Look around you, I told myself, over and over and over again. Look around you, and cry. Cry freely, girl.
But I didn't. I couldn't find the strength to cry... to make the tears fall from my eyes. I didn't think I was ready to let the tears hit the ground with a soft patter; to wince at the sad and depressing sound that came from my mouth; to let Duncan see that I couldn't handle anything.
I looked up at him. His eyes were glazed and pained as he gazed into mine. I immediately felt a pang of guilt, and I sighed.
"Mina?" He brushed my cheek.
I didn't answer. I wanted to cry -- yet I didn't... I had no idea why. I wanted to let it all go, yet the other half of me, the more determined half.. warned me not to let it go until it was the right time.
Whatever that was.
"Duncan..." I would do it. I would break up with Duncan. "I'm... sorry." Well, that's great, my sarcasm inside me sneered. You're sorry. How delightful. Want me to tell you I'm sorry, too?
No. That won't help, I pleaded with myself.
That's wonderful. So... go ahead and tell him you're sorry..
SHUT UP!! I screamed to myself.
I paused. Duncan didn't say anything, he regarded me, nervous, sad, and he knew what was happening. But could I do it? Maybe I was being dumb. Who was I to break up with him? Why did I do it? If I had no reason... then why?
"I understand you, Mina," he said quietly, his eyes becoming shinier by the moment.
"That's good," I whispered, looking down.
"I know what you want." He paused, looking at me one time over. "But before... please, Mina... tell me why."
"What?" I was startled by his question.
"What did I do?" He was still as upset as he ever was.
I closed my eyes, hoping they'd stay that way forever, so that I'd never have to see anything ever again. Blackness was better. I could see clearly. Everything else as blurred with tears.
"Nothing." My voice was almost inaudible.
"Then why--" Duncan broke off, then tried to pull back. "Let me guess. You've moved on."
I could have said yes then, to make everything so mcuh easier... but I didn't. Something in me was protesting... and I couldn't help but notice. My longing for Duncan burned in me, and I hated myself for doing this as much as I hated myself for everything else in the world that I did wrong. But that something burned strong in the depth of my heart... and whatever it was, that something made me disagree.
"No," I murmured, my voice muffled. "It's not that."
"You don't like me anymore..." he guessed, clearly not realizing the double-meaning in his sentence.
That hit me with so much regret that I suddenly sprang back to life again. "No!" I protested. "I like you too much, Duncan. That's the problem."
He didn't get it. To be honest, I didn't, either.
Duncan was confused. "Then what.." he didn't finish.
"I'll go," I said softly. "You don't want me to be here."
I stood up, and I ran, as fast as I could in my coffee-brown and white flats, ignoring with all my will when Duncan called back to me.
I refused to turn my head back even once, because I knew my desire for him would take over. So I ran.
I threw open my penthouse door, and I ran, sobbing, into my bedroom. It wasn't fair. Duncan loved... me? He was too perfect. He could find someone like him; every inch as perfect as he is.
I flung myself face-first onto my pillow.
And I cried, letting my cry muffle against the pillow.
I loved, with the strong longing for Duncan somewhere in my heart.
I saw the world as it was... dark and horrible and loveless.
Speak, Mina, speak.
Love, Mina, love.
Cry, Mina, cry... <3
But I didn't. I couldn't find the strength to cry... to make the tears fall from my eyes. I didn't think I was ready to let the tears hit the ground with a soft patter; to wince at the sad and depressing sound that came from my mouth; to let Duncan see that I couldn't handle anything.
I looked up at him. His eyes were glazed and pained as he gazed into mine. I immediately felt a pang of guilt, and I sighed.
"Mina?" He brushed my cheek.
I didn't answer. I wanted to cry -- yet I didn't... I had no idea why. I wanted to let it all go, yet the other half of me, the more determined half.. warned me not to let it go until it was the right time.
Whatever that was.
"Duncan..." I would do it. I would break up with Duncan. "I'm... sorry." Well, that's great, my sarcasm inside me sneered. You're sorry. How delightful. Want me to tell you I'm sorry, too?
No. That won't help, I pleaded with myself.
That's wonderful. So... go ahead and tell him you're sorry..
SHUT UP!! I screamed to myself.
I paused. Duncan didn't say anything, he regarded me, nervous, sad, and he knew what was happening. But could I do it? Maybe I was being dumb. Who was I to break up with him? Why did I do it? If I had no reason... then why?
"I understand you, Mina," he said quietly, his eyes becoming shinier by the moment.
"That's good," I whispered, looking down.
"I know what you want." He paused, looking at me one time over. "But before... please, Mina... tell me why."
"What?" I was startled by his question.
"What did I do?" He was still as upset as he ever was.
I closed my eyes, hoping they'd stay that way forever, so that I'd never have to see anything ever again. Blackness was better. I could see clearly. Everything else as blurred with tears.
"Nothing." My voice was almost inaudible.
"Then why--" Duncan broke off, then tried to pull back. "Let me guess. You've moved on."
I could have said yes then, to make everything so mcuh easier... but I didn't. Something in me was protesting... and I couldn't help but notice. My longing for Duncan burned in me, and I hated myself for doing this as much as I hated myself for everything else in the world that I did wrong. But that something burned strong in the depth of my heart... and whatever it was, that something made me disagree.
"No," I murmured, my voice muffled. "It's not that."
"You don't like me anymore..." he guessed, clearly not realizing the double-meaning in his sentence.
That hit me with so much regret that I suddenly sprang back to life again. "No!" I protested. "I like you too much, Duncan. That's the problem."
He didn't get it. To be honest, I didn't, either.
Duncan was confused. "Then what.." he didn't finish.
"I'll go," I said softly. "You don't want me to be here."
I stood up, and I ran, as fast as I could in my coffee-brown and white flats, ignoring with all my will when Duncan called back to me.
I refused to turn my head back even once, because I knew my desire for him would take over. So I ran.
I threw open my penthouse door, and I ran, sobbing, into my bedroom. It wasn't fair. Duncan loved... me? He was too perfect. He could find someone like him; every inch as perfect as he is.
I flung myself face-first onto my pillow.
And I cried, letting my cry muffle against the pillow.
I loved, with the strong longing for Duncan somewhere in my heart.
I saw the world as it was... dark and horrible and loveless.
Speak, Mina, speak.
Love, Mina, love.
Cry, Mina, cry... <3
kari was snowboarding waiting for everyone else to wake up.
trent:woah gnarly moves.
kari:heheh thanks.
chris had a meghorn:EVERYONE MEET ME IN THE MESS HALL!
kari fell:GAH!
groan
(she rubbbed her head)
in the mess hall:
kari dumped her tray:SOMEDAY BUT NOT TODAY!
trent:you can have my toast kari.
kari smiled at him.
duncan:how can ANYONE eat this slop?!
leshawna:dont know about yall but I aint eating this.
lindsay:me neither.
confessions of kari:
peh todays challange:EATING CHEFS SLOP!
ha!
trent:woah gnarly moves.
kari:heheh thanks.
chris had a meghorn:EVERYONE MEET ME IN THE MESS HALL!
kari fell:GAH!
groan
(she rubbbed her head)
in the mess hall:
kari dumped her tray:SOMEDAY BUT NOT TODAY!
trent:you can have my toast kari.
kari smiled at him.
duncan:how can ANYONE eat this slop?!
leshawna:dont know about yall but I aint eating this.
lindsay:me neither.
confessions of kari:
peh todays challange:EATING CHEFS SLOP!
ha!
brooke:*sees note* met me in the woods,duncan.okay.
gwen:*sitting under a tree*
duncan:hey
gwen:oh,hey
duncan:what are you doing?
gwen:nothin,you
duncan:waiting for brooke to come.
gwen:okay,*sigh*
duncan:whats wrong?
gwen:i heard trent was gonna ask me out again,and,i might have said yes,and sumer already asked him and he said yes.
duncan:if he liked you,he would have said no
gwen:youre right.
duncan:*put arm around gwen*
gwen:thanks for cheering me up.
DUNCAN:no prob.
look at the pic to see what happens next.
brooke:duncan?duncan,i got your HUH!*tears run down face*
chris:oh,no. what will happen next?find out after the break!
now i know the pic is stuck,here the link.
link
k, since i was bored and NO ONE left a comment,i picked for them AGAIN.
chris:you have all casted your votes,if i call your name,please stand over there.courtney,brooke,dj,izzy,youre safe. Denise,katie,lizzie,and zoe,your safe.
the alst two,jim,and duncan,the final marshmellow goes to*dramatic music*...................................................DUNCAN!
brooke:YEAH!*hugs him*
jim:but,what did i do?
zoe:we just dont like you.
jim:okay,but before i leave,id like to say,that,zoe,i liked you
all:WHAT?
jim:i was gonna ask you out but,i was too scared.
zoe:i would have said no.
duncan:told you!
chris:well, thats all, see the behind drama,next on Total,drama,highschool!
chris:you have all casted your votes,if i call your name,please stand over there.courtney,brooke,dj,izzy,youre safe. Denise,katie,lizzie,and zoe,your safe.
the alst two,jim,and duncan,the final marshmellow goes to*dramatic music*...................................................DUNCAN!
brooke:YEAH!*hugs him*
jim:but,what did i do?
zoe:we just dont like you.
jim:okay,but before i leave,id like to say,that,zoe,i liked you
all:WHAT?
jim:i was gonna ask you out but,i was too scared.
zoe:i would have said no.
duncan:told you!
chris:well, thats all, see the behind drama,next on Total,drama,highschool!
Sumer:*sits by the fire*
duncan: *sees her and walks over* What are you doing?
sumer:oh,nothing.
duncan:*lays back* Why you here?
sumer:why are you?
duncan:cause you are
sumer:i goota tell you, me,brooke,and jackie all like you.
duncan:really, hmm..
sumer:who do you like best?
duncan:....well
sumer:hang on im gonna get a blanket brb.
duncan:okay
chris:blahblahblah! lets see some action!
jared:*walks through halls*
voice:hello,jared.
jared:who are you?
voice:i am....
last time on total drama restaurant the team goyt to make the breakfast what would hapend today on total drama restaurant!!!!!!!
cris :today chef will do the chalenge
chef:today we are going to split teams
the new teams are going to be new chefs vs. old campers
every one :huhhhhhhhhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhh
chef:the good new is that u can do anything you want
jared :but courtney and i are not going to be on the same team
chef:*i know*
old ones:we should still chefs food and then say that is ours :D
to be continue...................................
cris :today chef will do the chalenge
chef:today we are going to split teams
the new teams are going to be new chefs vs. old campers
every one :huhhhhhhhhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhh
chef:the good new is that u can do anything you want
jared :but courtney and i are not going to be on the same team
chef:*i know*
old ones:we should still chefs food and then say that is ours :D
to be continue...................................
thanks for taking me here-Brittani
no prob-Duncan
*they kiss*
your really nice-Brittani
what?-Duncan
i said...-Brittani
no i know what you said dont ever say it again its not true-Duncan
dont lie to me-Brittani
im not-Duncan
i will get Jacki to beat the truth outa you-Brittani
im not lieing-Duncan
fine whatever-Brittani
(After the date at Brittani's house)
*making out*-Brittani n' Duncan
goes to second base-Duncan
OH HELL NO I SAW THAT IM GONNA KICK YOUR ASS YOU LITTLE WOMANIZER-Jacki
oh no-Duncan
*chases Duncan*-Jacki
JACKI STOP LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!-Brittani
HE TOUCHED YOU!!!IM GONNA KILL HIM!!!-Jacki
*grabs Jacki*DUNCAN GRAB HER I'LL GET THE DUCK TAPE-Brittani
LET GO OF ME...what are you gonna do with that tape-Jacki
hurry help me tape her up-Brittani
*tapes up Jacki's mouth and hands*
mhmm mh hm mhmh hmh-Jacki
ok well just let her calm down-Brittani
TO BE CONTINUDE
Izzy is confident but she still has MANY moments but thats just her
Izzy is not a super model she still eats Mc.Donalds baby but that is just her
Well some may say she needs to be afraid of losing everything because of her down right craziness
Well Every thing is the sam in the Lala land\....
Izzy wont change anything in her life she is definitely staying herself on TDI!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lalalalalalalaalalalaalallaalalalalaalalala
Well some may say easy needs to be afraid of losing everything because of her insanely loving way to like Owen
Well everything is the same in the Lalalala land
LALALALALALALALAL
Izzy is not a super model she still eats Mc.Donalds baby but that is just her
Well some may say she needs to be afraid of losing everything because of her down right craziness
Well Every thing is the sam in the Lala land\....
Izzy wont change anything in her life she is definitely staying herself on TDI!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lalalalalalalaalalalaalallaalalalalaalalala
Well some may say easy needs to be afraid of losing everything because of her insanely loving way to like Owen
Well everything is the same in the Lalalala land
LALALALALALALALAL