy] S01E05 - A Hero Sits Next Door #178
Lois: Meg, you're a sweet, beautiful girl, he'll come around.
Meg: That's such a mom answer.
Lois: Well, have you tried showing him the goods? How's that for a mom answer?
Meg: Creepy.
Contributed by funnytvquotes.com



[Family Guy] S03E07 - Lethal Weapons #183
Peter: Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you - very homosexually.
Contributed by funnytvquotes.com



[Family Guy] S03E10 - Fish Out Of Water #181
Auctioner: We'll open this auction with this pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute.
Quagemire: Fifty...
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posted by Alma_
Chuck Norris Jokes

-Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

-Only Chuck Norris knows the true end of the movie Inception

-When Chuck Norris throws a boomarang it doesn't dare come back

-Do you know how many push ups Chuck Norris has done? All of them

-Neil Armstrong never went to the moon for NASA, he was trying to run away from Chuck Norris

-Chuck Norris knows the letter after Z

-Chuck Norris was the alien who told the Egyptians how to invent the pyramid

-What's Chuck Norris' Favorite Number?....................CHUCK NORRIS

-Superman wears Chuck Norris underpants.

-When Chuck Norris falls out of a boat he dosn't get wet the water gets Chuck Norrised

-Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he just stares them down until he gets the information he wants out of them.

-Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.

-Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
I got really bored last night and decided to look these up. So...yeah. Some small roles are included.


Italy and Kid

Narrator and Liz

Greece and Spirit

Chibitalia and Yumi

America and Justin

England and Harvar

France and Giriko

Russia and the clowns

HRE and Jack the Ripper
Austria and Dr.Stein

Hungary and Medusa

Liechtenstein and Patty

Belarus and Tsubaki

Lithuania and Ox

Sweden and Mifune

Sealand and Crona

Rome and Eibon

......Yep. I'm most likely missing some, though.
The show SpongeBob linked to attention problems and learning


The show SpongeBob SquarePants is pointed by a study which indicates that the viewing for only nine minutes of the show may cause short-term attention problems and learning in children four years.

Such problems have been observed in a study of 60 randomly selected children to watch SpongeBob or Caillou, in which images change more slowly, or to draw in nine minutes.

Immediately after this activity, children were tested for mental function. And those who watched SpongeBob scored lower than others.

Previous studies had already established...
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"Hey guess what?" Lauren, my best friend, said as we sat in the computer room of my house, looking at Katy Perry music videos. I looked over and answered, "What?". She pulled out a small card with a "BK" watermark on it.
"I got a $10 gift card to Burger King!" She exclaimed. "The jellybeans shall be praised!" I jumped up and immediately grabbed the keys of my car, a blue 2012 Ford Mustang Shelby GT500.
"We need to go." I begged. Burger King was one of my all-time favorite fast food restaurants. I had to go!
"Take out or dine-in?" Lauren asked, standing up. I thought for a second.
"Both!"...
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posted by happyfreak
A friend of mine has another friend that is addicted to meth. She found this and gave it to her friend. She then gave me a copy because she said it was sad and cared enough to let me know what meth is and does.

This poem was written by a young Indiana girl who was in jail for drug charges, and was addicted to Meth. She wrote this while in jail. As you will soon read, she fully grasped the horrors of the drug, as she tells in this simple, yet profound poem. She was released from jail, but, true to her story, the drug owned her. They found her dead not long after, with the needle still in her...
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***Lol this was probably a lot funnier to the drunk people who wrote it at three in the morning but.... here you go xD

Or if you'd just rather check it out on youtube:
link

I wanna be a grizzly bear, so beary bad
Stealin' honey from bees just to make them mad
I wanna live in the forest with, Booboo and Yogi
So we can steal picnic baskets as three

Oh every time I close my eyes...
I see the back of my eyelids
And I bet you didn't know this
I swear, the world is unprepared for when I'm a Grizzly bear

Yeah I would climb trees like bears do
And probably attack you, not an every day
Hike in the forest
I'd probably...
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25 REASONS WHY I OWE MY MOTHER


1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .


"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.


"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .


"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.


" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .


"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.


"Make sure...
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MonaVie
Supports your body’s antioxidant and nutritional needs.





--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MonaVie features a delicious blend of the Brazilian açai berry—one of nature’s top superfoods—and 18 other body-beneficial fruits. This Balance-Variety-Moderation approach to nutrition delivers powerful antioxidants and phytonutrients to help fight free radicals and maintain your body’s overall health.

Offers potent antioxidant protection against free radicals.
Features a wide array of nutrients for optimal health.
Delivers the antioxidant...
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posted by patrisha727
A typical American eats 28 pigs in his/her lifetime.

Americans eat 20.7 pounds of candy per person annually. The Dutch eat three times as much.

Americans spend approximately $25 billion each year on beer.

Americans spent an estimated $267 billion dining out in 1993.

An etiquette writer of the 1840's advised, "Ladies may wipe their lips on the tablecloth, but not blow their noses on it."

Aunt Jemima pancake flour, invented in 1889, was the first ready-mix food to be sold commercially.

Caffeine: there are 100 to 150 milligrams of caffeine in an eight-ounce cup of brewed coffee, 10 milligrams...
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