Holy shit, this one is a bit of a nostalgia trip. I remember watching Mucha Lucha when I was a kid and loved it so much. It was probably where my interest in masked wrestlers came from, that and WWE of course. Now is the show good? Eh, debatable. You’d have to have a nostalgic love for it to appreciate it, but hey, I watched all episodes of The Nutshack. I have zero shame. So yeah, here’s the Mucha Lucha game on Gameboy, Mascaritas of the Lost Code. Another published game by Ubisoft, but developed by Digital Eclipse Software, who worked on all sorts of ports of old arcade games. You’ve probably seen their logo if you played any Gameboy games. So, let’s see why Ubisoft had any interest in publishing a game such as this.
Now first things first, this is the very Gameboy game I have ever owned that came in the original box. Tragic, I know. That also means it came with the original manual, and I gotta say, I appreciate that the manual has both English and Spanish and advertises as such on the manual, since the show was pretty big in Mexico. And yes, I am reaching for compliments. I’ve been playing trash games for ten days straight and still got plenty more to go, I’m gonna reach as hard as I can for something good. So the game starts and, if you’re me, and have any nostalgia towards this show, you’re expecting the theme song to play, but no, it’s just some crappy song that sounds like it at first before its something else. What a tease. So the story of the game is that the schools book is missing and you gotta find it. You can play as the three main characters, Rikochet, Buena Girl, or The Flea. So I start with Rikochet and was immediately attacked by a random enemy. You got a punch, a kick, a jump, and that’s it so far. And holy shit, I thought it was difficult to hit opponents in Legends of Wrestling II, but this game is so much worse. Enemies will always seem to hurt you even when you start hitting them in a combo. You can stun them if you do the right combo… for some reason, but if you aren’t on the exact same plane as they are, you won’t hit them. Your fists will just pass right through them. You gotta get onto the same angle as them to hit them. But even then, you won’t know if you’re hitting the enemies or not. There’s no impact to your punches so when you think you’re swatting at the air, you may actually be hitting them, and before you know it, there dead.
But the bosses are easy as hell. You can trap them against a wall and wail on them. I mean, I think they’re the boss. I beat them and the level ends, yet they come in the next level as regular enemies. Maybe it’s a Dark Souls thing. Is Mucha Lucha: Mascaritas of the Lost Code the Dark Souls of licensed video games? No joke, as I was typing this, I am one handing the Gameboy, punching the enemy, and won. This game is so stupidly easy, it’s just flat out boring. I guess those were mini bosses, because by the will (or curse) of God, I made it to the end of the first level and reached the first boss, and guess what? It’s even easier. Not only can I one hand the Gameboy and beat the boss while typing it out at this very minute, but I did so without getting hit once and within thirty seconds. Yeah, no, I think I’ve seen enough. Do Buena Girl and The Flea play differently, I don’t know, nor do I care, because I hate this game.
I genuinely have no idea why Ubisoft wanted to publish all this garbage, but then again, this is the same company that published Little Nicky: The Video Game, so this was to be expected. Mascaritas of the Lost Code is a game that a four year old could play, maybe even younger. There is no challenge, no effort required, and definitely no fun. You just mash a single button and move forward. It’s the Final Fantasy XIII of licensed games. And it’s a cold day in hell when I gotta compare something to Final Fantasy XIII.
Now first things first, this is the very Gameboy game I have ever owned that came in the original box. Tragic, I know. That also means it came with the original manual, and I gotta say, I appreciate that the manual has both English and Spanish and advertises as such on the manual, since the show was pretty big in Mexico. And yes, I am reaching for compliments. I’ve been playing trash games for ten days straight and still got plenty more to go, I’m gonna reach as hard as I can for something good. So the game starts and, if you’re me, and have any nostalgia towards this show, you’re expecting the theme song to play, but no, it’s just some crappy song that sounds like it at first before its something else. What a tease. So the story of the game is that the schools book is missing and you gotta find it. You can play as the three main characters, Rikochet, Buena Girl, or The Flea. So I start with Rikochet and was immediately attacked by a random enemy. You got a punch, a kick, a jump, and that’s it so far. And holy shit, I thought it was difficult to hit opponents in Legends of Wrestling II, but this game is so much worse. Enemies will always seem to hurt you even when you start hitting them in a combo. You can stun them if you do the right combo… for some reason, but if you aren’t on the exact same plane as they are, you won’t hit them. Your fists will just pass right through them. You gotta get onto the same angle as them to hit them. But even then, you won’t know if you’re hitting the enemies or not. There’s no impact to your punches so when you think you’re swatting at the air, you may actually be hitting them, and before you know it, there dead.
But the bosses are easy as hell. You can trap them against a wall and wail on them. I mean, I think they’re the boss. I beat them and the level ends, yet they come in the next level as regular enemies. Maybe it’s a Dark Souls thing. Is Mucha Lucha: Mascaritas of the Lost Code the Dark Souls of licensed video games? No joke, as I was typing this, I am one handing the Gameboy, punching the enemy, and won. This game is so stupidly easy, it’s just flat out boring. I guess those were mini bosses, because by the will (or curse) of God, I made it to the end of the first level and reached the first boss, and guess what? It’s even easier. Not only can I one hand the Gameboy and beat the boss while typing it out at this very minute, but I did so without getting hit once and within thirty seconds. Yeah, no, I think I’ve seen enough. Do Buena Girl and The Flea play differently, I don’t know, nor do I care, because I hate this game.
I genuinely have no idea why Ubisoft wanted to publish all this garbage, but then again, this is the same company that published Little Nicky: The Video Game, so this was to be expected. Mascaritas of the Lost Code is a game that a four year old could play, maybe even younger. There is no challenge, no effort required, and definitely no fun. You just mash a single button and move forward. It’s the Final Fantasy XIII of licensed games. And it’s a cold day in hell when I gotta compare something to Final Fantasy XIII.
There is no peace, there is PEPE
There is no fear, there is Shadilay(Peace be upon him).
There is no death, there is God Emperor.
There is no weakness, there is the MEMES.
I am the heart of darkness.
I know no fear.
But rather I instil it in my enemies.
I am the destroyer of worlds.
I know the power of the MEMES.
I am the fire of hate.
All the universe bows before kek.
I pledge myself to kek.
For I have found true life In the death of SocJus.
Peace is a lie, there is only Kek.
Through passion, I gain salt.
Through Shadilay(Peace be upon him), I gain power.
Through power, I gain Lulz.
Through victory, my chains are broken.
The MEMES shall set me free.
Preached by the Enlightened Prophet known as ''The Turbo Syncretist''. The truth has been spoken! Know
T
h
e
C
o
d
e
o
f
K
e
K
Praise Kek !!!!
Unfortunately, I have been caught up in other issues for the past week and there is thus no new Turtle Sandwich this week. But I am writing this to establish many things, seeing as although I didn't have much "doing stuff" time, I had plenty of time to think.
1. Despite delays individual to this week, I will have time in the future to make this work on a weekly basis, and so it will stay that way.
2. I have thought more about how video games would work with this, and decided that they actually wouldn't.
3. Between movies and TV shows, I want there to be some schedule for the order of them. But I also realize that I watch movies far more often than entire seasons of TV shows, and that a lot of people are probably the same on that. Therefore, for every month, I will select the last Tuesday to be for TV shows, and the rest will be movies.
I am sorry for failing this city (or whatever city you might live in) this week, but I will attempt to make more time for this in the future.
1. Despite delays individual to this week, I will have time in the future to make this work on a weekly basis, and so it will stay that way.
2. I have thought more about how video games would work with this, and decided that they actually wouldn't.
3. Between movies and TV shows, I want there to be some schedule for the order of them. But I also realize that I watch movies far more often than entire seasons of TV shows, and that a lot of people are probably the same on that. Therefore, for every month, I will select the last Tuesday to be for TV shows, and the rest will be movies.
I am sorry for failing this city (or whatever city you might live in) this week, but I will attempt to make more time for this in the future.