Harry Potter Vs. Twilight Club
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PART FOUR:

Okay. Okay. I am a perfectly calm boy yes. That’s it. I will make myself forget what has just happened. There. All good. I forgot. (OH HERE LET ME HELP: HARRY, YOU JUST SET A SNAKE ON THAT JUSTIN FLICKEY KID AND NOW THE ENTIRE SCHOOL THINKS YOURE THE AIR OF SLYTHERIN!!!! ) Oh yeah. Thank you Emily. (YOURE WELCOME ) anyways because Emily is so eager to talk I should just let her share her point of view on things. Oh and Emily, its spelled h-e-i-r not a-i-r. A-i-r is what your head is full of. ( FINE, AND BTW YOU OWE ME A GALLION FOR THAT SMILEY. ANYWAYS, PEACE IS ACTING FUNNY, SHES ALL "HEY ARENT WE GOING TO HAVE DINNER?" AND IM ALL "WE JUST ATE" IT’S REALLY STRANGE. SNAPES A JERK. I DONT KNOW I JUST FELT LIKE WRITING THAT. ANYWAYS I HAVE A FEELING THAT PEACE IS BEHIND THE ATTACKS, BUT EVEREYTIME I ASK HER, SHE DENIES IT. BUT I KNOW BETTER. SHE GOT A NEW NOTEBOOK.QUIDDICH TOMORROW.) Oh yeah I forgot. Help! Help! The team did something that they are really are really going to regret: they made Emily a beater! I know your thinking "oh good Emily’s on the team" but it isn’t! You see, they trusted Emily with a bat for two hours straight! That is suicide! (YEAH...... and if that bludger goes anywhere near harry, they are going to need a new bludger ANYWAYS BYE!!!!!)
(EMILY! ) and harry








I MISSED DINNER. I MISSED DINNER. I swear. I was right on time. I woke up in the slytherin common room, felt hungry, walked down stairs, and bumped in to Emily. I said "where are you going." "Our common room." "Aren’t you coming to dinner?" "We just ate dinner." said harry. Emily added. "Its over." "ITS OVER" I yelled. And now I am back here feeling sorry for my self. Do you feel sorry for me tom? Do you tom? TOM?!?!?!?!

Yes.
Good. Because I am uber angry. I skipped lunch because I wasn't hungry. Now I am Soooo hungry. You wouldn't like me when I am hungry. GAAAA!!!! I need food.
Sorry.

Why are you sorry? You don’t need to be sorry its not you fault.
I had the impression it was.
Why?
Because you were with me before that.

OH YEAH.
Yep.
Well in that case I am not talking to you.
Dear diary,
me and Draco kissed a lot today. I talked to tom today. I hate tom. Tom is a jerk. HE MADE ME MISS DINNER.

<3
~peace.
<3
I am hungry.
GAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!










(HELP!!!!! HELP!!!!!!! OK, OK, BE COOL EMILY. BE COOL. OKAY NOT COOL! OKAY, SO HERMIONIE WAS HEADING TO THE LIBRARY, AND I WAS JUST TALKING TO HER, AND SHE FORGOT HER MIRRIOR!!! SO OBVIOUSLY, I WENT AFTER HER, AND AS I ROUNDED THE CORNER I BUMPED INTO ROSALIE HALE AND SHE WAS ALL "HEY COOL A MIRRIOR" AND SHE WONT GIVE IT BACK TO ME AND IM FREAKIN OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




OH NO. I KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO DO. AW DANG HERMIONIE IS SO GOING TO OWE ME. WHY OH WHY DO I HAVE TO BE MUGGLE BORN? I MEAN I REGRET IT HERE, I REGRET IT IN THE SEVENTH-OH CRAP HERE COMES THE SNAKE "HEY NO LEGS, OVER HERE!" OH GOD I HOPE I CAN RUN FAST.

EMILY)







Dear tom (STILL IGNORING YOU),
I bumped into Emily and Rosalie in the hallway... Emily looked mad. She was yelling, "GIVE ME BACK MY MIRROR!!!" Rosalie was like, "no way. We evil slytherin brats need to know how good we look. So I continued walking to the ghost’s (sorry I forgot her name) bathroom. Then Emily ran to me and asked. "Where are you going." so I said what I was doing. (I never lie >=]) "I am going to meet tom in the bathroom." then she was all like, "WHATT!!!!" then she choked me. And strangled me. And then Draco came!!!!(Jealous much?) He hit Emily and knocked her out. The he kissed me. Then he took the mirror from Rosalie and stared into it for a long time. Then I ran to the bathroom because nobody was watching. I blacked out again. When I came back Rosalie was frozen and so was granger-girl. Emily was balled up in a corner crying and Draco was in fetal position rocking back and forth in shock. I screamed and ran to Draco. I fell head over heels tumbling towards him. I blacked out again. Is it just me or do bad things happen whenever I go to the bathroom to meet you? Is this all my fault? What is going on?
Peace. You are doing this. Go to Hagrid’s hut today. Kill all of his chickens. Put the blood in a bottle. Bring it back to me. Then we will write on the walls a ransom note. We will rule the wizarding world Peace. Me and You. I Tom Riddle. I lord Voldemort!!! MWAHAHAHA...
Whoa. What? Lord Voldemort? OMG I have always wanted to meet you. I will do what ever you want your highness.
Well then do what I said. And uh. Hurry.
KK BYE!!!!





( Draco's dead. Peace is deader. I will kill them both. NOBODY knocks me out and lives. I was so right. Go me. And the worst part is, I CANT TELL ANYBODY! I am depressed. When peace blacked out, I kicked Draco in the head and he blacked out to. I will make a pact right now that says that a Malfoy ((or anything related )) will never knock me unconscious EVER again. And if they try, I will kill them. Now I g2g get Harry and Ron to come down to the chamber with me. I am taking Edward.

EMILY)




Kill chickens: check
Go to bathroom: walking there
.
.
.
HERE!
Do you have the blood?
Yes. But-
Now walk out of the bathroom
Done and-
Now what I tell you.
What?
I'm thinking!
...
Write 'Her body will rot in the chamber forever.'
Ooo! That’s catchy how did you come up with that? Who is 'Her'?
You will soon find out now write. And come back I will be waiting for you.







Okay, harry here, so first l will fill you in on Aragog. In Hagrid’s hut Emily actually came in with Dumbledore with the excuse of ’I’m his assistant' the minister of magic actually fell for it. (FAIL!!! ) Yes thank you Emily. Anywa- (OOH OOH I WANT TO TELL THIS PART!!!! OKAY, SO WHEN LUCIUS SAYS "I HAVE NO PLEASOURE BEING IN YOUR-YOU CALL THIS A HOUSE?" K, SO YOU KNOW I CAN’T TAKE THAT LYING DOWN, SO I SAID: "YEAH, WELL I DONT HAVE ANY PLEASURE BEING IN YOURS EITHER. NICE DUNGON BY THE WAY." WASNT THAT GREAT???!!! AND THE BEST PART WAS THAT HE HAD NO IDEA WHAT I WAS SAYING!!!! OH I JUST KILL MYSELF!!!! ) Yeah, woot woot. Anyways, turns out that Emily is almost as scared of spiders as Ron is! (AM NOT!) Are too. (AM NOT!!) Are too. (AM NOT!!!) Look spider! (AAH! WHERE?) Ha. (I HATE YOU. ) get in line. (JUST FOR THAT YOURE GOING DOWN IN THE CHAMBER BEFORE ME ) oh yeah, they took peace by the way. (YEAH AND WERE GOING DOWN TO GET HER) yup. And I think we have to go. (BYE)
Harry and (EMILY!!!! )






OH MY GOD TOM IT IS SO COOL DOWN HERE!!! What is the snake's name?
Um it’s a basilisk.
Whatevs. But what’s its name?
It doesn't have one.
Can I name it?
Sure.
Um.
.
.
Rosalie. The snake reminds me of a friend





EW, EW, EW, EW, this is so gross down here. We slid down a tunnel in le bathroom and now we are in a place with human skulls everywhere. Emily doesn't seem to mind though. (I AM SO PSYCHED TO MEET THE SNAKE. WEEEEEEEEE! ) yeah. Weee. Okay, we have just walked into the cavern. And.....peace is standing next to some dude. (HOLY CRAP PEACE IS IN LEAGUE WITH TOM RIDDLE) who's he? (ER-) shh he’s talking. Detailed description starting now brought to you by: harry potter:

Peace: hi guys!
Emily\me: Ummmm..............hi?
Tom: hello harry potter-who are you?
Emily: names Emily. I don’t like you.
Tom: gee that's friendly. Oohhhhhh I know you. You’re that mudblood girl who the snake wont go near aren't you?
Emily: k, guess so.
Peace: oh, this is so exiting! What are we here for anyways?
Emily: hey peace, hate to break it to you, but he is going to set a giant snake in us and kill us all.
Peace: cool can I watch?
Emily: I hate you.
Me (harry): wait- what? Why would he try to kill us?
Emily\peace: he’s lord voldemort!
Me: WHAT? Really?
riddle\peace\Emily: duh.
Emily: so.....now what?
Riddle: I guess I’m supposed to set the snake on you now.
Emily: k, you do that.

Well, we battled the snake, sort of.
Me: EMILY GET THE SWORD!!!!
Emily: noooooooo, swords are heavy and pointy. Can’t I just battle the snake with my dagge- hey wait a minute! You’re supposed to be battling the snake!
Me: I know but you're sooooooo much stronger.
Emily: flattery will get you somewhere
So, Emily battled the snake instead of me, so I was happy, but the snake bit Emily AND me!!!!
Emily: awwwww look what you made me do
Riddle: HA!! Now you will both die, I will regain my true form, and lord voldemort-
Peace: uh tom?
Riddle: shut up I’m gloating
Peace: yeah but I really think you should know that-
Riddle: BE QUIET!! Now as I was saying, lord voldemort will rise again! BWA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!
Emily (quietly): I just got bit by a giant poisonous snake.
Peace: uh-oh
Riddle: what? What’s wrong?
Peace: that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. When she sees something ironic she-er-flips.
Emily: yeah, but you forgot one thing
Riddle: yes, but she only has minutes before the poison takes her
Peace: oh yeah, that’s another thing-
Me: oh no, we're all going to die here from the poison-EMILY ARE YOU EMO????!!!
(Emily looks up from sucking on her arm) Emily: no
Riddle: what are you doing?
Emily: using irony to my advantage
Peace: that looks cool can I try?
Emily: shut up I’m mad at you
Riddle: this doesn’t make any sense; you should be dead by now
(Edward walks in)
Edward: Emily are you making fun of me again?
Emily: no I just got bit by a giant snake. Hey would you do me a favor and run this sword through that diary?
Edward: sure, no problem
Peace: NO I LIKE HIM!!!!
Emily: yeah, so did Victoria but look what happened to her
So Edward ran the sword through riddle and we went upstairs.
Dear Stephenie Meyer,

May I first tell you that your 'Saga' is complete and utter crap. I also would like to highlight the fact that your 'books' are an insult to literature and vampires.
When reading them at first, I thought that they were quite good, and for a while I was a Twilight fan, but your fanbase has gotten huge, along with your head. This is one of the reasons I don't like Twilight. I've read other points on why Twilight and the rest of the 'saga' are bad, and I fully agree with the points raised. The points that I have read about have made me realise how bad Twilight and the rest...
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added by RealSunshine
Source: LJ,tumblr,HP fans and Alessia @ FP
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added by KatiiCullen94
Source: naty_oreiro@livejournal
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Source: summerinmymind@tumblr
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added by youknowit101
added by youknowit101
added by youknowit101
If I were to write “Breaking Dawn” (minus the part of the Volturi getting arrested by the police), here’s how it would go:

1. Bella beats up Jake for imprinting on her daughter

2. Volturi get word about Renesmee’s birth and rush off to Forks, bringing an entire army with them

3. Cullens get allies and several people who just flat-out hate the Volturi.

4. Wolves get in on it

5. Big battle ensues and several allies (like Tanya and Rosalie) die

6. Renesmee runs away and hides and Jacob follows her

7. Alice and Jasper show up with SEVERAL half-breeds

8. Volturi freaks out; one fathered a half breed...
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I am sure lot of you won't agree with me but anyway this is my opinion. This riot going on that HP is better than Twilight is beyond me. These books are riveting and thrilling in their own way.
First Twilight, yes I too realise it has too much of love and unrealistic charecteristics in people. However you have to say it is great piece of imagination. We have to understand that HP plot is far bigger than that of Twilight. It is a plot where the survival of the world depends on one character whereas in Twilight it is just the fate of two star crossed lovers and the obstacles faced by them. HP...
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DEAR ...,
SORRY PEACE IS NOT AVAIBLE NOW TRY AGAIN LATER!!!!
-peace
p.s. peace is having tons of fun at the Malfoy’s

(My entry)
Dear diary,
Today I wrote a poem for Draco:

Deep inside
Really
All I
can think
Of is you

He wrote back:

Peace,
I love you more than you can know
Your soft green eyes,
Your seventh toe,
Your curly brown hair,
And pale cold skin like tile,
But most of all your gentle smile

We spent an hour snogging. At one point his mum walked in on us and screamed at Draco for having his shirt off. Then she yelled at me for snogging him to much. Then she left the room and never came back.
~Peace...
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(Warning: Lots of swearing. Sorry, but it's the only way to get my point across.)

Okay, let's get this over with- THE CULLENS ARE NOT FUCKING VAMPIRES. I don't know what the hell they are, but they are not vampires.

Sunlight: A vampire cannot go into the sunlight, as they will burn. There are a few exceptions though; In Romania, there are special vamps called Moroi, Dhampirs, and Strogoi (e.g. Vampire Academy). Also, vampires could wear special magical jewellry that can let them go out in the sunlight (e.g. Vampire Diaries, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel).

In Twilight, there is none of this....
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posted by MyronPwnsBella
There once was a seventeen year old girl named Sandy. One day in July 2008, she saw her sister, Astrid reading a book with a slightly torn red ribbon on it. Sandy curiously asked Astrid what she was reading. Astrid told it was part of a book series called Twilight and that it was really good. Sandy has a few doubts but decided to go ahead and read it. When she did, she liked the Twilight Series. Sandy wasn't usually interested in teen romance a whole lot of the time and more often liked stuff with a huge amount of action in it, but she really liked it and wanted to read the other two. Sandy...
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Source: Funny Harry Potter memes
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posted by luv_warriorcatz
This was not written by me. It was written by the twilightsucks.com community. I would try to learn from it except that I fail at Health terms:

Copy and Pasted from the Twilightsucks.com community:
Wikipedia says:

Quote: In literature, a plot is all the events in a story particularly rendered towards the achievement of some particular artistic or emotional effect. In other words, it's what mostly happened in the story or novel or what the story's general theme is based on, such as the mood, characters, setting, and conflicts occurring in a story.



The concept of plot and the associated concept...
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Here's a list of reasons that don't count out of the first 500.
Reasons that are purely opinion, untrue, or just ridiculous.
I didn't include all the reasons I think are wrong, to be nice

12. Twilight WILL fad out it is a fad and many fans are on it because of the Bandwagon effect and because Robert Patterson is good looking But Harry Potter will be around forever
17. Harry Potter can be read by any age group. Twilight is geared more towards angst 15 year olds.
18. The characters in Harry Potter GROW, they grow with you as you read. The first books start out fairly tame but mature as you mature....
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