Five years later, sixteen, and the experience of it still torments me.
I suffer sleepless nights in the dark, waking up from the strangest nightmares known to man.
The site of the body still clings to me like the stench of misery. It makes me wonder, all through this time, what actually keeps the average human going?
All we are is dead in the end anyways.
I mean, It’s not exactly like people get the opportunity to really DO something with their lives anymore. Like, for example, something heroic: slaying a dragon, assassinating the one who desires to kill and rule with tyranny, or maybe be the survivor of a zombie apocalypse.
I want to die meaning something, I want to die unforgotten.
People die all the time, somewhere in the world, and it’s not like we know who they are.
Just a speck on the timeline of eternity.
However, I believe that my sister’s death was MORE than what it seemed. It feels like there’s an actual story behind it. Something more than a person could ever imagine.
A story waiting to be unfolded by the hands of another.
A story meant for me.
I stood outside the doorway, too scared to go in and see the memory’s ghost the experience has left behind in my mind. I did this every night, just peeking in every so often now and then, thinking about what awaits me, and yet not owning the ability to actually take action on anything.
They hadn’t cleaned out her room, despite the fact it’s been around five years since it happened. Either, they were too lazy, too scared(like me), or didn’t want to face the pain it would bring.
Then a thought occured: Maybe they just didn’t give a shit anymore...
Not like they ever did.
I care.
“This is it, this is the time to restore your sister’s memory..” I whispered to myself, I looked down.
“She deserves to be remembered, to be cared for, you can do this.”
And the anger pierced me, like a dagger of delicate rage. They didn’t give a shit, did they? They should, damn it! Everyone should!
I wanted to kill them, I wanted to kill them all, while restoring my sister’s memory as well.
I bursted through her bedroom door, and ransacked the place.
Finally, I found them.
Her collection of diaries, journals, her sketch pads, and stories.
All that revealed her as the once-talented girl she was.
And maybe they held hints to the stories she hid behind.
The images that played in my mind every time I went to sleep.
Dreams about her adventures.
I suffer sleepless nights in the dark, waking up from the strangest nightmares known to man.
The site of the body still clings to me like the stench of misery. It makes me wonder, all through this time, what actually keeps the average human going?
All we are is dead in the end anyways.
I mean, It’s not exactly like people get the opportunity to really DO something with their lives anymore. Like, for example, something heroic: slaying a dragon, assassinating the one who desires to kill and rule with tyranny, or maybe be the survivor of a zombie apocalypse.
I want to die meaning something, I want to die unforgotten.
People die all the time, somewhere in the world, and it’s not like we know who they are.
Just a speck on the timeline of eternity.
However, I believe that my sister’s death was MORE than what it seemed. It feels like there’s an actual story behind it. Something more than a person could ever imagine.
A story waiting to be unfolded by the hands of another.
A story meant for me.
I stood outside the doorway, too scared to go in and see the memory’s ghost the experience has left behind in my mind. I did this every night, just peeking in every so often now and then, thinking about what awaits me, and yet not owning the ability to actually take action on anything.
They hadn’t cleaned out her room, despite the fact it’s been around five years since it happened. Either, they were too lazy, too scared(like me), or didn’t want to face the pain it would bring.
Then a thought occured: Maybe they just didn’t give a shit anymore...
Not like they ever did.
I care.
“This is it, this is the time to restore your sister’s memory..” I whispered to myself, I looked down.
“She deserves to be remembered, to be cared for, you can do this.”
And the anger pierced me, like a dagger of delicate rage. They didn’t give a shit, did they? They should, damn it! Everyone should!
I wanted to kill them, I wanted to kill them all, while restoring my sister’s memory as well.
I bursted through her bedroom door, and ransacked the place.
Finally, I found them.
Her collection of diaries, journals, her sketch pads, and stories.
All that revealed her as the once-talented girl she was.
And maybe they held hints to the stories she hid behind.
The images that played in my mind every time I went to sleep.
Dreams about her adventures.
Hope you mates will like it =3
Feel free to comment
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I'm looking at the black ceiling, in this empty room I sit.
I'm leaning my back on cold wall where light of the sun can't reach me.
I don't have any peace, same pictures are repeating in my head.
The grey clouds rise above and I'm goin out for the rain.
Let the cold drops from the skies give me peace and break my sadness.
But even hard rain can't clear thoughts of you.
And feels like I'm falling in deep abyss, dark water swallowing me as I close my eyes and turn my head up to sky.
It's eating my mind, taking away my dreams.
Oh please pull me out, stay with me.
Today I'm not goin out, I'll reamin in the dark waiting for you.
I'll defy to all my desires cause I can't ask anymore from you.
I'll be singing only for you my angel.
Oh please pull me out, stay with me.
Feel free to comment
------------
I'm looking at the black ceiling, in this empty room I sit.
I'm leaning my back on cold wall where light of the sun can't reach me.
I don't have any peace, same pictures are repeating in my head.
The grey clouds rise above and I'm goin out for the rain.
Let the cold drops from the skies give me peace and break my sadness.
But even hard rain can't clear thoughts of you.
And feels like I'm falling in deep abyss, dark water swallowing me as I close my eyes and turn my head up to sky.
It's eating my mind, taking away my dreams.
Oh please pull me out, stay with me.
Today I'm not goin out, I'll reamin in the dark waiting for you.
I'll defy to all my desires cause I can't ask anymore from you.
I'll be singing only for you my angel.
Oh please pull me out, stay with me.
This is a true event. It happened on 1/22/12. I just rewrote it as a short story.
I was in the snow.
Kevin, Noah, Mackenzie, and Jake were there too.
Kevin wanted to play Ice Yeti, a game in which some people are tackled, and the others are the tacklers. I was a tackler along with Kevin and Jake. Kevin said he and Jake would go after Mackenzie, and that I should get Noah. I blushed a little. I like Noah. A lot. We started out, splitting into two groups. Noah was fast, but he got tired quickly. He suddenly turned around, and we collided. We were in the snow, me on top of him. He grinned up at me, his brown eyes shining. I knew at that moment how much he liked me too. I could see in his eyes the longing. He wanted to kiss me, right then and there. But the others were still around... watching. He sat up, and I was then in his lap. He helped me up, giving my fingers a squeeze, and we continued our game.
I was in the snow.
Kevin, Noah, Mackenzie, and Jake were there too.
Kevin wanted to play Ice Yeti, a game in which some people are tackled, and the others are the tacklers. I was a tackler along with Kevin and Jake. Kevin said he and Jake would go after Mackenzie, and that I should get Noah. I blushed a little. I like Noah. A lot. We started out, splitting into two groups. Noah was fast, but he got tired quickly. He suddenly turned around, and we collided. We were in the snow, me on top of him. He grinned up at me, his brown eyes shining. I knew at that moment how much he liked me too. I could see in his eyes the longing. He wanted to kiss me, right then and there. But the others were still around... watching. He sat up, and I was then in his lap. He helped me up, giving my fingers a squeeze, and we continued our game.