Theme song >>>> link
Seanthehedgehog presents
Season 2 Highlights of
Ponies On The Rails
Starring
Peirce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog
Red Rose From Chibiemmy
Honey Bee From NaomiWinx
Coffee Creme From KarinaBrony
Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09
Metal Gloss From DragonAura15
Stylo From Jimmythedragon
Gordon, Percy, Jeff, Bartholomew, and Pete from Seanthehedgehog
Hawkeye: *stops train at station* Hi. I think you know where this is going. For ten episodes of this season, I have made many readers of this series very happy, and gave them a good laugh.Though personally, I thought season 1 was better, I still enjoyed Season 2. Now let's take a look at some of the highlights we all enjoyed
Red Rose: GORDON!!!!
Gordon: What?
Red Rose: What do you think you're doing?!
Gordon: Having a sandwich. I'm hungry.
Red Rose: Well you are not on lunch break yet, get your ass back in the train, and push those cars down the hump.
Gordon: How do you hump a freight car?
Red Rose: UUUGH!!!
---------------
Pete: You all did an excellent job. Tomorrow, none of you need to come into work.
Ponies: Oh sweet.
Pete: But.....
Ponies: *Waiting*
Pete: I do need two volunteers to work the night shift.
Gordon: The night shift, how do you do that?
Pete: You got to carry a train of Chevy's to a dealership in St. Foalis. You can ride another train back here when it's done, and enjoy your day off.
Hawkeye: I'll do it.
Pete: You'll need a fireman. Anyone will do.
Hawkeye: Ok, uh Red Rose?
Red Rose: Sorry, I got a date with my husband.
Hawkeye: Ok. Honey?
Honey: Nope. I have guitar practice.
Coffee Creme: What about me?
Hawkeye: But you said you were afraid of the dark.
Coffee Creme: Not anymore. I can do it.
-----------------------------
A train was refueling on the main line, and the driver, and fireman were relaxing in the caboose.
Conductor: You two better get out soon.
Driver: Who cares? This is good hot chocolate.
Fireman: He's right. Let's get back to our engine. *gets out*
Driver: *Follows*
They got out just in time.
Hawkeye: Oooh shi- *crashes*
Luckily no one was hurt
Episode 12
Coffee Creme: *Climbs into cab*
Gordon: *drives*
They pull the broken down engine to the servicing facility.
Gordon: This is it. Nice work bitch.
Coffee Creme: You're welcome fuckface *walks out of cab*
Jeff: Coffee Creme! I heard what you called Gordon. That wasn't very nice.
Coffee Creme: Pfft, whatever. *walks away*
Jeff: Gordon. What did you do to her?
Gordon: Nothing. I just called her fuckface, and-
Jeff: No. Unacceptable.
------------------------------
Coffee Creme: Should I still act like Gordon, or just be myself?
Ghost: Be Gordon!
Coffee Creme: Ah! What are you doing here? Ghosts don't exist.
Ghost: This is a dream you nincompoop. Anything can happen in a dream.
Coffee Creme: Such as?
Ghost: Such as seeing you float, even though nothing is making you do that.
Coffee Creme: *floating in mid air* Whoa!!
Ghost: And you could spin around while you're up there.
Coffee Creme: *spinning around* Stop the spinning! Please!!
Ghost: Ugh, fine. Only because you said please.
Coffee Creme: *lands in bed* So you really think I should be like Gordon?
Ghost: Yes. He's always a douchebag towards you, and other ponies, isn't he?
Coffee Creme: Yeah. Sometimes anyway.
Ghost: Then act like him tomorrow, and teach him a lesson.
Coffee Creme: Ok. I will.
-----------------------------
Gordon: *walking to train yard*
Hawkeye: Hey!
Gordon: What do you want?
Hawkeye: You. *grabs chain*
Gordon: What's with the chain?
Hawkeye: I'll be asking the questions. What did you do to Coffee Creme two days ago?
Gordon: Go screw yourself!
The rest is going to be violent, and left out of the story
Episode 13
Pete: Hawkeye, I see you finished your toughest task.
Hawkeye: Toughest task?
Pete: That engine you were driving is going to be scrapped.
Hawkeye: Oooh.
Pete: You'll be alright about that, won't you?
Hawkeye: Eh, yeah. Sure. Just let me... GO ON A RAGE!!
Pete: Pierce?
Hawkeye: AAH!! *runs away*
Pete: This can't be good.
--------------------------------
Hawkeye: AAHH!!
Gordon: *Walks up to Hawkeye* Hey! Nopony is supposed to do idiotic things but me.
Hawkeye: Fuck off Gordon, I'm in a bad mood right now.
Gordon: No, I'm not fucking off, I just want to know why you're acting like this.
Hawkeye: Pete is scrapping a steam engine.
Gordon: Ha! It's about time. In your face asshole!!
Hawkeye: *jumps in truck*
Gordon: Hey, where do you think you're going?
Hawkeye: *Drives away*
Gordon: Hey, you nearly hit me!
----------------------------------------
Coffee Creme: *Arrives at bar*
Stallions: Ooh, it's a mare.
Coffee Creme: Bonjour.
Stallions: And she's french. Why don't we go to my house, and do it?
Coffee Creme: No thanks.
Hawkeye: Coffee Creme? Did you come here to get drunk with me?
Coffee Creme: No, the complete opposite of that. We need you back at the Union Pacific. I don't care if you say no, you're coming with me.
Hawkeye: Ok.
Coffee Creme: Wow, I didn't think you'd take it that easy. Let's get going then.
Hawkeye: But I'm drunk. How am I supposed to drive a train?
Coffee Creme: Leave it to me. *Slaps Hawkeye*
Hawkeye: *becomes sober* Ok, that hurt, but at least it worked. Let's go. *runs out of bar*
Episode 14
Jeff: *uncouples car* Check your speed.
Gordon: Checking speed.
Hawkeye: RAINBOW
Jeff: Rainbow?
Gordon: *stops train* Holy shit, that looks beautiful.
Red Rose: Yes, it does.
Jeff: But, we gotta switch the freight cars!
Gordon: Fuck that, we're watching a rainbow.
Jeff: Hawkeye, tell him to behave!
Hawkeye: But he is.
Jeff: *sighs* You guys continue without me. *walks away*
Gordon: What the fuck is his problem?
Hawkeye: I don't know. He's not even looking at the rainbow.
------------------------------
Pete: Jeff, what are you doing?
Jeff: I am sulking in my own depression.
Pete: Come on, don't be depressed. I had to deal with a bunch of ponies like that 20 years ago you know.
Jeff: Yeah. How old are you?
Pete: 30.
Jeff: Oh.
Pete: What about you?
Jeff: 15. I've been working for you since '49. Everything has been going the way I always wanted it to be. My way, but then a fucking rainbow showed up out of nowhere today. I was telling Gordon, Hawkeye, and Red Rose what to do, when they all stopped their work just to watch it.
Pete: It was pretty beautiful, wasn't it?
Jeff: I didn't see the rainbow.
Pete: Well that explains it.
Jeff: No, the reason I'm upset is because it made those three stop working.
Pete: That's just stupid. Go with Percy, and fix the main line to Pocatello.
--------------------------
Jeff: Enough with the rainbow!! I DAMN IT TO HELL!!! FUCK RAINBOWS, AND FUCK THIS ONE FOR RUINING OUR WORK!!
The rainbow then caught on fire, and disappeared.
Gordon: It's gone! *Cries* YOU MADE THE RAINBOW CATCH ON FIRE, AND DIE!! *Runs away*
Hawkeye: Wait, Gordon! It's not dead! *Chases Gordon*
Gordon: YES IT IS!!
Hawkeye: No Gordon. I promise you it's not. How can you kill a rainbow? Look.
The rainbow reappeared.
Jeff: Shit! *kicks building* Ow, my hoof.
Episode 15
Pete: Gordon, you must-
Gordon: *Sleeping*
Pete: Gordon.
Gordon: *Waking up* Ah, blowjob!!
Pete: Excuse me?
Gordon: I was having a dream that Honey was giving me a blowjob.
Honey: Ew! Nopony would do that for you.
Pete: Gordon, you're suspended from work for a week.
Gordon: Whatever *Walks away*
Pete: After you do your work.
Gordon: Say what now?
Pete: You are going into North Platte Nebraska to deliver some new cars by Canterlot into Omaha.
Gordon: Fuck that, I want to be suspended from work now.
Pete: Either you deliver those cars to Omaha or you're fired.
Gordon: Fine. I'll do it your way.
-----------------------------
Pete: *Looks around* Where has Gordon gone?
Honey: I don't know sir.
Pete: Well, he better hurry back. He's supposed to pull this train before being suspended from work.
Gordon: *Arrives* I can't find a turkey.
Pete: Forget about that, and drive this train.
Gordon: But-
Pete: *Pointing at train* Drive the train that my hoof is pointing to.
Gordon: *Walks to engine* I just wanted to find a turkey.
Pete: Hawkeye, and Coffee Creme are dealing with that. You just have to go to Omaha to deliver cars.
Gordon: *Climbing in engine* Whatever.
Honey: *Blows horn*
Gordon: *drives train*
Pete: Idiot.
Gordon: *Qiuckly reverses train back to station* What did you call me?
Pete: Nothing.
Gordon: Ok. *Drives train again*
Honey: Whoops. I forgot to blow the horn twice.
Gordon: That's stupid, so fuck it.
------------------------------
Gordon: *Delivers train of Canterlot's* Excellent. We got all the cars to the dealership in time. Now we just need to find-
Song: link
Turkey: *Walks on train tracks*
Gordon: A turkey. *Chases Turkey*
Turkey: Gobble gobble gobble *Running away*
Honey: Gordon, leave him alone!
Gordon: No! *Continues chasing turkey* Get the hell over here!
Turkey: *Running between engine, and cars*
Gordon: Shit *Uncouples engines from cars* Honey, drive!
Honey: *Drives engine*
Gordon: *Runs across tracks*
Turkey: Gobble gobble *gets on engine*
Gordon: STOP!!
Honey: *stops engine*
Turkey: *Hops off engine* Gobble gobble gobble gobble.
Gordon: Yeah, I'd like to see you gobble when I roast your ass for Thanksgiving.
Turkey: *Running away*
Gordon: *Dives for turkey*
Turkey: gobble *turns left*
Gordon: *Lands on ground* Motherbucker.
Turkey: *Pecking on Gordon*
Gordon: Quit it! *Chokes turkey*
Turkey: *Pecks Gordon in the eye*
Gordon: Ow! *Drops turkey*
Turkey: Gobble gobble! *Runs away*
Honey: I told you to leave him alone.
Gordon: Fuck you *Chases turkey*
Now they were running around the engines that Honey was driving.
Honey: *Watching*
Turkey: gobble gobble *Running*
Gordon: *Chasing turkey*
Turkey: Gobble gobble *Runs in cab*
Gordon: *getting tired* Where did he go?
Turkey: *puts engine in reverse*
Gordon: *On train tracks* Ah! *Running from engine*
Turkey: Gobble gobble *Makes engine go faster*
Gordon: *Running slower* I'm so tired.
Turkey: *Runs over Gordon*
Gordon: AAHH! *pushed off tracks*
Turkey: *Stops engine*
Honey: Hahahahahaha! *Points at Gordon* You got hit by a train, driven by a turkey.
Gordon: *Heals himself with magic* Where is that thing?
Turkey: *Runs out of cab*
Gordon: Aha *Runs after turkey*
Turkey: Gobble gobble *Running towards dealership*
Gordon: *Catches turkey* Got you. And now, you're going to get what you deserve. *Takes turkey into cab*
Honey: What are you doing with that?
Gordon: *Grabs gun* Killing him. *Shoots turkey*
Turkey: Aah! *Dies*
Episode 16
Gordon: *Shows up* Hey. What are you two doing?
Hawkeye: Nothing, what are you doing?
Gordon: You're standing. That's not doing nothing.
Hawkeye: You didn't answer my question.
Gordon: I don't have to. You lied to me.
Coffee Creme: If you really want to know what we're doing, we are standing by a heater.
Gordon: And you gotta let me be there with you.
Hawkeye: Yeah, no. The heater is blowing a narrow section of warm air to us, and there's not enough room for you.
Gordon: Don't care *Pushes Coffee Creme*
Coffee Creme: Whoa! *Falls on heater*
The heater then broke
Gordon: Great, look what you've done.
Coffee Creme: You pushed me!
Gordon: You fell.
Coffee Creme: Because you pushed me.
Hawkeye: *Sighs* Sometimes, I feel like I'm the only pony who does the right thing here.
--------------------------------
Coffee Creme: I found a can *Takes can* Hmm.
Hawkeye: What is it?
Coffee Creme: 1943! These beans are from World War 2.
Hawkeye: That's also the year Percy started working for this railroad. I wonder how his dad is doing.
Meanwhile at Percy's dad's house
Dan: *On phone*
Operator: Hello?
Dan: Yes *Carrying toothpaste* I bought your Colgate toothpaste. The one with tartar control. And it made me feel, like a piece of shit!
Back on the Union Pacific
Coffee Creme: Yeah, he's fine *Cooking beans*
Hawkeye: Man. *Yawns* I don't know why, but... I feel a little drowsy. *Falls asleep*
Coffee Creme: Pierce?! Oh no. *Runs off*
-----------------------------------
Pete: *Walks in* Coffee Creme? What are you doing?
Coffee Creme: Pete. Hawkeye passed out, and now he turned into a ghost!
Pete: Impossible. I just saw him working at the train yards, which is Orion's job. Where is he anyway?
Coffee Creme: I don't know. *Hears banging noise* Wait a minute *Runs into kitchen*
Pete: *Follows* Oh my god! There are beans everywhere!
Coffee Creme: *eating beans from can* 1943. A good year for beans.
Pete: You were cooking beans?!
Coffee Creme: Uh, yeah? Gordon pushed me into the heater here, and I had no other way to stay warm.
Pete: And where is Gordon?!
Inside the bathroom
Gordon: This is very warm. I'm so glad the both of us went in here.
Orion: Yes, I agree. *Hearing hoofsteps* We better get in the stalls. *Gets in stall*
Gordon: *Gets in stall*
Pete: *Arrives* Alright, come on out of those stalls!
Gordon & Orion: *Standing still*
Pete: *Knocking on stall door*
Gordon: *speaking with japanese accent* Herro? Reave me arone.
Pete: Is that you Orion?
Gordon: No, I am Sakutaki Konnichiwa. Now reave me arone so that I can poop in peace.
Pete: *Breaks stall door open*
Gordon: *standing on toilet* *Still speaking with a japanese accent* This is not what it rooks rike.
Episode 17
Hawkeye: Goodnight Metal Gloss.
Metal Gloss: Goodnight Hawkeye.
Hawkeye: *Sits at table* Ah. *grabs pencil, and paper* Dear Father. How are you? It's been a while since I got your last message, and I decided to write back to you. We just got a new worker named Metal Gloss. She's an engineer just like me, and she kind of reminds me of my first christmas on the Union Pacific...
---------------------------------
Red Rose: Attention, we have a out of control chemical car in the yard.
Hawkeye: *Stops train* Ugh. I hope this never happens again.
Worker: *Jumps on car* Ok, now to apply the brakes *Breaks brake* AAAHH!! *Goes to alternative brakes* This car must stop *Applying alternative brakes* Don't crash, please!!
The chemical car slowly went towards a locomotive, and stopped.
Worker: Ah, thank goodness. For a moment I thought the car was going to expl-
The chemical car explodes
Worker: *Flying in air* AAAAAAAGGGHHHH!!
------------------------------------
Hawkeye: *sees three ponies walking towards them* Seems like our work is attracting a crowd.
Percy: *Sees ponies* Those are the ones that derailed this train.
Gangsters: *grab guns*
Hawkeye: They got guns!
Gangsters: *Shooting near Percy*
Percy: Get the revolver under your seat.
Hawkeye: There's a revolver under here? What kind of a railroad is this? *Grabs revolver*
Percy: Just do it.
Hawkeye: *Shoots three gangsters*
Episode 18
Pete: Gordon, I got a special job for you.
Gordon: Yes?
Pete: Work in the yards.
Gordon: No. I want to get that special train that Hawkeye is supposed to get.
Pete: Hawkeye, is that alright with you?
Hawkeye: No, I don't want Christmas to be ruined by the scrooge here.
Gordon: Hey, who are you calling a scrooge?
Pete: That's enough. Gordon, go work in the yards.
Gordon: *Sighs* Yes sir. *walks to train yard*
------------------------------------
Snowflake: Pete, we got a problem.
Pete: What is it?
Snowflake: It's Gordon. He took off in Hawkeye's train.
Pete: What the fuck? I told him not too.
Snowflake: Well, he did anyway.
Pete: We better find a way to get Gordon out.
Snowflake: I think I saw Pierce climb on one of the cars.
Pete: That's good. Now he just needs to get into the locomotive. From there he can stop the train, and get Gordon out. Then, from there Percy, and Jeff will arrive in a truck. Then, from there, Percy, and Jeff can take Gordon back to the train yard.
Snowflake: Then what happens.
Pete: Then, from there Gordon can get back to work, and get suspended until new year's day.
--------------------------------------
Pete: *Finishes dealing cards* Alright, who's going to take cards?
Coffee Creme: trois s'il vous plaît
Pete: What?
Coffee Creme: Don't you speak french? I said three please.
Pete: My mistake *Gives Coffee creme three cards*
Hawkeye: Dos por favor.
Pete: Si. *gives Hawkeye two cards*
Coffee Creme: Oh, you understand spanish, but not french?
Pete: I know a lot of languages.
Percy: Keine Karten
Pete: No cards for Percy.
Coffee Creme: What was that?
Percy: German.
Episode 19
Hawkeye: Alrighty then. *Shows cards* Five kings.
Percy: How did you get five kings?
Hawkeye: I don't know, Jeff was dealing not me.
Coffee Creme: Four of a kind, aces.
Percy: Aw man I have only three of a kind.
Jeff: Alas, so do I.
Gordon: Royal flush.
Hawkeye: Well, there's no point in seeing what everyone else has, Gordon wins.
Everypony except Hawkeye, and Gordon: Aww!
---------------------------------
Pete: Who's fault was it?
Gordon: Red Rose.
Pete: Why?
Gordon: She told me to stop very quickly which caused the chemical car to explode.
Pete: I see. Red Rose, your side of the story.
Red Rose: Gordon was going too fast, and I told him to slow down, but he called me a worthless prick.
Gordon: I was only going ten miles an hour.
Pete: That's not too fast at all. Red Rose, you're fired.
Red Rose: You can't fire me, I quit! I'm going to work for the Southern Pacific. *Leaves*
-------------------------------------
Pete: Get ready, the train will be here soon.
Jordan: Those cameras are rolling, right.
Camerapony: *Filming* Yes.
Jordan: Good.
Orion: *Getting towards platform*
Jordan: *Waiting for train*
Camerapony: *Continues filming*
Orion: *slows train down*
Jordan: *Very happy*
Camerapony: *Filming train*
Orion: *stops train*
Passengers: *Walk out of train*
Jordan: Ok, we got enough film. Good work.
Camerapony: Alright. *Packing things up*
Pete: Where would you like to go next?
Jordan: Oh, we're finished.
Pete: What?
Jordan: Yeah, you provided us with a very perfect intro. Now we're going into Portland Oregon to film the rest of the video, but don't worry. We'll still be filming your trains. *Leaves*
Camerapony: *Follows*
Pete: *Walks to bench* Fucking liars.
Episode 20
It was a snowy day in Cheyenne. Everypony was working their hardest. Except Gordon. He was being very lazy, and refused to get a train out of the station.
Pete: Why won't you work this time?
Gordon: Because, I need help to repair this locomotive.
Pete: What's wrong with it?
Gordon: Everything. It's a steam engine. I want a diesel engine!
Pete: Gordon, I'm working on that, but unless you want Hawkeye to bother you, I suggest you be patient.
Gordon: Fuck patience. I want to drive a diesel!
Pete: *Sighs* You never listen. *walks away*
Gordon: *Climbs in locomotive*
Pete: *About to enter station*
Gordon: *Blows whistle twice*
Pete: *Turns around* Oh, now you decide to do your work!
Gordon: *drives out of station* Hahahaha! I love pissing off my boss. *Notices the cab* Aw, I left the fireman behind. Whatever, this engine burns oil anyway, so whatever. *drives faster*
-------------------------------------------
Pete: Now, please don't try to cause any trouble during your visit.
Gordon: You got it.
Michael: *Arrives*
Stylo: *Jumps onto platform from train*
Pete: Whoa. We got ourselves a little daredevil over here!
Stylo: *Laughes* I am a pegasus Mr. Reimer.
----------------------------------------------
Back in the yards, Gordon was driving his locomotive too fast.
Gordon: *Nearly derails passenger cars*
Passengers: Ah! Those cars nearly left the tracks.
Gordon: *Stops too quickly*
Everything in the passenger cars was airborne for a little while, and then they fell to the ground, and broke.
Passengers: *Entering train*
Gordon: *Uncouples locomotive from train*
Passengers: *sees debris* What is this?! Why are there broken plates in this car?
Gordon: Did I do that? *Gets back in locomotive, and drives away*
Michael: *Arrives at station* I think it's time to check on how Gordon's doing.
Passenger: Excuse me, there's broken plates all over the floor in every passenger car.
Michael: How is that possible?
Passenger: I think it had something to do with the switcher.
Michael: I'll speak to him right away.
Gordon: *Waiting in siding*
Michael: *Arrives* Were you switching a passenger train too fast?
Gordon: I wouldn't say too fast, but-
Michael: I don't like being lied to.
Gordon: I didn't know I was going too fast.
The End
Season 3 will begin before March
Seanthehedgehog presents
Season 2 Highlights of
Ponies On The Rails
Starring
Peirce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog
Red Rose From Chibiemmy
Honey Bee From NaomiWinx
Coffee Creme From KarinaBrony
Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09
Metal Gloss From DragonAura15
Stylo From Jimmythedragon
Gordon, Percy, Jeff, Bartholomew, and Pete from Seanthehedgehog
Hawkeye: *stops train at station* Hi. I think you know where this is going. For ten episodes of this season, I have made many readers of this series very happy, and gave them a good laugh.Though personally, I thought season 1 was better, I still enjoyed Season 2. Now let's take a look at some of the highlights we all enjoyed
Red Rose: GORDON!!!!
Gordon: What?
Red Rose: What do you think you're doing?!
Gordon: Having a sandwich. I'm hungry.
Red Rose: Well you are not on lunch break yet, get your ass back in the train, and push those cars down the hump.
Gordon: How do you hump a freight car?
Red Rose: UUUGH!!!
---------------
Pete: You all did an excellent job. Tomorrow, none of you need to come into work.
Ponies: Oh sweet.
Pete: But.....
Ponies: *Waiting*
Pete: I do need two volunteers to work the night shift.
Gordon: The night shift, how do you do that?
Pete: You got to carry a train of Chevy's to a dealership in St. Foalis. You can ride another train back here when it's done, and enjoy your day off.
Hawkeye: I'll do it.
Pete: You'll need a fireman. Anyone will do.
Hawkeye: Ok, uh Red Rose?
Red Rose: Sorry, I got a date with my husband.
Hawkeye: Ok. Honey?
Honey: Nope. I have guitar practice.
Coffee Creme: What about me?
Hawkeye: But you said you were afraid of the dark.
Coffee Creme: Not anymore. I can do it.
-----------------------------
A train was refueling on the main line, and the driver, and fireman were relaxing in the caboose.
Conductor: You two better get out soon.
Driver: Who cares? This is good hot chocolate.
Fireman: He's right. Let's get back to our engine. *gets out*
Driver: *Follows*
They got out just in time.
Hawkeye: Oooh shi- *crashes*
Luckily no one was hurt
Episode 12
Coffee Creme: *Climbs into cab*
Gordon: *drives*
They pull the broken down engine to the servicing facility.
Gordon: This is it. Nice work bitch.
Coffee Creme: You're welcome fuckface *walks out of cab*
Jeff: Coffee Creme! I heard what you called Gordon. That wasn't very nice.
Coffee Creme: Pfft, whatever. *walks away*
Jeff: Gordon. What did you do to her?
Gordon: Nothing. I just called her fuckface, and-
Jeff: No. Unacceptable.
------------------------------
Coffee Creme: Should I still act like Gordon, or just be myself?
Ghost: Be Gordon!
Coffee Creme: Ah! What are you doing here? Ghosts don't exist.
Ghost: This is a dream you nincompoop. Anything can happen in a dream.
Coffee Creme: Such as?
Ghost: Such as seeing you float, even though nothing is making you do that.
Coffee Creme: *floating in mid air* Whoa!!
Ghost: And you could spin around while you're up there.
Coffee Creme: *spinning around* Stop the spinning! Please!!
Ghost: Ugh, fine. Only because you said please.
Coffee Creme: *lands in bed* So you really think I should be like Gordon?
Ghost: Yes. He's always a douchebag towards you, and other ponies, isn't he?
Coffee Creme: Yeah. Sometimes anyway.
Ghost: Then act like him tomorrow, and teach him a lesson.
Coffee Creme: Ok. I will.
-----------------------------
Gordon: *walking to train yard*
Hawkeye: Hey!
Gordon: What do you want?
Hawkeye: You. *grabs chain*
Gordon: What's with the chain?
Hawkeye: I'll be asking the questions. What did you do to Coffee Creme two days ago?
Gordon: Go screw yourself!
The rest is going to be violent, and left out of the story
Episode 13
Pete: Hawkeye, I see you finished your toughest task.
Hawkeye: Toughest task?
Pete: That engine you were driving is going to be scrapped.
Hawkeye: Oooh.
Pete: You'll be alright about that, won't you?
Hawkeye: Eh, yeah. Sure. Just let me... GO ON A RAGE!!
Pete: Pierce?
Hawkeye: AAH!! *runs away*
Pete: This can't be good.
--------------------------------
Hawkeye: AAHH!!
Gordon: *Walks up to Hawkeye* Hey! Nopony is supposed to do idiotic things but me.
Hawkeye: Fuck off Gordon, I'm in a bad mood right now.
Gordon: No, I'm not fucking off, I just want to know why you're acting like this.
Hawkeye: Pete is scrapping a steam engine.
Gordon: Ha! It's about time. In your face asshole!!
Hawkeye: *jumps in truck*
Gordon: Hey, where do you think you're going?
Hawkeye: *Drives away*
Gordon: Hey, you nearly hit me!
----------------------------------------
Coffee Creme: *Arrives at bar*
Stallions: Ooh, it's a mare.
Coffee Creme: Bonjour.
Stallions: And she's french. Why don't we go to my house, and do it?
Coffee Creme: No thanks.
Hawkeye: Coffee Creme? Did you come here to get drunk with me?
Coffee Creme: No, the complete opposite of that. We need you back at the Union Pacific. I don't care if you say no, you're coming with me.
Hawkeye: Ok.
Coffee Creme: Wow, I didn't think you'd take it that easy. Let's get going then.
Hawkeye: But I'm drunk. How am I supposed to drive a train?
Coffee Creme: Leave it to me. *Slaps Hawkeye*
Hawkeye: *becomes sober* Ok, that hurt, but at least it worked. Let's go. *runs out of bar*
Episode 14
Jeff: *uncouples car* Check your speed.
Gordon: Checking speed.
Hawkeye: RAINBOW
Jeff: Rainbow?
Gordon: *stops train* Holy shit, that looks beautiful.
Red Rose: Yes, it does.
Jeff: But, we gotta switch the freight cars!
Gordon: Fuck that, we're watching a rainbow.
Jeff: Hawkeye, tell him to behave!
Hawkeye: But he is.
Jeff: *sighs* You guys continue without me. *walks away*
Gordon: What the fuck is his problem?
Hawkeye: I don't know. He's not even looking at the rainbow.
------------------------------
Pete: Jeff, what are you doing?
Jeff: I am sulking in my own depression.
Pete: Come on, don't be depressed. I had to deal with a bunch of ponies like that 20 years ago you know.
Jeff: Yeah. How old are you?
Pete: 30.
Jeff: Oh.
Pete: What about you?
Jeff: 15. I've been working for you since '49. Everything has been going the way I always wanted it to be. My way, but then a fucking rainbow showed up out of nowhere today. I was telling Gordon, Hawkeye, and Red Rose what to do, when they all stopped their work just to watch it.
Pete: It was pretty beautiful, wasn't it?
Jeff: I didn't see the rainbow.
Pete: Well that explains it.
Jeff: No, the reason I'm upset is because it made those three stop working.
Pete: That's just stupid. Go with Percy, and fix the main line to Pocatello.
--------------------------
Jeff: Enough with the rainbow!! I DAMN IT TO HELL!!! FUCK RAINBOWS, AND FUCK THIS ONE FOR RUINING OUR WORK!!
The rainbow then caught on fire, and disappeared.
Gordon: It's gone! *Cries* YOU MADE THE RAINBOW CATCH ON FIRE, AND DIE!! *Runs away*
Hawkeye: Wait, Gordon! It's not dead! *Chases Gordon*
Gordon: YES IT IS!!
Hawkeye: No Gordon. I promise you it's not. How can you kill a rainbow? Look.
The rainbow reappeared.
Jeff: Shit! *kicks building* Ow, my hoof.
Episode 15
Pete: Gordon, you must-
Gordon: *Sleeping*
Pete: Gordon.
Gordon: *Waking up* Ah, blowjob!!
Pete: Excuse me?
Gordon: I was having a dream that Honey was giving me a blowjob.
Honey: Ew! Nopony would do that for you.
Pete: Gordon, you're suspended from work for a week.
Gordon: Whatever *Walks away*
Pete: After you do your work.
Gordon: Say what now?
Pete: You are going into North Platte Nebraska to deliver some new cars by Canterlot into Omaha.
Gordon: Fuck that, I want to be suspended from work now.
Pete: Either you deliver those cars to Omaha or you're fired.
Gordon: Fine. I'll do it your way.
-----------------------------
Pete: *Looks around* Where has Gordon gone?
Honey: I don't know sir.
Pete: Well, he better hurry back. He's supposed to pull this train before being suspended from work.
Gordon: *Arrives* I can't find a turkey.
Pete: Forget about that, and drive this train.
Gordon: But-
Pete: *Pointing at train* Drive the train that my hoof is pointing to.
Gordon: *Walks to engine* I just wanted to find a turkey.
Pete: Hawkeye, and Coffee Creme are dealing with that. You just have to go to Omaha to deliver cars.
Gordon: *Climbing in engine* Whatever.
Honey: *Blows horn*
Gordon: *drives train*
Pete: Idiot.
Gordon: *Qiuckly reverses train back to station* What did you call me?
Pete: Nothing.
Gordon: Ok. *Drives train again*
Honey: Whoops. I forgot to blow the horn twice.
Gordon: That's stupid, so fuck it.
------------------------------
Gordon: *Delivers train of Canterlot's* Excellent. We got all the cars to the dealership in time. Now we just need to find-
Song: link
Turkey: *Walks on train tracks*
Gordon: A turkey. *Chases Turkey*
Turkey: Gobble gobble gobble *Running away*
Honey: Gordon, leave him alone!
Gordon: No! *Continues chasing turkey* Get the hell over here!
Turkey: *Running between engine, and cars*
Gordon: Shit *Uncouples engines from cars* Honey, drive!
Honey: *Drives engine*
Gordon: *Runs across tracks*
Turkey: Gobble gobble *gets on engine*
Gordon: STOP!!
Honey: *stops engine*
Turkey: *Hops off engine* Gobble gobble gobble gobble.
Gordon: Yeah, I'd like to see you gobble when I roast your ass for Thanksgiving.
Turkey: *Running away*
Gordon: *Dives for turkey*
Turkey: gobble *turns left*
Gordon: *Lands on ground* Motherbucker.
Turkey: *Pecking on Gordon*
Gordon: Quit it! *Chokes turkey*
Turkey: *Pecks Gordon in the eye*
Gordon: Ow! *Drops turkey*
Turkey: Gobble gobble! *Runs away*
Honey: I told you to leave him alone.
Gordon: Fuck you *Chases turkey*
Now they were running around the engines that Honey was driving.
Honey: *Watching*
Turkey: gobble gobble *Running*
Gordon: *Chasing turkey*
Turkey: Gobble gobble *Runs in cab*
Gordon: *getting tired* Where did he go?
Turkey: *puts engine in reverse*
Gordon: *On train tracks* Ah! *Running from engine*
Turkey: Gobble gobble *Makes engine go faster*
Gordon: *Running slower* I'm so tired.
Turkey: *Runs over Gordon*
Gordon: AAHH! *pushed off tracks*
Turkey: *Stops engine*
Honey: Hahahahahaha! *Points at Gordon* You got hit by a train, driven by a turkey.
Gordon: *Heals himself with magic* Where is that thing?
Turkey: *Runs out of cab*
Gordon: Aha *Runs after turkey*
Turkey: Gobble gobble *Running towards dealership*
Gordon: *Catches turkey* Got you. And now, you're going to get what you deserve. *Takes turkey into cab*
Honey: What are you doing with that?
Gordon: *Grabs gun* Killing him. *Shoots turkey*
Turkey: Aah! *Dies*
Episode 16
Gordon: *Shows up* Hey. What are you two doing?
Hawkeye: Nothing, what are you doing?
Gordon: You're standing. That's not doing nothing.
Hawkeye: You didn't answer my question.
Gordon: I don't have to. You lied to me.
Coffee Creme: If you really want to know what we're doing, we are standing by a heater.
Gordon: And you gotta let me be there with you.
Hawkeye: Yeah, no. The heater is blowing a narrow section of warm air to us, and there's not enough room for you.
Gordon: Don't care *Pushes Coffee Creme*
Coffee Creme: Whoa! *Falls on heater*
The heater then broke
Gordon: Great, look what you've done.
Coffee Creme: You pushed me!
Gordon: You fell.
Coffee Creme: Because you pushed me.
Hawkeye: *Sighs* Sometimes, I feel like I'm the only pony who does the right thing here.
--------------------------------
Coffee Creme: I found a can *Takes can* Hmm.
Hawkeye: What is it?
Coffee Creme: 1943! These beans are from World War 2.
Hawkeye: That's also the year Percy started working for this railroad. I wonder how his dad is doing.
Meanwhile at Percy's dad's house
Dan: *On phone*
Operator: Hello?
Dan: Yes *Carrying toothpaste* I bought your Colgate toothpaste. The one with tartar control. And it made me feel, like a piece of shit!
Back on the Union Pacific
Coffee Creme: Yeah, he's fine *Cooking beans*
Hawkeye: Man. *Yawns* I don't know why, but... I feel a little drowsy. *Falls asleep*
Coffee Creme: Pierce?! Oh no. *Runs off*
-----------------------------------
Pete: *Walks in* Coffee Creme? What are you doing?
Coffee Creme: Pete. Hawkeye passed out, and now he turned into a ghost!
Pete: Impossible. I just saw him working at the train yards, which is Orion's job. Where is he anyway?
Coffee Creme: I don't know. *Hears banging noise* Wait a minute *Runs into kitchen*
Pete: *Follows* Oh my god! There are beans everywhere!
Coffee Creme: *eating beans from can* 1943. A good year for beans.
Pete: You were cooking beans?!
Coffee Creme: Uh, yeah? Gordon pushed me into the heater here, and I had no other way to stay warm.
Pete: And where is Gordon?!
Inside the bathroom
Gordon: This is very warm. I'm so glad the both of us went in here.
Orion: Yes, I agree. *Hearing hoofsteps* We better get in the stalls. *Gets in stall*
Gordon: *Gets in stall*
Pete: *Arrives* Alright, come on out of those stalls!
Gordon & Orion: *Standing still*
Pete: *Knocking on stall door*
Gordon: *speaking with japanese accent* Herro? Reave me arone.
Pete: Is that you Orion?
Gordon: No, I am Sakutaki Konnichiwa. Now reave me arone so that I can poop in peace.
Pete: *Breaks stall door open*
Gordon: *standing on toilet* *Still speaking with a japanese accent* This is not what it rooks rike.
Episode 17
Hawkeye: Goodnight Metal Gloss.
Metal Gloss: Goodnight Hawkeye.
Hawkeye: *Sits at table* Ah. *grabs pencil, and paper* Dear Father. How are you? It's been a while since I got your last message, and I decided to write back to you. We just got a new worker named Metal Gloss. She's an engineer just like me, and she kind of reminds me of my first christmas on the Union Pacific...
---------------------------------
Red Rose: Attention, we have a out of control chemical car in the yard.
Hawkeye: *Stops train* Ugh. I hope this never happens again.
Worker: *Jumps on car* Ok, now to apply the brakes *Breaks brake* AAAHH!! *Goes to alternative brakes* This car must stop *Applying alternative brakes* Don't crash, please!!
The chemical car slowly went towards a locomotive, and stopped.
Worker: Ah, thank goodness. For a moment I thought the car was going to expl-
The chemical car explodes
Worker: *Flying in air* AAAAAAAGGGHHHH!!
------------------------------------
Hawkeye: *sees three ponies walking towards them* Seems like our work is attracting a crowd.
Percy: *Sees ponies* Those are the ones that derailed this train.
Gangsters: *grab guns*
Hawkeye: They got guns!
Gangsters: *Shooting near Percy*
Percy: Get the revolver under your seat.
Hawkeye: There's a revolver under here? What kind of a railroad is this? *Grabs revolver*
Percy: Just do it.
Hawkeye: *Shoots three gangsters*
Episode 18
Pete: Gordon, I got a special job for you.
Gordon: Yes?
Pete: Work in the yards.
Gordon: No. I want to get that special train that Hawkeye is supposed to get.
Pete: Hawkeye, is that alright with you?
Hawkeye: No, I don't want Christmas to be ruined by the scrooge here.
Gordon: Hey, who are you calling a scrooge?
Pete: That's enough. Gordon, go work in the yards.
Gordon: *Sighs* Yes sir. *walks to train yard*
------------------------------------
Snowflake: Pete, we got a problem.
Pete: What is it?
Snowflake: It's Gordon. He took off in Hawkeye's train.
Pete: What the fuck? I told him not too.
Snowflake: Well, he did anyway.
Pete: We better find a way to get Gordon out.
Snowflake: I think I saw Pierce climb on one of the cars.
Pete: That's good. Now he just needs to get into the locomotive. From there he can stop the train, and get Gordon out. Then, from there Percy, and Jeff will arrive in a truck. Then, from there, Percy, and Jeff can take Gordon back to the train yard.
Snowflake: Then what happens.
Pete: Then, from there Gordon can get back to work, and get suspended until new year's day.
--------------------------------------
Pete: *Finishes dealing cards* Alright, who's going to take cards?
Coffee Creme: trois s'il vous plaît
Pete: What?
Coffee Creme: Don't you speak french? I said three please.
Pete: My mistake *Gives Coffee creme three cards*
Hawkeye: Dos por favor.
Pete: Si. *gives Hawkeye two cards*
Coffee Creme: Oh, you understand spanish, but not french?
Pete: I know a lot of languages.
Percy: Keine Karten
Pete: No cards for Percy.
Coffee Creme: What was that?
Percy: German.
Episode 19
Hawkeye: Alrighty then. *Shows cards* Five kings.
Percy: How did you get five kings?
Hawkeye: I don't know, Jeff was dealing not me.
Coffee Creme: Four of a kind, aces.
Percy: Aw man I have only three of a kind.
Jeff: Alas, so do I.
Gordon: Royal flush.
Hawkeye: Well, there's no point in seeing what everyone else has, Gordon wins.
Everypony except Hawkeye, and Gordon: Aww!
---------------------------------
Pete: Who's fault was it?
Gordon: Red Rose.
Pete: Why?
Gordon: She told me to stop very quickly which caused the chemical car to explode.
Pete: I see. Red Rose, your side of the story.
Red Rose: Gordon was going too fast, and I told him to slow down, but he called me a worthless prick.
Gordon: I was only going ten miles an hour.
Pete: That's not too fast at all. Red Rose, you're fired.
Red Rose: You can't fire me, I quit! I'm going to work for the Southern Pacific. *Leaves*
-------------------------------------
Pete: Get ready, the train will be here soon.
Jordan: Those cameras are rolling, right.
Camerapony: *Filming* Yes.
Jordan: Good.
Orion: *Getting towards platform*
Jordan: *Waiting for train*
Camerapony: *Continues filming*
Orion: *slows train down*
Jordan: *Very happy*
Camerapony: *Filming train*
Orion: *stops train*
Passengers: *Walk out of train*
Jordan: Ok, we got enough film. Good work.
Camerapony: Alright. *Packing things up*
Pete: Where would you like to go next?
Jordan: Oh, we're finished.
Pete: What?
Jordan: Yeah, you provided us with a very perfect intro. Now we're going into Portland Oregon to film the rest of the video, but don't worry. We'll still be filming your trains. *Leaves*
Camerapony: *Follows*
Pete: *Walks to bench* Fucking liars.
Episode 20
It was a snowy day in Cheyenne. Everypony was working their hardest. Except Gordon. He was being very lazy, and refused to get a train out of the station.
Pete: Why won't you work this time?
Gordon: Because, I need help to repair this locomotive.
Pete: What's wrong with it?
Gordon: Everything. It's a steam engine. I want a diesel engine!
Pete: Gordon, I'm working on that, but unless you want Hawkeye to bother you, I suggest you be patient.
Gordon: Fuck patience. I want to drive a diesel!
Pete: *Sighs* You never listen. *walks away*
Gordon: *Climbs in locomotive*
Pete: *About to enter station*
Gordon: *Blows whistle twice*
Pete: *Turns around* Oh, now you decide to do your work!
Gordon: *drives out of station* Hahahaha! I love pissing off my boss. *Notices the cab* Aw, I left the fireman behind. Whatever, this engine burns oil anyway, so whatever. *drives faster*
-------------------------------------------
Pete: Now, please don't try to cause any trouble during your visit.
Gordon: You got it.
Michael: *Arrives*
Stylo: *Jumps onto platform from train*
Pete: Whoa. We got ourselves a little daredevil over here!
Stylo: *Laughes* I am a pegasus Mr. Reimer.
----------------------------------------------
Back in the yards, Gordon was driving his locomotive too fast.
Gordon: *Nearly derails passenger cars*
Passengers: Ah! Those cars nearly left the tracks.
Gordon: *Stops too quickly*
Everything in the passenger cars was airborne for a little while, and then they fell to the ground, and broke.
Passengers: *Entering train*
Gordon: *Uncouples locomotive from train*
Passengers: *sees debris* What is this?! Why are there broken plates in this car?
Gordon: Did I do that? *Gets back in locomotive, and drives away*
Michael: *Arrives at station* I think it's time to check on how Gordon's doing.
Passenger: Excuse me, there's broken plates all over the floor in every passenger car.
Michael: How is that possible?
Passenger: I think it had something to do with the switcher.
Michael: I'll speak to him right away.
Gordon: *Waiting in siding*
Michael: *Arrives* Were you switching a passenger train too fast?
Gordon: I wouldn't say too fast, but-
Michael: I don't like being lied to.
Gordon: I didn't know I was going too fast.
The End
Season 3 will begin before March
