Lesson 1: PROPS!!! Lots and lots of props!
Harrypotterlurvfeverweasley_ravenclar-granger gave me props for my comments:
“Hi I really like the way you verbally attack Twilight fans. The way you threatened their lives by tracking down their IP address and sending them cryptic letter describing how you’re going to kidnap them in their sleep and dismember them limb by limb was so cool. Don’t worry; I’ll have your back if they call the police. I know you’re totally justified because I hate that book too.”
Cullenlife_number1fan_forks gave me props for my articles:
“Hey, that wasn’t fair, the way they were all attacking you because of your spelling. They should have been responding to your comments accusing Harry of substance abuse and Dumbledore’s role in the War in Iraq, but instead they were picking on your spelling. Those monsters! You didn’t deserve that. Oh well, good job on your article!”
slytherin-deadBellatrix_dobby’srevenge gave me props for my articles:
“That was an amazing article. It was really really really long. You said a lot of mean things against Twilight, Stephenie Meyer, her children, and all her fans! THAT’S what makes a good article; we need a lot more of that. I especially like that part where you said Billy should be arrested for allowing Jacob to be shirtless while underage in public, and the part where you complained about Edward not having an English accent even though he’s from Chicago. And that part where you said Carlisle’s a pedophile because he’s 200 years older than his wife, who’s also 3 years older than him. That was so brilliant. It’s okay that you used wrong facts because it’s against Twilight. Those Twilight fans are so wrong for correcting you.
edwardsWIFEisabella-marie-Higginbotham-Dwyer-swan-cullen109gave me props for my images:
“I like that picture you posted of Ron and Harry bound and gagged, stripped nude, with a bloody want pierced through their chests. I don’t know why it keeps getting removed, it’s not even inappropriate! Those Harry Potter fans just love reporting everything that’s against their precious Harry Potter. They’re just immature."
harryharryharryharryallday_thankstoJKROWLING gave me props for my images:
“You posted that pic that says Stephenie Meyer shouldn’t have dreams because Dumbledore said it’s really wrong to have dreams. IT”S SO BRILLIANTLY AMAZING!!! That pic gets posted three times a day, but it needs to be posted 50 times a day until SMEYER finally gets the hint and stops having dreams. I know a doctor so I know that the only way to stop dreams is with lots of drugs. I’ll even pay for them myself if it means that woman will stop having dreams so I can finally have some peace in my life!”
eclipsejacob’sprey_killedbywolves gave me props for my picks:
“I LOVE all those anti picks you posted in the Harry Potter club! They’re wonderful. I especially like the one that asked if you think JKR should have just starved in the streets and never wrote any books so we wouldn’t have to deal with them. That was so clever. I also like the way you defended yourself without cursing like all those HP fans did. That obviously means you’re more mature than them.”
Harrypotterlurvfeverweasley_ravenclar-granger gave me props for my comments:
“Hi I really like the way you verbally attack Twilight fans. The way you threatened their lives by tracking down their IP address and sending them cryptic letter describing how you’re going to kidnap them in their sleep and dismember them limb by limb was so cool. Don’t worry; I’ll have your back if they call the police. I know you’re totally justified because I hate that book too.”
Cullenlife_number1fan_forks gave me props for my articles:
“Hey, that wasn’t fair, the way they were all attacking you because of your spelling. They should have been responding to your comments accusing Harry of substance abuse and Dumbledore’s role in the War in Iraq, but instead they were picking on your spelling. Those monsters! You didn’t deserve that. Oh well, good job on your article!”
slytherin-deadBellatrix_dobby’srevenge gave me props for my articles:
“That was an amazing article. It was really really really long. You said a lot of mean things against Twilight, Stephenie Meyer, her children, and all her fans! THAT’S what makes a good article; we need a lot more of that. I especially like that part where you said Billy should be arrested for allowing Jacob to be shirtless while underage in public, and the part where you complained about Edward not having an English accent even though he’s from Chicago. And that part where you said Carlisle’s a pedophile because he’s 200 years older than his wife, who’s also 3 years older than him. That was so brilliant. It’s okay that you used wrong facts because it’s against Twilight. Those Twilight fans are so wrong for correcting you.
edwardsWIFEisabella-marie-Higginbotham-Dwyer-swan-cullen109gave me props for my images:
“I like that picture you posted of Ron and Harry bound and gagged, stripped nude, with a bloody want pierced through their chests. I don’t know why it keeps getting removed, it’s not even inappropriate! Those Harry Potter fans just love reporting everything that’s against their precious Harry Potter. They’re just immature."
harryharryharryharryallday_thankstoJKROWLING gave me props for my images:
“You posted that pic that says Stephenie Meyer shouldn’t have dreams because Dumbledore said it’s really wrong to have dreams. IT”S SO BRILLIANTLY AMAZING!!! That pic gets posted three times a day, but it needs to be posted 50 times a day until SMEYER finally gets the hint and stops having dreams. I know a doctor so I know that the only way to stop dreams is with lots of drugs. I’ll even pay for them myself if it means that woman will stop having dreams so I can finally have some peace in my life!”
eclipsejacob’sprey_killedbywolves gave me props for my picks:
“I LOVE all those anti picks you posted in the Harry Potter club! They’re wonderful. I especially like the one that asked if you think JKR should have just starved in the streets and never wrote any books so we wouldn’t have to deal with them. That was so clever. I also like the way you defended yourself without cursing like all those HP fans did. That obviously means you’re more mature than them.”
-harry’s hormones went overdrive when he saw this spankin’ hot qurl from the ravenclaw quidditch team.
-being the teenage boy he is, he didn’t make a move until it was the yule ball and it turns out that this d00d cedric asked her out.
-then this d00d died and cho was all “bawwww cedric” but somehow she managed to get over all that because of harry’s eternal glory the strategically placed mistletoe. so they kissed.
-then they dated on valentine’s day in hogsmeade and cho wanted to be all “baww cedric” in front of harry. but harry, being the hormone-driven infatuated teenager he is, was all ears.
-then it ended when harry said he was meeting hermione, because apparently cho’s the only one allowed to talk about someone else in their relationship.
-being the teenage boy he is, he didn’t make a move until it was the yule ball and it turns out that this d00d cedric asked her out.
-then this d00d died and cho was all “bawwww cedric” but somehow she managed to get over all that because of harry’s eternal glory the strategically placed mistletoe. so they kissed.
-then they dated on valentine’s day in hogsmeade and cho wanted to be all “baww cedric” in front of harry. but harry, being the hormone-driven infatuated teenager he is, was all ears.
-then it ended when harry said he was meeting hermione, because apparently cho’s the only one allowed to talk about someone else in their relationship.
