MADAME MIM
Now what do you think, boy? Who's the greatest?
ARTHUR
Well, Merlin's magic is always... uh, well... useful, for something good.
MADAME MIM
And he must see something good in you.
ARTHUR
Oh, I suppose so.
MADAME MIM
Yes, and in my book that's bad!
MADAME MIM
So, my boy, I'm afraid I'll have to destroy you.
ARTHUR
D-destroy me?
MADAME MIM
Yes, I'll give you a sporting chance. I'm mad about games, you know.
MADAME MIM
Well, come on, boy, get going. You have to stay on your toes in this game.
enhance! (0) lol (0) win (0) :-( (0) wtf (0) cute 1 MERLIN
Now, Mim! No dragons, remember?
MADAME MIM
Did I say no purple dragons? Did I?!
enhance! (0) lol (0) win (0) :-( (0) wtf (0) cute 0 MADAME MIM
Sounds like someone's sick. How lovely. I do hope it's serious. Something dreadful.
enhance! (0) lol (0) win (0) :-( (0) wtf (0) cute 0 MERLIN
Madam, I have not disappeared. I am very tiny. I am a germ. A rare disease. I am called malignalitaloptereosis... and you've caught me, Mim!
MADAME MIM
What!
enhance! (0) lol (0) win (0) :-( (0) wtf (0) cute 0 MERLIN
Oh it's not too serious madam, you should recover in a few weeks and be as good, uh... he-he, I mean, as *bad* as ever. But I would suggest plenty of rest, and lots and lots of sunshine.
MADAME MIM
I hate sunshine! I hate horrible, wholesome sunshine! I hate it! I hate it! I hate, hate, hate...!
enhance! (0) lol (0) win (0) :-( (0) wtf (0) cute 0 MADAME MIM
Say, lad, did you know that I can make myself uglier yet?
ARTHUR
That would be some trick - I mean...
MADAME MIM
Wanna bet?
MADAME MIM
Boo!
ARTHUR
Oh!
MADAME MIM
You see? I win, I win! Aren't I hideous, boy? Perfectly revolting?
enhance! (0) lol (0) win (0) :-( (0) wtf (0) cute 0 ARTHUR
Oh, I'm not really a sparrow, I'm a boy.
MADAME MIM
A boy?!
ARTHUR
Merlin changed me with his magic, he's the world's most powerful wizard.
MADAME MIM
Merlin? [laughs] Oh, Merlin - the world's most powerful bungler. Why, boy, I've got more magic in one little finger! Now don't tell me you've never heard of the marvelous Madame Mim?
ARTHUR
Well, no, I don't guess so.
ARCHIMEDES
Madame Mim! [flys off] Good heavens, good heavens, good heavens.
MADAME MIM
Why, boy, I'm the greatest! I'm truly marvellous! [sings] With only a touch, I have the power, zim-zam-rim-vim, to whither a flower. I find delight in the gruesome and grim--
ARTHUR
Oh, that's terrible.
MADAME MIM
Thank you, my boy. But that's nothing, nothing to me. Because I'm the magnificent, marvellous, mad Madame Mim!
enhance! (0) lol (0) win (0) :-( (0) wtf (0) cute 0 ARCHIMEDES
What's going on, boy?
ARTHUR
They're having a wizard's duel. What's that mean?
ARCHIEMDES
Oh, it's a battle of wits. The players change themselves into different things in an attempt to destroy one another.
ARTHUR
D-d-destroy?
ARCHIMEDES
Just watch, boy. You'll get the idea.
MADAME MIM
Now, if you don't mind, I'll make the rules.
ARCHIMEDES
Rules indeed! Why, she only wants rules so she can break them!
MADAME MIM
[to Archimedes] I'll take care of you later, feather-brain. [to Merlin] Rule 1: No mineral or vegetable, only animals. Rule 2: No make-believe things like, oh, pink dragons and stuff. Rule 3: No disappearing.
MERLIN
Rule 4: No cheating.
enhance! (0) lol (0) win (0) :-( (0) wtf (0) cute -1 MADAME MIM
Now, first of all, if you don't mind, I'll make the rules.
ARCHIMEDES THE OWL
Rules indeed! Why, she only wants rules so she can break 'em.
MADAME MIM
I'll take care of you later, feather-brain.
MADAME MIM
Rule One: No mineral or vegetable, only animals. Rule Two: No make-believe things like, ooh, pink dragons and stuff. Now, Rule Three: No disappearing.
MERLIN
Rule Four: No cheating.