Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!
Car Stereotypes
There are many different types of cars for many different types of people. Observe.
Audi
Man: *Driving a black A6 at 80 miles an hour down the highway* Get out of the fucking way!!! *Pushes a Cadillac off the road*
Woman: *Crashes into a tree* Maniac!
Man: *Tailgating a Jaguar that is actually going the speed limit of 55* Come on, don't you know what the speed limit is?! *Honks the horn* Let's go!! *Honks again* I don't have time for this!! *Bumps into the Jaguar, and makes it crash into a guardrail*
Jeep
Buff Man: *Leaning on a trailer with a speed boat* Yep, just getting my Jeep filled up with gas here at the Gulf station, and then I'm going to New York to go fishing, and test out my new boat. God I love my Jeep. Off roading is the way of life.
Ford
Man: *Driving a Taurus. He slows down as he gets behind a Corvette* Why is he slowing down?
Teenager: *Looking at the Ford behind him* Please don't be undercover, please don't be undercover!
Man: *Passes him*
Teenager: *Lets out a sigh of relief as he watches the Ford speed away from him*
Toyota
Old Man: *Turns left, passing a red light. He pushes a truck off the road* Learn how to drive!!
Man 53: *Looks at the dent on his truck* Jackass.
Honda
Lady: *Points at her Accord* This is the best car ever, because it's very fuel efficient.
Man: *Looks at his Volt* Yeah, sure.
Lady: (Dammit! He knows the truth! His car is better!!)
Hummer, yes people still drive these
Man: Alright!! I finished lifting the 600 pound weights. Now it's time to go to Wal-Mart and buy stuff!!
People: *Shopping at Wal-Mart*
Man: *Crashes into the front of the store* I WANT 60,000 CASES OF WATER!!! PRONTO!!!
Worker: They're in Aisle 12!
Man: DROP AND GIVE ME 50!!!!!! And while you're at it, FILL UP MY HUMMER WITH DIESEL!!!!!!!!!!! I also need some Blu-Ray discs, a Blu-Ray player, and a large variety of food!
Worker: That probably explains why you crashed through the front of our store.
Not all Hummers run on diesel FYI.
Fiat
A hot chick with big breasts was walking towards a pink Fiat 500.
Girl: *Grabs a dildo out of the glove compartment, then puts the key in the ignition. She turns it, and as she hears the engine having trouble starting, she begins to masturbate with the dildo* Ah! Ah! *Turns the key again as she continues masturbating* Oh yes~!
Citroen
Girl: It's the same thing as Fiat, only in France.
Man 96: Does anyone even drive those?
Girl: I have a 2CV.
Man 96: ...of course you do.
Volkswagen
Girl: *In a '55 Beetle, masturbating as her car won't start* Ja, Ja! Jawohl! Das ist wunderbar!
Man 89: Das ist das gleiche Problem wie Fiat, aber in Deutschland.
Aston Martin
Man: *Steps out of his car, wearing a tuxedo*
Woman: *Sitting behind a computer* Have you found anything yet?
Man: I spotted our target's vehicle. It's parked in front of the casino. It may take a while for me to-
Man 43: *Steps out of his car*
Man: Never mind, I got a clear shot. *Shoots the man*
Woman: You were supposed to bring him in alive!
Man: I'm Daniel Craig, I don't care about bringing people in for questioning. I only care about murder.
Woman: *Facepalm*
And finally, Nissan
A doorbell rang, and the door was soon opened by none other than.........ThaSlimJim.
ThaSlimJim: Oh cool, you brought my pizza.
Pizza Delivery Guy: Yes, I brought it in my new Altima.
ThaSlimJim: Holy shit dude, I have that car!
Pizza Delivery Guy: Sick bro!
ThaSlimJim: Do you also like pizza too?
Pizza Delivery Guy: Hell yeah dude, that's why I deliver it!
ThaSlimJim: Sick! Come on in, I got some marijuana!
Pizza Delivery Guy: Rock on bro!!
6 hours later
Pizza Delivery Guy: *Stoned as he walks back to his car*
ThaSlimJim: Yo, come back tomorrow with more pizza!
Pizza Delivery Guy: Sure thing bro. *Stumbles into his car, and drives away. He swerves down the road at 60 miles an hour*
---
More Car Stereotypes
We have more stereotypes for more cars, coming your way.
Rolls-Royce
Butler: *Parks a Silver Wraith in front of a giant mansion*
Rich Man: *Steps out with an unbrella* Well, pish posh and perfection, welcome to my British home dear chap. Come this way and I'll show you what's inside. *Inside his house* First off, we have every picture inside a gold frame. Each frame is 24 karat gold. I have 65 million pounds worth of diamonds, and 65 million pounds in general. I make ten thousand pounds a day, and share half of it with everyone in town.
Butler: He wouldn't do that if he had an Audi. He'd have to save up to keep it from falling apart.
GMC
Teenager: *Looking at a man*
Man: You scratched my truck.
Teenager: I did not.
Man: Yes you did.
Teenager: *Follows the man towards his truck. No scratch is seen*
Man: My door is messed up thanks to you.
Teenager: I didn't even touch your truck.
Man: You need to be more careful on your bicycle. Get some training wheels.
Teenager: Hey, worry about yourself. *Rides away*
Man: *Shaking in fury*
Dodge
Girl: *Looking at a black charger following her* Please don't be undercover.
Man: *Driving the Charger* What is the meaning of this person going slow? *Runs the girl off the road*
Girl: *Stuck in a ditch* Well, he's definitely not a cop.
Chevrolet
Teenager: *Going 75 on the highway* I don't care if the speed limit is 55. I'm late for college.
Man 77: *Parked on the side of the road in a Suburban*
Teenager: *Turns off the highway, and drifts onto a road, turning right. He sees the Suburban* That's not a cop, because cops only use Ford's.
Man 77: *Spots the teenager speeding past him. He follows him, turning on his police lights* Dispatch, I got me a speeder.
Teenager: *Looks back at the cop* Fuck.
Mercedes-Benz. There's two of these.
The first one.
Busty Blonde: *Stops at a gas station in a shiny convertible* I need premium.
Attendant: You're not gonna masturbate if you have engine trouble, are you?
Busty Blonde: Does my car look like a Fiat? Besides, why should I masturbate, when I got you?
Attendant: *Blushing*
2nd
Indian: Hello, I from India, and this is my 1978 Mercedes. It is diesel powered, and should break down, but it does not, because it is Mercedes. All Indians, and Muslims in America drive diesel powered sedans from the 70's and 80's.
Muslim: Not me, I drive Volvo.
Indian: Get a diesel you bitch.
Mitsubishi
Man: *Drifting in snow* Woo-hoo!!
Man 79: *In a Ford Focus* Why am I losing?
Man: Because you're not driving a Mitsubishi. The king of rally cross, in dirt, or snow!! Yeah!! *Goes over a 50 foot jump, and continues driving in the snow* Forget Jeep, Subaru, and everything else. Mitsubishi is what you need for off road adventures.
Subaru
Asian: *Drifting in an outback station wagon. He smiles as he tries hard not to lean into the passenger's seat as he continues drifting*
And finally, BMW
I wish this wasn't true, because BMW's are very nice cars. Alas, some BMW drivers do behave like morons. As a matter of fact, what you will see actually happened to me recently.
Man: *At a red light, getting ready to turn left. He looks at a BMW X5 on the other side of the intersection, also getting ready to turn left* That's a nice car, I'd like to have one of those.
Woman: *In the X5*
Man: *Sees the light turn green. He begins to go forward*
Woman: *Driving forward, but gets in front of the other car, and goes on the wrong side of the road*
Man: What are you doing?
Woman: You nearly hit me!!
Man: I'm not the one who got on the left side of the road. *Gets rammed by a Toyota*
Okay, I didn't actually get rammed, but a Toyota was coming towards me at 80 miles an hour. If you want to kill yourself, that's your problem, but don't get others involved by driving like a jackass.
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see.
CHHHHHHHHAAAAANNNNEEEELLLLLL!
HIA VIEWERS!
It's me your host Invader Calliope.
It's nice to see you again! :3
Well todays specail guest is......IGGINS!
Iggins:Oh It's me IGGIN *laughs*
Invader Calliope:Your laugh was way off.
Iggins:What?
Invader Calliope:I SAID YOUR LAUGH WAS WAY OFF!
Iggins:What do you mean?
Invader Calliope:YOUR LAUGH COMES FROM RIGHT HERE *places hand on heart*
Iggins:YES MA'AM!
Invader Calliope:Ok so we got that over with! It's time for some talking!
Iggins:O-ok!
Invader Calliope:*smiles*
Iggins:Hello?
Invader Calliope:So how was your trip IGGINS!
Iggin:I-it was easy I al-alread-already live close so it was easy.
Invader Calliope:Well that's nice to know.I'm closing the show today! BYE! I HOPE YOU ENJOY THE SUPRISE PICTURE!
The End
1.Go into the restroom,fall into the toilet and scream at the top of your lungs TOILET RAPE!
2.Go to the toy section,find a large teddy bear and start frenching it.
3.Rip apart books,magizines,ect. you hate.
4.Ask a person if the have ever been toilet raped.
5.Speak pig latin,Russain,German,ect. to the employees.
6.Grap as many balls as you can and start thoughing them at people.If the get mad say you were trying to play dodge ball with them.
7.Bring a portable stero and play the loudest most annoying song ever.
8.Slap a random person in front of a bunch of people and say,"I can not beleive you cheated on me with that whore" and point to a random girl.
9.Try selling "chololate".
10.If you are alone in the restroom,take off your pad and leave it in the sink.
11.If you are alone and no one is coming to your aisle,take a wizz or dump there!
12.Scream ABUSE if someone hits,kicks,slaps ect. you.
13.Find fake blood and right on the walls scary sayings.
2.Go to the toy section,find a large teddy bear and start frenching it.
3.Rip apart books,magizines,ect. you hate.
4.Ask a person if the have ever been toilet raped.
5.Speak pig latin,Russain,German,ect. to the employees.
6.Grap as many balls as you can and start thoughing them at people.If the get mad say you were trying to play dodge ball with them.
7.Bring a portable stero and play the loudest most annoying song ever.
8.Slap a random person in front of a bunch of people and say,"I can not beleive you cheated on me with that whore" and point to a random girl.
9.Try selling "chololate".
10.If you are alone in the restroom,take off your pad and leave it in the sink.
11.If you are alone and no one is coming to your aisle,take a wizz or dump there!
12.Scream ABUSE if someone hits,kicks,slaps ect. you.
13.Find fake blood and right on the walls scary sayings.
A stoner walks into an appliance store and asks the owner, "How much for that TV set in the window?"
The owner looks at the TV set, then looks at the stoner, and says, "I don't sell stuff to potheads." So the stoner tells the owner that he'll quit toking and will come back the next week to buy the TV. A week later, the stoner comes back and says, "I quit smoking pot. Now, how much for that TV set in the window?"
And the owner says, "I told you I don't sell to potheads!" So the stoner leaves again.
He comes back a week later and says, "How much for that TV?"
The owner says, "I'm not going to tell you again, I don't sell to potheads!!!"
The stoner looks back at the owner and says, "How can you tell I'm a pothead?"
The owner looks back and says, "Because that's a microwave."
The owner looks at the TV set, then looks at the stoner, and says, "I don't sell stuff to potheads." So the stoner tells the owner that he'll quit toking and will come back the next week to buy the TV. A week later, the stoner comes back and says, "I quit smoking pot. Now, how much for that TV set in the window?"
And the owner says, "I told you I don't sell to potheads!" So the stoner leaves again.
He comes back a week later and says, "How much for that TV?"
The owner says, "I'm not going to tell you again, I don't sell to potheads!!!"
The stoner looks back at the owner and says, "How can you tell I'm a pothead?"
The owner looks back and says, "Because that's a microwave."
everyone is beautiful in their own way.
-Alana
just because you love someone else doesn't mean you have to break one more heart.
-alana
everybody's life is different, so don't try to live someone else's life.
-Alana
it doesn't matter how you look at the outside, look at the inside and find your real beauty.
-Alana
life is never the same, you can't take whats not yours away.
-Alana
believe in yourself and never give upon your dreams.
-Alana
if you dont express your talents you'll be known as no one.
-Alana
life is precious with who your with, not with who you want to be with.
-Alana
why be who your not, when you can enjoy being who you are.
-Alana
if you let yourself down, you let everyone behind you down.
-Alana
your first love will alwats be around, no matter what.
-Alana
-Alana
just because you love someone else doesn't mean you have to break one more heart.
-alana
everybody's life is different, so don't try to live someone else's life.
-Alana
it doesn't matter how you look at the outside, look at the inside and find your real beauty.
-Alana
life is never the same, you can't take whats not yours away.
-Alana
believe in yourself and never give upon your dreams.
-Alana
if you dont express your talents you'll be known as no one.
-Alana
life is precious with who your with, not with who you want to be with.
-Alana
why be who your not, when you can enjoy being who you are.
-Alana
if you let yourself down, you let everyone behind you down.
-Alana
your first love will alwats be around, no matter what.
-Alana
Brought to you by Trent-lover123
