Theme song >>>> link
Seanthehedgehog presents
Season 2 Highlights of
Ponies On The Rails
Starring
Peirce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog
Red Rose From Chibiemmy
Honey Bee From NaomiWinx
Coffee Creme From KarinaBrony
Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09
Metal Gloss From DragonAura15
Stylo From Jimmythedragon
Gordon, Percy, Jeff, Bartholomew, and Pete from Seanthehedgehog
Hawkeye: *stops train at station* Hi. I think you know where this is going. For ten episodes of this season, I have made many readers of this series very happy, and gave them a good laugh.Though personally, I thought season 1 was better, I still enjoyed Season 2. Now let's take a look at some of the highlights we all enjoyed
Red Rose: GORDON!!!!
Gordon: What?
Red Rose: What do you think you're doing?!
Gordon: Having a sandwich. I'm hungry.
Red Rose: Well you are not on lunch break yet, get your ass back in the train, and push those cars down the hump.
Gordon: How do you hump a freight car?
Red Rose: UUUGH!!!
---------------
Pete: You all did an excellent job. Tomorrow, none of you need to come into work.
Ponies: Oh sweet.
Pete: But.....
Ponies: *Waiting*
Pete: I do need two volunteers to work the night shift.
Gordon: The night shift, how do you do that?
Pete: You got to carry a train of Chevy's to a dealership in St. Foalis. You can ride another train back here when it's done, and enjoy your day off.
Hawkeye: I'll do it.
Pete: You'll need a fireman. Anyone will do.
Hawkeye: Ok, uh Red Rose?
Red Rose: Sorry, I got a date with my husband.
Hawkeye: Ok. Honey?
Honey: Nope. I have guitar practice.
Coffee Creme: What about me?
Hawkeye: But you said you were afraid of the dark.
Coffee Creme: Not anymore. I can do it.
-----------------------------
A train was refueling on the main line, and the driver, and fireman were relaxing in the caboose.
Conductor: You two better get out soon.
Driver: Who cares? This is good hot chocolate.
Fireman: He's right. Let's get back to our engine. *gets out*
Driver: *Follows*
They got out just in time.
Hawkeye: Oooh shi- *crashes*
Luckily no one was hurt
Episode 12
Coffee Creme: *Climbs into cab*
Gordon: *drives*
They pull the broken down engine to the servicing facility.
Gordon: This is it. Nice work bitch.
Coffee Creme: You're welcome fuckface *walks out of cab*
Jeff: Coffee Creme! I heard what you called Gordon. That wasn't very nice.
Coffee Creme: Pfft, whatever. *walks away*
Jeff: Gordon. What did you do to her?
Gordon: Nothing. I just called her fuckface, and-
Jeff: No. Unacceptable.
------------------------------
Coffee Creme: Should I still act like Gordon, or just be myself?
Ghost: Be Gordon!
Coffee Creme: Ah! What are you doing here? Ghosts don't exist.
Ghost: This is a dream you nincompoop. Anything can happen in a dream.
Coffee Creme: Such as?
Ghost: Such as seeing you float, even though nothing is making you do that.
Coffee Creme: *floating in mid air* Whoa!!
Ghost: And you could spin around while you're up there.
Coffee Creme: *spinning around* Stop the spinning! Please!!
Ghost: Ugh, fine. Only because you said please.
Coffee Creme: *lands in bed* So you really think I should be like Gordon?
Ghost: Yes. He's always a douchebag towards you, and other ponies, isn't he?
Coffee Creme: Yeah. Sometimes anyway.
Ghost: Then act like him tomorrow, and teach him a lesson.
Coffee Creme: Ok. I will.
-----------------------------
Gordon: *walking to train yard*
Hawkeye: Hey!
Gordon: What do you want?
Hawkeye: You. *grabs chain*
Gordon: What's with the chain?
Hawkeye: I'll be asking the questions. What did you do to Coffee Creme two days ago?
Gordon: Go screw yourself!
The rest is going to be violent, and left out of the story
Episode 13
Pete: Hawkeye, I see you finished your toughest task.
Hawkeye: Toughest task?
Pete: That engine you were driving is going to be scrapped.
Hawkeye: Oooh.
Pete: You'll be alright about that, won't you?
Hawkeye: Eh, yeah. Sure. Just let me... GO ON A RAGE!!
Pete: Pierce?
Hawkeye: AAH!! *runs away*
Pete: This can't be good.
--------------------------------
Hawkeye: AAHH!!
Gordon: *Walks up to Hawkeye* Hey! Nopony is supposed to do idiotic things but me.
Hawkeye: Fuck off Gordon, I'm in a bad mood right now.
Gordon: No, I'm not fucking off, I just want to know why you're acting like this.
Hawkeye: Pete is scrapping a steam engine.
Gordon: Ha! It's about time. In your face asshole!!
Hawkeye: *jumps in truck*
Gordon: Hey, where do you think you're going?
Hawkeye: *Drives away*
Gordon: Hey, you nearly hit me!
----------------------------------------
Coffee Creme: *Arrives at bar*
Stallions: Ooh, it's a mare.
Coffee Creme: Bonjour.
Stallions: And she's french. Why don't we go to my house, and do it?
Coffee Creme: No thanks.
Hawkeye: Coffee Creme? Did you come here to get drunk with me?
Coffee Creme: No, the complete opposite of that. We need you back at the Union Pacific. I don't care if you say no, you're coming with me.
Hawkeye: Ok.
Coffee Creme: Wow, I didn't think you'd take it that easy. Let's get going then.
Hawkeye: But I'm drunk. How am I supposed to drive a train?
Coffee Creme: Leave it to me. *Slaps Hawkeye*
Hawkeye: *becomes sober* Ok, that hurt, but at least it worked. Let's go. *runs out of bar*
Episode 14
Jeff: *uncouples car* Check your speed.
Gordon: Checking speed.
Hawkeye: RAINBOW
Jeff: Rainbow?
Gordon: *stops train* Holy shit, that looks beautiful.
Red Rose: Yes, it does.
Jeff: But, we gotta switch the freight cars!
Gordon: Fuck that, we're watching a rainbow.
Jeff: Hawkeye, tell him to behave!
Hawkeye: But he is.
Jeff: *sighs* You guys continue without me. *walks away*
Gordon: What the fuck is his problem?
Hawkeye: I don't know. He's not even looking at the rainbow.
------------------------------
Pete: Jeff, what are you doing?
Jeff: I am sulking in my own depression.
Pete: Come on, don't be depressed. I had to deal with a bunch of ponies like that 20 years ago you know.
Jeff: Yeah. How old are you?
Pete: 30.
Jeff: Oh.
Pete: What about you?
Jeff: 15. I've been working for you since '49. Everything has been going the way I always wanted it to be. My way, but then a fucking rainbow showed up out of nowhere today. I was telling Gordon, Hawkeye, and Red Rose what to do, when they all stopped their work just to watch it.
Pete: It was pretty beautiful, wasn't it?
Jeff: I didn't see the rainbow.
Pete: Well that explains it.
Jeff: No, the reason I'm upset is because it made those three stop working.
Pete: That's just stupid. Go with Percy, and fix the main line to Pocatello.
--------------------------
Jeff: Enough with the rainbow!! I DAMN IT TO HELL!!! FUCK RAINBOWS, AND FUCK THIS ONE FOR RUINING OUR WORK!!
The rainbow then caught on fire, and disappeared.
Gordon: It's gone! *Cries* YOU MADE THE RAINBOW CATCH ON FIRE, AND DIE!! *Runs away*
Hawkeye: Wait, Gordon! It's not dead! *Chases Gordon*
Gordon: YES IT IS!!
Hawkeye: No Gordon. I promise you it's not. How can you kill a rainbow? Look.
The rainbow reappeared.
Jeff: Shit! *kicks building* Ow, my hoof.
Episode 15
Pete: Gordon, you must-
Gordon: *Sleeping*
Pete: Gordon.
Gordon: *Waking up* Ah, blowjob!!
Pete: Excuse me?
Gordon: I was having a dream that Honey was giving me a blowjob.
Honey: Ew! Nopony would do that for you.
Pete: Gordon, you're suspended from work for a week.
Gordon: Whatever *Walks away*
Pete: After you do your work.
Gordon: Say what now?
Pete: You are going into North Platte Nebraska to deliver some new cars by Canterlot into Omaha.
Gordon: Fuck that, I want to be suspended from work now.
Pete: Either you deliver those cars to Omaha or you're fired.
Gordon: Fine. I'll do it your way.
-----------------------------
Pete: *Looks around* Where has Gordon gone?
Honey: I don't know sir.
Pete: Well, he better hurry back. He's supposed to pull this train before being suspended from work.
Gordon: *Arrives* I can't find a turkey.
Pete: Forget about that, and drive this train.
Gordon: But-
Pete: *Pointing at train* Drive the train that my hoof is pointing to.
Gordon: *Walks to engine* I just wanted to find a turkey.
Pete: Hawkeye, and Coffee Creme are dealing with that. You just have to go to Omaha to deliver cars.
Gordon: *Climbing in engine* Whatever.
Honey: *Blows horn*
Gordon: *drives train*
Pete: Idiot.
Gordon: *Qiuckly reverses train back to station* What did you call me?
Pete: Nothing.
Gordon: Ok. *Drives train again*
Honey: Whoops. I forgot to blow the horn twice.
Gordon: That's stupid, so fuck it.
------------------------------
Gordon: *Delivers train of Canterlot's* Excellent. We got all the cars to the dealership in time. Now we just need to find-
Song: link
Turkey: *Walks on train tracks*
Gordon: A turkey. *Chases Turkey*
Turkey: Gobble gobble gobble *Running away*
Honey: Gordon, leave him alone!
Gordon: No! *Continues chasing turkey* Get the hell over here!
Turkey: *Running between engine, and cars*
Gordon: Shit *Uncouples engines from cars* Honey, drive!
Honey: *Drives engine*
Gordon: *Runs across tracks*
Turkey: Gobble gobble *gets on engine*
Gordon: STOP!!
Honey: *stops engine*
Turkey: *Hops off engine* Gobble gobble gobble gobble.
Gordon: Yeah, I'd like to see you gobble when I roast your ass for Thanksgiving.
Turkey: *Running away*
Gordon: *Dives for turkey*
Turkey: gobble *turns left*
Gordon: *Lands on ground* Motherbucker.
Turkey: *Pecking on Gordon*
Gordon: Quit it! *Chokes turkey*
Turkey: *Pecks Gordon in the eye*
Gordon: Ow! *Drops turkey*
Turkey: Gobble gobble! *Runs away*
Honey: I told you to leave him alone.
Gordon: Fuck you *Chases turkey*
Now they were running around the engines that Honey was driving.
Honey: *Watching*
Turkey: gobble gobble *Running*
Gordon: *Chasing turkey*
Turkey: Gobble gobble *Runs in cab*
Gordon: *getting tired* Where did he go?
Turkey: *puts engine in reverse*
Gordon: *On train tracks* Ah! *Running from engine*
Turkey: Gobble gobble *Makes engine go faster*
Gordon: *Running slower* I'm so tired.
Turkey: *Runs over Gordon*
Gordon: AAHH! *pushed off tracks*
Turkey: *Stops engine*
Honey: Hahahahahaha! *Points at Gordon* You got hit by a train, driven by a turkey.
Gordon: *Heals himself with magic* Where is that thing?
Turkey: *Runs out of cab*
Gordon: Aha *Runs after turkey*
Turkey: Gobble gobble *Running towards dealership*
Gordon: *Catches turkey* Got you. And now, you're going to get what you deserve. *Takes turkey into cab*
Honey: What are you doing with that?
Gordon: *Grabs gun* Killing him. *Shoots turkey*
Turkey: Aah! *Dies*
Episode 16
Gordon: *Shows up* Hey. What are you two doing?
Hawkeye: Nothing, what are you doing?
Gordon: You're standing. That's not doing nothing.
Hawkeye: You didn't answer my question.
Gordon: I don't have to. You lied to me.
Coffee Creme: If you really want to know what we're doing, we are standing by a heater.
Gordon: And you gotta let me be there with you.
Hawkeye: Yeah, no. The heater is blowing a narrow section of warm air to us, and there's not enough room for you.
Gordon: Don't care *Pushes Coffee Creme*
Coffee Creme: Whoa! *Falls on heater*
The heater then broke
Gordon: Great, look what you've done.
Coffee Creme: You pushed me!
Gordon: You fell.
Coffee Creme: Because you pushed me.
Hawkeye: *Sighs* Sometimes, I feel like I'm the only pony who does the right thing here.
--------------------------------
Coffee Creme: I found a can *Takes can* Hmm.
Hawkeye: What is it?
Coffee Creme: 1943! These beans are from World War 2.
Hawkeye: That's also the year Percy started working for this railroad. I wonder how his dad is doing.
Meanwhile at Percy's dad's house
Dan: *On phone*
Operator: Hello?
Dan: Yes *Carrying toothpaste* I bought your Colgate toothpaste. The one with tartar control. And it made me feel, like a piece of shit!
Back on the Union Pacific
Coffee Creme: Yeah, he's fine *Cooking beans*
Hawkeye: Man. *Yawns* I don't know why, but... I feel a little drowsy. *Falls asleep*
Coffee Creme: Pierce?! Oh no. *Runs off*
-----------------------------------
Pete: *Walks in* Coffee Creme? What are you doing?
Coffee Creme: Pete. Hawkeye passed out, and now he turned into a ghost!
Pete: Impossible. I just saw him working at the train yards, which is Orion's job. Where is he anyway?
Coffee Creme: I don't know. *Hears banging noise* Wait a minute *Runs into kitchen*
Pete: *Follows* Oh my god! There are beans everywhere!
Coffee Creme: *eating beans from can* 1943. A good year for beans.
Pete: You were cooking beans?!
Coffee Creme: Uh, yeah? Gordon pushed me into the heater here, and I had no other way to stay warm.
Pete: And where is Gordon?!
Inside the bathroom
Gordon: This is very warm. I'm so glad the both of us went in here.
Orion: Yes, I agree. *Hearing hoofsteps* We better get in the stalls. *Gets in stall*
Gordon: *Gets in stall*
Pete: *Arrives* Alright, come on out of those stalls!
Gordon & Orion: *Standing still*
Pete: *Knocking on stall door*
Gordon: *speaking with japanese accent* Herro? Reave me arone.
Pete: Is that you Orion?
Gordon: No, I am Sakutaki Konnichiwa. Now reave me arone so that I can poop in peace.
Pete: *Breaks stall door open*
Gordon: *standing on toilet* *Still speaking with a japanese accent* This is not what it rooks rike.
Episode 17
Hawkeye: Goodnight Metal Gloss.
Metal Gloss: Goodnight Hawkeye.
Hawkeye: *Sits at table* Ah. *grabs pencil, and paper* Dear Father. How are you? It's been a while since I got your last message, and I decided to write back to you. We just got a new worker named Metal Gloss. She's an engineer just like me, and she kind of reminds me of my first christmas on the Union Pacific...
---------------------------------
Red Rose: Attention, we have a out of control chemical car in the yard.
Hawkeye: *Stops train* Ugh. I hope this never happens again.
Worker: *Jumps on car* Ok, now to apply the brakes *Breaks brake* AAAHH!! *Goes to alternative brakes* This car must stop *Applying alternative brakes* Don't crash, please!!
The chemical car slowly went towards a locomotive, and stopped.
Worker: Ah, thank goodness. For a moment I thought the car was going to expl-
The chemical car explodes
Worker: *Flying in air* AAAAAAAGGGHHHH!!
------------------------------------
Hawkeye: *sees three ponies walking towards them* Seems like our work is attracting a crowd.
Percy: *Sees ponies* Those are the ones that derailed this train.
Gangsters: *grab guns*
Hawkeye: They got guns!
Gangsters: *Shooting near Percy*
Percy: Get the revolver under your seat.
Hawkeye: There's a revolver under here? What kind of a railroad is this? *Grabs revolver*
Percy: Just do it.
Hawkeye: *Shoots three gangsters*
Episode 18
Pete: Gordon, I got a special job for you.
Gordon: Yes?
Pete: Work in the yards.
Gordon: No. I want to get that special train that Hawkeye is supposed to get.
Pete: Hawkeye, is that alright with you?
Hawkeye: No, I don't want Christmas to be ruined by the scrooge here.
Gordon: Hey, who are you calling a scrooge?
Pete: That's enough. Gordon, go work in the yards.
Gordon: *Sighs* Yes sir. *walks to train yard*
------------------------------------
Snowflake: Pete, we got a problem.
Pete: What is it?
Snowflake: It's Gordon. He took off in Hawkeye's train.
Pete: What the fuck? I told him not too.
Snowflake: Well, he did anyway.
Pete: We better find a way to get Gordon out.
Snowflake: I think I saw Pierce climb on one of the cars.
Pete: That's good. Now he just needs to get into the locomotive. From there he can stop the train, and get Gordon out. Then, from there Percy, and Jeff will arrive in a truck. Then, from there, Percy, and Jeff can take Gordon back to the train yard.
Snowflake: Then what happens.
Pete: Then, from there Gordon can get back to work, and get suspended until new year's day.
--------------------------------------
Pete: *Finishes dealing cards* Alright, who's going to take cards?
Coffee Creme: trois s'il vous plaît
Pete: What?
Coffee Creme: Don't you speak french? I said three please.
Pete: My mistake *Gives Coffee creme three cards*
Hawkeye: Dos por favor.
Pete: Si. *gives Hawkeye two cards*
Coffee Creme: Oh, you understand spanish, but not french?
Pete: I know a lot of languages.
Percy: Keine Karten
Pete: No cards for Percy.
Coffee Creme: What was that?
Percy: German.
Episode 19
Hawkeye: Alrighty then. *Shows cards* Five kings.
Percy: How did you get five kings?
Hawkeye: I don't know, Jeff was dealing not me.
Coffee Creme: Four of a kind, aces.
Percy: Aw man I have only three of a kind.
Jeff: Alas, so do I.
Gordon: Royal flush.
Hawkeye: Well, there's no point in seeing what everyone else has, Gordon wins.
Everypony except Hawkeye, and Gordon: Aww!
---------------------------------
Pete: Who's fault was it?
Gordon: Red Rose.
Pete: Why?
Gordon: She told me to stop very quickly which caused the chemical car to explode.
Pete: I see. Red Rose, your side of the story.
Red Rose: Gordon was going too fast, and I told him to slow down, but he called me a worthless prick.
Gordon: I was only going ten miles an hour.
Pete: That's not too fast at all. Red Rose, you're fired.
Red Rose: You can't fire me, I quit! I'm going to work for the Southern Pacific. *Leaves*
-------------------------------------
Pete: Get ready, the train will be here soon.
Jordan: Those cameras are rolling, right.
Camerapony: *Filming* Yes.
Jordan: Good.
Orion: *Getting towards platform*
Jordan: *Waiting for train*
Camerapony: *Continues filming*
Orion: *slows train down*
Jordan: *Very happy*
Camerapony: *Filming train*
Orion: *stops train*
Passengers: *Walk out of train*
Jordan: Ok, we got enough film. Good work.
Camerapony: Alright. *Packing things up*
Pete: Where would you like to go next?
Jordan: Oh, we're finished.
Pete: What?
Jordan: Yeah, you provided us with a very perfect intro. Now we're going into Portland Oregon to film the rest of the video, but don't worry. We'll still be filming your trains. *Leaves*
Camerapony: *Follows*
Pete: *Walks to bench* Fucking liars.
Episode 20
It was a snowy day in Cheyenne. Everypony was working their hardest. Except Gordon. He was being very lazy, and refused to get a train out of the station.
Pete: Why won't you work this time?
Gordon: Because, I need help to repair this locomotive.
Pete: What's wrong with it?
Gordon: Everything. It's a steam engine. I want a diesel engine!
Pete: Gordon, I'm working on that, but unless you want Hawkeye to bother you, I suggest you be patient.
Gordon: Fuck patience. I want to drive a diesel!
Pete: *Sighs* You never listen. *walks away*
Gordon: *Climbs in locomotive*
Pete: *About to enter station*
Gordon: *Blows whistle twice*
Pete: *Turns around* Oh, now you decide to do your work!
Gordon: *drives out of station* Hahahaha! I love pissing off my boss. *Notices the cab* Aw, I left the fireman behind. Whatever, this engine burns oil anyway, so whatever. *drives faster*
-------------------------------------------
Pete: Now, please don't try to cause any trouble during your visit.
Gordon: You got it.
Michael: *Arrives*
Stylo: *Jumps onto platform from train*
Pete: Whoa. We got ourselves a little daredevil over here!
Stylo: *Laughes* I am a pegasus Mr. Reimer.
----------------------------------------------
Back in the yards, Gordon was driving his locomotive too fast.
Gordon: *Nearly derails passenger cars*
Passengers: Ah! Those cars nearly left the tracks.
Gordon: *Stops too quickly*
Everything in the passenger cars was airborne for a little while, and then they fell to the ground, and broke.
Passengers: *Entering train*
Gordon: *Uncouples locomotive from train*
Passengers: *sees debris* What is this?! Why are there broken plates in this car?
Gordon: Did I do that? *Gets back in locomotive, and drives away*
Michael: *Arrives at station* I think it's time to check on how Gordon's doing.
Passenger: Excuse me, there's broken plates all over the floor in every passenger car.
Michael: How is that possible?
Passenger: I think it had something to do with the switcher.
Michael: I'll speak to him right away.
Gordon: *Waiting in siding*
Michael: *Arrives* Were you switching a passenger train too fast?
Gordon: I wouldn't say too fast, but-
Michael: I don't like being lied to.
Gordon: I didn't know I was going too fast.
The End
Season 3 will begin before March
Seanthehedgehog presents
Season 2 Highlights of
Ponies On The Rails
Starring
Peirce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog
Red Rose From Chibiemmy
Honey Bee From NaomiWinx
Coffee Creme From KarinaBrony
Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09
Metal Gloss From DragonAura15
Stylo From Jimmythedragon
Gordon, Percy, Jeff, Bartholomew, and Pete from Seanthehedgehog
Hawkeye: *stops train at station* Hi. I think you know where this is going. For ten episodes of this season, I have made many readers of this series very happy, and gave them a good laugh.Though personally, I thought season 1 was better, I still enjoyed Season 2. Now let's take a look at some of the highlights we all enjoyed
Red Rose: GORDON!!!!
Gordon: What?
Red Rose: What do you think you're doing?!
Gordon: Having a sandwich. I'm hungry.
Red Rose: Well you are not on lunch break yet, get your ass back in the train, and push those cars down the hump.
Gordon: How do you hump a freight car?
Red Rose: UUUGH!!!
---------------
Pete: You all did an excellent job. Tomorrow, none of you need to come into work.
Ponies: Oh sweet.
Pete: But.....
Ponies: *Waiting*
Pete: I do need two volunteers to work the night shift.
Gordon: The night shift, how do you do that?
Pete: You got to carry a train of Chevy's to a dealership in St. Foalis. You can ride another train back here when it's done, and enjoy your day off.
Hawkeye: I'll do it.
Pete: You'll need a fireman. Anyone will do.
Hawkeye: Ok, uh Red Rose?
Red Rose: Sorry, I got a date with my husband.
Hawkeye: Ok. Honey?
Honey: Nope. I have guitar practice.
Coffee Creme: What about me?
Hawkeye: But you said you were afraid of the dark.
Coffee Creme: Not anymore. I can do it.
-----------------------------
A train was refueling on the main line, and the driver, and fireman were relaxing in the caboose.
Conductor: You two better get out soon.
Driver: Who cares? This is good hot chocolate.
Fireman: He's right. Let's get back to our engine. *gets out*
Driver: *Follows*
They got out just in time.
Hawkeye: Oooh shi- *crashes*
Luckily no one was hurt
Episode 12
Coffee Creme: *Climbs into cab*
Gordon: *drives*
They pull the broken down engine to the servicing facility.
Gordon: This is it. Nice work bitch.
Coffee Creme: You're welcome fuckface *walks out of cab*
Jeff: Coffee Creme! I heard what you called Gordon. That wasn't very nice.
Coffee Creme: Pfft, whatever. *walks away*
Jeff: Gordon. What did you do to her?
Gordon: Nothing. I just called her fuckface, and-
Jeff: No. Unacceptable.
------------------------------
Coffee Creme: Should I still act like Gordon, or just be myself?
Ghost: Be Gordon!
Coffee Creme: Ah! What are you doing here? Ghosts don't exist.
Ghost: This is a dream you nincompoop. Anything can happen in a dream.
Coffee Creme: Such as?
Ghost: Such as seeing you float, even though nothing is making you do that.
Coffee Creme: *floating in mid air* Whoa!!
Ghost: And you could spin around while you're up there.
Coffee Creme: *spinning around* Stop the spinning! Please!!
Ghost: Ugh, fine. Only because you said please.
Coffee Creme: *lands in bed* So you really think I should be like Gordon?
Ghost: Yes. He's always a douchebag towards you, and other ponies, isn't he?
Coffee Creme: Yeah. Sometimes anyway.
Ghost: Then act like him tomorrow, and teach him a lesson.
Coffee Creme: Ok. I will.
-----------------------------
Gordon: *walking to train yard*
Hawkeye: Hey!
Gordon: What do you want?
Hawkeye: You. *grabs chain*
Gordon: What's with the chain?
Hawkeye: I'll be asking the questions. What did you do to Coffee Creme two days ago?
Gordon: Go screw yourself!
The rest is going to be violent, and left out of the story
Episode 13
Pete: Hawkeye, I see you finished your toughest task.
Hawkeye: Toughest task?
Pete: That engine you were driving is going to be scrapped.
Hawkeye: Oooh.
Pete: You'll be alright about that, won't you?
Hawkeye: Eh, yeah. Sure. Just let me... GO ON A RAGE!!
Pete: Pierce?
Hawkeye: AAH!! *runs away*
Pete: This can't be good.
--------------------------------
Hawkeye: AAHH!!
Gordon: *Walks up to Hawkeye* Hey! Nopony is supposed to do idiotic things but me.
Hawkeye: Fuck off Gordon, I'm in a bad mood right now.
Gordon: No, I'm not fucking off, I just want to know why you're acting like this.
Hawkeye: Pete is scrapping a steam engine.
Gordon: Ha! It's about time. In your face asshole!!
Hawkeye: *jumps in truck*
Gordon: Hey, where do you think you're going?
Hawkeye: *Drives away*
Gordon: Hey, you nearly hit me!
----------------------------------------
Coffee Creme: *Arrives at bar*
Stallions: Ooh, it's a mare.
Coffee Creme: Bonjour.
Stallions: And she's french. Why don't we go to my house, and do it?
Coffee Creme: No thanks.
Hawkeye: Coffee Creme? Did you come here to get drunk with me?
Coffee Creme: No, the complete opposite of that. We need you back at the Union Pacific. I don't care if you say no, you're coming with me.
Hawkeye: Ok.
Coffee Creme: Wow, I didn't think you'd take it that easy. Let's get going then.
Hawkeye: But I'm drunk. How am I supposed to drive a train?
Coffee Creme: Leave it to me. *Slaps Hawkeye*
Hawkeye: *becomes sober* Ok, that hurt, but at least it worked. Let's go. *runs out of bar*
Episode 14
Jeff: *uncouples car* Check your speed.
Gordon: Checking speed.
Hawkeye: RAINBOW
Jeff: Rainbow?
Gordon: *stops train* Holy shit, that looks beautiful.
Red Rose: Yes, it does.
Jeff: But, we gotta switch the freight cars!
Gordon: Fuck that, we're watching a rainbow.
Jeff: Hawkeye, tell him to behave!
Hawkeye: But he is.
Jeff: *sighs* You guys continue without me. *walks away*
Gordon: What the fuck is his problem?
Hawkeye: I don't know. He's not even looking at the rainbow.
------------------------------
Pete: Jeff, what are you doing?
Jeff: I am sulking in my own depression.
Pete: Come on, don't be depressed. I had to deal with a bunch of ponies like that 20 years ago you know.
Jeff: Yeah. How old are you?
Pete: 30.
Jeff: Oh.
Pete: What about you?
Jeff: 15. I've been working for you since '49. Everything has been going the way I always wanted it to be. My way, but then a fucking rainbow showed up out of nowhere today. I was telling Gordon, Hawkeye, and Red Rose what to do, when they all stopped their work just to watch it.
Pete: It was pretty beautiful, wasn't it?
Jeff: I didn't see the rainbow.
Pete: Well that explains it.
Jeff: No, the reason I'm upset is because it made those three stop working.
Pete: That's just stupid. Go with Percy, and fix the main line to Pocatello.
--------------------------
Jeff: Enough with the rainbow!! I DAMN IT TO HELL!!! FUCK RAINBOWS, AND FUCK THIS ONE FOR RUINING OUR WORK!!
The rainbow then caught on fire, and disappeared.
Gordon: It's gone! *Cries* YOU MADE THE RAINBOW CATCH ON FIRE, AND DIE!! *Runs away*
Hawkeye: Wait, Gordon! It's not dead! *Chases Gordon*
Gordon: YES IT IS!!
Hawkeye: No Gordon. I promise you it's not. How can you kill a rainbow? Look.
The rainbow reappeared.
Jeff: Shit! *kicks building* Ow, my hoof.
Episode 15
Pete: Gordon, you must-
Gordon: *Sleeping*
Pete: Gordon.
Gordon: *Waking up* Ah, blowjob!!
Pete: Excuse me?
Gordon: I was having a dream that Honey was giving me a blowjob.
Honey: Ew! Nopony would do that for you.
Pete: Gordon, you're suspended from work for a week.
Gordon: Whatever *Walks away*
Pete: After you do your work.
Gordon: Say what now?
Pete: You are going into North Platte Nebraska to deliver some new cars by Canterlot into Omaha.
Gordon: Fuck that, I want to be suspended from work now.
Pete: Either you deliver those cars to Omaha or you're fired.
Gordon: Fine. I'll do it your way.
-----------------------------
Pete: *Looks around* Where has Gordon gone?
Honey: I don't know sir.
Pete: Well, he better hurry back. He's supposed to pull this train before being suspended from work.
Gordon: *Arrives* I can't find a turkey.
Pete: Forget about that, and drive this train.
Gordon: But-
Pete: *Pointing at train* Drive the train that my hoof is pointing to.
Gordon: *Walks to engine* I just wanted to find a turkey.
Pete: Hawkeye, and Coffee Creme are dealing with that. You just have to go to Omaha to deliver cars.
Gordon: *Climbing in engine* Whatever.
Honey: *Blows horn*
Gordon: *drives train*
Pete: Idiot.
Gordon: *Qiuckly reverses train back to station* What did you call me?
Pete: Nothing.
Gordon: Ok. *Drives train again*
Honey: Whoops. I forgot to blow the horn twice.
Gordon: That's stupid, so fuck it.
------------------------------
Gordon: *Delivers train of Canterlot's* Excellent. We got all the cars to the dealership in time. Now we just need to find-
Song: link
Turkey: *Walks on train tracks*
Gordon: A turkey. *Chases Turkey*
Turkey: Gobble gobble gobble *Running away*
Honey: Gordon, leave him alone!
Gordon: No! *Continues chasing turkey* Get the hell over here!
Turkey: *Running between engine, and cars*
Gordon: Shit *Uncouples engines from cars* Honey, drive!
Honey: *Drives engine*
Gordon: *Runs across tracks*
Turkey: Gobble gobble *gets on engine*
Gordon: STOP!!
Honey: *stops engine*
Turkey: *Hops off engine* Gobble gobble gobble gobble.
Gordon: Yeah, I'd like to see you gobble when I roast your ass for Thanksgiving.
Turkey: *Running away*
Gordon: *Dives for turkey*
Turkey: gobble *turns left*
Gordon: *Lands on ground* Motherbucker.
Turkey: *Pecking on Gordon*
Gordon: Quit it! *Chokes turkey*
Turkey: *Pecks Gordon in the eye*
Gordon: Ow! *Drops turkey*
Turkey: Gobble gobble! *Runs away*
Honey: I told you to leave him alone.
Gordon: Fuck you *Chases turkey*
Now they were running around the engines that Honey was driving.
Honey: *Watching*
Turkey: gobble gobble *Running*
Gordon: *Chasing turkey*
Turkey: Gobble gobble *Runs in cab*
Gordon: *getting tired* Where did he go?
Turkey: *puts engine in reverse*
Gordon: *On train tracks* Ah! *Running from engine*
Turkey: Gobble gobble *Makes engine go faster*
Gordon: *Running slower* I'm so tired.
Turkey: *Runs over Gordon*
Gordon: AAHH! *pushed off tracks*
Turkey: *Stops engine*
Honey: Hahahahahaha! *Points at Gordon* You got hit by a train, driven by a turkey.
Gordon: *Heals himself with magic* Where is that thing?
Turkey: *Runs out of cab*
Gordon: Aha *Runs after turkey*
Turkey: Gobble gobble *Running towards dealership*
Gordon: *Catches turkey* Got you. And now, you're going to get what you deserve. *Takes turkey into cab*
Honey: What are you doing with that?
Gordon: *Grabs gun* Killing him. *Shoots turkey*
Turkey: Aah! *Dies*
Episode 16
Gordon: *Shows up* Hey. What are you two doing?
Hawkeye: Nothing, what are you doing?
Gordon: You're standing. That's not doing nothing.
Hawkeye: You didn't answer my question.
Gordon: I don't have to. You lied to me.
Coffee Creme: If you really want to know what we're doing, we are standing by a heater.
Gordon: And you gotta let me be there with you.
Hawkeye: Yeah, no. The heater is blowing a narrow section of warm air to us, and there's not enough room for you.
Gordon: Don't care *Pushes Coffee Creme*
Coffee Creme: Whoa! *Falls on heater*
The heater then broke
Gordon: Great, look what you've done.
Coffee Creme: You pushed me!
Gordon: You fell.
Coffee Creme: Because you pushed me.
Hawkeye: *Sighs* Sometimes, I feel like I'm the only pony who does the right thing here.
--------------------------------
Coffee Creme: I found a can *Takes can* Hmm.
Hawkeye: What is it?
Coffee Creme: 1943! These beans are from World War 2.
Hawkeye: That's also the year Percy started working for this railroad. I wonder how his dad is doing.
Meanwhile at Percy's dad's house
Dan: *On phone*
Operator: Hello?
Dan: Yes *Carrying toothpaste* I bought your Colgate toothpaste. The one with tartar control. And it made me feel, like a piece of shit!
Back on the Union Pacific
Coffee Creme: Yeah, he's fine *Cooking beans*
Hawkeye: Man. *Yawns* I don't know why, but... I feel a little drowsy. *Falls asleep*
Coffee Creme: Pierce?! Oh no. *Runs off*
-----------------------------------
Pete: *Walks in* Coffee Creme? What are you doing?
Coffee Creme: Pete. Hawkeye passed out, and now he turned into a ghost!
Pete: Impossible. I just saw him working at the train yards, which is Orion's job. Where is he anyway?
Coffee Creme: I don't know. *Hears banging noise* Wait a minute *Runs into kitchen*
Pete: *Follows* Oh my god! There are beans everywhere!
Coffee Creme: *eating beans from can* 1943. A good year for beans.
Pete: You were cooking beans?!
Coffee Creme: Uh, yeah? Gordon pushed me into the heater here, and I had no other way to stay warm.
Pete: And where is Gordon?!
Inside the bathroom
Gordon: This is very warm. I'm so glad the both of us went in here.
Orion: Yes, I agree. *Hearing hoofsteps* We better get in the stalls. *Gets in stall*
Gordon: *Gets in stall*
Pete: *Arrives* Alright, come on out of those stalls!
Gordon & Orion: *Standing still*
Pete: *Knocking on stall door*
Gordon: *speaking with japanese accent* Herro? Reave me arone.
Pete: Is that you Orion?
Gordon: No, I am Sakutaki Konnichiwa. Now reave me arone so that I can poop in peace.
Pete: *Breaks stall door open*
Gordon: *standing on toilet* *Still speaking with a japanese accent* This is not what it rooks rike.
Episode 17
Hawkeye: Goodnight Metal Gloss.
Metal Gloss: Goodnight Hawkeye.
Hawkeye: *Sits at table* Ah. *grabs pencil, and paper* Dear Father. How are you? It's been a while since I got your last message, and I decided to write back to you. We just got a new worker named Metal Gloss. She's an engineer just like me, and she kind of reminds me of my first christmas on the Union Pacific...
---------------------------------
Red Rose: Attention, we have a out of control chemical car in the yard.
Hawkeye: *Stops train* Ugh. I hope this never happens again.
Worker: *Jumps on car* Ok, now to apply the brakes *Breaks brake* AAAHH!! *Goes to alternative brakes* This car must stop *Applying alternative brakes* Don't crash, please!!
The chemical car slowly went towards a locomotive, and stopped.
Worker: Ah, thank goodness. For a moment I thought the car was going to expl-
The chemical car explodes
Worker: *Flying in air* AAAAAAAGGGHHHH!!
------------------------------------
Hawkeye: *sees three ponies walking towards them* Seems like our work is attracting a crowd.
Percy: *Sees ponies* Those are the ones that derailed this train.
Gangsters: *grab guns*
Hawkeye: They got guns!
Gangsters: *Shooting near Percy*
Percy: Get the revolver under your seat.
Hawkeye: There's a revolver under here? What kind of a railroad is this? *Grabs revolver*
Percy: Just do it.
Hawkeye: *Shoots three gangsters*
Episode 18
Pete: Gordon, I got a special job for you.
Gordon: Yes?
Pete: Work in the yards.
Gordon: No. I want to get that special train that Hawkeye is supposed to get.
Pete: Hawkeye, is that alright with you?
Hawkeye: No, I don't want Christmas to be ruined by the scrooge here.
Gordon: Hey, who are you calling a scrooge?
Pete: That's enough. Gordon, go work in the yards.
Gordon: *Sighs* Yes sir. *walks to train yard*
------------------------------------
Snowflake: Pete, we got a problem.
Pete: What is it?
Snowflake: It's Gordon. He took off in Hawkeye's train.
Pete: What the fuck? I told him not too.
Snowflake: Well, he did anyway.
Pete: We better find a way to get Gordon out.
Snowflake: I think I saw Pierce climb on one of the cars.
Pete: That's good. Now he just needs to get into the locomotive. From there he can stop the train, and get Gordon out. Then, from there Percy, and Jeff will arrive in a truck. Then, from there, Percy, and Jeff can take Gordon back to the train yard.
Snowflake: Then what happens.
Pete: Then, from there Gordon can get back to work, and get suspended until new year's day.
--------------------------------------
Pete: *Finishes dealing cards* Alright, who's going to take cards?
Coffee Creme: trois s'il vous plaît
Pete: What?
Coffee Creme: Don't you speak french? I said three please.
Pete: My mistake *Gives Coffee creme three cards*
Hawkeye: Dos por favor.
Pete: Si. *gives Hawkeye two cards*
Coffee Creme: Oh, you understand spanish, but not french?
Pete: I know a lot of languages.
Percy: Keine Karten
Pete: No cards for Percy.
Coffee Creme: What was that?
Percy: German.
Episode 19
Hawkeye: Alrighty then. *Shows cards* Five kings.
Percy: How did you get five kings?
Hawkeye: I don't know, Jeff was dealing not me.
Coffee Creme: Four of a kind, aces.
Percy: Aw man I have only three of a kind.
Jeff: Alas, so do I.
Gordon: Royal flush.
Hawkeye: Well, there's no point in seeing what everyone else has, Gordon wins.
Everypony except Hawkeye, and Gordon: Aww!
---------------------------------
Pete: Who's fault was it?
Gordon: Red Rose.
Pete: Why?
Gordon: She told me to stop very quickly which caused the chemical car to explode.
Pete: I see. Red Rose, your side of the story.
Red Rose: Gordon was going too fast, and I told him to slow down, but he called me a worthless prick.
Gordon: I was only going ten miles an hour.
Pete: That's not too fast at all. Red Rose, you're fired.
Red Rose: You can't fire me, I quit! I'm going to work for the Southern Pacific. *Leaves*
-------------------------------------
Pete: Get ready, the train will be here soon.
Jordan: Those cameras are rolling, right.
Camerapony: *Filming* Yes.
Jordan: Good.
Orion: *Getting towards platform*
Jordan: *Waiting for train*
Camerapony: *Continues filming*
Orion: *slows train down*
Jordan: *Very happy*
Camerapony: *Filming train*
Orion: *stops train*
Passengers: *Walk out of train*
Jordan: Ok, we got enough film. Good work.
Camerapony: Alright. *Packing things up*
Pete: Where would you like to go next?
Jordan: Oh, we're finished.
Pete: What?
Jordan: Yeah, you provided us with a very perfect intro. Now we're going into Portland Oregon to film the rest of the video, but don't worry. We'll still be filming your trains. *Leaves*
Camerapony: *Follows*
Pete: *Walks to bench* Fucking liars.
Episode 20
It was a snowy day in Cheyenne. Everypony was working their hardest. Except Gordon. He was being very lazy, and refused to get a train out of the station.
Pete: Why won't you work this time?
Gordon: Because, I need help to repair this locomotive.
Pete: What's wrong with it?
Gordon: Everything. It's a steam engine. I want a diesel engine!
Pete: Gordon, I'm working on that, but unless you want Hawkeye to bother you, I suggest you be patient.
Gordon: Fuck patience. I want to drive a diesel!
Pete: *Sighs* You never listen. *walks away*
Gordon: *Climbs in locomotive*
Pete: *About to enter station*
Gordon: *Blows whistle twice*
Pete: *Turns around* Oh, now you decide to do your work!
Gordon: *drives out of station* Hahahaha! I love pissing off my boss. *Notices the cab* Aw, I left the fireman behind. Whatever, this engine burns oil anyway, so whatever. *drives faster*
-------------------------------------------
Pete: Now, please don't try to cause any trouble during your visit.
Gordon: You got it.
Michael: *Arrives*
Stylo: *Jumps onto platform from train*
Pete: Whoa. We got ourselves a little daredevil over here!
Stylo: *Laughes* I am a pegasus Mr. Reimer.
----------------------------------------------
Back in the yards, Gordon was driving his locomotive too fast.
Gordon: *Nearly derails passenger cars*
Passengers: Ah! Those cars nearly left the tracks.
Gordon: *Stops too quickly*
Everything in the passenger cars was airborne for a little while, and then they fell to the ground, and broke.
Passengers: *Entering train*
Gordon: *Uncouples locomotive from train*
Passengers: *sees debris* What is this?! Why are there broken plates in this car?
Gordon: Did I do that? *Gets back in locomotive, and drives away*
Michael: *Arrives at station* I think it's time to check on how Gordon's doing.
Passenger: Excuse me, there's broken plates all over the floor in every passenger car.
Michael: How is that possible?
Passenger: I think it had something to do with the switcher.
Michael: I'll speak to him right away.
Gordon: *Waiting in siding*
Michael: *Arrives* Were you switching a passenger train too fast?
Gordon: I wouldn't say too fast, but-
Michael: I don't like being lied to.
Gordon: I didn't know I was going too fast.
The End
Season 3 will begin before March
We all play games to actually get away from all the pointless chores of reality. Sadly, though, there are moments in games that throw us right back into reality by making us do the same chores as in reality. Now, a few rules before I begin. Only one game per franchise and only games that I have played. Now, with all that said, lets start the list.
#10: Survivor Chores from Dead Rising - Now, this really isn’t pointless, as saving survivors does get you a new weapon, levels you up, or gives you money. However, there are THOSE survivors. You know the ones, the ones that will refuse to...
continue reading...
#10: Survivor Chores from Dead Rising - Now, this really isn’t pointless, as saving survivors does get you a new weapon, levels you up, or gives you money. However, there are THOSE survivors. You know the ones, the ones that will refuse to...
Henry: so... what are you working on?
Simon: none of your concern
Henry: can I help?
Simon: why should I let a insecure 19 year old with no experiences with science help me?
Henry: point taken
Simon: why are you in here?
Henry: I just want to know what you are making!
Simon: a cure for cancer
Henry: how will that help the war?
Simon: not every thing has to be about war... it will help the lives of millions! and some might see the day this chaos ends...
Henry: ok then... whats the progress?
Simon: dead-fuc*ing-end
Henry: welcome to my world
Simon: none of your concern
Henry: can I help?
Simon: why should I let a insecure 19 year old with no experiences with science help me?
Henry: point taken
Simon: why are you in here?
Henry: I just want to know what you are making!
Simon: a cure for cancer
Henry: how will that help the war?
Simon: not every thing has to be about war... it will help the lives of millions! and some might see the day this chaos ends...
Henry: ok then... whats the progress?
Simon: dead-fuc*ing-end
Henry: welcome to my world
