Windwakerguy430 Article: Best of Master Sword from SATEN TWIST ADVENTURES:

Best of Master Sword from SATEN TWIST ADVENTURES:

posted by Canada24

#1:
Master Sword: For the last time! I'm not your friend!.. I never even met you.
Saten: Sure we are. You invited me to your birthday.
Master Sword: No. You 'showed up' at my birthday.. I don't even know how you found my house.

#2:
Saten: (a year or two ago) Excuse me. I'm looking for the owner this business?
Girl: Wait though there (points at Master Swords office)
Saten: (starting going in).
Master Sword: (hiding behind wall) Come on. Come on.
Saten: (walks in) Excuse me I-
Sword: (tackles him and start violently beating him up)... (stops).. Sorry. (pants). I thought you were the mafia.
Saten: N -No I'm Saten Twist.
Sword: Who?
Saten: I've been asked to interview you.
Sword: Interview!?. (eyes narrow) Well. You can't interview a dead man now CAN YOU! (jumps out the four story window, and ends up going into ambulance, and he waves evily to Saten, as Saten watches him get lifted into the ambulance).

#3:
ron will: Welcome. To Iron wills show on being assertive.. Here's how being assertive works. You take down who's bigger then you.. Example. Who's the toughest pony in the crowd?
Sword: (there with Fluttershy) Well. I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I believe I hold the extinction o- (gets grabbed by Iron will and gets violently beaten up from off view).
Iron Will: Alright. Now who's the funniest?
Sword: I know my way around a jo- (starts getting beat up again).
Pony: For god sakes! Have some humility! It'll save your life!

#4:
Twilight: (sleeping soundly).. (she is suddenly awaken by a loud gunshot) WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!? (runs done stairs, and suddenly gasps)..
Master Sword: (holding pistol, and Santa Clause is seen laying dead from a bullet though his head).. (groans). Before you start.
Twilight: Jesus christ!
Master Sword: (annoyedly) Okay! Before, you, start!
Twilight: HOLLY SHIT!
Master Sword: (annoyed) You gonna let me explain!?
Twilight: (angry) Yes Sword! I would love to know why you shot and killed, FATHER CHRISTMAS!
Master Sword: ... He startled me!
Twilight: (annoyed) HE STARTLED YOU!?
Master Sword: He! Startled me!
Twilight: (sarcastically) Oh, guess he should apologize than!
Master Sword: Well. That'll be kinda hard, cause.. I shot him..

#5: (related to 4)
Master Sword: Well. Looks like I better save Christmas..
Twilight: You can't be serious!?
Master Sword: I don't see any other opinion..
Twilight: ... You planned this, didn't you!?
Master sword: Whaaaaat!? No!
Twilight: You planned this! I know you did!
Master Sword: You honestly think I wou-
Spike: (comes out, in elf costume) Hey Sword. The sled is ready, an. (sees twilight). Uh oh..
(long pause).
Master Sword: You would not believe how cheap that elf costume was.
Twilight: (starts growling)
Master Sword: (happily) I stole it.
Twilight: SWOOO-
Master Sword: LET ME HAVE MY NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS MOMENT!

#6:
Saten walks back from train station.
Loud police voice: GET DOWN ON THE GROUND ASSHOLE! (Saten freaks out and hides on the ground surrendering) I'LL SHOOT YOUR LEGS OFF!!
Master Sword: (comes into view, driving police car). Hahaha! Gotcha.. Naw, it's just me
Saten: Sword? You scared th- Oh shit, did you steal cop car!?.. That's crazy!
Master Sword: No, what's crazy. Is leaving it unintended, anyone cold of stole it.. Prove.. I did!
Saten: But dude! You can't steal police cars! You know how illage that is!?
Master Sword: Pffffft, who will pull over a police car.
Saten: I- ... Wow., your actually right.
Master Sword: Have I ever NOT been right?
(shows an image of Saten about to be lite from a powerful cannon in a very dangerious and unprofessional way, and Master Sword giving him thumbs up, as it was Master Sword's idea).

#7:
Radio: Car 53, we're you heading in such a hurry?
Master Sword: Oh s*** that's us.. Uhhh... There's uh., bank robbery.
Radio: There's a bank robbery!?
Master Sword: Yes, we're.. We're heading their now! (turns on the Sirons and starts speeding).
Saten: Dude, we're are you going!?
Master Sword: Didn't you hear! Theirs a bank robbery!
Saten: What!? No theirs not-
Master Sword: PROTECT AND SERVE MOTHER FU-
SOON AFTER:
Suddenly the car Master Sword burst into the said bank.
Master Sword waved a loaded pistol around the bank.
Master Sword: YOUR BEING ROBBED! (Points gun at employee) WERE'S YOUR MONEY!
Employee: (crying) p, please don't kill me!
Master Sword: (dramatically) please don't MAKE ME!
(Sword and Saten arrive into the back of the bank)
Saten: Dude, what are you doing!?
Master Sword: No talk! We gotta take all this cash!
Saten: Soooo, nobody can steal it?
Master Sword: Uhh, yeah!
Saten: Hmmm, Good idea (starts grabbing money bags)

#8:
Sword: To prove my hatred of this place, I'm gonna leave a lousy tip...under fifteen percent!... And then I'll send my meal back, even though it's EXACTLY what I ordered!

#9:
Dr. Hooves: What's in it for me?
Master Sword: How about the glory of me not breaking your arm for your earlier statement.
Dr. Hooves: All I said was she looks a bit slu-
Master Sword: (holds Hoove's arm painfully).
Dr. Hooves: OKAY! OKAY!

#10:
Derpy: Thanks for another date.
Master Sword: Yes.. And I'm here to make it night your never forget.. (shoots pony dead for no apparent reason).
Derpy: ... Oh my.
Master Sword: (proudly) Yeah.

2

Corner of Horror - Episode 78 - Condemned: Criminal Origins

posted by Windwakerguy430

Oh, Sega. When will you ever care about other properties that aren’t Sonic already. Well, with a new Shenmue game being announced… Behind a wall of Sonic games, I think now is a good time to talk about a classic Sega game. And not just any Sega game, but a horror Sega game that fell into obscurity after some time ago. Yes, everyone. Today, we will be taking a look at the psychological horror game known as Condemned: Criminal Origins. Also, since this is an underrated game, I think that this will also be a Hidden Gems article. So, today, you will get both a Corner of Horror and a Hidden...

1

Crimson Salvation: Episode 2

posted by Windwakerguy430

Barry: (Parks his car in front of a small white house, and makes his way to the door)
Ruby: (Runs out the door) Daddy’s home (Runs over and hugs Barry)
Barry: (Hugs back) Hi, Ruby. How’ve you been?
Ruby: I’ve been great. The school got cancelled on account of a giant robot attack, so I got more time to work on my science project
Barry: That’s great
(A teenage girl in punk attire with brown hair sits at the doorway, texting on her cellphone)
Barry: Hi, Rose
Rose: (Looks up and nods as she keeps texting)
Barry: Where’s your mother, Ruby?
Ruby: She’s inside. Said that she was on the phone with...

1

Corner of Horror - Episode 70 - Fifth Day of Christmassacre: The Children

posted by Windwakerguy430

Okay, thankfully, after three days in a row of bad Christmas horror movies, we can now get a good one. Now, when you think of anything that appears to be scary, what do you think of? Serial killers, giant monsters, dangerous animals, and more. But, how many of you think of children being scary… Well, if you’ve seen Eraserhead or just in general hate children, I can’t really blame you. But, if you aren’t scared of kids, than this movie will probably make you change your mind. And that movie in question is, creatively, named The Children

The Children takes place not on Christmas,...

1

Corner of Horror - Episode 61 - Trick 'r Treat (Finale of October Movie Marathon)

posted by Windwakerguy430

Happy Halloween, everyone. For real this time. Now we have finally reached the last movie of this crazy month. Are you excited? I know I am. So let’s talk about the Halloweeniest movies out there, otherwise known as Hallowee- Oh, wait. I already reviewed Halloween… Well, don’t worry. I got something even better. Something even more Halloweeny. And that movie is the underrated horror movie, Trick ‘r Treat.

Now, is Trick ‘r Treat better than Halloween. I can’t say for sure. However, what I can say is that Trick ‘r Treat definitely feels more like a Halloween movie (The holiday,...

1

Corner of Horror - Episode 59 - Texas Chainsaw Massacre (Day 29 of October Movie Marathon)

posted by Windwakerguy430

Art by SeantheHedgehog

Back in the 70s, when movies were hard to make, and when the only slasher movie out there was Psycho, a little known director by the name of Tobe Hooper had a vision. Create a movie that’s very violent and gory, without much violence and gore shown. And so he went to work, creating a movie that me and my friends find to be one of the best slasher movies out there. And that movie happens to be Texas Chainsaw Massacre… The 1974. Not the crappy and gory remake.

The movie follows a woman by the name of Sally, her paraplegic brother Franklin, and their three friends, Jerry, Kirk, and Pam,...

1

Crimson Salvation Pilot Episode

posted by Windwakerguy430

(Over the town of Sangria, a lighting bolts crashes through a building) (A large human-like creature emerges from the lightning bolt and begins to run through the city)
Alarm: Attention all civilians. A large monster is attacking the city. Evacuate immediately
(Crowds of people run away from the giant monster)
Police Chief: This is the City of Sangria Police Chief. Can any heroes hear me. We need help
(The radio is answered)
Crimson Salvation: Don’t worry, I’ve got this
Police Chief: C-Crimson Salvation? Is that you
Crimson Salvation: That’s right. I’ll take care of this problem
Police Chief:...

3

∞ Reasons Why Shadow The Hedgehog Is Evil

posted by deathding

(Please be advised that there's some more mature humor in this, thanks in advance!)

Shadow the Hedgehog. A huge gaming icon and certainly one of the most popular anti-heroes of all time. He's made many appearances throughout the Sonic series, and will always be loved in the hearts of many.

....Which brings me to the conclusion that he is EVIL! Yeah, a hedgehog named Shadow is evil, WHO WOULD'VE FUCKING GUESSED IT!?

So without further ado, I'm your host Ethan Bradberry and let's get RIGHT into the fucking news.

1. His name is Shadow for God's sake. And we're original. Trust me. ;)

2. It doesn't matter...

2

Corner of Horror - Episode 19 - Naoki Urasawa's Monster

posted by Windwakerguy430

Art by SeantheHedgehog

Wow, a horror anime review. It only took a while, with the last one being Parasyte. I know it’s been awhile since my review on a horror anime, which I will try to do a lot more of if I have the time. Because having to watch episode after episode is a bit of a challenge. So, today, we’ll be watching a special horror anime. One that I love oh so much. And it doesn’t even have creative disturbing monsters, which you know will instantly interesat me. Instead, we got an anime about human. But I assure you, people can be just as much of monsters as any creature. And this anime just so happens...

1

How Resident Evil's Horror and Silent Hill 2' Horror is Different

posted by Windwakerguy430

I always enjoyed the horror genre. Sure, I may love those family friendly Nintendo games, and all of those bright colors in it. But, whenever I get the feeling, I just want to play a game that’s grim, dark, and terrifying. And thankfully, there is no short supply of terrifying video games. There are so many, like Dead Space, now turned into a non-survival horror game in the 3rd game thanks to EA’s co-op decision, Fatal Frame, which is now being highly censored due to angry mobs of femi-nazis, and Five Nights at Freddy’s…….. And that’s all I gotta say. But if there are two wonderful...

Why Wind Should NOT Visit Resident Evil (Jill's Side)

posted by Windwakerguy430

Wind: Sheesh, you’d think they could handle a couple dogs (Walks to the door)
Wesker: No! You don’t want to go back out there
Wind: …. Why? This mansion is probably filled with god knows what, and you’re scared of a couple of dogs? Fuck it, whatever. What do we do now?
Barry: We should split up and look around
Wind: Oh, yeah. That’s a great idea

Barry: Hey, look at this? It’s blood. I hope it’s not Chris’s blood
Wind: I have absolutely no idea who that is.

Wind: (Walks down a hallway, and meets a zombie)
Zombie: (Eats Kenneth, before getting up and looking at Wind)
Wind: ……. Well...

Top 5 funniest responses to "Do midgets have night vision?"

posted by Canada24

#1:
Actually, it has been historically proven that this is a fact. In the Midget/Elf wars of 991 BC, Midgets used their superior vision to lead night time archer attacks and take out hoardes of elves each night. Unfortunately, these tactics led to the extinction of the Elves and that is the reason midgets are the only tiny humanoids alive today. Private contractors for the U.S. military are now trying to deploy Midgets into combat today to increase accuracy on late night bombing runs and ground assaults. They are also trying to develop Midget sized planes that would be undetectable by radar....

Windwakerguy430's Top 100 Favorite Video Games (Short)

posted by Windwakerguy430

Boy, do I love video games. I still have a ton I want to play, but until I do, I just want to list the ones that I myself have played. No, rules as usual. Only one game per franchise, and only ones that I have played. And, after I buy a million more games, I may make another list in the future. I don’t know, we’ll see. Well, with all that said, let us start this long, yet short list

#100: Turok: Dinosaur Hunter

A very fun and kinda hard game. The controls may be a lot different from how they are today, but after you get used to it, the game is still really fun. And it is a real blast...

1

Top ten worst Squidward moments

posted by Canada24

#10: HOME SWEET PINEAPPLE:
Cheers for SpongeBob moving away along with Gary, paying no attention to Patrick's sadness. But this is understandable, he always hated Spongebob.. But the pineapple home grows back to normal and squashes Squidward..

#9: SQUIDWARD THE UNFRIENDLY GHOST:
When SpongeBob and Patrick believe they have killed Squidward and that he is now a ghost, he takes advantage of this by making them his slaves..

#8: GOOD OLD WHATHISNAME:
Squidward steals What Zit Tooya's wallet and ran a red light in front of a police officer and gets arrested and was sentenced to 10 years in jail.

#7:...

1

Patrick Star: Top ten worst moments

posted by Canada24

1: VALENTINE'S DAY:
When SpongeBob didn't give him a present for Valentine's Day (He did but the present didn't come at first) Patrick was upset when he thought Spongebob lied to him. But eventually Patrick went insane over this; nearly destroying the amusement park and threatening the citizens. This is also widely considered to be Patrick's straightest villain role (alongside Rule of Dumb).

2: I'M WITH STUPID:
When Spongebob pretends to be dumb to make Patrick look smarter in front of his parents, Patrick takes it too far and begins treating Spongebob like he really is dumb. Not only that, but...

Windwakerguy430's Top 100 Animated Shows Part 10 FINALE

posted by Windwakerguy430

Well, we’re finally at the top ten. We’ve come quite a long way, haven’t we. But now, it is time to talk about the shows that impressed me beyond all expectations. So, here we go

#10: Elfen Lied

Now, if there is anything a horror anime must do best, it’s keep suspense and also scare the viewer throughout the entire show. Elfen Lied does just that. The show is about two cousins, Kouta and Yuka, who find a girl on the beach named Nyu. However, what they are not aware of is that this girl is actually named Lucy, and she is actually a Diclonius, which are a race of humans with psychic...

1

Windwakerguy430's Top Ten Worst Movies I've Ever Seen

posted by Windwakerguy430

Now, I have seen some serious shit when it comes to movies. Just because there are so many amazing movies out there doesn’t mean that all of them are amazing. Hell, some of them are the biggest pile of shit ever to rise from Satan’s toilet bowl. So, I am going to tell you all the worst movies I have ever seen. First off, these have to be movies that I have seen, so no Food Fight, Biodome, or any of the animated Titanic movies. However, trust me, there are some real bad choices on this list. Also, forget about seeing The Wicker Man, Birdemic, and The Room on this list, because at least those...

Windwakerguy430's Top Ten Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker Islands

posted by Windwakerguy430

After seeing an April Fool’s joke about the ten best Wind Wanker islands, that got me thinking that I should make my own. And no, not an April Fool’s joke either. I mean a truthful list. Now, before I begin, the rules are that I am not counting any main islands that have dungeons on them, or are major islands. So, Outset Island, Forsaken Fortress, Windfall Island, Dragon Roost Island, Forest Haven, Tower of the Gods, Headstone Island, or Wind Isle are all out. Now, with that said, lets start the list.

Islet of Steel

#10: Islet of Steel - Now, this is a very strange choice, since this...

Windwakerguy430's Top Ten Bad Endings in Video Games (MAJOR SPOILERS)

posted by Windwakerguy430

Now, there are a lot of games out there with a lot of endings. Endings in video games are a way to tie up the story loose ends and to reward the player with a sense of satisfaction. However, there are also THOSE endings. You know, those endings that are just bad. Now, when I say bad endings, I don’t mean bad as in “These endings are terrible. How could they be released?” I mean those endings that punish you for your poor choices throughout the game and give you a bad ending. Now, the rules are as followed. Only games that I have played, and only one per franchise. Also, this should be...

1

Windwakerguy430's Top Ten Worst Video Game Weapons

posted by Windwakerguy430

Now, video game have a LOT of weapons in them. Some of them are overpowered, some of them are funny, and some are really cool… And then there are THOSE weapons. You know, the ones that make you want to avoid them as much as possible. Yeah, THOSE weapons. Now, before I start this, some rules. One, these are only weapons from games that I have played, and only one per franchise. Also, these are not based off design. They are based off the weapons damage and how effective it is. Also, no powerups. So, nothing from Super Mario Bros, Kirby, Sonic, or any platformer. Oh, and the Klobb from Goldeneye...

1

Windwakerguy430's Top Ten Rare Items in Animal Crossing: New Leaf

posted by Windwakerguy430

Now, I love Animal Crossing: New Leaf. It’s one of my favorite games of all time. And, I REALLY love the rare items. Probably because they are based off other Nintendo Games. So, today, I am going to talk about my favorite items from the game. Why… because no one else has done it and I want to do it before it’s too late. Now, lets start

Fire Bar

#10: Fire Bar - Now, this is the Fire Bar from Super Mario Bros… Even though everyone just called it that thing that spins around fire balls. This is a cool item because it is ALWAYS spinning. Not to mention that it also plays the NES theme...