Hello, everyone. My name is Robert C. Ockstain, and I have a something to tell all of you. Today, a group of people were shot up in the subway with an assault rifle. I mean, sure, the rifle was a watergun, and sure, everyone was enjoying themselves until the police came and shot the man. And sure, the man did throw down his gun and the police waited twenty seconds before opening fire onto the man, but this is all because the man in the subway was a psychotic asshole who deserved every bullet he had gotten. And what caused this man to go onto his killing spree that the police heroically prevented? A video game. As it turns out, the man had looked over at a Gamestop window and saw a trailer for Grand Theft Auto V and claimed, and I quote “Huh. That’s pretty cool”. Do you know what this means? This means that this man was a gamer. A synonym for “Psychotic Killer”. If this proves anything, its that video games are the biggest problem in the world. They cause things like murder, rape, child abuse, assault, terrorist attacks, Hitler, World War II, and every genocide in history. It even caused Jesus to be crucified. Video games killed Jesus. And yet these gamers- These filthy sadists- They praise these abominations by spending the “money” they “make” at their “jobs”. Or if you ask me, gamers are fat slobs with no jobs, who probably killed a poor old women to get that money. And if you too are a gamer (Or black AHEM) you too are part of the problem. Thankfully, with the help of my rich companion, Edward B. Jobs, we have created a way to please everyone who isn’t a gamer (Or female AHEM) The American Institution for Satanic Gamers (Which is All of Them). Here, you can send a gamer here, where we will give them many activities like Bonding with the fellow prisoners. Just look at Bubu, a 32 African Body-Builder arrested for several accounts of first degree rape. I’m sure he and the gamers will get along in a solitary room with no guards to stop it. And then there is the time they can spend helping officers, like being offered as target practice to help with the lack of cardboard cutouts. And my personal favorite, Shock Therapy. They can’t harm a soul if they can’t even stop drooling. It’s brilliant. And if you give your children a game, you are part of the problem. We will have you executed for crimes against humanity as your child is burned at the stake for even mentioning the Mario fucktard. So, if you are a gamer (Or you just don’t have enough Benjamins in your pocket AHEM) Then we have the place for you. Americas Institution for the Satanic Gamers Which is All of Them. The best way to stop gaming violence is with American violence. I’m Robert C. Ockstain, Hypo-Crite News.