Song: link

Sean: *Backing into a station with a passenger train*
Jesse: Perfect timing.
Sean: Why?
Jesse: Listen to the music and you'll find out why.
Sean: We're not in New York City.
Liam: But that's where Bartholomew lives in his spin off. For the 2nd half of our show, we have back to back episodes. Have fun.

My name is Bartholomew Perfect The 55th. I was born in London, 1902. I lived there for nearly my entire life, but in 1951, I moved to Cheyenne Wyoming, which is in The United States of Equestria.

I worked on the Union Pacific as a conductor until June 1953, and I moved into Manehattan to work on the Neigh York Central.

Episode 1

Old Is New

June 20, 1953

Bartholomew is narrating.

The fabulous 50's. I'll never forget that decade, and it was a good thing I moved into Equestria. It had more to offer then any England, and France combined.

I was being interviewed for my new job in a section of Grand Central Station.

Assistant: The CEO will see you now.
Bartholomew: Excellent. *Goes into office*
CEO: Hi.
Bartholomew: Hello.
CEO: Tell me about yourself.
Bartholomew: My name is Bartholomew Perfect the 55th, and I'm from London U.K.
CEO: Yeah, I could tell by your accent. *Looking at papers* It says here that you used to be a conductor for the Union Pacific between 1951, and a few days ago.
Bartholomew: That's correct. I would like to be a conductor for the railroad here.
CEO: I'm sorry, but we don't have enough room for another conductor. However, we can have you as an engineer.
Bartholomew: An engineer? With all due respect, I don't know anything about driving a train.
CEO: It's alright. Lady will teach you once we get you into Harmon.
Bartholomew: Harmon?
CEO: Yes. You will drive trains from Manehattan, as far north as Albany. We have many fine passenger trains for a pony like yourself to drive, such as the Twentieth Century Limited, the Lake Shore Limited, the Empire State Express, and you could also drive a few commuter trains between Harmon, and here.
Bartholomew: Sure. I could get used to that.

Well, my first day, and already I've gone from Conductor to engineer. I didn't know how to drive a train, but I was going to get lessons. Now the next question on my mind was, who is Lady? I soon found out once I got to Harmon.

Bartholomew: *Waiting on platform*
Black Mare: *Walks up* Hello, I'm Lady.
Bartholomew: Nice to meet you. Bartholomew Perfect the 55th.
Lady: You had a lot of Bartholomew's in your family, didn't you?
Bartholomew: Correct.
Lady: Alright, now I'll show you how to drive a steam locomotive. On our way back, we'll learn how to drive a diesel.
Bartholomew: Sounds pretty simple.(I'm not going to do good, I just know it.)

A pony named Master Sword was the conductor of the train Bartholomew was going to drive.

Master Sword: All aboard!
Lady: *Blows whistle twice*
Signal Pony: *turns signal green*
Lady: *drives train* You know what this engine is we're driving?
Bartholomew: A 4-8-4?
Lady: Yeah, but we call them Neighagaras. We have 25 of them, and they're named after the Neighagara falls.
Bartholomew: Beautiful.

The train was gathering more speed as it left Harmon.

Bartholomew: *Sees station* What kind of trains stop there?
Lady: Only commuter trains. Some passengers take the train there into Grand Central, and then they take another train on the Harlem Division to get into the Bronx.
Bartholomew: What division are we on?
Lady: The Hudson Division.
Bartholomew: Why is it called that?
Lady: Look to your left.
Bartholomew: *Looking at Hudson River* Oh, I get it. That's pretty clever. If I'm not mistaken, the Hudson Division is also part of the Water Level Route into Chicagoat.
Lady: That's right.
Bartholomew: Good old Chicagoat. I went there once when I still worked on the U.P.
Lady: Could you tell me about it?
Bartholomew: Certainly. What happened was, a crazy pony named Orion Stardust caused an accident in the train yard on purpose, just before I was assigned to be the conductor of a freight going into Chicagoat.
Lady: Continue.
Bartholomew: Our train was being pulled by five diesels, but one of them was having engine trouble.
Lady: Nothing like the good old steam locomotive. Always reliable, and rarely breaking down.
Lady: So what did you have to do?
Bartholomew: We just stopped, and another engine had to take over. Nothing serious really, but just a little bit of an adventure.
Lady: Sounds like one for sure.

Soon, a tunnel could be seen in the distance, and in front of the tunnel was a station.

Lady: We have to stop here, and drop off some baggage.
Bartholomew: Oh really?
Lady: Yeah.
Skywalker: *Flying by train* Hey Lady, wanna go on a date tonight? I'm buying!
Lady: No thank you Skywalker.
Bartholomew: Skywalker? What kind of a name is that?
Lady: I know, right?
Bartholomew: If you ask me, it sounds more like the last name for somepony.
Lady: Who?
Bartholomew: I don't know, but I'm sure a movie will be created about him sometime in the future. Many movie companies are creative you know.
Lady: Right.
Skywalker: Hey, did you forget about me?
Lady: Of course not.
Skywalker: Good, because my train got derailed further up the line. Be careful.
Lady: Who do you think you are, Casey Jones?
Skywalker: Maybe I am. You got a problem with that?
Porters: *Finish unloading mail*
Master Sword: All aboard!
Lady: We'll argue again later. *Blows whistle twice, and drives away*
Skywalker: *Lands on station* Hey, I need help getting my train back on the tracks.
Porters: We're porters, not a breakdown gang.
Skywalker: Well get the breakdown gang so they can get my train back on the tracks.
Porters: Right. *Go inside to talk on telephone*

Getting to Albany took five hours. When we arrived, Lady, and I had to return to Harmon.

Lady: Now this is where we learn how to drive the diesel.
Bartholomew: Oh boy.
Lady: Relax. This will be very easy. *Gets in engine*
Bartholomew: *Gets in engine*
Lady: Now the ponies previously using this locomotive were kind enough to leave this running for us, and we can get out of here quicker.
Bartholomew: Oh, good. So what do I do?
Lady: It's simple really. We just pull this lever, and our engine moves. Very simple, and not as complicated as driving the steam train.
Bartholomoew: Right. So now what?
Lady: We go back to Harmon. Well actually, you have to go back to Manehattan.
Bartholomew: Oh yes, you're correct.
Lady: *Drives diesel* We're gonna have to back up on a freight, and stop at Harmon. A commuter train will take you back to Manehattan.
Bartholomew: How long do these commuters run for?
Lady: Every hour on the hour.
Bartholomew: That's what I call excellent service.
Lady: But who would ride a train at midnight?
Bartholomew: Gangsters.
Lady: Don't remind me.
Bartholomew: You have trouble with them here?
Lady: Yes.
Bartholomew: So did I when I was on the Union Pacific. However, I didn't encounter them as much as anypony else did, but one nearly killed my boss. However, he just remained calm, got in the locomotive, and drove away.
Lady: He must be really brave.

All the way from Albany into Harmon, we talked about gangsters.

Bartholomew: *Gets out of engine* Thanks for everything Lady.
Lady: No problem. I hope I see you tomorrow.
Bartholomew: I hope we work together again tomorrow as well. That was fun.
Lady: Oh, I'm sure we will.

I got on the train, and rode back to Manehattan. The CEO was waiting for me.

Bartholomew: *Gets out of train*
CEO: Well, what did you think?
Bartholomew: It was good. I enjoyed it.
CEO: Good. We hope you enjoy working for us for a long time.
Bartholomew: With pleasure.

I went to the front of Grand Central Station, got in a taxi, and went to my apartment. Today went well, and I was looking forward to tomorrow.

The End

---

Theme song: link

Seanthehedgehog Presents

Bartholomew

Starring

Bartholomew Perfect the 55th from Seanthehedgehog

Lady from CrazyWriterLady

Master Sword from Windwakerguy430

Skywalker from Alinah09

Whirl Wind from DragonAura15

Ten Cents, and Henrietta from Seanthehedgehog

Episode 2

Master Sword's perspective

July 1, 1953

Master Sword is narrating.

I joined the Neigh York Central two weeks ago. Then, a few days later, another new worker joins us. He's fifty one years old, and wears a monocle. He seems like a nice pony, but I don't think he should be driving a train, but our CEO doesn't know that.

Anyway, a week after Bartholomew joined, we get yet another new worker. I was just waiting for a train to get on when she appeared.

Master Sword: *Sitting on bench*
Bartholomew: *Driving commuter train towards station*
Master Sword: *Sees train*
Bartholomew: *Stops train*
Master Sword: *Sees Bartholomew* Good morning.
Bartholomew: Hi Master Sword. How are you?
Master Sword: Fine. I heard we have a new worker. Where is he?
Bartholomew: You mean she.
Master Sword: She?
Whirl Wind: *Gets out of train* Hi, I'm a conductor.
Master Sword: I thought we had too many of those.
Whirl Wind: We did, but one of them got killed in an accident.
Master Sword: How.. Nice to know.
Whirl Wind: Anyway, this is all for you to conduct. I have to get on another train heading back to Grand Central.
Master Sword: Okay, cool.
Bartholomew: *Uncouples electric locomotive, and drives it to servicing facility* It's a good thing this facility is near the station. I don't have to drive too far.
Lady: *Drives Hudson backwards onto passenger train*
Master Sword: *Seeing Whirl Wind getting on train* Best of luck to you.

While I was watching Whirl Wind getting on the train, I didn't notice Bartholomew walked up to me.

Bartholomew: I'm back.
Master Sword: I noticed.
Bartholomew: Is everything alright? You look like you're blushing.
Master Sword: I think I might be falling in love.

The train Whirl Wind was getting on was heading into Grand Central. I had to be on a train going to Albany.

Lady: Master Sword, hurry up!
Master Sword: I'm getting on. *Gets on*
Lady: *Drives train*
Bartholomew: If Master Sword likes the new worker, I could help him ask her out on a date.
Henrietta: *Walks up to Bartholomew* I believe we haven't met before.
Bartholomew: The CEO of this line told me about you. They showed me your picture, but they didn't tell me your name.
Henrietta: It's Henrietta.
Bartholomew: And you're my boss?
Henrietta: Yes.
Bartholomew: I didn't think mares could be the boss of something.
Henrietta: No, that's for African Equestrians, or negros.
Bartholomew: Negro?
Henrietta: That's another name for somepony that's black.
Bartholomew: Lady is black, and she's not an African Equestrian.
Henrietta: That's because she's unfortunately a doppleganger. If she wasn't a good engineer, I'd have her killed.
Bartholomew: I understand.
Henrietta: Now, there's somepony I'd like you to meet. He works on our tracks, and is british, just like you.
Bartholomew: Interesting. When does he get here?
Ten Cents: Right now.
Henrietta: Bartholomew, meet Ten Cents.
Ten Cents: Pleasure to meet you.
Bartholomew: Likewise.
Ten Cents: What's your job on here?
Bartholomew: Engineer.
Ten Cents: Cool. What train are you waiting for?
Bartholomew: The Empire State Express. It should arrive in a few minutes.
Lady: Well, I'm gonna let you two get acquainted. I need to sign some papers. *Goes to office*
Ten Cents: She's a nice pony, but much of the time, she's strict.
Bartholomew: It's better to have a strict boss, then to have one that's careless.
Ten Cents: I know what you mean.
Bartholomew: Do you know anything about love?
Ten Cents: I know some things that got me a special somepony. Why?
Bartholomew: It's about a friend of mine.

While Bartholomew was explaining to Ten Cents, I was thinking on how to ask Whirl Wind out.

Master Sword: *Standing by door*
Passenger: Excuse me sir, do you know when we'll reach the next station?
Master Sword: The next station is Peekskill. We should arrive in five to ten minutes.
Passenger: Thank you.
Master Sword: Hey, can I ask you a question?
Passenger: What?
Master Sword: What would a mare want from a stallion?
Passenger: Love, and occasionally some gifts.
Master Sword: Like what?
Passenger: Chocolate, or maybe a love letter with twenty dollars for her.
Master Sword: That's good. Thank you.

I now knew what I was going to give to Whirl Wind next time I saw her.

On the next day, I arrived at the station with a box of chocolates, and a love letter.

Master Sword: *Waiting for Whirl Wind*
Ten Cents: *Arrives* What's with those chocolates?
Master Sword: They're all for Whirl Wind.
Ten Cents: You know, Bartholomew was gonna try to get you two to in love.
Master Sword: What did you tell him?
Ten Cents: I told him that he should tell her nice things about you. Where is Bartholomew anyway?
Master Sword: He's coming from Grand Central Station. You know how crowded that station is.
Ten Cents: Oh yes. I saw somepony getting pushed on the floor. It was terrible.

A commuter train pulled by a small electric locomotive can be seen getting towards us. Bartholomew is back in town.

Bartholomew: *Stops train*
Henrietta: *Arrives* For me?
Master Sword: *Sees gifts* For Whirl Wind.
Henrietta: Oh.
Lady: Ma'am, I feel sick. Can I take the day off?
Henrietta: No. You may not.
Lady: Ugh! *Walks away*
Henrietta: Serves you right for being a doppleganger!
Ten Cents: What don't you like about dopplegangers?
Henrietta: Everything.
Bartholomew: Right, well I'm going to uncouple my engine, and let Lady back onto it with her engines. *Uncouples engine*
Henrietta: Make sure you get that thing into the servicing facility.
Bartholomew: I got it. *drives to servicing facility*

Another train coming all the way from Chicagoat arrived. Whirl Wind got on the train from Albany, and was on there right now. I had to play it cool.

Master Sword: *Stays still*
Ten Cents: Master? Did you freeze or something?
Master Sword: Yes, I froze.
Ten Cents: Why?
Master Sword: Because, I'm playing it cooooool.
Henrietta: Good luck Master Sword.
Bartholomew: *Sees Whirl Wind* Oh no! What will Master Sword do if I don't help him?
Whirl Wind: *Walks to Master Sword* Good morning.
Master Sword: Hi. *Gives chocolates, and love letters to Whirl Wind*
Whirl Wind: Are these really for me?
Master Sword: Yeah. I bought them myself, and I hope you enjoy them.
Whirl Wind: Well, thank you.
Bartholomew: *Stops engine at servicing facility* Now, to help out Master Sword*
Whirl Wind: What movie do you want to see?
Master Sword: I heard High Noon is good.
Whirl Wind: I don't like anything filmed in black, and white. How about Stalag 17? That's a new movie.
Master Sword: Sure.
Bartholomew: *Arrives* Don't worry Master Sword, I will help you ask Whirl Wind out now.
Master Sword: Ah, don't worry about it Bart. I got it, but thanks for trying to help anyway.
Bartholomew: Oh. *Blushes* Carry on.

Later that night, I got to see a great movie with Whirl Wind, who soon became my special somepony.

I guess after reading the ending, you could say there's a lesson to learn from this. It's a good thing to help out your friends, but sometimes, if necessary, you should only help them if they ask for you to help.

The End

Song: link

Sean: More Sinatra? This song is actually my favorite.
Liam: Thank you for watching our show everyone. Because of St. Patrick's Day, we will take next Saturday off. We'll be back on the 24th.