Will the pain ever go away?
Bella fan fiction
“Smile sweetie.” Dad tried to tell me to do. It didn’t work. The crap that I was going through couldn’t be stopped anyway possible. Charlie wasn’t helping, Jacob wasn’t helping, not even work was helping. I wanted to curl up and die. My life sucked and all I wished was that I could get the pain through my body in one swift move. The pain didn’t want to cooperate. It wanted to scream at my soul to shut down. And it was working. Everything people told me from the beginning. It was to good to be true.
That night I didn’t touch my dinner. And I also didn’t finish my chemistry homework. Or any other assignment. I was failing in all my classes (of course Phys Ed included). I asked my dad if I could be excused and went up to my room with a small glass of water. I got my blanket off my chair and laid it out on the floor. I couldn’t sleep in the bed my father provided me with, because it smelled of Edward. Or, HIM as I referred to it. I got my pillow and laid down. I didn’t put my bed clothes on, just laying in my T-shirt and jeans on the blanket. I looked at my phone one last time and saw 1 new message:
Hey Bells, r u OK? I want to come see u but my dad said I couldn’t yet. I have the flu. Text me back. I love u. -Jacob.
I tried to smile but my lips wouldn’t provide the action, so I smiled in my brain and read the text again and again. I decided I would text him back, I didn’t want to close the door on Jacob, as much as I did the rest of the world.
Hi Jake. No, my world is caving in. I’m sorry about ur flu. Can I come c u? I miss u very much. I love u 2. Please don’t think I’m shutting you out. -Bella
I waited for about 30 minutes after that and decided I would check my e-mails instead to see if I’d gotten any new e-mails from Jake, mostly.
The computer I had was slow, but steady and it was all I had. I hadn’t minded it when HE was here. I’d only minded it when I was alone. I fidgeted because it was so slow and it made me scream inside.
Finally the piece of crap started up and let me get on my e-mail.
3 new e-mails, the computer told me. I expected all of them to be from Jake, but surprisingly one said, Acullen@mail.org. That couldn’t be right. Alice’s e-mail was AliceCullen@hotmail.com. Someone was either blackmailing me or tricking me.
From: Acullen@mail.org
To: BellaSwan@mail.org
Subject:
Hello Bella,
It’s Jasper. If it said Jasper you would think it would be something else. Not sure what but I know you, I am very sorry for the outburst. Alice was too afraid to tend to your e-mails. Esme misses you so much. You kept Edward in place. I’ll be visiting you soon, Bella. I promise you will be fine until I get there. Don’t answer back, please. Thank you.
Love, Jasper Cullen *your friend* :]
This time I really did smile. Jasper was coming to see me, I wouldn’t be alone. The fight was coming to an end, because where one Cullen goes, the rest follow. Like chain mail.
3 days later:
I was at school and I had my homework done because I’d been really excited for Jasper’s return. The day went really fast because Jasper was coming and I was just really excited. I had been texting Jake back with enthusiasm. He’d said hopefully the flu would go away soon but I still wasn’t aloud to see him….
I got in my truck and went home. I was eating again too, so I got a snack and put a bowl of chili in the microwave. I looked in the living room to be sure that Jasper wasn’t hiding in there with Edward or someone else…he wasn’t. I went up into my room to see my bed as it was and my sheets on the floor. I looked around, and something caught my eye…At first I thought it was Jasper. But I looked again and saw it was EDWARD!!!!! I rubbed my eyes to make sure I wasn’t kidding myself (I did this often). I wasn’t and it was true.
“Hello my love.” he said. I screamed and dropped what was in my hand. I ran up to him and hugged him tightly. “YOUR BACK!” I yelled. He hugged me back and then we kissed. “Are you staying?” I asked. “Yes.” He smiled. “Really?” “Really.” “Where’s Jasper?” I asked. “Jasper didn’t send that e-mail. I did.” “You did?” “I did.” I smiled and hugged him again. This was the perfect present. I would never forget that. “I love you.” I said. “Me too.” Edward said and picked me up, bridal style.
Bella fan fiction
“Smile sweetie.” Dad tried to tell me to do. It didn’t work. The crap that I was going through couldn’t be stopped anyway possible. Charlie wasn’t helping, Jacob wasn’t helping, not even work was helping. I wanted to curl up and die. My life sucked and all I wished was that I could get the pain through my body in one swift move. The pain didn’t want to cooperate. It wanted to scream at my soul to shut down. And it was working. Everything people told me from the beginning. It was to good to be true.
That night I didn’t touch my dinner. And I also didn’t finish my chemistry homework. Or any other assignment. I was failing in all my classes (of course Phys Ed included). I asked my dad if I could be excused and went up to my room with a small glass of water. I got my blanket off my chair and laid it out on the floor. I couldn’t sleep in the bed my father provided me with, because it smelled of Edward. Or, HIM as I referred to it. I got my pillow and laid down. I didn’t put my bed clothes on, just laying in my T-shirt and jeans on the blanket. I looked at my phone one last time and saw 1 new message:
Hey Bells, r u OK? I want to come see u but my dad said I couldn’t yet. I have the flu. Text me back. I love u. -Jacob.
I tried to smile but my lips wouldn’t provide the action, so I smiled in my brain and read the text again and again. I decided I would text him back, I didn’t want to close the door on Jacob, as much as I did the rest of the world.
Hi Jake. No, my world is caving in. I’m sorry about ur flu. Can I come c u? I miss u very much. I love u 2. Please don’t think I’m shutting you out. -Bella
I waited for about 30 minutes after that and decided I would check my e-mails instead to see if I’d gotten any new e-mails from Jake, mostly.
The computer I had was slow, but steady and it was all I had. I hadn’t minded it when HE was here. I’d only minded it when I was alone. I fidgeted because it was so slow and it made me scream inside.
Finally the piece of crap started up and let me get on my e-mail.
3 new e-mails, the computer told me. I expected all of them to be from Jake, but surprisingly one said, Acullen@mail.org. That couldn’t be right. Alice’s e-mail was AliceCullen@hotmail.com. Someone was either blackmailing me or tricking me.
From: Acullen@mail.org
To: BellaSwan@mail.org
Subject:
Hello Bella,
It’s Jasper. If it said Jasper you would think it would be something else. Not sure what but I know you, I am very sorry for the outburst. Alice was too afraid to tend to your e-mails. Esme misses you so much. You kept Edward in place. I’ll be visiting you soon, Bella. I promise you will be fine until I get there. Don’t answer back, please. Thank you.
Love, Jasper Cullen *your friend* :]
This time I really did smile. Jasper was coming to see me, I wouldn’t be alone. The fight was coming to an end, because where one Cullen goes, the rest follow. Like chain mail.
3 days later:
I was at school and I had my homework done because I’d been really excited for Jasper’s return. The day went really fast because Jasper was coming and I was just really excited. I had been texting Jake back with enthusiasm. He’d said hopefully the flu would go away soon but I still wasn’t aloud to see him….
I got in my truck and went home. I was eating again too, so I got a snack and put a bowl of chili in the microwave. I looked in the living room to be sure that Jasper wasn’t hiding in there with Edward or someone else…he wasn’t. I went up into my room to see my bed as it was and my sheets on the floor. I looked around, and something caught my eye…At first I thought it was Jasper. But I looked again and saw it was EDWARD!!!!! I rubbed my eyes to make sure I wasn’t kidding myself (I did this often). I wasn’t and it was true.
“Hello my love.” he said. I screamed and dropped what was in my hand. I ran up to him and hugged him tightly. “YOUR BACK!” I yelled. He hugged me back and then we kissed. “Are you staying?” I asked. “Yes.” He smiled. “Really?” “Really.” “Where’s Jasper?” I asked. “Jasper didn’t send that e-mail. I did.” “You did?” “I did.” I smiled and hugged him again. This was the perfect present. I would never forget that. “I love you.” I said. “Me too.” Edward said and picked me up, bridal style.
God and His priests and His kings
All were waiting
All will wait
As they go over
Mmm, held between heaven and hell
As they're dancing
As they dance over and over
Over
Cold
Cold
Crimson and bare as I stand
Yours completely
Yours as we go over
Sing for the lion and lamb
Their hearts are hunting
Still hearts hold ever and ever
Ever
Cold
Cold
God and His priests and His kings
Turn their faces
Even they feel the cold
Ooooooh, ooooooh
What you are given
Can't be forgotten
And never forsaken
What you are given
Can't be forgotten
And never forsaken
What you are given
Can't be forgotten
Cold
All were waiting
All will wait
As they go over
Mmm, held between heaven and hell
As they're dancing
As they dance over and over
Over
Cold
Cold
Crimson and bare as I stand
Yours completely
Yours as we go over
Sing for the lion and lamb
Their hearts are hunting
Still hearts hold ever and ever
Ever
Cold
Cold
God and His priests and His kings
Turn their faces
Even they feel the cold
Ooooooh, ooooooh
What you are given
Can't be forgotten
And never forsaken
What you are given
Can't be forgotten
And never forsaken
What you are given
Can't be forgotten
Cold
Touch me I'm cold, unable to control
Touch me I'm golden and wild as the wind blows
And tumbling, tumbling, don't go fascination
If just for tonight darling, let's get lost
If just for tonight darling, let's get lost
Let me come closer, I'm not your shadow
With our eyes shielded from the oncoming count
It's not hard for us to say what we should not
If just for tonight darling, let's get lost
If just for tonight darling, let's get lost
Touch me I'm cold, unable to control
Touch me I'm golden and wild as the wind blows
And tumbling, tumbling, don't go fascination
If just for tonight darling, let's get lost
If just for tonight darling, let's get lost
If just for tonight darling, let's get lost
Let's get lost
Let's get lost
Let's get lost
Let's get lost
Touch me I'm golden and wild as the wind blows
And tumbling, tumbling, don't go fascination
If just for tonight darling, let's get lost
If just for tonight darling, let's get lost
Let me come closer, I'm not your shadow
With our eyes shielded from the oncoming count
It's not hard for us to say what we should not
If just for tonight darling, let's get lost
If just for tonight darling, let's get lost
Touch me I'm cold, unable to control
Touch me I'm golden and wild as the wind blows
And tumbling, tumbling, don't go fascination
If just for tonight darling, let's get lost
If just for tonight darling, let's get lost
If just for tonight darling, let's get lost
Let's get lost
Let's get lost
Let's get lost
Let's get lost
An innocent child in New Orleans
A simple girl from simple means
Walked the rails
Rode her thumb
She hitched a ride with everyone
The regular, she’d rearrange
The girl knew how to chop and change
Chop and change (Ooo)
Chop and change (Yeah)
Chop and change (Oh, oh, oh)
Chop and change (Yeah) alright
Took a job working late
Jacking cars from out of state
She found no love in this town
So she’d never mess around
Had no luck, but ain’t it strange
The girl knew how to chop and change
Chop and change (Oh, oh)
Chop and change (Come on, come on, come on, come on yeah)
Chop and change (Chop and change)
Chop and change (Oh)
Alright
A simple girl from simple means
Walked the rails
Rode her thumb
She hitched a ride with everyone
The regular, she’d rearrange
The girl knew how to chop and change
Chop and change (Ooo)
Chop and change (Yeah)
Chop and change (Oh, oh, oh)
Chop and change (Yeah) alright
Took a job working late
Jacking cars from out of state
She found no love in this town
So she’d never mess around
Had no luck, but ain’t it strange
The girl knew how to chop and change
Chop and change (Oh, oh)
Chop and change (Come on, come on, come on, come on yeah)
Chop and change (Chop and change)
Chop and change (Oh)
Alright
Other lives, always tempted to trade
Will they hate me for all the choices I made
Will they stop when they see me again
I can’t stop now I know who I am
Now I’m all yours, I’m not afraid
And you’re all mine, say what they may
And all your love I’ll take to the grave
And all my life starts now
Tear me down, they can’t take you out of my thoughts
Under every scar there’s a battle I’ve lost
Will they stop when they see us again
I can’t stop now I know who I am
Now I’m all yours, I’m not afraid
And you’re all mine, say what they may
And all your love I’ll take to the grave
And all my life starts
I’m all yours, I’m not afraid
And you’re all mine, say what they may
And all your love I’ll take to the grave
And all my life starts
Starts now
Will they hate me for all the choices I made
Will they stop when they see me again
I can’t stop now I know who I am
Now I’m all yours, I’m not afraid
And you’re all mine, say what they may
And all your love I’ll take to the grave
And all my life starts now
Tear me down, they can’t take you out of my thoughts
Under every scar there’s a battle I’ve lost
Will they stop when they see us again
I can’t stop now I know who I am
Now I’m all yours, I’m not afraid
And you’re all mine, say what they may
And all your love I’ll take to the grave
And all my life starts
I’m all yours, I’m not afraid
And you’re all mine, say what they may
And all your love I’ll take to the grave
And all my life starts
Starts now
I think I know what’s on your mind
A couple words, a great divide
Waiting in the wings, a small respite
Crowding up the foreground from behind
Even though you’re the only one I see
It’s the last catastrophe
Place your bets on chance and apathy
Take anything you want, it’s fine
Keep up the slow life for the night
Don’t take it back, I’ll just deny
This constant noise all the time
Even though you’re the only one I see
It’s the last catastrophe
Place your bets on chance and apathy
From the wind in front of me
Even though you’re the only one I see
It’s the last catastrophe
Place your bets on chance and apathy
From the wind in front of me
Even though you’re the only one I see
A couple words, a great divide
Waiting in the wings, a small respite
Crowding up the foreground from behind
Even though you’re the only one I see
It’s the last catastrophe
Place your bets on chance and apathy
Take anything you want, it’s fine
Keep up the slow life for the night
Don’t take it back, I’ll just deny
This constant noise all the time
Even though you’re the only one I see
It’s the last catastrophe
Place your bets on chance and apathy
From the wind in front of me
Even though you’re the only one I see
It’s the last catastrophe
Place your bets on chance and apathy
From the wind in front of me
Even though you’re the only one I see
Up with your turret
Aren’t we just terrified
Shale, screen your worry
From what you won’t ever find
Don’t let it fool you
Don’t let it fool you, down
Down’s sitting round
Folds in the gown
Sea and the rock below
Cocked to the undertow
Bones, blood and teeth erode
With every crashing node
Wings wouldn’t help you
Wings wouldn’t help you, down
Death is around
Prayer in your smile
You barely are blinking
Wagging your face around
When’d this just become
A mortal home
Ahhhh
Won’t, won’t, won’t, won’t
Won’t let you talk me
Won’t let you talk me, down
Will pull it taut
Nothing now
Aren’t we just terrified
Shale, screen your worry
From what you won’t ever find
Don’t let it fool you
Don’t let it fool you, down
Down’s sitting round
Folds in the gown
Sea and the rock below
Cocked to the undertow
Bones, blood and teeth erode
With every crashing node
Wings wouldn’t help you
Wings wouldn’t help you, down
Death is around
Prayer in your smile
You barely are blinking
Wagging your face around
When’d this just become
A mortal home
Ahhhh
Won’t, won’t, won’t, won’t
Won’t let you talk me
Won’t let you talk me, down
Will pull it taut
Nothing now
Ah, ah, ah ,ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
I seek you out
Flay you alive
One more word and you won’t survive
And I’m not scared of your stolen power
See right through you any hour
I won’t soothe your pain
I won’t ease your strain
You’ll be waiting in vain
I got nothing for you to gain
I’m taking it slow
Feeding my flame
Shuffling the cards of your game
And just in time
In the right place
Suddenly I will play my ace
I won’t soothe your pain
(Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah)
I won’t ease your strain
(Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah)
You’ll be waiting in vain
(Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah)
I got nothing for you to gain
Eyes on fire
Your spine is ablaze
Felling any foe with my gaze
And just in time
In the right place
Steadily emerging with grace
Aaaaahhhhh
Felling any foe with my gaze
Aaaaahhhhh
Steadily emerging with grace
Aaaaahhhhh
Felling any foe with my gaze
Aaaaahhhhh
Steadily emerging with grace
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
I seek you out
Flay you alive
One more word and you won’t survive
And I’m not scared of your stolen power
See right through you any hour
I won’t soothe your pain
I won’t ease your strain
You’ll be waiting in vain
I got nothing for you to gain
I’m taking it slow
Feeding my flame
Shuffling the cards of your game
And just in time
In the right place
Suddenly I will play my ace
I won’t soothe your pain
(Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah)
I won’t ease your strain
(Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah)
You’ll be waiting in vain
(Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah)
I got nothing for you to gain
Eyes on fire
Your spine is ablaze
Felling any foe with my gaze
And just in time
In the right place
Steadily emerging with grace
Aaaaahhhhh
Felling any foe with my gaze
Aaaaahhhhh
Steadily emerging with grace
Aaaaahhhhh
Felling any foe with my gaze
Aaaaahhhhh
Steadily emerging with grace