Compiled from the Twitter contest held by @nerdist.
JanetVarney: Yo momma so fat the Sorting Hat put her in all four houses
chris8675309: Yo mamma so stupid, she thinks Sirius Black is the soul station on satellite radio
sarazafar: Yo mama so fat she tried to eat Cornelius Fudge
dino_rider: Yo mama’s so ugly the Dementor’s Kiss was swapped out for a hearty handshake and a promise to give her a call sometime.
bradheintz: Yo mama so nasty, Dobby wouldn’t take her sock
Burnaway: Yo momma so skanky, even her patronus got knocked up
chompychomp: Yo mama so stupid, she drowned in a pensieve
Dick_M: yo momma so dumb she thought that she could talk to snakes if she put parsley on her tongue
dtejano: Yo mama’s so masculine, she makes Dumbledore go, “DAAAYYYUMM!”
habcous: yo mamma so nasty, every pair of her panties has the Dark Mark
HakSolo: your mom is so fat if she confronted a boggart it would morph into a treadmill
dantelfer: Yo mamma so fat, she has to enchant her panties into a portkey to get out of a chair
dirk_funk: Yo mama so fat it takes two boggarts to shape-shift into her
MarioEGarcia: yo mama so poor she went to Honeydukes and put a chocolate frog on layaway
melgotserved: Yo momma’s so fat she got stuck in the Floo Network
melgotserved: Yo momma’s so fat her wand is a Slim Jim
MikeDrucker: Yo’ Momma so fat she joined the Death Eaters ’cause she was hungry
MsJG: Yo Momma’s so fugly that even Voldemort won’t speak her name
paulscheer: Yo Mamma is so fat that even the Dementors can’t suck out her soul in one sitting
phirm: Yo Mama so nasty, everybody call her “She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Naked”
Taborifica: Yo momma so fat even her Quidditch robes have stretch marks
MarioEGarcia Yo momma's so fat the sorting hat assigned her to the House of Pancakes
cvgurau: Your momma so dumb, they put the Sorting Hat on her head and all it heard was an echo.
chris8675309: Your momma so fat, she looked in the mirror of Erised and saw a ham
DavidAkers: Yo momma so old, there ain't an Age Line that can stop her.
elchupahueso: your family's so poor that you make the weaseleys look like the Malfoy's!
girl_noir: Yo mamma so fat, she splinched herself an' nobody noticed.
HakSolo: Your mom is so ugly when she walked into Gringotts Wizarding Bank, they gave her a job application.
hollibo83: yo mama so ugly when she was born the doctor screamed "riddikulus"
MarioEGarcia: Yo mama so old, she used to babysit Dumbledore
DavidAkers: Yo momma so ugly, no one can tell when she's an Animagus.
R-Silent: Yo momma so fat her patronus is a cake
JanetVarney: Yo momma so fat the Sorting Hat put her in all four houses
chris8675309: Yo mamma so stupid, she thinks Sirius Black is the soul station on satellite radio
sarazafar: Yo mama so fat she tried to eat Cornelius Fudge
dino_rider: Yo mama’s so ugly the Dementor’s Kiss was swapped out for a hearty handshake and a promise to give her a call sometime.
bradheintz: Yo mama so nasty, Dobby wouldn’t take her sock
Burnaway: Yo momma so skanky, even her patronus got knocked up
chompychomp: Yo mama so stupid, she drowned in a pensieve
Dick_M: yo momma so dumb she thought that she could talk to snakes if she put parsley on her tongue
dtejano: Yo mama’s so masculine, she makes Dumbledore go, “DAAAYYYUMM!”
habcous: yo mamma so nasty, every pair of her panties has the Dark Mark
HakSolo: your mom is so fat if she confronted a boggart it would morph into a treadmill
dantelfer: Yo mamma so fat, she has to enchant her panties into a portkey to get out of a chair
dirk_funk: Yo mama so fat it takes two boggarts to shape-shift into her
MarioEGarcia: yo mama so poor she went to Honeydukes and put a chocolate frog on layaway
melgotserved: Yo momma’s so fat she got stuck in the Floo Network
melgotserved: Yo momma’s so fat her wand is a Slim Jim
MikeDrucker: Yo’ Momma so fat she joined the Death Eaters ’cause she was hungry
MsJG: Yo Momma’s so fugly that even Voldemort won’t speak her name
paulscheer: Yo Mamma is so fat that even the Dementors can’t suck out her soul in one sitting
phirm: Yo Mama so nasty, everybody call her “She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Naked”
Taborifica: Yo momma so fat even her Quidditch robes have stretch marks
MarioEGarcia Yo momma's so fat the sorting hat assigned her to the House of Pancakes
cvgurau: Your momma so dumb, they put the Sorting Hat on her head and all it heard was an echo.
chris8675309: Your momma so fat, she looked in the mirror of Erised and saw a ham
DavidAkers: Yo momma so old, there ain't an Age Line that can stop her.
elchupahueso: your family's so poor that you make the weaseleys look like the Malfoy's!
girl_noir: Yo mamma so fat, she splinched herself an' nobody noticed.
HakSolo: Your mom is so ugly when she walked into Gringotts Wizarding Bank, they gave her a job application.
hollibo83: yo mama so ugly when she was born the doctor screamed "riddikulus"
MarioEGarcia: Yo mama so old, she used to babysit Dumbledore
DavidAkers: Yo momma so ugly, no one can tell when she's an Animagus.
R-Silent: Yo momma so fat her patronus is a cake
As I sit on the rough steps in this cold winters day waiting for my father to tell me to come inside. I know he will eventually but I want to stay alone, facing him time and time again is torture! Around me is the black mansion which is where I live in and surrounding it is snow and naked branches as the leaves has fallen out in comparison to its season. With a flick of my cold black wand a heart appears in the snow, I don’t care about the rules of magic anymore. Then the thought of her face appears in my head and affection rises in my chest, my eyes are feeling hot and my face is turning red. I feel a tear run down my face but it’s not cooling my face down in any way. With another flick of my wand the heart turns black and a crack through the middle breaks it apart and I’m running.
