Dear Michael, our dearest Michael, I'm sorry for the way I am. I'm sorry for being so negative. I don't try to be this was, to be frank. I'm doing this because I mean it. I really mean it. I hope you're not disappointed or displeased of me. Believe me, I really don't try to be mean. It's either because of my Asperger syndrome I have (which I consider an illness even though it's not) or that the devil is trying to take over my me. But deep in my soul and heart I'm NOT evil or cold hearted and I don't want anybody especially you thinking that I am cause that's not right. It's just that the fact that you're gone is making so tense ever sense. I'm just in pain right now. Depression and loneliness and emptiness and nothingness inside me and I got nobody to help me out. Michael, I know you're not going to like what I'm about to say and that goes to whomever is reading this too. I am much much more than sorry about the day I tried to cu... Well,you know what. I did it for two reasons: 1. I felt like I needed it. I needed something to express how I feel. 2. I wanted to take the pain for whomever is suffering in this world. But no worries. Even though I'm still so lonely and so sad, I'm not an emo anymore. What I did to myself is what emos do to themselves and it's completely wrong ( and painful. Literally).You taught us a lot, Michael. What love and kindness is all about, how to smile even though I'm sad, I can go on 24/7. I feel like I took all what you taught for granted. I even feel like I sinned. If I did I really didn't mean to. I wish there was some way I can make it up to you. But what? I'm thinking about joining the ASPCA thing but I don't know how like you do. You see, I love planet earth too. Just like you do. I want to help but I need help myself but who would be willing to help me? I feel useless. You are the most popular, successful, and nicest and wonderful man that ever set foot on the planet and me...I'm just a sketch artist, a pianist and a beginners contortionist. Michael, even though this world is a mess, you still didn't give up on it. You had whatever it took to make the world a better place. And you nkow what, I say you did make it a better place but without you now, what do we do? See what I mean? The fact that you're not here anymore is beating me and beating me so hard and I can't fight back....like I said before: even though this world is a mess, you still had the courage to change that and make us happy and I have faith in you for that along with Christ. Thank you, Michael. And once again, I'm so so very sorry. Please forgive me!!!!! :'(