Anime Article: Hetalia rant

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posted by dragonzord1993

I'm going to say this, right here, right now: When it comes to TV shows (that includes anime), I always make sure to watch at least 5 to 6 episodes of a show before judging it (though I kinda made an exception with Power Rangers Turbo, which I watched 10 episodes of).

Anyways, what anime do I hate with a bloody passion? One word: Hetalia. I gave it a try, and the results were... less than desirable.

I'm going to be brutally honest here. I had more fun watching Princess Tutu.
I had more fun watching Transformers Energon.
I had more fun watching the 4Kids dub of One Piece.
I had more fun watching Naruto.
I had more fun watching the cutscenes from Hotel Mario.
I had more fun watching Boku No Pico.
I had more fun watching Shounen Maid Kuro-kun.

No, I'm not kidding (though considering what Boku No Pico and Shounen Maid Kuro-kun are, I kinda wish I was). I got more enjoyment out of watching animated gay child porn than I did watching Hetalia.

The animation was garbage. I've seen plenty of anime where the animation was bad because the animators were too lazy, but with Hetalia, it's as if the animators were trying too hard to make things look cute. And I know that "cute" was what they were going for. However, I like to compare animation tones to chocolate. Some of it is good, but too much of it is just absolutely terrible. I thought that Sonic the Hedgehog: The Movie had bad animation (even though that movie was awesome), but Hetalia just takes the cake.

The characters in Hetalia suck more than a black hole. One thing that's important about anime (along with any other series) is whether or not the characters are likable. One of the reasons why Soul Eater is a good anime is because they give reasons why you should like the characters. Black Star is a good character because he can be cocky, arrogant, and funny at times (not only that, but he's a freaking assassin, and who doesn't love assassins?), and he also cares for his friends, especially his weapon Tsubaki. They also give a backstory for him about where he comes from, how he became a skilled meister, how he became partners with Tsubaki, so on and so forth. Death the Kid, Liz, and Patty are good characters because they can be really badass at times, and funny at others. They also gave a backstory about how they became partners and how Liz and Patty were before they became partners.

As for Hetalia characters like Romano, Germany, Prussia, France, America... why would anyone like these characters? Cause from those 5 to 6 Hetalia episodes I wasted my time on, I saw no reasons to like or care about those characters. Italy is an obnoxious and annoying brat who obsesses over nothing but italian food. Japan was just as flat and lifeless as a blank chalkboard. Germany was extremely idiotic (and not in a good way like Squatt and Baboo from Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers). Quite frankly, the fact that these... (I guess we can call them-) characters have fangirls who will squeal and obsess over them astounds me to no end.

The humor... good god, the humor. I'm going to say this right now before anyone uses the parody argument: there's GOOD satire (The Boondocks, Big Money Hustlas, Spaceballs, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and You Nazty Spy!), and then there's BAD satire (Kickassia, Disaster Movie, Scary Movie 4, The 41-Year-Old Virgin Who Knocked Up Sarah Marshall and Felt Superbad About It, and of course... Hetalia). Almost every single joke in Hetalia is a joke that only 4-year-olds would use. It doesn't matter how many times you fangirls spam the annoying "PASTA!!!" joke. It was never funny to begin with, and it never will be.

The voice acting is horrendous. Now, when I gave Hetalia a try, I watched the english dub by Funimation on Netflix. I love Funimation, and I do think that they can churn out fantastic dubs. However, even their skill at dubbing isn't enough to save the hunk of garbage known as Hetalia. Italy's voice is extremely annoying, Germany is more wooden than a tree, Japan's voice just adds to his lifelessness, the list goes on. Also, since Todd Haberkorn voices Italy, I can never think of characters like Death the Kid and Tsukune Aono the same way ever again.

*is done venting steam* I apologize if this was too much for you to read, but I'm being serious when I say that Hetalia is the WORST anime I've ever seen. It's even worse than Boku No Pico. At least Boku No Pico had decent animation (I'm not hinting at anything with that statement), and even though it made me upchuck last night's dinner, at least Boku No Pico didn't make me feel like I died inside.

I'm done here. I'm going to sign off for now, I'm going to shut everything off, I'm going to jump in my bed, and I'm going to sleep for 6 happy hours while listening to some soothing music since it's currently 12:50 PM where I'm at, and I'm starting to get a little tired from venting all that rage. See you next morning.

May I present to you the WORST of the characters... and the most obsessed over.

Even with the looks of a handsome, noble man, he STILL has all the personality of a brick.

If there's one thing that Hetalia's good at, it's tainting and ruining other series, most of which are far superior.

I used to adore Sailor Moon, but now... *cries* Hetalia has just corrupted a fantastic anime.

What do fangirls see in that pipsqueak Italy? *chomps Tootsie Pop in one bite* The world may never know.

As men, they suck. As women...... they still suck.

alice1919119, egyptprincess7 and 11 others like this

5 more comments

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dragonzord1993 ^ If I ever get suspended, I could just come back on another account (granted, it'd be a pain in the ass to start everything over again, but I'm willing to do it).

dragonzord1993 ^ If they can't recognize opinions, that's their problem, not mine.

LostOblivion If they can't put up with someone's opinion, especially someone's which has obviously had some thought into it, then they more pathetic then I had once thought.

LostOblivion People ignoring and hating people's opinions just because they are conflicting opinions, I can't stand such patheticness and will deal with anyone I see who does this personally(well as personnel as you can get over the internet). I may have to stoop down to their levels but if thats what it takes I will have no problem doing it if it leads to a better community. I see no reason for you to apologize Kadaj you said to take it down to protect someone, that I find cool and what I like to see in people I can put faith in :)

timcanpyotaku thats just messed up. hetalia is funny, if you dont like it or cant make sense of it its because its....a.....comedy.

dragonzord1993 ^ ... that's just... what? So apparently, I don't find it funny because it's a comedy? Last time I checked, I'm SUPPOSED to find comedies funny. Hell, one of my favorite movies is a horror comedy. Like I said, Hetalia isn't funny, and it fails as a comedy (in fact, it fails as ANYTHING).

5Froots3 I'm glad you state your opinion! My friends are WAY to obessesed with Hetalia, I watched the first few episodes and didn't feel like watching the rest. I did watch the entire serious JUST to understand what they were talking about! I actually like the fanfictions and the character songs of Hetalia but not really the series. But, seriosly Hetalia has been blown up to WAY more than what it really is by fans, I enjoy what the fans have to say about the series than the series itself. (If my friends see this post, I'm dead LOL) any way thanks for the article, it's intresting to think of the different points you bring up!

animegurl23 i dont get the deal about this show, i watched the first ep and im like WTH!??!? so thank you

dragonzord1993 ^ You're welcome. And that's nothing. I watched through TWENTY episodes of Hetalia, and I every time they pulled a joke off, I'd just ask myself "When does this shit get funny?" The only joke that was even REMOTELY funny was the "summoning the devil" moment in Episode 5, and even then, all it got out of me was a smile. No laughter whatsoever.

Happy-kun123 I totally disagree with your opinion, I personally think Hetalia is badass! I have a few friends who aren't into Hetalia and I can respect that, but maybe you just don't get it because you're used to watching anime that's all plot, and full of meaning, and seriousness, and these elaborately crafted witty jokes. But that's what I love about Hetalia, it's not really any of that! It's hard for me to explain this briefly but I'll try: To me, Hetalia is an anime where the fans make a lot of the magic. This show spurs their imagination (not to mention makes History class your new favorite subject and makes the world map seem like one big orgy in my case, ho ho ho~) Although Hetalia is really random and silly (which I love because I'm rather air-headed and random myself) you can't even imagine how many fanfics there are about the real struggles and angst that a country can go through, such as the Revolutionary War or the real horrors of WWI and II. The anime's ambiguous and (dare I say) half-ass art work leaves a lot of creativity with the fanart as well. Remember, life doesn't have a plot and I find it refreshing when TV shows portray the randomness of life. As for the 'annoying' characters in Hetalia, I happened to find each and every one of them endearing and I quickly fell in love with them, especially Russia. He's my favorite country. (You said you liked Sailor Moon? Well remember that Usagi had the same whiny, stupid, and 'weak' personality as Italy in the beginning of Sailor Moon) I shall thank you, however, for exposing me to that really cool Hetalia/Sailor Moon pic, it made my bloody day! P.S. Boku no Pico rocks too! I love shota yaoi (Any yaoi really!) I'm not a pedo because little kids, at least the ones I know, have an unpleasant attitude (we all know those mini Niki Minaj's), are ugly, always want to talk to me, and spit in my face while they talk. I mean like seriously, kids, get some braces, or a retainer or SOMETHING! Sorry, I'm getting off topic :P And how do you have so much to say about Boku no Pico anyway? If you hated it so much you would have X-ed it out during the first scene (maybe you really loved it deep down inside, ho ho ho ho ho~) Peace and Love~

dragonzord1993 ^ So your excuse for Hetalia is that it's nothing more than light-hearted funny jokes with no plot or story whatsoever? News-flash: Plot is one of the most important things in anything ever. I didn't read Stephen King's The Eyes of the Dragon just for shits and giggles. I read it because the story was compelling, interesting, and kept me from putting the book down. Hetalia is basically the anime version of Violent Shit in that there's no plot or story whatsoever, and it's basically over an hour of (in Violent Shit's case) mindless killing scenes and (in Hetalia's case) racist, unfunny jokes. To quote the Cinema Snob, "I'm sure this looked good on paper, if you smoked the paper afterwards". Now, don't get me wrong, there are shows I like that are basically nothing but mindless fun and humor. However, two things. 1) I haven't seen a single anime that's basically mindless fun and humor (unless you count FLCL, but that anime at least gives an explanation for all the shit that happens). 2) I've seen plenty of american cartoons that are just mindless fun and humor that are SIGNIFICANTLY superior to Hetalia, such as Chowder, Ed Edd n' Eddy, and The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog. Also, I might add that Hetalia isn't the first time that education has been combined with entertainment. Six words: Mario is Missing, Mario's Time Machine. (I'm going to assume that you're familiar with the Mario franchise) Many Mario fans consider them (along with Hotel Mario) the worst Mario games of all, which I agree with. Those two games, along with Hetalia, are basically textbook-examples (no pun intended) of why education and entertainment spell disaster when put together. And you're probably going to ask "Isn't The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog educational?", in which the answer will be yes. However, it didn't teach you about historical things like the Civil War. Instead, it taught you about things that you needed to learn as a kid, such as getting in a car with strangers, drugs and alcohol, and sexual harassment. Endearing? I'm sorry, but I'm currently laughing my ass off as I type this response. Saying that the 'characters' in Hetalia are endearing is like saying that Edward Cullen from Twilight is an interesting character. Every single character in Hetalia sucks shit. Yes, Serena (yes, I use the english names) is basically whiny and stupid like Italy at first, but throughout the series, she starts to change a little. It's what we people with brains like to call "Character Development". When it comes to characters, you need reasons to like the characters. Take a look at one of my favorite anime characters: Vash the Stampede from Trigun. He's an ace gunman who can be funny, serious, sympathetic, goofy, clumsy, badass, and even a little pervy at times. He's almost like several different personalities wrapped into one body. Also, his backstory is very compelling, and makes you feel sympathetic towards him. As for every single character in Hetalia, I see no reason to even care for them. I'm seriously not kidding when I say that you'd find more character development in the Sentinel robots from the X-Men comics (and I think you and I both know how sad it is when your characters are even LESS likable than an obligatory foot-soldier). The only character with ANY development at all is Alfred F. Jones, A.K.A. America, but even then, it's only a little bit, and it takes about five 'episodes' to explain that development. A competent, entertaining, and well-written anime such as Trigun or Gun X Sword would've given you reasons to like EVERY character (unless one of them is meant to be unlikable) and would've explained why in less than one or two episodes. Boku No Pico sucks just as much shit as Hetalia does. The fact that there are people like you out there that get off to sick shit like Boku No Pico makes me want to wretch. I have a little something called curiosity, which everyone in this world has. I've seen some raw reactions to Boku No Pico, and thus, I decided "What the hell?". After suffering through those three episodes, I now know what people mean when they say "curiosity killed the cat". And one more thing. Ivan (PTX-40A from Lost Planet) > Ivan (Russia from Shitalia)

dragonzord1993 ^ I have a "Look of Doom"?

YukiS Its based of history and mother fudging country's how the fudge can you give something based off real life a plot!

kazamiuchihafan I think nobody likes hetalia the first time they watch it.... it takes some time to get used to it.

dragonzord1993 @YukiS You know how movies are sometimes based off of real events, such as A Bridge Too Far, Helter Skelter, Gettysburg, Behind Enemy Lines, and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (yes, that movie was based off of actual murders in the USA)? @kasamiuchihafan The first time, I watched five episodes. Hetalia sucked ass. The second time, I watched 15 more episodes. Hetalia STILL sucked ass (hence this second rant: http://www.fanpop.com/spots/the-rant-spot/articles/147488/title/hetalia-rant-2-electric-boogaloo).

ChristianaKAT I'm a Hetalia fan but I think it's great that you stated your own opinion. I'm not one of those fans that would kind of corner you if you don't like the show. I also agree that they sort of took the cuteness to far. I mean they gave one of the manliest one of the girliest backgrounds. Also alot of us like the voices and characteristics of the characters because of the stereotipical aspects of these characters. The characters are really just mention to be that stereotypes. I think that is what drags us in other times people just like the cuteness of it all and then there are just some that are in it for everything, but there are also the yaoi fans (not really a fan of yaoi myself). Yes, the anime has it's bad terms but alot of people find a way to like it. Honestly my biggest problem are the really serious fangirls they blow alot of stuff out of preportion. Personally I believe your opinion is just fine and just as important as Hetalia fans. It's not like one anime/manga can have 100% fans. My apologies if this is quite long. Thank-you for reading my thoughts. :)

anime1g please take this down no one want to hear your opinion and no one will i hope you get suspended, i didn't even read the article cause i thought it was garbage total and utterly garbage when you said that why would you even watch the rest when you don't like it and you had to write this stupid ass stuff , i despise people like they piss me off and GO GET A LIFE WOULD YA

shadow394 TAKE.THIS.SHIT.DOWN. Just like anime1g said I LOVE HETALIA...THIS IS JUST MEAN >:''( You people piss me off go do something else with your life then to take it out on the most best loved anime on the charts, I mean who in there right minds would be so cruel harassing anime fans everywhere on the globe reading this...if you don't like HETALIA then you can go suck it...WHY WOULD PEOPLE WRITE THIS STUPID ASS STUFF.......OH YAH AND ONE MORE THING FAGGOTS ITALY IS ADORABLE MAYBE ANNOYING BUT HE HAS A GREAT HUMOR ADDED TO HIM....GET ON WITH YOUR LIFES THEN F-CKING AROUND WITH HETALIA DAMN PEOPLE THESE DAYS....... -_______-

LostOblivion so butthurt Hetalia fans? Nothing out of the ordinary here. ¬¬

KissKissHannah Opinion respected.

trole hue

YukiChioba I completely agree with this. Hetalia is plain bullshit in itself, served on a plastic tray. The characters, plot, and the fucking fandom...Dear lord the fandom is Nothing but a whiny, retarted group of idiots who will cry if you insult their little sparkly animuuuu. I do like the idea of personification, seeing as I constantly make art of gijinka Pokémon and Sonic Characters...But if you're trying to personify nations...Well.MAKE IT FUCKING ACCURATE!!! WW2 was a tragic time, The Nazis, The bombings, The holocaust...Not all 'OMGGZZ GAY SPARKLEZZ AND UNICORNZZZ' like the anime seems to say. I love anime, but Hetalia is ruining its reputation.

1hetafacts1 Ooof You like boku no pico better? My fandom has gone wrong

1hetafacts1 Ps. I am not a hetalia Nazi you have every right to hate hetalia We tore apart out own fandom we deserve this

1hetafacts1 Yah, don't take this down!!! This is explaining why you don't like it and it is freedom of speech (throws constitution at hetalia Nazis )

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Hundreds of anime characters rushed through the hallway trying to get to their next classes."damnit,where the hell is al,he's gonna be late for class again...." a sho- er I mean,fun sized blonde boy asked looking around the classroom.it was their second day of 8th grade and their father,hoenheim had told them to try their hardest this year.even though he'd been a state alchemist for a whole year now(A/N: to all fma fans,this is an AU fic so all the characters still have parents and are 11-15 instead of 17 or 20....),their parents still thought they needed a good...

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Lately, alot of people have been calling other people weebos. Yet, if I were to be called this, it wouldn't offend me. Because I know that that isn't true. I am obsessed with anime, very true, but Is doesn't anime let me escape from all the sh!t in my life? Sure, I spend all my time surfing the web for anime, but I beleive this word 'weebo' simply does not excist. We watch anime, because it is a better reality, it is an escape from reality. The word 'weebo', does not excist to me. We simply are not weebo's because we watch anime and listen to japanese music, we simply think that its a better place to be or something better to listen to. So if you are obsessed with japanese culture, you are not a weebo, you are just someone who is smart enough to see that the japanese culture is much more enjoyable then what you live in. So be proud
and enjoy escaping from the drama! :D

And that concludes my article, Anime: Escape From Reality.

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Voiced by: Yuki Kaida (drama CD), Hiromi Igarashi (anime)[1]
Satsuki’s nephew, the son of Satsuki's older brother, and a middle school student who enjoys dressing like a girl. Likes "cute things", and being the center of attention. His androgynous features allow him to pass off as a girl and his female persona is well-known as a cute internet idol. Aoi enjoys toying with the feelings of men, but is eventually exposed as a boy by Misaki. He is generally short-tempered and has little patience. He becomes embarrassed after doing something kind or showing...

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*I am known as Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz Gombigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andri Charton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser III. Dont hesitate to call.
Vash the Stampede (Trigun)
*Theres no way a mere, handsome, SEXY, merchant like me could use something like Banki!.
Urahara Kisuke (Bleach)
And so it all begins. This boy's name is Yusuke. He's 14 years old and is supposed to be the hero of the story...but oddly enough, he's dead.
Narrator (Yu Yu Hakusho)
*So tell me, what's it like living in a constant haze of stupidity?
Hiei (Yu Yu Hakusho)
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Kang Hyun Da....my created and favourite character

Well for some reason,my hand is not very steady so some of my pictures are blur.But I took alot of effort to draw this out.I got some anime pictures of other animes and some of then are created by me.BTW,ZORO RORONOA!!YOU STOLD MY PICTURE!!!AND MY ART!!!HOW DARE YOU!!!Anyways,I don't really draw that much anime nowadays cuz my brain can't even think of anything.But still...I'm back on buiness drawing again.....I know its weird drawings and yet my pencil sketching is TOO light.....But I want to make this quick in..-_-".BTW,I'm a Korean and I have been drawing manga and anime since when i was 6 years old,quite a tomboy now.....But still,you don't really wanna mess with a girl thats know Karate,Kickboxing and Win Chun.NOW,let's present the art studio of Hyuna Lim Jing Er!!!

Fubuki......my favourite laughing ever made character

Ginga Hagane...form Metal Fight Beyblade

Another Kang Hyun Da......only smaller and cooler

Jade/Jaeger...from Kinnikuman?Ultimate Muscle

Kevin Mask...A bit blur...-_-"from Kinnikuman

Hyunari Kira...this is me..but I change my real name..hehe.Only girl that is created by me

Kid Kenyon/Terry Kenyon...For some reason he is also from Kinnikuman

Kyouya Tategami......A bit cocky and cuz my hand was a bit sliding...-_-"from Metal Fight beyblade

Black Leg Sanji..I KNOW ITS BLUR!!!From One Piece

Sonic the hedgehog..This time I did it well

Toramaru Utsunomiya....um from Inazuma Eleven

Yami Mutou..from Yu Gi Oh

Yoshimaru Itsuga...Zoro_Roronoa!! I'M GONNA KILL YOU CUZ YOU STOLD MY YOSHI!!BTW,he has no proof if he drew it or not..

Yoya Karazu....I created him when I was about um.....13 years old

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And last that dont even need to be post it..yet I did it for fun..Haibara Kamisana

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One thing that i feel i need to clear up is watching this does not make you a pervert. Kissxsis is funny as hell thoug i can be pretty disturbing. I mean i am the biggest anti pervert i know and i still laughed mt ass of the entire series through.

This next part is about season two question i hear around the web. NO NO NO NO! Ova was not season two or anything it comes bundled with the manga in Japan in other words Ova is still coming out. The next episode is supposed to be released in November with the sixth volume.

Any other questions post them here and i will either put them in here or add another article.

ps i made the images myself and this is also where my icon is from. i (screenshotted them)

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