I sat on a black, leather couch, starring at the deep blue walls. I was in Alexander’s office, for my appointment. I’d come here straight from the cathedral. My hair was tangled, and messy. I still wore plaid pajama bottoms, and an old, gray tee shirt.
I came to a realization last night. Today, I would make my move. I have done enough to hold my own. Now I could be happy…Maybe.
I debated whether, or not I should tell Alexander about Lucy. Dr. Anozi would’ve liked the idea, but I’m not sure about Dr. Laveney.
I also wondered if I should tell him about my outbreak from the other night. Should I tell Alexander about the voices? I would decide when he asked.
After a moment, a sharp knock startled me. I looked up at the wooden door as it opened. Dr. Laveney stood in the doorway, peering at me with his coco brown eyes. A smile played on his thin lips.
“Damien Demidov, I was wondering when I’d see you again,” Alexander said.
“You knew when I’d be in,” I said, returning the smile.
“I was hoping I’d see you sooner,” he sat down on a light brown chair across from the couch.
“I’m always busy,” I said, remembering how the week had been.
“Yes, I can tell, new jobs keep you busy,” I knew that all too well.
“Yes, I know. I just received my license,” I said, then immediately felt stupid. Alexander knew I had my license I’d called his phone for that patient I lost.
“I know you left a message on my phone. I believe you asked me to call in a prescription for a dead patient,” Alexander said with a peculiar look on his face. I couldn’t quite categorize the emotion.
“Oh, yes, I forgot,” I lied, making myself not seem like a total dumb ass. “Keep in mind, though. I called you before he committed suicide.”
“Rule number one when working with psychotic patients at a hospital: never, EVER leave the room. They will end up like Jared,” said Alexander.
“Hopefully, I won’t have to work in the hospital anymore. Maybe I can keep to the asylum,” I said.
“How is the institution doing? I haven’t been up there since the day Dr. Anozi left,” Alexander moved his head to the side.
“Good, I’m up there now. I have Dr. Anozi’s old office,” I said.
“Really? I was wondering who would get it.”
“So, why haven’t you been to the institution?” I asked.
“I’ve been on vacation for the last week. Before that most of my cases have been at the hospital,” he answered.
“Oh, are you still working at the asylum?”
“Yes, but not as often as the hospital,” Alexander looked out the tall, glass window as a bird went by.
“Do you have an office up there?” I asked, making plans to find the key and raid it.
“No, I don’t. The only office I have it this one. At the private practice,” Dr. Anozi, and Alexander had both worked at the private practice. It was an exclusive psychiatry building. Only certain people could enter. Even I couldn’t enter without Dr. Anozi, or Dr. Laveney.
“It’s a nice office,” I said, running out of things to say.
“Thank you. Well, Damien, how have the past few weeks been?” Alexander asked.
“They’ve been decent,” I told the half-truth. It hadn’t been extremely bad, but it hadn’t been great either.
“Really? Grey called me not long ago saying the voices had been bothering you,” said Alexander, his brow furrowed slightly.
“Well, they gave me trouble during a thunderstorm,” I said.
“Was the topic connected to the storm?” I didn’t want to tell him the truth.
“No, I was asked questions I’ve never been faced with,” I said not giving it all away.
“Such as?” Dr. Laveney dug for information.
“There were a few questions about my sexual identity,” Alexander’s eyes widened as he looked at me. There it went, what I’d been trying to cover up for years. It was starring me straight in the face, and I couldn’t deny it.
I came to a realization last night. Today, I would make my move. I have done enough to hold my own. Now I could be happy…Maybe.
I debated whether, or not I should tell Alexander about Lucy. Dr. Anozi would’ve liked the idea, but I’m not sure about Dr. Laveney.
I also wondered if I should tell him about my outbreak from the other night. Should I tell Alexander about the voices? I would decide when he asked.
After a moment, a sharp knock startled me. I looked up at the wooden door as it opened. Dr. Laveney stood in the doorway, peering at me with his coco brown eyes. A smile played on his thin lips.
“Damien Demidov, I was wondering when I’d see you again,” Alexander said.
“You knew when I’d be in,” I said, returning the smile.
“I was hoping I’d see you sooner,” he sat down on a light brown chair across from the couch.
“I’m always busy,” I said, remembering how the week had been.
“Yes, I can tell, new jobs keep you busy,” I knew that all too well.
“Yes, I know. I just received my license,” I said, then immediately felt stupid. Alexander knew I had my license I’d called his phone for that patient I lost.
“I know you left a message on my phone. I believe you asked me to call in a prescription for a dead patient,” Alexander said with a peculiar look on his face. I couldn’t quite categorize the emotion.
“Oh, yes, I forgot,” I lied, making myself not seem like a total dumb ass. “Keep in mind, though. I called you before he committed suicide.”
“Rule number one when working with psychotic patients at a hospital: never, EVER leave the room. They will end up like Jared,” said Alexander.
“Hopefully, I won’t have to work in the hospital anymore. Maybe I can keep to the asylum,” I said.
“How is the institution doing? I haven’t been up there since the day Dr. Anozi left,” Alexander moved his head to the side.
“Good, I’m up there now. I have Dr. Anozi’s old office,” I said.
“Really? I was wondering who would get it.”
“So, why haven’t you been to the institution?” I asked.
“I’ve been on vacation for the last week. Before that most of my cases have been at the hospital,” he answered.
“Oh, are you still working at the asylum?”
“Yes, but not as often as the hospital,” Alexander looked out the tall, glass window as a bird went by.
“Do you have an office up there?” I asked, making plans to find the key and raid it.
“No, I don’t. The only office I have it this one. At the private practice,” Dr. Anozi, and Alexander had both worked at the private practice. It was an exclusive psychiatry building. Only certain people could enter. Even I couldn’t enter without Dr. Anozi, or Dr. Laveney.
“It’s a nice office,” I said, running out of things to say.
“Thank you. Well, Damien, how have the past few weeks been?” Alexander asked.
“They’ve been decent,” I told the half-truth. It hadn’t been extremely bad, but it hadn’t been great either.
“Really? Grey called me not long ago saying the voices had been bothering you,” said Alexander, his brow furrowed slightly.
“Well, they gave me trouble during a thunderstorm,” I said.
“Was the topic connected to the storm?” I didn’t want to tell him the truth.
“No, I was asked questions I’ve never been faced with,” I said not giving it all away.
“Such as?” Dr. Laveney dug for information.
“There were a few questions about my sexual identity,” Alexander’s eyes widened as he looked at me. There it went, what I’d been trying to cover up for years. It was starring me straight in the face, and I couldn’t deny it.
I wrote this is five minutes. Not that good, I know.
It's in the point of view of a fire.
It's in a fireplace in a living room.
Hope you enjoy.
Read to the rhythym you would
'The Night Before Christmas'
I flickered and jumped
and sat on the logs
and watched as the human
kicked off his clogs.
The dog soon followed
and sat by his side
and they soon were asleep
and my flame soon died.
But a flicker did linger
and I wondered a bit.
When would be the next time
that I would be lit?
-starwarsfangirl
5/4/10
It's in the point of view of a fire.
It's in a fireplace in a living room.
Hope you enjoy.
Read to the rhythym you would
'The Night Before Christmas'
I flickered and jumped
and sat on the logs
and watched as the human
kicked off his clogs.
The dog soon followed
and sat by his side
and they soon were asleep
and my flame soon died.
But a flicker did linger
and I wondered a bit.
When would be the next time
that I would be lit?
-starwarsfangirl
5/4/10
I am bored with love
and it's passionless limbs
that drape over my bed
in a lethargic state of impotence
while wearing the same red heart
my soul picked up hitchhiking
off highway serendipity
Now here we are
alone in togetherness
trying to build dreams
with two by fours and glue,
but even a home
won't tie us together
when our hearts live alone
Poetic vows cliched
into nothingness
like all words do, eventually
and we allowed our bodies to become another pair of hollow shadows that make love to a wall
instead of each other
and we wonder why
the roses are dying
and it's passionless limbs
that drape over my bed
in a lethargic state of impotence
while wearing the same red heart
my soul picked up hitchhiking
off highway serendipity
Now here we are
alone in togetherness
trying to build dreams
with two by fours and glue,
but even a home
won't tie us together
when our hearts live alone
Poetic vows cliched
into nothingness
like all words do, eventually
and we allowed our bodies to become another pair of hollow shadows that make love to a wall
instead of each other
and we wonder why
the roses are dying
jamie is a beautiful girl. she has long ,blond hair,she has a pink shirt and dark blue jeans. she was the cousin of lindsey.
she was walking her dog,sweetie,when,jamie tripped on a rock. she thn fell into the arms of trent.
'hell," he said.
"thnks for saving me,abd hi."
"you okay?"
"yeah,but,i,need to rest,and my house is pretty far from here.
"you can com,e over. i live across."
"thanks,um,"
"trent."
"trent."
they went to trents house,and they went up to his rom
"and this is my room."
i had a gray wall,with gutiar poster,and a bed.closet,drawers and other things.
"wow,thats a cool room."
"thanks."
"listen,do you have a girlfreind?"
"no,why?'
"i dont,do you wanna go out?"
"okay."
"so.."
then trent kissed jamie,and thats hat went on for the rest of the day.
she was walking her dog,sweetie,when,jamie tripped on a rock. she thn fell into the arms of trent.
'hell," he said.
"thnks for saving me,abd hi."
"you okay?"
"yeah,but,i,need to rest,and my house is pretty far from here.
"you can com,e over. i live across."
"thanks,um,"
"trent."
"trent."
they went to trents house,and they went up to his rom
"and this is my room."
i had a gray wall,with gutiar poster,and a bed.closet,drawers and other things.
"wow,thats a cool room."
"thanks."
"listen,do you have a girlfreind?"
"no,why?'
"i dont,do you wanna go out?"
"okay."
"so.."
then trent kissed jamie,and thats hat went on for the rest of the day.
i dindnt say anything for a minute,then i spoke.
'do you know why?"
'well,she said something about an old friend in texas." izzy told me.
"you dont think.."
"maybe.where else could she have gone?"
"come by my house after school,i have plan."
After school,izzy came over.We went to my room.
"what are we gonna do?"izzy asked,as soon as she walked in the room.
"wee gonig to find aslee" i siad,trying to sound as serious as possible.
"youre kidding,right? i mean,where are we gonna go?"izzy said.
"texas"
she stared at me.Blankly.Not saying a thing.As if she was gonna drop dead.
"izzy?"i asked,trying to get her back to reality.
"you must be on drugs," she said
"what?"
"youve got to be joking me.i mean,your mom is not gonig to take us,my mom is dead,and theres no way ere gonna..wait...your not saying?
"yep,wee going to texas"
'do you know why?"
'well,she said something about an old friend in texas." izzy told me.
"you dont think.."
"maybe.where else could she have gone?"
"come by my house after school,i have plan."
After school,izzy came over.We went to my room.
"what are we gonna do?"izzy asked,as soon as she walked in the room.
"wee gonig to find aslee" i siad,trying to sound as serious as possible.
"youre kidding,right? i mean,where are we gonna go?"izzy said.
"texas"
she stared at me.Blankly.Not saying a thing.As if she was gonna drop dead.
"izzy?"i asked,trying to get her back to reality.
"you must be on drugs," she said
"what?"
"youve got to be joking me.i mean,your mom is not gonig to take us,my mom is dead,and theres no way ere gonna..wait...your not saying?
"yep,wee going to texas"
poem 1:the world
the sun shines bright
there's day,and there's night
both are beautiful sights
this is the world
Winter,spring,summer,and fall
is a magical season
so there is no reason
for you to hate
seasons so great
we are all one
we need the sun
we need the air
we all care
about the world
poem 2:love
there is something above
we cant see it
we cant bee it
but we all know what it is
it is love
love is what we need
to live,to breath
to be what we can be
we all need love
love is power
love is strong.
thats why love songs
are so very strong
Poem 3:run (this one isnt all that good)
in the sun
is where i run
away from here
ill not be near
Something that will kill me
something that can be
so deadly and strong
and can kill me with a song
thats why i run
in the sun
i still remember you hum.
im sorry i must run.
the sun shines bright
there's day,and there's night
both are beautiful sights
this is the world
Winter,spring,summer,and fall
is a magical season
so there is no reason
for you to hate
seasons so great
we are all one
we need the sun
we need the air
we all care
about the world
poem 2:love
there is something above
we cant see it
we cant bee it
but we all know what it is
it is love
love is what we need
to live,to breath
to be what we can be
we all need love
love is power
love is strong.
thats why love songs
are so very strong
Poem 3:run (this one isnt all that good)
in the sun
is where i run
away from here
ill not be near
Something that will kill me
something that can be
so deadly and strong
and can kill me with a song
thats why i run
in the sun
i still remember you hum.
im sorry i must run.
I remember the times of the i love you's
and times when it was i hate you.
But you come back begging at me feet.
And when my pity defeated me.
and the sweet seranades, in our matching shades.
My rose collection, evidence of your effection.
The sheets unmade, from the nights you stayed.
The child in me, from the times you loved me.
The debt you owe, from using the word borrow.
The times i was scared, was the time you spared.
And this dress i wear, in which are people become aware, that you are gone, and withdrawn.
The memories i hold, they are written in bold.
my broken heart, from when you apart.
so rest now my love, up now from above.
and times when it was i hate you.
But you come back begging at me feet.
And when my pity defeated me.
and the sweet seranades, in our matching shades.
My rose collection, evidence of your effection.
The sheets unmade, from the nights you stayed.
The child in me, from the times you loved me.
The debt you owe, from using the word borrow.
The times i was scared, was the time you spared.
And this dress i wear, in which are people become aware, that you are gone, and withdrawn.
The memories i hold, they are written in bold.
my broken heart, from when you apart.
so rest now my love, up now from above.