Orange Is the New Black recap: 'Pissters!' 

Taylor Schilling, Natasha Lyonne, Kate Mulgrew, Laura Prepon

After two episodes of almost nonstop action this season on

, “Pissters!” lets the inmates take a little time to breathe and realize they need to settle in for the long haul if they really want this insurrection to succeed. It’s a nice break for the audience as well, but a couple of storytelling staples seem to indicate that the s— is about to hit the fan again.

But first — the outside world finally realizes what’s going on inside Litchfield after all the captured guards, plus Caputo and Josh, are stripped and photographed. Having these hostages gives the inmates some power, so the guards outside and MCC finally ask the prisoners what their demands are — and an anti-gravity chamber is definitely priority No. 1. Good call.

But in all seriousness, luckily there are enough leaders keeping their wits about them, and the inmates manage to come together and make excellent suggestions as to what needs to change inside Litchfield. While Taystee, who is overcome with grief, is understandably upset that “arrest Bayley” is not their first demand, the rest of the inmates understand what the underlying problem really is — the guards.

Season 4 masterfully built to the riot in an organic way by privatizing the prison and putting a crew of guards in place who have absolutely no business in their positions. Piscatella, an alpha male who constantly needs to assert his authority and also views the inmates through a very distorted lens, is the worst person to be in charge. Couple that with a severe lack of training and Litchfield became a powder keg just waiting to explode due to the guards’ inappropriate behavior.

So it’s smart on the part of the inmates that demand No. 1 is: “Replace all current guards with properly trained ones.” And honestly, after what happened with Bayley and Poussey, which was due at least in part to lack of proper training, MCC should have no trouble giving in to this one. It’s actually a great PR move for them, and we all know that’s all they really care about.

The other demands may be a little harder to come by, only because MCC has proven to be such a tightwad about money. But none of the demands are unreasonable, and the calm way in which the inmates arrive at their list and post it to the prison windows might give us some hope that this will resolve itself in a generally positive way… if this were happening in episode 11 of the season, rather than episode 3.

Unfortunately, a few red flags and the fact that we have a long season ahead of us are making me nervous.

First, the amnesty demand says “provided that there are no casualties,” just as we see a montage of the guards preparing to make their move against the inmates and Judy King getting chased through the yard by the white nationalists as she tries to make a break for it. Plus, Humphrey is just sitting in the hallway in a chair with a penis drawn on his forehead. It’s not like he really deserves much better, but if he dies… that’s game over for at least Daya, and probably a lot of other people.

Second, Piper has the gall to say during dinner, “I like how calm it is in here. I think everything is going to be okay.” OMG, SHUT UP, PIPER. You are just asking for everything to go sideways, and you aren’t even really participating in the process, so take your rainbow-colored BS and shove it.

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