Critical Analysis of Twilight Club
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posted by HecateA
Somewhere in the world right now there is a girl.

She is sitting on her bed crying because her boyfriend told her she couldn't see her good friend. He erased her e-mail from her contacts, he keeps them apart in school hallways and classes and he took her drivers liscence so she can't drive to her house. Her boyfriend is always with her. They are barely seen apart if they can be together, often alone. He decides where she goes and the only compliments he ever tells her is "your beautiful", "you're a clutz".

To write Twilight, to pass that (above) off as love is unfair to that one girl who is sitting on her bed, crying.
There are tons of anti stories out there, and mine is probably no different than yours. (If you, are, of course, an Anti.) However, it all started out the very day I picked up the book Twilight...

I heard many comments about Twilight, how wonderful the series was, and how wonderful Edward and Bella's love was. As usual, I resisted. But my friends, who were all Twilight fans, kept insisting that I read the most amazing book in the history of books. So I'm like, "Hey! I missed out on Harry Potter-(I only read Harry Potter when I was nine, when I could have read it when I was seven, all because...
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The following is a letter from Edward to our CAT members who dislike him. Or a joke quickly written by me because it's been ages since I posted here. Either way, it's not meant to offend pros or antis.

Dear antis,
So, I hear you hate me. Ouch. Being the emo....uh, I mean the sensitive flower...no, wait, the in-touch-with-his-emotions-in-a-not-girly-way, hey-shut-up! guy I am, my initial reaction was to kill myself. That's right, in one of my trademark, straight forward suicide plans I was going to cover myself in honey, mail a note to the volturi threatening to poke them in the eye if they didn't...
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posted by Mephadowfangirl
Well, I'm a Twilight fan, but I like to be critical of the series anyways. But recently, I discovered that a lot of the Twi-hater fanbase (or hatebase?) has been consisted of mostly people who have only seen the movies, and I instantly saw how there were so many Twi-haters.

Let me just start off by saying that the movie sucks a**, and I'm being NICE! The acting is terrible, they cut out about half the book and completely interpreted the book in all the wrong ways, the script sounded like it had been written by a five year old, and the actors portrayed the characters so poorly, I almost became...
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If you have ever doubted the insanity of the C.A.T. Kittens, this will cease your doubts. I think it got long enough to be put into article forum thread. This makes absolutely no sense, does have swearwords, includes lots exremely odd things, and is kind of innapropriate. You've been warned.

~~~~

One day Bella fell over while being chased by Steve the Spider, while Edward and Jacob were kissing. Pausing every once in a while to get a dazzling breath when Alice walked in on them and said - "Edward, what are you doing? You know Bella is over there. Wait...you're GAY?"

"Yes, but don't tell Bella...
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posted by kayleebabee
Is it just me or is SM into brainwashing? She has systamatically taken over the world with her books. Next she will be Americas first ever hem hem SPARKLY PRESIDENT (no offence Barrack you rock) and twi hardiness has been taken to a whole knew level people religions such as CULLENISM yes you guys heard me cul-llen-ism.
Here is the cullenism 10 'commandments'

1.thou shalt wear gold contact lenses-even to sleep!
2. thou shalt only drink cherryade or cranberry juice (bassically its gotta be red)
3. thou shalt not take the lords name in vain (robert pattinson) cept when you are screaming it at his...
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I posted this a couple other spots, but I would really like to know anti-twilight/neutral fans opinions. I sort of ranted on the subject, but I think my intent is pretty clear. I'd love to read comments if you have any, or you can just skip this article :)

This is sort of an informal rant/observation.

We all know that New Moon is about tragedy and the loss of love and the aftermath. Edward left Bella. But why did he leave her?

Since New Moon is being adapted into a feature length film, I've been seeing alot of questions and accusations reguarding Edward's absense.

Examples:
- Jacob's better...
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Hey ya kittens! I was wondering in how many words could I write Twilight giving the same character development as Meyer and saying obviously the main plot so don’t bash…I had a lot of fun doing it XDD It’s not to offend anyone but think about it trees could have been saved if Meyer had stuck with this version.

So on with reading


Hi! My name is Bella Swan, I’m moving to Forks because I want to leave my mom with his new boyfriend live happily ever after although I hate where my father leaves. Forks it’s a rainy state and so I’m in an airplane to go to it.

When I arrive there’s my...
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posted by Dearheart
Hello, kittens and newcomers to the CAT! Don’t worry, none of you are in trouble or anything; I just feel that things have gotten a teensy bit out of hand, so I’m writing this as a reminder to all of you before it gets worse.

Newcomers, if you haven’t already, link It’s very important that people follow them so that we can keep this spot from turning ugly.

For those of you who’ve already read them, let’s review Rule 5:

Make sure the material you submit stays true to the spirit of this spot. Whether it’s a soapbox, image, video, etc...please make sure it doesn’t have excessive language,...
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1) Bring a good sense of humor. Don’t ever take things personally, and try not to be too sensitive. Otherwise you’ll be miserable. Just let loose, have fun, and be willing to laugh.

2) If someone offends you, don’t blow up. Respond in a polite, mature way, point out what offended you and why you find it offensive. If it’s something serious or happens to be one of the things forbidden in Rule 5, chances are people will back you up and the problem will work out. If it isn’t, reread Rule 1.

3) Twi-hards, this isn’t a place to drool over Edward or gush about how amazing the Twilight...
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posted by renrae
Lauren, Lauren, Lauren, Lauren. She's the blond girl in twilight. The one tricked by a modeling scam, the one that hates Bella. We first meet Lauren in the cafeteria, I believe. Almost all Twilight fans do not like her. I mean no disrespect to the ones on this spot or any others, but I do not think she has a reason to be hated. Reasons people give for hating Lauren are similar to the reasons for hating Jessica. "She's rude", "She's mean to bella and stupid", even "she's blond." That last one made no sense to me. The reason Lauren "hates" Bella is because her crush, Tyler, is infatuated with...
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posted by AliceHaleCullen
I'm so glad to have found a spot that isn't full of people gushing over how hot Robert Pattinson is. Since the movie came out, the original idea of the series has deteriorated.

I used to feel proud to call myself a 'Twilight' fan. I first read it in 2005, and to be quite honest I loved how nobody had read it, it seemed really special. So called 'Fans' who now go around using the word 'Twilighter' just because they have seen the film have ruined it for everyone else.

Fair enough, it's nobodies fault it has been made into an overated hyped movie, but if they really understood what it meant before...
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Despite whatever impressions you may have garnered from the title of this article, this is not about glorifying Twilight over His Dark Materials. It's about scolding the movie industry for giving New moon the green light while simultaneously giving The Subtle Knife the red light.

I know that Hollywood is a business, just as book selling is a buisness, above all else. The only time films are made for the sake of making films anymore is if they're independent. I admit that the occasional brilliantly artistic film makes it into the mainstream, and when it does, it's often recognized and lauded....
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I've talked about some of the things that crossed my mind when reading Twilight in the past. Thoughts such as "when is Bella going to freak out about the Edward watching her sleep thing?" "Did that say sparkling? I've re-read that passage like, four times and it still seems to say sparkling" "Does Stephanie Meyer think deer is a vegetable? no, really does she? Does she think you can call yourself a vegetarian if you don't eat things like people or those monkeys who know sign language?"
But those are valid thoughts that many people reading the books also thought (well, maybe not specifically...
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There are 5 things you need to know-

This article is basically:
1. My story on how I got sucked into the Twilight Universe.
2. My life story on how Twilight has changed me. A lot.
3. A rant on why I like and hate about the series.
4. A confession on why I can't seem to get over with hating and loving it.
5. An opinion about how my life could have been without Twilight.

WARNING: Overall, this article is about... why I think Twilight isn't that 'bad' after all. It's going to be lengthy. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This had me wondering for a while and to...
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posted by nessienjake
Created:~Alice~


Q: What to Edward and a Christmas tree have in common?
A: Their balls are for decoration.



Bella: You're pale white and ice cold...I know what you are.
Edward: Say it. Say it!
Bella: Vanilla Ice Cream!



Edward: Bella...
Bella: Yes?
Edward: I just want to know how much you mean to me.
Bella: Aaw...
Edward: You know, what with me being an ancient VIRGIN vampire and everything...
Bella: Yeah?
Edward: Well, people were starting to think I was, y'know-
Bella: Gay?
Edward: ...
Edward: Old fashioned.
Bella: ...
Bella: Oh.



Q: How do you kill a brain?
A: Put it in the same room with Ms Meyer and her books and wait for two minutes.




Q: What did bella say when the shops ran low off the glitter?
A: yeeew!!! Edward you suck!!!!
Whether you hate Twilight so much it fills you with a burning rage so powerful it's full extent can only be expressed through the medium of interpretive dance, or love it so much you plan to sail out to international waters to avoid those pesky laws that prevent you from marrying a book, or perhaps even exist in the non crazy middleground between the two, overexposure can be a pain. Especially when it gets to the level where suddenly everything becomes linked to Twilight. You hear the name 'Edward', you think 'Cullen', the word 'sparkles' you think 'vampire', the words 'howler monkey' you think...
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Yes, it's true, everyone! Twilight has changed our world in several ways!!

No longer are streets near movie theaters and bookstores safe! I haven't seen even one free from screaming fangirls (and yes, screaming fanboys) when the new movies come out and even after it's all been done for about a month or so. Yeah, there are still girls running around in "I <3 guys that sparkle" t-shirts carring on about how great the twilight movie was at the movie theater in my town.

The world now has fewer trees than ever before, just because there where over millions of pieces of paper used for the twilight...
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posted by kayleebabee
this is a study i have conducted to ask what is the big deal weith twilight and edward cullen I asked my littlesister tasha what she thought of the global phenomenon that has all the worlds women gripped in an edward cullen orgasm.

Me: why do you think Edward Cullen is *shudders violently* hot?
Tasha: (I have made her answers sound like she has n intellectual brain cell through hours of trranslating twilight gibberish) I think it is mostly because he is unnatainable and perfect.
(what she actually said was: squeeeeeeee edward cullen i want him but cant have him because that bitch bella is his...
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posted by monLOVEbrucas
Bella Sawn.... Hmmm.


If my bestfreind has loved me, kissed me, tried to ruin my relationship with my boyfriend, i wouldn't be all cool with him loving my child.... including because she's young and his old.
Bella didn't react properly.
I wanted her to get really mad, i wanted Jacob to be banned from seeing Nessie, not have 10 minutes go by, and his aloud to hold her again.

They say you dont choose love, love choose's you.
I believe in that but Reneseme, didn't get a choice? Somehow this imprinting thing assumes the person the wolfs are going to fall inlove with are going to love them back?

In twilight saga this is the thing i do not understand or get no matter how much i try...
and I just felt the need to let that out LOL even though i have so much more i would like to let out.
Ever since its recent creation I have not been able to stop visiting this spot (Not that it's a problem...haha). I decided to sit down and ponder and from my pondering came this list.

1. Everybody rates EVERYTHING.
I mean EVERYTHING. Nothing goes unrated and everyone always rates fairly.

2. The Forums are always buzzing.
I absolutely love visiting the forums. Someone is always there looking to chat and the comments are sure to put a smile on my face.

3. I can have intelligent and enjoyable conversations
I don't feel like I talk to someone and all they have to say is, "OMG you love (insert...
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