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posted by Seanthehedgehog
A lot of people think Moonraker is the worst Bond film, but what about Nightmare Moonraker?

We begin in western europe, as an airplane with ponies that are learning to skydive is flying 30,000 feet above the air

Russian pony: I have never done this before. Have you?
Con: No.
Russian pony: Oh you from United States of Equestria?
Con: Yeah. So is this pony
Luna: Hi.
Russian pony: Hello *casts a spell*
Con: What are you doing?
Russian pony: *turns luna evil*
Nightmare moon: *grabs parachutes*
Con: What did you do?
Russian pony: I turned Luna evil!
Con: You sick asshole *hits russian*
Russian pony: *pushes Con toward door*
Con: *opens door*
Russian pony: Whoa *nearly falls out*
Con: *hits russian*
Nightmare moon: *gives russian parachute*
Russian: *falls out*
Con: Where did he get that?
Nightmare moon: *pushes Con out of plane*
Con: *falls*
Nightmare moon: *puts on parachute*
Con: *spots russian*
Russian pony: *falling 100 miles an hour*
Con: *falls faster*
Russian pony: Wat?!
Con: *hits russian*
Russian pony: *kicks Con*
Con: *grabs parachute*
Nightmare moon: *jumps out of plane*
Russian pony: You can't have it!
Con: Why not?
Russian pony: Because then I'll die!
Con: good *takes parachute*
Russian pony: NOOOOO!!!
Con: *puts on parachute*
Nightmare moon: *falling toward Con*
Con: 0_o
Nightmare moon: *grabs Con*
Con: *deploys parachute*
Nightmare moon: Damn! Almost had him! *pulls string* Well at least I have wings. *flies away*
Con: Thank god she's gone

Fillies & Gentlecolts, I present to you the 9th Con Mane story, Nightmare Moonraker

Starring

Doughnut Joe................................Con Mane
Russians.......................................Bad guys
Germans........................................Good guys
Princess Luna.................................Nightmare Moon
Twilight Sparkle...............................Twilight Goodhead
Pinkie Pie.........................................P
Spike................................................S
Fenix Lighter....................................Theirselves
Drake Hugo
Iron Will

Cars provided by

Coltillac
Dodge
Chevronet
Foallari
Hoofington

After the horrible events of Nightmare Moon arriving, Con made his way to Canterlot.

S: Con, come in!
Con: I'm here S. What is it?
S: I was testing something out, and P wants to tell you something.
P: *pushes S* Hallo?
Con: P, how are you?
P: Very scared! Nightmare Moon is joined forces with an evil pony in Russia. They plan to leave our planet, and destroy it. Your mission is to stop them from destroying the world.
Con: Who is Nightmare Moon working with?
P: Drake Hugo, a german scientist that is also an expert with spaceships.
Con: And he's in russia?
P: In stalliongrad to be exact.
Con: Alright. I'm heading there right now.
P: M.I.3 will be sending an agent to help you. She's a purple unicorn with a black man's voice.
Con: Twilight Goodhead. Fenix told me about her.
P: Ach. Well you two should get along then. Over und out!

Con went into Stalliongrad where he met Agent Goodhead.

Twilight: Man I still have this black man's accent! Even in a James Bond parody!
Con: Hello Miss. Goodhead.
Twilight: Who R U?
Con: I come from the C.I.E. My name is Mane. Con Mane, and Fenix Lighter has told me about you.
Twilight: Man, he told me about you. What are we up to?
Con: Didn't your boss tell you?
Twilight: No man, I don't get told anything!
Con: We have to stop the russians, from destroying the world. They have very powerful missiles, and only need to aim at three cities.
Twilight: Alright then let's go. I know a secret way into their base.

So the two spies went to the secret place. All they had to do was take the cable car down into a lower part of Stalliongrad.

Con: So we just take the cablecar & we're there?
Twilight: No man, we go by car the rest of the way.
Con: Do you have your own?
Twilight: No, but I can steal one. Don't tell anypony though.
Con: *laughs* I won't

Suddenly the cable car stopped.

Twilight: Why did we stop?
Con: I don't know. Let's go on the roof *climbs up*
Twilight: *follows Con*
NMM: *riding other cable car*
Con: Oh no.
Twilight: What's wrong?
Con: See that black alicorn heading toward us?
Twilight: Man, that's RACIST!! what about her?
Con: That's Nightmare Moon, and all she cares about is making others miserable.
Nightmare Moon: Stop the car!
Bald pony: *stops cable car*
Con: Well now that we're both on top of cars on cable 500 feet above ground, what are we gonna do?
NMM: *jumps onto other cable car*
Con: Wha-
NMM: *hits Con*
Twilight: *losing balance*
Con: *hits NMM*
Twilight: *gains balance*
NMM: *pushes Twilight*
Twilight: Man, I just got my balance!
Con: *grabs Twilight* You ok?
Twilight: Yeah man, thanks *hits NMM*
Con: *opens part of roof*
NMM: *kicks Con*
Twilight: *pushes NMM into cablecar*
Con: *locks door* Hand me that hook
Twilight: *gives Con hook*
NMM: *hits roof*
Con: *puts hook on cable* Hold on to me
Twilight: Alright let's go
Con: *goes down line*
NMM: Make the right car go
bald pony: *makes cable car go*
Twilight: Man, she's getting closer to us!
Con: Just hang on.
NMM: FASTER!
Bald pony: *makes car go faster*
Twilight: *sweats nervously*
NMM: *laughs villianously*
Con: JUMP *falls on ground*
Twilight: *falls on ground*
NMM: NO!
Bald pony: *runs away*
NMM: OH SHIIIIIIIIIIT!!! *runs into station*
Con: Even cable cars can crash.
NMM: *stuck in debris*
Iron will: May I help you?
NMM: yes
Iron will: *gets debris off NMM*
NMM: *falls in love with Iron Will*
Iron Will: *does the same with NMM*

Con & Twilight continued to the secret base.

Twilight: Alright were here. We need to sneak in *turns invisible*
Con: *turns invisible*
Russian pony35: *enters base*
Con & Twilight: *follow russian*
Russian pony35: hm?
Twilight: *snaps russian's neck*
Russian pony45: Hold on. *walks toward Twilight*
Con: *puts silencer on gun*
Russian pony45: huh? Там есть плавающая пушка! *there's a floating gun*
Con: *shoots russian pony*
Russian pony36: Там есть плавающая пушка!
Con: *kills that russian* How many are we dealing with here?
Twilight: Man I don't know! Find cover!
Russian pony57: Liars. А ты дремал на работу тоже! *Liars. And you're napping on the job too!*
Con: Являются ли они? *Are they?*
Russian pony57: *grabs gun* Who's there? Show yourself!
Con: *turns visible* I was infront of you the whole time. *kills russian pony*
Twilight: Nice man *takes gun* We gotta go now *runs into hallway*
Con: They're all working out.
Twilight: How long are these guys going into space?
Con: No clue. If it's past an hour maybe for a month.
Russian pony64: Эй. Вы двое! А здесь *Hey. You two! Over here*
Con: Da?
Russian pony64: Получить в том, что машина! *Get in that machine!*
Con: Ok. *gets in*
Twilight: Человек как насчет меня? *Man what about me?!*
Russian pony64: Оставайся здесь со мной *stay here with me* *activates machine*
Con: *spins in circle*
Russian pony: *makes it faster*
Con: I... think I'm.. gonna barho *tries to use magic*
Russian pony64: 200 miles an hour. He'll die if it's any faster *makes machine faster*
Con: *disables machine*
Russian pony64: *looks at speedometer*
Twilight: *kills russian pony*
Con: *gets out*
Twilight: You alright?
Con: I'm alright. Let's just not make another spin on things.
Twilight: Right *walks down hallway*

The two spies went on until they reached the space ships.

Twilight: Man we found the spaceships.
Con: Hey, look over there.
Twilight: They have a map of the cities they're attacking.
Con: San Fran, Tokyo, and Hong Kong.
Twilight: Man if we're to stop those rockets from hitting them cities we have to get on the ship. I have a plan. *teleports them onto ship*
Con: Perfect. We just need to get in disguise now.
Twilight: Right *gets disguise*
Con: *stares at Twilight's ass*
Twilight: May I help you?
Con: You already are *gets in disguise*
Twilight: *gets in disguise* We need to kill everypony in this room. There's a machine we gotta disable if we're to prevent the missiles from taking off.
Con: I see it. *grabs gun*
Twilight: *sneaks toward machine*
Con: *kills enemies*
Twilight: *disables machine* Got it. LOOK OUT!
Con: Why?
NMM: *hits Con*
Con: You! *wrestles NMM*
Twilight: Man leave him alone! *kicks NMM*
NMM: *hits Twilight*
Con: *grabs pipe*
NMM: *kicks con*
Con: *hits NMM with pipe*
NMM: *grabs pipe, and bends it in half*
Drake: That's enough! Seize them!
Russians: *arrest Twilight & Con*
Drake: What were you thinking Mr. Mane?
Con: That I would stop a mad scientist, but I guess not.
Drake: You have guessed correctly. Put these two in the prison cells.
Russians: *take Con & twilight to prison cells*
Drake: You did an excellent job fighting them.
NMM: Thank you. Now I must go. I brought Iron Will on here with me, and I do not want to keep him waiting.

Con & Twilight were in the prison cells on the ship, but they still had a radio.

Twilight: Man, can anypony hear me?
S: Is that you Twilight? Where's Mane?
Con: Right here S. Listen, we need you to call in reinforcements from M.I.3.
S: Is that neccesary? Where are you two?
Russian pony87: *hears radio*
Twilight: Man just do it!
Russian pony87: Who are you talking to?
Twilight: Con man. Nopony else I can talk to.
Russian pony87: Well uh, keep it quiet.
Con: Sure *breaks jail door*
Russian pony74: HEY!
Twilight: *shoots enemy*
Con: *takes pistol*
NMM: Sir? Con & Twilight have escaped.
Drake: Then what are you sitting there for? Go get them!
NMM: Yes sir
Drake: *drives into space station* Colonel, how many missiles do we have?
Russian colonel: 95 sir.
Drake: Perfect. More then enough for our attack!

Meanwhile

Twilight: They're about to launch some missiles. Try to get their serial number. We can type them in this computer, and they won't launch.
Con: Alright. You type, I'll tell you what numbers to hit. 4-3-2
Twilight: *hits numbers*
Con: Good. Next one is 6-5-9
Twilight: *hits numbers*
Con: Perfect. Only two more, next one is 4-6-2
Twilight: *hits numbers*
Con: And for the grand finale, a four digit number. 2-6-6-6
Twilight: Man that's too easy *hits numbers*
Con: We got them all. Now we have to destroy the weaponry.
Drake: Or you can surrender? Hooves up
Con: 20 soldiers, really?
NMM: I'm one of them.
Con: He's just using you. Nopony would hire you for anything.
NMM: Seriously?
Drake: Shut up, now!
Con: Luna, you've seen the way he treated you when you informed him about our escape. How did it make you feel?
NMM: *turns back into Luna*
Drake: NOO! Kill all three of them!
Germans: *shoot space station*
Drake: *falls on floor*
Russian pony42: It's the germans!
Fenix: Watch your fire. We have two friendlies in there.
German captain: Ten 4 Commander.
German pony55: *shoots weaponry*
Drake: Stop them!
Russians: *get toward artillery guns*
Con: *shoots three russians*
German pony38: We have enemy turrets aiming at us!
Russian pony95: *aims turret*
German pony24: *shoots turret*
Con: *runs after Drake*
Luna: Where is he going?
Twilight: After Drake. Don't worry about it. *kills russian*

Con chased Drake toward a loading bay in the space station.

Con kept chasing Drake until he got to a room where more missiles were being launched.

Drake: You seemed to have lost me. Where do you think these are heading?
Con: *disables machine*
Drake: You were lucky that time Mane. It won't happen again!
Russian pony83: *runs in*
Con: *kills russian*
Drake: Why are you doing this, when you can join me? The world sucks!
Con: *destroys other machine*
Drake: How about if I operate two of them at once?
Con: *destroys first*
Drake: Stop that! I ORDER YOU!
Con: *destroys other machine*
Drake: NO NO NO!! *runs in room*
Con: Ah, so nice to see you Drake.
Drake: *hits Con*
Con: Hey take it easy. *opens door* Why don't you take a giant step for ponykind?
Drake: *goes through door*
Con: *gets Drake into space* Forgot your space suit? Oh well.

Con & Twilight now had to escape, but there was something blocking the way.

Luna: I'll get that out of your way. Go without me.
Con: Are you sure? Who's going to raise the moon?
Luna: My sister can, Now go!
Con: *leaves space station*
Iron Will: *brings champagne bottle*
Luna: Here's to us. *opens bottle*

Luna got out with magic, and would try not to become Nightmare Moon ever again.

The End

Con Mane will return in For Your I's Only.
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: deviantart, joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: facebook, joyreactor, deviantart
This story may contain Black Comedy (the type of comedy Dead Rising uses).
So, be aware of that..

Guest staring..

Mary Sue - SeantheHedgehog.. I would give a picture at the end, but I sadly can't. I don't have a lap top,,


Big Mac was holding the crusaders hostage, but at one point had thoughts of guilt..
Scoot: (unfortunately ruining the guilt) So Big Mac... Dose your mother no your gay?
Big Mac: What!? No!
Crusaders: (all laughing) She dosen't know!
Big Mac: (getting annoyed) No.. I meant. No. I'm not gay.. Not.. No my mother Dosen't know I'm gay!
Sweetie Belle: No. It's cool.. Rainbow Dash is also...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
The Classroom

Starring Snow Wonder as Ms. Schultz
Tom as Gary
Astrel Sky as Maria
Sunny as herself
Pleiades as Brianna
Double Scoop as James
Aina as Lauren

As some of you already know, some ponies despise going to school. Some of those ponies, are all the ones in Ms. Schultz's class.

Sunny: Geez, why do you always give us hard questions?
Gary: I got something hard, but I think you'll like it.
Audience: *Clapping, and whistling*
Lauren: These questions are so difficult!
Ms. Schultz: Complaining will not help.
Brianna: Sure it will. If we continue complaining for a certain amount of time, you'll...
continue reading...
added by tinkerbell66799
Source: Original Owners (NOT ME!!
posted by Canada24
LATER THAT SAME EVENING:

A familiar little orange filly landed onto the grass.

"You okay?" Rainbow asked, as the colorful pegasus hovered from above.

Scootaloo noded, as she got up.

"Good.. You were really close that time" Dash said encouragingly.

Suddenly they heard cheering, and Spike was seen cheering on Scootaloo, but as if high on sugar.

"Sweetie. I'm glad you and him are still pals, but did you 'really' have to bring him?" Dash groaned.

"Coarse I did" Scootaloo said proudly.

Dash let out a big sigh, as Spike, though obviously not meaning to, was getting more annoying than encouraging.

"Whatever....
continue reading...
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD, deviantart, joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: original owners, EQD, tumblr, joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: original owners, EQD, tumblr, joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: original owners, EQD, tumblr, joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: original owners, EQD, tumblr, joycreator
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: original owners, EQD, tumblr, google
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: joyreactor
posted by Canada24
Several days has passed, and it was getting close to Nightmare Night.

Ditto, was still yet to be changed for the better.

But even he, was excited for Nightmare night.

Scootaloo, who is hinted as in ponyville, to actually have any real hope for Celestia's 'X student', wants him to help be apart of this years haunted house.

It didn't seem like it would be of help for the reforming, but the main six allowed it anyway.

"Well. At least there's something to actually look forward to" Ditto said, still as grumpy as he was when he first arrived.

"Yes.. But first you have to help us prepare it, witch won't...
continue reading...
added by caesar213
added by shadirby
Source: Blue-Paint-Sea on deviantArt
added by StarWarsFan7
Source: Veggie55 on deviantART
added by karinabrony
added by karinabrony
added by polarwagon15