Harry Potter Vs. Twilight Club
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PART FOUR:

Okay. Okay. I am a perfectly calm boy yes. That’s it. I will make myself forget what has just happened. There. All good. I forgot. (OH HERE LET ME HELP: HARRY, YOU JUST SET A SNAKE ON THAT JUSTIN FLICKEY KID AND NOW THE ENTIRE SCHOOL THINKS YOURE THE AIR OF SLYTHERIN!!!! ) Oh yeah. Thank you Emily. (YOURE WELCOME ) anyways because Emily is so eager to talk I should just let her share her point of view on things. Oh and Emily, its spelled h-e-i-r not a-i-r. A-i-r is what your head is full of. ( FINE, AND BTW YOU OWE ME A GALLION FOR THAT SMILEY. ANYWAYS, PEACE IS ACTING FUNNY, SHES ALL "HEY ARENT WE GOING TO HAVE DINNER?" AND IM ALL "WE JUST ATE" IT’S REALLY STRANGE. SNAPES A JERK. I DONT KNOW I JUST FELT LIKE WRITING THAT. ANYWAYS I HAVE A FEELING THAT PEACE IS BEHIND THE ATTACKS, BUT EVEREYTIME I ASK HER, SHE DENIES IT. BUT I KNOW BETTER. SHE GOT A NEW NOTEBOOK.QUIDDICH TOMORROW.) Oh yeah I forgot. Help! Help! The team did something that they are really are really going to regret: they made Emily a beater! I know your thinking "oh good Emily’s on the team" but it isn’t! You see, they trusted Emily with a bat for two hours straight! That is suicide! (YEAH...... and if that bludger goes anywhere near harry, they are going to need a new bludger ANYWAYS BYE!!!!!)
(EMILY! ) and harry








I MISSED DINNER. I MISSED DINNER. I swear. I was right on time. I woke up in the slytherin common room, felt hungry, walked down stairs, and bumped in to Emily. I said "where are you going." "Our common room." "Aren’t you coming to dinner?" "We just ate dinner." said harry. Emily added. "Its over." "ITS OVER" I yelled. And now I am back here feeling sorry for my self. Do you feel sorry for me tom? Do you tom? TOM?!?!?!?!

Yes.
Good. Because I am uber angry. I skipped lunch because I wasn't hungry. Now I am Soooo hungry. You wouldn't like me when I am hungry. GAAAA!!!! I need food.
Sorry.

Why are you sorry? You don’t need to be sorry its not you fault.
I had the impression it was.
Why?
Because you were with me before that.

OH YEAH.
Yep.
Well in that case I am not talking to you.
Dear diary,
me and Draco kissed a lot today. I talked to tom today. I hate tom. Tom is a jerk. HE MADE ME MISS DINNER.

<3
~peace.
<3
I am hungry.
GAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!










(HELP!!!!! HELP!!!!!!! OK, OK, BE COOL EMILY. BE COOL. OKAY NOT COOL! OKAY, SO HERMIONIE WAS HEADING TO THE LIBRARY, AND I WAS JUST TALKING TO HER, AND SHE FORGOT HER MIRRIOR!!! SO OBVIOUSLY, I WENT AFTER HER, AND AS I ROUNDED THE CORNER I BUMPED INTO ROSALIE HALE AND SHE WAS ALL "HEY COOL A MIRRIOR" AND SHE WONT GIVE IT BACK TO ME AND IM FREAKIN OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




OH NO. I KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO DO. AW DANG HERMIONIE IS SO GOING TO OWE ME. WHY OH WHY DO I HAVE TO BE MUGGLE BORN? I MEAN I REGRET IT HERE, I REGRET IT IN THE SEVENTH-OH CRAP HERE COMES THE SNAKE "HEY NO LEGS, OVER HERE!" OH GOD I HOPE I CAN RUN FAST.

EMILY)







Dear tom (STILL IGNORING YOU),
I bumped into Emily and Rosalie in the hallway... Emily looked mad. She was yelling, "GIVE ME BACK MY MIRROR!!!" Rosalie was like, "no way. We evil slytherin brats need to know how good we look. So I continued walking to the ghost’s (sorry I forgot her name) bathroom. Then Emily ran to me and asked. "Where are you going." so I said what I was doing. (I never lie >=]) "I am going to meet tom in the bathroom." then she was all like, "WHATT!!!!" then she choked me. And strangled me. And then Draco came!!!!(Jealous much?) He hit Emily and knocked her out. The he kissed me. Then he took the mirror from Rosalie and stared into it for a long time. Then I ran to the bathroom because nobody was watching. I blacked out again. When I came back Rosalie was frozen and so was granger-girl. Emily was balled up in a corner crying and Draco was in fetal position rocking back and forth in shock. I screamed and ran to Draco. I fell head over heels tumbling towards him. I blacked out again. Is it just me or do bad things happen whenever I go to the bathroom to meet you? Is this all my fault? What is going on?
Peace. You are doing this. Go to Hagrid’s hut today. Kill all of his chickens. Put the blood in a bottle. Bring it back to me. Then we will write on the walls a ransom note. We will rule the wizarding world Peace. Me and You. I Tom Riddle. I lord Voldemort!!! MWAHAHAHA...
Whoa. What? Lord Voldemort? OMG I have always wanted to meet you. I will do what ever you want your highness.
Well then do what I said. And uh. Hurry.
KK BYE!!!!





( Draco's dead. Peace is deader. I will kill them both. NOBODY knocks me out and lives. I was so right. Go me. And the worst part is, I CANT TELL ANYBODY! I am depressed. When peace blacked out, I kicked Draco in the head and he blacked out to. I will make a pact right now that says that a Malfoy ((or anything related )) will never knock me unconscious EVER again. And if they try, I will kill them. Now I g2g get Harry and Ron to come down to the chamber with me. I am taking Edward.

EMILY)




Kill chickens: check
Go to bathroom: walking there
.
.
.
HERE!
Do you have the blood?
Yes. But-
Now walk out of the bathroom
Done and-
Now what I tell you.
What?
I'm thinking!
...
Write 'Her body will rot in the chamber forever.'
Ooo! That’s catchy how did you come up with that? Who is 'Her'?
You will soon find out now write. And come back I will be waiting for you.







Okay, harry here, so first l will fill you in on Aragog. In Hagrid’s hut Emily actually came in with Dumbledore with the excuse of ’I’m his assistant' the minister of magic actually fell for it. (FAIL!!! ) Yes thank you Emily. Anywa- (OOH OOH I WANT TO TELL THIS PART!!!! OKAY, SO WHEN LUCIUS SAYS "I HAVE NO PLEASOURE BEING IN YOUR-YOU CALL THIS A HOUSE?" K, SO YOU KNOW I CAN’T TAKE THAT LYING DOWN, SO I SAID: "YEAH, WELL I DONT HAVE ANY PLEASURE BEING IN YOURS EITHER. NICE DUNGON BY THE WAY." WASNT THAT GREAT???!!! AND THE BEST PART WAS THAT HE HAD NO IDEA WHAT I WAS SAYING!!!! OH I JUST KILL MYSELF!!!! ) Yeah, woot woot. Anyways, turns out that Emily is almost as scared of spiders as Ron is! (AM NOT!) Are too. (AM NOT!!) Are too. (AM NOT!!!) Look spider! (AAH! WHERE?) Ha. (I HATE YOU. ) get in line. (JUST FOR THAT YOURE GOING DOWN IN THE CHAMBER BEFORE ME ) oh yeah, they took peace by the way. (YEAH AND WERE GOING DOWN TO GET HER) yup. And I think we have to go. (BYE)
Harry and (EMILY!!!! )






OH MY GOD TOM IT IS SO COOL DOWN HERE!!! What is the snake's name?
Um it’s a basilisk.
Whatevs. But what’s its name?
It doesn't have one.
Can I name it?
Sure.
Um.
.
.
Rosalie. The snake reminds me of a friend





EW, EW, EW, EW, this is so gross down here. We slid down a tunnel in le bathroom and now we are in a place with human skulls everywhere. Emily doesn't seem to mind though. (I AM SO PSYCHED TO MEET THE SNAKE. WEEEEEEEEE! ) yeah. Weee. Okay, we have just walked into the cavern. And.....peace is standing next to some dude. (HOLY CRAP PEACE IS IN LEAGUE WITH TOM RIDDLE) who's he? (ER-) shh he’s talking. Detailed description starting now brought to you by: harry potter:

Peace: hi guys!
Emily\me: Ummmm..............hi?
Tom: hello harry potter-who are you?
Emily: names Emily. I don’t like you.
Tom: gee that's friendly. Oohhhhhh I know you. You’re that mudblood girl who the snake wont go near aren't you?
Emily: k, guess so.
Peace: oh, this is so exiting! What are we here for anyways?
Emily: hey peace, hate to break it to you, but he is going to set a giant snake in us and kill us all.
Peace: cool can I watch?
Emily: I hate you.
Me (harry): wait- what? Why would he try to kill us?
Emily\peace: he’s lord voldemort!
Me: WHAT? Really?
riddle\peace\Emily: duh.
Emily: so.....now what?
Riddle: I guess I’m supposed to set the snake on you now.
Emily: k, you do that.

Well, we battled the snake, sort of.
Me: EMILY GET THE SWORD!!!!
Emily: noooooooo, swords are heavy and pointy. Can’t I just battle the snake with my dagge- hey wait a minute! You’re supposed to be battling the snake!
Me: I know but you're sooooooo much stronger.
Emily: flattery will get you somewhere
So, Emily battled the snake instead of me, so I was happy, but the snake bit Emily AND me!!!!
Emily: awwwww look what you made me do
Riddle: HA!! Now you will both die, I will regain my true form, and lord voldemort-
Peace: uh tom?
Riddle: shut up I’m gloating
Peace: yeah but I really think you should know that-
Riddle: BE QUIET!! Now as I was saying, lord voldemort will rise again! BWA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!
Emily (quietly): I just got bit by a giant poisonous snake.
Peace: uh-oh
Riddle: what? What’s wrong?
Peace: that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. When she sees something ironic she-er-flips.
Emily: yeah, but you forgot one thing
Riddle: yes, but she only has minutes before the poison takes her
Peace: oh yeah, that’s another thing-
Me: oh no, we're all going to die here from the poison-EMILY ARE YOU EMO????!!!
(Emily looks up from sucking on her arm) Emily: no
Riddle: what are you doing?
Emily: using irony to my advantage
Peace: that looks cool can I try?
Emily: shut up I’m mad at you
Riddle: this doesn’t make any sense; you should be dead by now
(Edward walks in)
Edward: Emily are you making fun of me again?
Emily: no I just got bit by a giant snake. Hey would you do me a favor and run this sword through that diary?
Edward: sure, no problem
Peace: NO I LIKE HIM!!!!
Emily: yeah, so did Victoria but look what happened to her
So Edward ran the sword through riddle and we went upstairs.
posted by RavenclawRocks
First of all, this is MY opinion. If you don't agree, that's fine. If you do, well great! So here I go.

Bella is a shallow bitch. Why? Well, Edward looks at Bella and thinks "she smells nice" Bella looks at Edward and thinks "OMG He's so hot!" So they're in love. Sorry, I mean they are in lust. It's not love! It's just they enjoy being in love. Bella would date Santa Clause if he was hot!
And then there's the fact when Edward leaves Bella, she goes straight for Jacob who is the second hottest guy in town after moping for four fricken months! I mean moping for 4 weeks is ok. But 4 months...
And...
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Credit for the first 11 goes to mugglenet.com

11 Ways to Use Harry Potter to Annoy a Twilight Fan
Guaranteed to start a shouting match of fantastic proportions...


1. Steal their copy of Twilight and replace it with one of your Harry Potter books in a Twilight dust jacket.

2. Tell them that Edward is a "hand-me-down" because the Twilight movies got him after the Harry Potter movies were finished with him.

3. List other "hand-me-downs" from the books, like the last names of Black and Clearwater...

4. State that you think Edward would be hotter if he had a lightning scar on his forehead.

5. "Accidentally"...
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posted by teamsalvatore98
Hello, everyone. It's me, teamsalvatore. (Salvy)

So this club is Potter vs. Twilight, Rowling vs. Meyer, Wizards vs. Vampires. I, personally, my opinion, think that Twilight is better than Harry Potter. BUT I think that there are some redundant things in Twilight. And remember, these are ust my opinions:

-Bella's weakness; She's helpless, and turning girls everywhere into weak, spineless idiots. She's making girls everywhere think they need a guy like Edward to protect them.
-Edward's obvious self-hate; He's a non-cutting emo, for crying out loud! A wannabe! We get it, Eddy, you don't like yourself....
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Okay. I know what you are all thinking. Oh no not another Harry Potter vs. Twilight article but yes I am making one because I can. I just want my opinion to be heard. So first off let me list the reasons why children, teens and adults can love Harry Potter and the good messages that Harry Potter gets across. Harry Potter first of all teaches people about the very special bond between people called friendship. Harry, Hermione and Ron are a perfect example of friendship. They are all with Harry until the very end like they promised. They risk their lives for each other and even though they fight,...
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posted by TeamSiriusBlack
    Ok, well I’m getting pretty tired of people saying that Bella and Edward’s relationship is love. It’s not. It’s just lust. Let’s look at the clues:
-She sees him and thinks he’s gorgeous.
-He likes her smell.
-He’s a vampire.
    Now, before I start writing about these points, I would like to compare the relationship to that of Snape and Lily. Yes, they have never gone out but they didn’t need to. Snape met Lily when they were little. He probably thought she was pretty and developed a crush on her which bloomed into love. When Snape found...
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posted by Sophia21
Realised the points have little to do with plot, thus changed the title to errors.

My apologise to Twilight fans if I'm a little too harsh, but I have reread the books like twice this month and it was a little exasperating. Not to worry, I'm currently rereading Harry Potter, so a plothole list on it will be added soon =)

Ok, let's get started:

1.A hundred years of...nothingness?
Explanation: I don't expect science fiction books to be scientifically accurate. But if you plan your main character to live 100 years studying in prep forever at the age of 17, make the whole book plausible. No, just saying...
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added by Gred_and_Forge
Source: Tumblr
added by TeamSiriusBlack
added by nati30
Source: Once again, another pic I found in the C.A.T. spot
I made a list of combined and possible plot holes about Harry Potter. Some of them I came up with myself, and some of them I got from different places online. If you can give explanation answering the questions ,do it please.
I purposely put in a few really really picky question because there are a lot of articles about Twilight like this, so I want to see how Harry Potter fans respond to the ridiculously picks questions. I'm not going to tell you which ones they are, but they should be easy to pick out.





1.    Why do the founders of Hogwarts have surnames? Family names weren’t...
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posted by BedIntruder
95 Reasons Why Twilight Sucks
Opinion by BedIntruder posted 4 hours ago


1. Bella is a perfect character (“Mary Sue”), which Meyer hides by calling her clumsy.
2. Being clumsy is not a flaw if Edward always catches her.
3. She can’t do anything without Edward.
4. And when he leaves she attempts to commit suicide.
5. Meyer is living out her own fantasies by writing about Bella, who is clearly herself.
6. The books aren’t well written, just because every other word is a fancy adjective doesn’t make it good writing.
7. All the rules Meyer sets for being a vampire are broken by the end of the...
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added by youknowit101
Source: trollposts@tumblr
added by kenzichu
link


116. "BTW Twilight is the bestest film ever" I get really frusterated when soomebody compares the films instead off the movies. And whats worse is that you arent giving any reasons. "Stop hating, pick-up Twilight, actually read it and you will love it and stop hating Twilight". Has it ever occurred to you that twilight haters have read the whole series? Like me? "HP is all around boring and it is made for younger children". I dont understand how Harry Potter can be so boring. Maybe you didnt keep up with the amount of action and romance and magic and the mystery. Or maybe you didnt read...
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posted by lucius_malloy
So, once there was this girl - well, actually that girl still is - but anyway, this girl who we'll call Emma, for the purposes of now. (Well, actually, we'll call her that because it's her name. But you get the point.)

Around two, two and a half years ago, when Emma was in sixth grade, one of her friends - let's call her K, if she must have a name - was reading a book that looked rather interesting. It was black, with a shiny hard cover, and had an apple on the front. It was called Houkutus, which translates to Temptation. Emma liked the name and thought it might prove an interesting read, but...
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posted by GemonkDruid
Too true!
Too true!
I discovered these song spoofs in my writing folder from my "Uber-Anti" stage, and I decided to share it with you guys, for the sake of nostalgia and whatnot.

Dumb Isabella (spoof on Umbrella by Rihanna)-

You wanna be, a sparkly Meyer-pire like me
Maybe in your dreams, but never in reality
Until you agree, to take my hand and marry me
And that's when you’ll want me there
to turn you into a vampire
Because

[Chorus]
You’re a stupid Sue who wants us together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be your bitch
Took an oath I regret, you crazy witch
Now it's raining more than ever
But we’re...
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posted by LoveforSeverus
Well I've been writing a little fanfic recently and I realized that when I write fanfic, I mostly let my character's handle the plot. Whatever happens to pop in my head at the time, and doesn't go completely against the overall story line, gets put in the fanfic.
But Smeyer says that she wrote Twilight by just "letting her characters handle the plot". There by making it seem a lot like how, not only I, but other people, write fan fiction.
I decided to look up some reasons of what makes a good fan fiction:
"1. Choose the anime/manga/book/video game/movie you want your fan-fic to be about." Vampire's...
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posted by LilRavenclaw95
Okay, my friend and I go to a school that has a thing called 'Lit Circles'. There's a list of books, and Twilight is on there, but not Harry Potter. My friend thought this was totally wrong, and wrote a super long persuasive essay to our English teacher about it. This was all hers, and I can't take credit for how awesome it is :)

Why Twilight Should Be Replaced by Harry Potter in Lit Circles

    Two books sit on the shelf in front of you; on the cover of the first, you see two pale hands holding a deep red apple. The second features a young boy on a broomstick, in midair as...
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posted by ryomaidol
My cousin says we, Harry Potter fans are insecure about this ranting. How should I respond to this?!


(I HAVE TAKEN THINGS FROM OTHER ARTICLES HERE, sorry if used without permission)


HERE IS THE ACTUAL CONVERSATION:

Kjerrimyr リョーマ Andres: says Twilight ang pasimuno ng mga JEJEMON (ANGRY) (Twilight started the Jejemon movement)
46 minutes ago via Plurk · Comment · Like · View comments on Plurk

** ******: weh? PROVE IT!!!
41 minutes ago ·

Kjerrimyr リョーマ Andres: link wahahahah
33 minutes ago ·

** ******: duh! nonsense!
23 minutes ago ·

Kjerrimyr リョーマ Andres: haha Twilighters...
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I did not write this.
1. If a boy is aloof, stand-offish, ignores you or is just plain rude, it is because he is secretly in love with you — and you are the point of his existence.
2.Secrets are good — especially life-threatening ones.
3. It’s OK for a potential romantic interest to be dimwitted, violent and vengeful — as long as he has great abs.
4. If a boy tells you to stay away from him because he is dangerous and may even kill you, he must be the love of your life. You should stay with him since he will keep you safe forever.
5. If a boy leaves you, especially suddenly (while telling...
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