I sat on a black, leather couch, starring at the deep blue walls. I was in Alexander’s office, for my appointment. I’d come here straight from the cathedral. My hair was tangled, and messy. I still wore plaid pajama bottoms, and an old, gray tee shirt.
I came to a realization last night. Today, I would make my move. I have done enough to hold my own. Now I could be happy…Maybe.
I debated whether, or not I should tell Alexander about Lucy. Dr. Anozi would’ve liked the idea, but I’m not sure about Dr. Laveney.
I also wondered if I should tell him about my outbreak from the other night. Should I tell Alexander about the voices? I would decide when he asked.
After a moment, a sharp knock startled me. I looked up at the wooden door as it opened. Dr. Laveney stood in the doorway, peering at me with his coco brown eyes. A smile played on his thin lips.
“Damien Demidov, I was wondering when I’d see you again,” Alexander said.
“You knew when I’d be in,” I said, returning the smile.
“I was hoping I’d see you sooner,” he sat down on a light brown chair across from the couch.
“I’m always busy,” I said, remembering how the week had been.
“Yes, I can tell, new jobs keep you busy,” I knew that all too well.
“Yes, I know. I just received my license,” I said, then immediately felt stupid. Alexander knew I had my license I’d called his phone for that patient I lost.
“I know you left a message on my phone. I believe you asked me to call in a prescription for a dead patient,” Alexander said with a peculiar look on his face. I couldn’t quite categorize the emotion.
“Oh, yes, I forgot,” I lied, making myself not seem like a total dumb ass. “Keep in mind, though. I called you before he committed suicide.”
“Rule number one when working with psychotic patients at a hospital: never, EVER leave the room. They will end up like Jared,” said Alexander.
“Hopefully, I won’t have to work in the hospital anymore. Maybe I can keep to the asylum,” I said.
“How is the institution doing? I haven’t been up there since the day Dr. Anozi left,” Alexander moved his head to the side.
“Good, I’m up there now. I have Dr. Anozi’s old office,” I said.
“Really? I was wondering who would get it.”
“So, why haven’t you been to the institution?” I asked.
“I’ve been on vacation for the last week. Before that most of my cases have been at the hospital,” he answered.
“Oh, are you still working at the asylum?”
“Yes, but not as often as the hospital,” Alexander looked out the tall, glass window as a bird went by.
“Do you have an office up there?” I asked, making plans to find the key and raid it.
“No, I don’t. The only office I have it this one. At the private practice,” Dr. Anozi, and Alexander had both worked at the private practice. It was an exclusive psychiatry building. Only certain people could enter. Even I couldn’t enter without Dr. Anozi, or Dr. Laveney.
“It’s a nice office,” I said, running out of things to say.
“Thank you. Well, Damien, how have the past few weeks been?” Alexander asked.
“They’ve been decent,” I told the half-truth. It hadn’t been extremely bad, but it hadn’t been great either.
“Really? Grey called me not long ago saying the voices had been bothering you,” said Alexander, his brow furrowed slightly.
“Well, they gave me trouble during a thunderstorm,” I said.
“Was the topic connected to the storm?” I didn’t want to tell him the truth.
“No, I was asked questions I’ve never been faced with,” I said not giving it all away.
“Such as?” Dr. Laveney dug for information.
“There were a few questions about my sexual identity,” Alexander’s eyes widened as he looked at me. There it went, what I’d been trying to cover up for years. It was starring me straight in the face, and I couldn’t deny it.
I came to a realization last night. Today, I would make my move. I have done enough to hold my own. Now I could be happy…Maybe.
I debated whether, or not I should tell Alexander about Lucy. Dr. Anozi would’ve liked the idea, but I’m not sure about Dr. Laveney.
I also wondered if I should tell him about my outbreak from the other night. Should I tell Alexander about the voices? I would decide when he asked.
After a moment, a sharp knock startled me. I looked up at the wooden door as it opened. Dr. Laveney stood in the doorway, peering at me with his coco brown eyes. A smile played on his thin lips.
“Damien Demidov, I was wondering when I’d see you again,” Alexander said.
“You knew when I’d be in,” I said, returning the smile.
“I was hoping I’d see you sooner,” he sat down on a light brown chair across from the couch.
“I’m always busy,” I said, remembering how the week had been.
“Yes, I can tell, new jobs keep you busy,” I knew that all too well.
“Yes, I know. I just received my license,” I said, then immediately felt stupid. Alexander knew I had my license I’d called his phone for that patient I lost.
“I know you left a message on my phone. I believe you asked me to call in a prescription for a dead patient,” Alexander said with a peculiar look on his face. I couldn’t quite categorize the emotion.
“Oh, yes, I forgot,” I lied, making myself not seem like a total dumb ass. “Keep in mind, though. I called you before he committed suicide.”
“Rule number one when working with psychotic patients at a hospital: never, EVER leave the room. They will end up like Jared,” said Alexander.
“Hopefully, I won’t have to work in the hospital anymore. Maybe I can keep to the asylum,” I said.
“How is the institution doing? I haven’t been up there since the day Dr. Anozi left,” Alexander moved his head to the side.
“Good, I’m up there now. I have Dr. Anozi’s old office,” I said.
“Really? I was wondering who would get it.”
“So, why haven’t you been to the institution?” I asked.
“I’ve been on vacation for the last week. Before that most of my cases have been at the hospital,” he answered.
“Oh, are you still working at the asylum?”
“Yes, but not as often as the hospital,” Alexander looked out the tall, glass window as a bird went by.
“Do you have an office up there?” I asked, making plans to find the key and raid it.
“No, I don’t. The only office I have it this one. At the private practice,” Dr. Anozi, and Alexander had both worked at the private practice. It was an exclusive psychiatry building. Only certain people could enter. Even I couldn’t enter without Dr. Anozi, or Dr. Laveney.
“It’s a nice office,” I said, running out of things to say.
“Thank you. Well, Damien, how have the past few weeks been?” Alexander asked.
“They’ve been decent,” I told the half-truth. It hadn’t been extremely bad, but it hadn’t been great either.
“Really? Grey called me not long ago saying the voices had been bothering you,” said Alexander, his brow furrowed slightly.
“Well, they gave me trouble during a thunderstorm,” I said.
“Was the topic connected to the storm?” I didn’t want to tell him the truth.
“No, I was asked questions I’ve never been faced with,” I said not giving it all away.
“Such as?” Dr. Laveney dug for information.
“There were a few questions about my sexual identity,” Alexander’s eyes widened as he looked at me. There it went, what I’d been trying to cover up for years. It was starring me straight in the face, and I couldn’t deny it.
Serena
He didn't seem... mad. Like he should have been. Like he had every right to be.
He stopped maybe a meter away from me. I glanced up, and saw the same look of indecision I had seen on his face the first day.
I had no idea what I was supposed to do. My life is not a perfect little story where happy endings are mandatory.
I didn't expect myself to sink to the floor against the wall and begin crying. There just weren't words to say what I wanted to.
I didn't expect him to sit in front of me and put his hands on my shoulders. He forced me to to look up at him, and he said, "Tell me."
He didn't seem... mad. Like he should have been. Like he had every right to be.
He stopped maybe a meter away from me. I glanced up, and saw the same look of indecision I had seen on his face the first day.
I had no idea what I was supposed to do. My life is not a perfect little story where happy endings are mandatory.
I didn't expect myself to sink to the floor against the wall and begin crying. There just weren't words to say what I wanted to.
I didn't expect him to sit in front of me and put his hands on my shoulders. He forced me to to look up at him, and he said, "Tell me."
i would end up here with you
i was a restless wanderer on a distant path
you were a lonely dreamer with a broken laugh
i would go anywhere the road would lead
my hopes and dreams is all that i would need
i don't need a house or fancy cars
i would rather sleep underneath the stars
you did'nt have much to call your own
but what a lovely smile on your face shown
you said your chance at love had past you by
i told i'm here so dont you cry
our lives were like the pieces of a broken heart
now that we're together what a life could start
there was magic in the air that night
everything was moving at the speed of light
you were like my juliet and i your romeo
you love me i love you thats all i need to know
no longer will you dream of love thats true
no longer will i wander my search has led to you
----------
Say we’re up in space, and we remove all the stars or anything that is luminous. Light would be nonexistent. Next we’ll remove all the planets, minerals, materials, chemicals, particles, atoms, and anything in between. We remove thing, we remove matter, we remove time, we remove life. We remove substance. We remove dark matter. We remove reality. What’s left? Space and Darkness. There is no color. There is no thing. There is nothingness. There is darkness and space. If there exists no thing but something is present then is there really nothing there? Space is infinite so nothingness is infinity. There is only infinite nothingness. Life was a miracle. Now please define nothing to me.
Bonus Questions: What would be the temperature in infinite nothingness in the absence of (thing, matter, reality)?
Is reality really life?