Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!
Car Stereotypes
There are many different types of cars for many different types of people. Observe.
Audi
Man: *Driving a black A6 at 80 miles an hour down the highway* Get out of the fucking way!!! *Pushes a Cadillac off the road*
Woman: *Crashes into a tree* Maniac!
Man: *Tailgating a Jaguar that is actually going the speed limit of 55* Come on, don't you know what the speed limit is?! *Honks the horn* Let's go!! *Honks again* I don't have time for this!! *Bumps into the Jaguar, and makes it crash into a guardrail*
Jeep
Buff Man: *Leaning on a trailer with a speed boat* Yep, just getting my Jeep filled up with gas here at the Gulf station, and then I'm going to New York to go fishing, and test out my new boat. God I love my Jeep. Off roading is the way of life.
Ford
Man: *Driving a Taurus. He slows down as he gets behind a Corvette* Why is he slowing down?
Teenager: *Looking at the Ford behind him* Please don't be undercover, please don't be undercover!
Man: *Passes him*
Teenager: *Lets out a sigh of relief as he watches the Ford speed away from him*
Toyota
Old Man: *Turns left, passing a red light. He pushes a truck off the road* Learn how to drive!!
Man 53: *Looks at the dent on his truck* Jackass.
Honda
Lady: *Points at her Accord* This is the best car ever, because it's very fuel efficient.
Man: *Looks at his Volt* Yeah, sure.
Lady: (Dammit! He knows the truth! His car is better!!)
Hummer, yes people still drive these
Man: Alright!! I finished lifting the 600 pound weights. Now it's time to go to Wal-Mart and buy stuff!!
People: *Shopping at Wal-Mart*
Man: *Crashes into the front of the store* I WANT 60,000 CASES OF WATER!!! PRONTO!!!
Worker: They're in Aisle 12!
Man: DROP AND GIVE ME 50!!!!!! And while you're at it, FILL UP MY HUMMER WITH DIESEL!!!!!!!!!!! I also need some Blu-Ray discs, a Blu-Ray player, and a large variety of food!
Worker: That probably explains why you crashed through the front of our store.
Not all Hummers run on diesel FYI.
Fiat
A hot chick with big breasts was walking towards a pink Fiat 500.
Girl: *Grabs a dildo out of the glove compartment, then puts the key in the ignition. She turns it, and as she hears the engine having trouble starting, she begins to masturbate with the dildo* Ah! Ah! *Turns the key again as she continues masturbating* Oh yes~!
Citroen
Girl: It's the same thing as Fiat, only in France.
Man 96: Does anyone even drive those?
Girl: I have a 2CV.
Man 96: ...of course you do.
Volkswagen
Girl: *In a '55 Beetle, masturbating as her car won't start* Ja, Ja! Jawohl! Das ist wunderbar!
Man 89: Das ist das gleiche Problem wie Fiat, aber in Deutschland.
Aston Martin
Man: *Steps out of his car, wearing a tuxedo*
Woman: *Sitting behind a computer* Have you found anything yet?
Man: I spotted our target's vehicle. It's parked in front of the casino. It may take a while for me to-
Man 43: *Steps out of his car*
Man: Never mind, I got a clear shot. *Shoots the man*
Woman: You were supposed to bring him in alive!
Man: I'm Daniel Craig, I don't care about bringing people in for questioning. I only care about murder.
Woman: *Facepalm*
And finally, Nissan
A doorbell rang, and the door was soon opened by none other than.........ThaSlimJim.
ThaSlimJim: Oh cool, you brought my pizza.
Pizza Delivery Guy: Yes, I brought it in my new Altima.
ThaSlimJim: Holy shit dude, I have that car!
Pizza Delivery Guy: Sick bro!
ThaSlimJim: Do you also like pizza too?
Pizza Delivery Guy: Hell yeah dude, that's why I deliver it!
ThaSlimJim: Sick! Come on in, I got some marijuana!
Pizza Delivery Guy: Rock on bro!!
6 hours later
Pizza Delivery Guy: *Stoned as he walks back to his car*
ThaSlimJim: Yo, come back tomorrow with more pizza!
Pizza Delivery Guy: Sure thing bro. *Stumbles into his car, and drives away. He swerves down the road at 60 miles an hour*
---
More Car Stereotypes
We have more stereotypes for more cars, coming your way.
Rolls-Royce
Butler: *Parks a Silver Wraith in front of a giant mansion*
Rich Man: *Steps out with an unbrella* Well, pish posh and perfection, welcome to my British home dear chap. Come this way and I'll show you what's inside. *Inside his house* First off, we have every picture inside a gold frame. Each frame is 24 karat gold. I have 65 million pounds worth of diamonds, and 65 million pounds in general. I make ten thousand pounds a day, and share half of it with everyone in town.
Butler: He wouldn't do that if he had an Audi. He'd have to save up to keep it from falling apart.
GMC
Teenager: *Looking at a man*
Man: You scratched my truck.
Teenager: I did not.
Man: Yes you did.
Teenager: *Follows the man towards his truck. No scratch is seen*
Man: My door is messed up thanks to you.
Teenager: I didn't even touch your truck.
Man: You need to be more careful on your bicycle. Get some training wheels.
Teenager: Hey, worry about yourself. *Rides away*
Man: *Shaking in fury*
Dodge
Girl: *Looking at a black charger following her* Please don't be undercover.
Man: *Driving the Charger* What is the meaning of this person going slow? *Runs the girl off the road*
Girl: *Stuck in a ditch* Well, he's definitely not a cop.
Chevrolet
Teenager: *Going 75 on the highway* I don't care if the speed limit is 55. I'm late for college.
Man 77: *Parked on the side of the road in a Suburban*
Teenager: *Turns off the highway, and drifts onto a road, turning right. He sees the Suburban* That's not a cop, because cops only use Ford's.
Man 77: *Spots the teenager speeding past him. He follows him, turning on his police lights* Dispatch, I got me a speeder.
Teenager: *Looks back at the cop* Fuck.
Mercedes-Benz. There's two of these.
The first one.
Busty Blonde: *Stops at a gas station in a shiny convertible* I need premium.
Attendant: You're not gonna masturbate if you have engine trouble, are you?
Busty Blonde: Does my car look like a Fiat? Besides, why should I masturbate, when I got you?
Attendant: *Blushing*
2nd
Indian: Hello, I from India, and this is my 1978 Mercedes. It is diesel powered, and should break down, but it does not, because it is Mercedes. All Indians, and Muslims in America drive diesel powered sedans from the 70's and 80's.
Muslim: Not me, I drive Volvo.
Indian: Get a diesel you bitch.
Mitsubishi
Man: *Drifting in snow* Woo-hoo!!
Man 79: *In a Ford Focus* Why am I losing?
Man: Because you're not driving a Mitsubishi. The king of rally cross, in dirt, or snow!! Yeah!! *Goes over a 50 foot jump, and continues driving in the snow* Forget Jeep, Subaru, and everything else. Mitsubishi is what you need for off road adventures.
Subaru
Asian: *Drifting in an outback station wagon. He smiles as he tries hard not to lean into the passenger's seat as he continues drifting*
And finally, BMW
I wish this wasn't true, because BMW's are very nice cars. Alas, some BMW drivers do behave like morons. As a matter of fact, what you will see actually happened to me recently.
Man: *At a red light, getting ready to turn left. He looks at a BMW X5 on the other side of the intersection, also getting ready to turn left* That's a nice car, I'd like to have one of those.
Woman: *In the X5*
Man: *Sees the light turn green. He begins to go forward*
Woman: *Driving forward, but gets in front of the other car, and goes on the wrong side of the road*
Man: What are you doing?
Woman: You nearly hit me!!
Man: I'm not the one who got on the left side of the road. *Gets rammed by a Toyota*
Okay, I didn't actually get rammed, but a Toyota was coming towards me at 80 miles an hour. If you want to kill yourself, that's your problem, but don't get others involved by driving like a jackass.
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see.
As the title suggests, these are what work for me.. So you know...
1; AVOID ALL COVID NEWS;
Never ever watch the news, all they do is tell sad stories and make you feel worse about this than you already do..
2; GO FOR WALKS;
I live at a lake place, and know a path that's my usual for walks. I go alone though, I like the alone time.. Just getting outside, it really helps..
3; DISTRACT YOURSELF;
To me, continuing to play video games, watch youtube and watch tv, just as I did before all this.. It really helps..
4; STAY POSTIVE;
This my biggest one. Always stay optimistic.. Enjoy the little things.. Like seeing something on netflix. Whatever it is..
1; AVOID ALL COVID NEWS;
Never ever watch the news, all they do is tell sad stories and make you feel worse about this than you already do..
2; GO FOR WALKS;
I live at a lake place, and know a path that's my usual for walks. I go alone though, I like the alone time.. Just getting outside, it really helps..
3; DISTRACT YOURSELF;
To me, continuing to play video games, watch youtube and watch tv, just as I did before all this.. It really helps..
4; STAY POSTIVE;
This my biggest one. Always stay optimistic.. Enjoy the little things.. Like seeing something on netflix. Whatever it is..
Episode 1;
Roman: (meets Niko at the boat stop).
Niko: (stressed) What took you so long!
Roman: Sorry.. I was at a party.. But anyway.. (singing) Welcome, home, Cousin. You know that, I missed ye-
Niko: [Off-Screen] NO! [On-Screen] NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR YOU SING!
----------------------------------------------------------
Roman is driving them too the apartment, though he's driving very slowly, much to Niko's anger.
Roman: Do you think Mallorie's mad at me?
Niko: Because you're in the right lane behind a bus and you won't go around it? (sarcastically) No, I'm sure she finds it charming.
Roman: No,...
Vroom in the Night Sky is considered by many to be the worst game on the Nintendo Switch, let alone one of the worst games ever. Developed by Poisoft, a studio that clearly doesn’t speak English, Vroom in the Night Sky was once a Wii U exclusive, but was able to crawl it’s way out of the bargain bin console and onto your Nintendo Switch. I want you to let that sink in. Trash like Vroom in the Night Sky was able to survive the Wii U and yet Wonderful 101 remains trapped on there. This was the game that was considered better than Vroom in the Night Sky. May god forgive us all.
So from...
continue reading...
So from...
Song: link
Blue lines fly along the screen, then the words appear
The Canterlot Highway Patrol is a very busy organization, protecting everyone on, and around the highways of Canterlot. Of course, there are some ponies that despise them, and call these police ponies Chips, or chippies for short.
Jon Baker, and Frank Poncherello, two CHP officers, were riding Harley Davidson motorcycles on one of the highways.
Jon: *Riding his motorcycle next to Frank* It sure is a nice day.
Frank: Not just with the weather, but with the activity. Things are going easy for us.
A blue GT500 passed them...
Welcome to the second episode of Cultober II: The Return. Yesterday, we looked at a classic horror film that is regarded for its writing and effects. Now we will be looking at a classic B-monster film that is known for its cheese but loved for its premise nonetheless. Today we will be looking at what many consider the king of classic b-movies, 1958’s The Blob. The original, of course.
Young lovers Steve and Jane are at Lover’s Lane when a meteorite crashes into earth. From within, a gelatinous creature known only as The Blob emerges from within and begins to devour residents of the...
continue reading...
Young lovers Steve and Jane are at Lover’s Lane when a meteorite crashes into earth. From within, a gelatinous creature known only as The Blob emerges from within and begins to devour residents of the...
