Me, Myself, and I
By Rita Skeeter
Exclusive interview with notorious Death Eater Bellatrix Lestrange
Here I am, sitting in the private dungeon of the notorious Bellatrix Lestrange, most feared follower of the Dark Lord, and having a completely normal interview. Read on to see if there’s more to Bellatrix than just madness and a nasty reputation!
RS: Hello!
BL: *growls*
RS: Do you mind if I use a quick-quotes quill?
BL: What’s that?
*fingers wand handle threateningly*
RS: Oh, nothing, erm, moving on…Can I call you Bella?
BL: No.
RS: How would you describe your relationship with the man known as Lord Voldemort
*Bellatrix turns pink, then regains composture*
BL: I am his most loyal follower! I, who spent years in Azkaban for him!
RS: Riiiiight, I’m sure that was a real big help, now-
*Bellatrix reaches for wand again*
BL: Do you doubt me, you FILTHY HALF-BLOOD!
RS: uh, no, of course not, now, what would you say is your favorite spell?
BL: CRUCIO!! Would you like a demonstration?
*Bellatrix laughs evilly and reaches for wand again*
RS: No need for that, now, er, why do you like it so much?
BL: It’s so much fun to cause innocent people pain! HAHAHA! And I give filthy mudbloods and half-bloods what they deserve. *cackles evilly* I also like Avada Kedavra, but not as much since it doesn’t actually cause people insufferable pain, *Cackles again*.
RS: *uncomfortably* Right, er, moving on, how do you feel before going out on missions for the Dark Lord? Uncomfortable? Excited? Guilty?
*Bellatrix leans forward and looks at my writing pad*
BL: I CAN be nice! Like if someone begs me to kill them it’s not like I ignore that altogether reasonable request!
RS: Okay, moving on again, what are your main goals in life?
BL: To torture as many innocent people as possible, especially filthy mudbloods, kill muggles, do the Dark Lords bidding, make out with the Dark Lor-er, nothing
*Bellatrix turns pink*
RS: Mmmhmm, very interesting, now, how do you feel about the way J.K. Rowling has written about you in the Harry Potter Books? Do you feel she has done you justice?
BL: I HATE THE STUPID TITLE! The series should be called something more like “The Dark Lords quest for blood purification and the filthy half-blood idiot who stood in his way and eventually died a painful death”
RS: Hmmm, and how do you feel about your death at the hands of Molly Weasley?
BL: DO NOT SPEAK OF IT! THAT STUPID HALF-BLOOD-FILTHY-BLOOD-TRAITOR-FAT-UNTALENTED-SEVEN-KIDS-UGLY-HOUSEWITCH DID NOT DESERVE TO KILL ME! THE DARK LORD MOST LOYAL FOLLOWER! I COULD DEFEAT HER WITH MY WAND TIED BEHIND MY BACK! I WILL HAVE JUSTICE!! CRUCIO! CRUCIO! CRUCIO! AVADA KEDAVRA!
*As I was running for my life, I was forced to conclude my highly informative interview with Bellatrix Lestrange*
By Rita Skeeter
Exclusive interview with notorious Death Eater Bellatrix Lestrange
Here I am, sitting in the private dungeon of the notorious Bellatrix Lestrange, most feared follower of the Dark Lord, and having a completely normal interview. Read on to see if there’s more to Bellatrix than just madness and a nasty reputation!
RS: Hello!
BL: *growls*
RS: Do you mind if I use a quick-quotes quill?
BL: What’s that?
*fingers wand handle threateningly*
RS: Oh, nothing, erm, moving on…Can I call you Bella?
BL: No.
RS: How would you describe your relationship with the man known as Lord Voldemort
*Bellatrix turns pink, then regains composture*
BL: I am his most loyal follower! I, who spent years in Azkaban for him!
RS: Riiiiight, I’m sure that was a real big help, now-
*Bellatrix reaches for wand again*
BL: Do you doubt me, you FILTHY HALF-BLOOD!
RS: uh, no, of course not, now, what would you say is your favorite spell?
BL: CRUCIO!! Would you like a demonstration?
*Bellatrix laughs evilly and reaches for wand again*
RS: No need for that, now, er, why do you like it so much?
BL: It’s so much fun to cause innocent people pain! HAHAHA! And I give filthy mudbloods and half-bloods what they deserve. *cackles evilly* I also like Avada Kedavra, but not as much since it doesn’t actually cause people insufferable pain, *Cackles again*.
RS: *uncomfortably* Right, er, moving on, how do you feel before going out on missions for the Dark Lord? Uncomfortable? Excited? Guilty?
*Bellatrix leans forward and looks at my writing pad*
BL: I CAN be nice! Like if someone begs me to kill them it’s not like I ignore that altogether reasonable request!
RS: Okay, moving on again, what are your main goals in life?
BL: To torture as many innocent people as possible, especially filthy mudbloods, kill muggles, do the Dark Lords bidding, make out with the Dark Lor-er, nothing
*Bellatrix turns pink*
RS: Mmmhmm, very interesting, now, how do you feel about the way J.K. Rowling has written about you in the Harry Potter Books? Do you feel she has done you justice?
BL: I HATE THE STUPID TITLE! The series should be called something more like “The Dark Lords quest for blood purification and the filthy half-blood idiot who stood in his way and eventually died a painful death”
RS: Hmmm, and how do you feel about your death at the hands of Molly Weasley?
BL: DO NOT SPEAK OF IT! THAT STUPID HALF-BLOOD-FILTHY-BLOOD-TRAITOR-FAT-UNTALENTED-SEVEN-KIDS-UGLY-HOUSEWITCH DID NOT DESERVE TO KILL ME! THE DARK LORD MOST LOYAL FOLLOWER! I COULD DEFEAT HER WITH MY WAND TIED BEHIND MY BACK! I WILL HAVE JUSTICE!! CRUCIO! CRUCIO! CRUCIO! AVADA KEDAVRA!
*As I was running for my life, I was forced to conclude my highly informative interview with Bellatrix Lestrange*
But what would be the perfect book for summer: a new chapter of Harry Potter or the sequel to Breaking Dawn? Would you prefer to read the new adventures of thrush after "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows," or to know what happens to Edward and Bella after the ending of the Twilight saga? Vote!
And how can you imagine more of these stories? Let go of the fantasy and ... "write" you Harry Potter 8 and the new adventures of Edward and Bella!
Did you ever think that dumbledore was useing harry potter? Well he did! As you can see in snape's thoughts that he did. Dumbledore said that he was like a pig up for slauter! I mean who is mean to say that or act twards that person. WELL HE DID!
He doesn't realy think about what would he feel if he was steping into his shoes. I mean come on. He thinks he so COOL that he has the elder wand. HE'S A NORMAL PERSON FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!
Well now getting back to the subject. Dumbledore is a MEAN person so if you want to find out your self then go to chapter that says "Snape's Memories"
-Spongebob105
He doesn't realy think about what would he feel if he was steping into his shoes. I mean come on. He thinks he so COOL that he has the elder wand. HE'S A NORMAL PERSON FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!
Well now getting back to the subject. Dumbledore is a MEAN person so if you want to find out your self then go to chapter that says "Snape's Memories"
-Spongebob105