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Song: link

Sean: *Backing into a station with a passenger train*
Jesse: Perfect timing.
Sean: Why?
Jesse: Listen to the music and you'll find out why.
Sean: We're not in New York City.
Liam: But that's where Bartholomew lives in his spin off. For the 2nd half of our show, we have back to back episodes. Have fun.

My name is Bartholomew Perfect The 55th. I was born in London, 1902. I lived there for nearly my entire life, but in 1951, I moved to Cheyenne Wyoming, which is in The United States of Equestria.

I worked on the Union Pacific as a conductor until June 1953, and I moved into Manehattan to work on the Neigh York Central.

Episode 1

Old Is New

June 20, 1953

Bartholomew is narrating.

The fabulous 50's. I'll never forget that decade, and it was a good thing I moved into Equestria. It had more to offer then any England, and France combined.

I was being interviewed for my new job in a section of Grand Central Station.

Assistant: The CEO will see you now.
Bartholomew: Excellent. *Goes into office*
CEO: Hi.
Bartholomew: Hello.
CEO: Tell me about yourself.
Bartholomew: My name is Bartholomew Perfect the 55th, and I'm from London U.K.
CEO: Yeah, I could tell by your accent. *Looking at papers* It says here that you used to be a conductor for the Union Pacific between 1951, and a few days ago.
Bartholomew: That's correct. I would like to be a conductor for the railroad here.
CEO: I'm sorry, but we don't have enough room for another conductor. However, we can have you as an engineer.
Bartholomew: An engineer? With all due respect, I don't know anything about driving a train.
CEO: It's alright. Lady will teach you once we get you into Harmon.
Bartholomew: Harmon?
CEO: Yes. You will drive trains from Manehattan, as far north as Albany. We have many fine passenger trains for a pony like yourself to drive, such as the Twentieth Century Limited, the Lake Shore Limited, the Empire State Express, and you could also drive a few commuter trains between Harmon, and here.
Bartholomew: Sure. I could get used to that.

Well, my first day, and already I've gone from Conductor to engineer. I didn't know how to drive a train, but I was going to get lessons. Now the next question on my mind was, who is Lady? I soon found out once I got to Harmon.

Bartholomew: *Waiting on platform*
Black Mare: *Walks up* Hello, I'm Lady.
Bartholomew: Nice to meet you. Bartholomew Perfect the 55th.
Lady: You had a lot of Bartholomew's in your family, didn't you?
Bartholomew: Correct.
Lady: Alright, now I'll show you how to drive a steam locomotive. On our way back, we'll learn how to drive a diesel.
Bartholomew: Sounds pretty simple.(I'm not going to do good, I just know it.)

A pony named Master Sword was the conductor of the train Bartholomew was going to drive.

Master Sword: All aboard!
Lady: *Blows whistle twice*
Signal Pony: *turns signal green*
Lady: *drives train* You know what this engine is we're driving?
Bartholomew: A 4-8-4?
Lady: Yeah, but we call them Neighagaras. We have 25 of them, and they're named after the Neighagara falls.
Bartholomew: Beautiful.

The train was gathering more speed as it left Harmon.

Bartholomew: *Sees station* What kind of trains stop there?
Lady: Only commuter trains. Some passengers take the train there into Grand Central, and then they take another train on the Harlem Division to get into the Bronx.
Bartholomew: What division are we on?
Lady: The Hudson Division.
Bartholomew: Why is it called that?
Lady: Look to your left.
Bartholomew: *Looking at Hudson River* Oh, I get it. That's pretty clever. If I'm not mistaken, the Hudson Division is also part of the Water Level Route into Chicagoat.
Lady: That's right.
Bartholomew: Good old Chicagoat. I went there once when I still worked on the U.P.
Lady: Could you tell me about it?
Bartholomew: Certainly. What happened was, a crazy pony named Orion Stardust caused an accident in the train yard on purpose, just before I was assigned to be the conductor of a freight going into Chicagoat.
Lady: Continue.
Bartholomew: Our train was being pulled by five diesels, but one of them was having engine trouble.
Lady: Nothing like the good old steam locomotive. Always reliable, and rarely breaking down.
Lady: So what did you have to do?
Bartholomew: We just stopped, and another engine had to take over. Nothing serious really, but just a little bit of an adventure.
Lady: Sounds like one for sure.

Soon, a tunnel could be seen in the distance, and in front of the tunnel was a station.

Lady: We have to stop here, and drop off some baggage.
Bartholomew: Oh really?
Lady: Yeah.
Skywalker: *Flying by train* Hey Lady, wanna go on a date tonight? I'm buying!
Lady: No thank you Skywalker.
Bartholomew: Skywalker? What kind of a name is that?
Lady: I know, right?
Bartholomew: If you ask me, it sounds more like the last name for somepony.
Lady: Who?
Bartholomew: I don't know, but I'm sure a movie will be created about him sometime in the future. Many movie companies are creative you know.
Lady: Right.
Skywalker: Hey, did you forget about me?
Lady: Of course not.
Skywalker: Good, because my train got derailed further up the line. Be careful.
Lady: Who do you think you are, Casey Jones?
Skywalker: Maybe I am. You got a problem with that?
Porters: *Finish unloading mail*
Master Sword: All aboard!
Lady: We'll argue again later. *Blows whistle twice, and drives away*
Skywalker: *Lands on station* Hey, I need help getting my train back on the tracks.
Porters: We're porters, not a breakdown gang.
Skywalker: Well get the breakdown gang so they can get my train back on the tracks.
Porters: Right. *Go inside to talk on telephone*

Getting to Albany took five hours. When we arrived, Lady, and I had to return to Harmon.

Lady: Now this is where we learn how to drive the diesel.
Bartholomew: Oh boy.
Lady: Relax. This will be very easy. *Gets in engine*
Bartholomew: *Gets in engine*
Lady: Now the ponies previously using this locomotive were kind enough to leave this running for us, and we can get out of here quicker.
Bartholomew: Oh, good. So what do I do?
Lady: It's simple really. We just pull this lever, and our engine moves. Very simple, and not as complicated as driving the steam train.
Bartholomoew: Right. So now what?
Lady: We go back to Harmon. Well actually, you have to go back to Manehattan.
Bartholomew: Oh yes, you're correct.
Lady: *Drives diesel* We're gonna have to back up on a freight, and stop at Harmon. A commuter train will take you back to Manehattan.
Bartholomew: How long do these commuters run for?
Lady: Every hour on the hour.
Bartholomew: That's what I call excellent service.
Lady: But who would ride a train at midnight?
Bartholomew: Gangsters.
Lady: Don't remind me.
Bartholomew: You have trouble with them here?
Lady: Yes.
Bartholomew: So did I when I was on the Union Pacific. However, I didn't encounter them as much as anypony else did, but one nearly killed my boss. However, he just remained calm, got in the locomotive, and drove away.
Lady: He must be really brave.

All the way from Albany into Harmon, we talked about gangsters.

Bartholomew: *Gets out of engine* Thanks for everything Lady.
Lady: No problem. I hope I see you tomorrow.
Bartholomew: I hope we work together again tomorrow as well. That was fun.
Lady: Oh, I'm sure we will.

I got on the train, and rode back to Manehattan. The CEO was waiting for me.

Bartholomew: *Gets out of train*
CEO: Well, what did you think?
Bartholomew: It was good. I enjoyed it.
CEO: Good. We hope you enjoy working for us for a long time.
Bartholomew: With pleasure.

I went to the front of Grand Central Station, got in a taxi, and went to my apartment. Today went well, and I was looking forward to tomorrow.

The End

---

Theme song: link

Seanthehedgehog Presents

Bartholomew

Starring

Bartholomew Perfect the 55th from Seanthehedgehog

Lady from CrazyWriterLady

Master Sword from Windwakerguy430

Skywalker from Alinah09

Whirl Wind from DragonAura15

Ten Cents, and Henrietta from Seanthehedgehog

Episode 2

Master Sword's perspective

July 1, 1953

Master Sword is narrating.

I joined the Neigh York Central two weeks ago. Then, a few days later, another new worker joins us. He's fifty one years old, and wears a monocle. He seems like a nice pony, but I don't think he should be driving a train, but our CEO doesn't know that.

Anyway, a week after Bartholomew joined, we get yet another new worker. I was just waiting for a train to get on when she appeared.

Master Sword: *Sitting on bench*
Bartholomew: *Driving commuter train towards station*
Master Sword: *Sees train*
Bartholomew: *Stops train*
Master Sword: *Sees Bartholomew* Good morning.
Bartholomew: Hi Master Sword. How are you?
Master Sword: Fine. I heard we have a new worker. Where is he?
Bartholomew: You mean she.
Master Sword: She?
Whirl Wind: *Gets out of train* Hi, I'm a conductor.
Master Sword: I thought we had too many of those.
Whirl Wind: We did, but one of them got killed in an accident.
Master Sword: How.. Nice to know.
Whirl Wind: Anyway, this is all for you to conduct. I have to get on another train heading back to Grand Central.
Master Sword: Okay, cool.
Bartholomew: *Uncouples electric locomotive, and drives it to servicing facility* It's a good thing this facility is near the station. I don't have to drive too far.
Lady: *Drives Hudson backwards onto passenger train*
Master Sword: *Seeing Whirl Wind getting on train* Best of luck to you.

While I was watching Whirl Wind getting on the train, I didn't notice Bartholomew walked up to me.

Bartholomew: I'm back.
Master Sword: I noticed.
Bartholomew: Is everything alright? You look like you're blushing.
Master Sword: I think I might be falling in love.

The train Whirl Wind was getting on was heading into Grand Central. I had to be on a train going to Albany.

Lady: Master Sword, hurry up!
Master Sword: I'm getting on. *Gets on*
Lady: *Drives train*
Bartholomew: If Master Sword likes the new worker, I could help him ask her out on a date.
Henrietta: *Walks up to Bartholomew* I believe we haven't met before.
Bartholomew: The CEO of this line told me about you. They showed me your picture, but they didn't tell me your name.
Henrietta: It's Henrietta.
Bartholomew: And you're my boss?
Henrietta: Yes.
Bartholomew: I didn't think mares could be the boss of something.
Henrietta: No, that's for African Equestrians, or negros.
Bartholomew: Negro?
Henrietta: That's another name for somepony that's black.
Bartholomew: Lady is black, and she's not an African Equestrian.
Henrietta: That's because she's unfortunately a doppleganger. If she wasn't a good engineer, I'd have her killed.
Bartholomew: I understand.
Henrietta: Now, there's somepony I'd like you to meet. He works on our tracks, and is british, just like you.
Bartholomew: Interesting. When does he get here?
Ten Cents: Right now.
Henrietta: Bartholomew, meet Ten Cents.
Ten Cents: Pleasure to meet you.
Bartholomew: Likewise.
Ten Cents: What's your job on here?
Bartholomew: Engineer.
Ten Cents: Cool. What train are you waiting for?
Bartholomew: The Empire State Express. It should arrive in a few minutes.
Lady: Well, I'm gonna let you two get acquainted. I need to sign some papers. *Goes to office*
Ten Cents: She's a nice pony, but much of the time, she's strict.
Bartholomew: It's better to have a strict boss, then to have one that's careless.
Ten Cents: I know what you mean.
Bartholomew: Do you know anything about love?
Ten Cents: I know some things that got me a special somepony. Why?
Bartholomew: It's about a friend of mine.

While Bartholomew was explaining to Ten Cents, I was thinking on how to ask Whirl Wind out.

Master Sword: *Standing by door*
Passenger: Excuse me sir, do you know when we'll reach the next station?
Master Sword: The next station is Peekskill. We should arrive in five to ten minutes.
Passenger: Thank you.
Master Sword: Hey, can I ask you a question?
Passenger: What?
Master Sword: What would a mare want from a stallion?
Passenger: Love, and occasionally some gifts.
Master Sword: Like what?
Passenger: Chocolate, or maybe a love letter with twenty dollars for her.
Master Sword: That's good. Thank you.

I now knew what I was going to give to Whirl Wind next time I saw her.

On the next day, I arrived at the station with a box of chocolates, and a love letter.

Master Sword: *Waiting for Whirl Wind*
Ten Cents: *Arrives* What's with those chocolates?
Master Sword: They're all for Whirl Wind.
Ten Cents: You know, Bartholomew was gonna try to get you two to in love.
Master Sword: What did you tell him?
Ten Cents: I told him that he should tell her nice things about you. Where is Bartholomew anyway?
Master Sword: He's coming from Grand Central Station. You know how crowded that station is.
Ten Cents: Oh yes. I saw somepony getting pushed on the floor. It was terrible.

A commuter train pulled by a small electric locomotive can be seen getting towards us. Bartholomew is back in town.

Bartholomew: *Stops train*
Henrietta: *Arrives* For me?
Master Sword: *Sees gifts* For Whirl Wind.
Henrietta: Oh.
Lady: Ma'am, I feel sick. Can I take the day off?
Henrietta: No. You may not.
Lady: Ugh! *Walks away*
Henrietta: Serves you right for being a doppleganger!
Ten Cents: What don't you like about dopplegangers?
Henrietta: Everything.
Bartholomew: Right, well I'm going to uncouple my engine, and let Lady back onto it with her engines. *Uncouples engine*
Henrietta: Make sure you get that thing into the servicing facility.
Bartholomew: I got it. *drives to servicing facility*

Another train coming all the way from Chicagoat arrived. Whirl Wind got on the train from Albany, and was on there right now. I had to play it cool.

Master Sword: *Stays still*
Ten Cents: Master? Did you freeze or something?
Master Sword: Yes, I froze.
Ten Cents: Why?
Master Sword: Because, I'm playing it cooooool.
Henrietta: Good luck Master Sword.
Bartholomew: *Sees Whirl Wind* Oh no! What will Master Sword do if I don't help him?
Whirl Wind: *Walks to Master Sword* Good morning.
Master Sword: Hi. *Gives chocolates, and love letters to Whirl Wind*
Whirl Wind: Are these really for me?
Master Sword: Yeah. I bought them myself, and I hope you enjoy them.
Whirl Wind: Well, thank you.
Bartholomew: *Stops engine at servicing facility* Now, to help out Master Sword*
Whirl Wind: What movie do you want to see?
Master Sword: I heard High Noon is good.
Whirl Wind: I don't like anything filmed in black, and white. How about Stalag 17? That's a new movie.
Master Sword: Sure.
Bartholomew: *Arrives* Don't worry Master Sword, I will help you ask Whirl Wind out now.
Master Sword: Ah, don't worry about it Bart. I got it, but thanks for trying to help anyway.
Bartholomew: Oh. *Blushes* Carry on.

Later that night, I got to see a great movie with Whirl Wind, who soon became my special somepony.

I guess after reading the ending, you could say there's a lesson to learn from this. It's a good thing to help out your friends, but sometimes, if necessary, you should only help them if they ask for you to help.

The End

Song: link

Sean: More Sinatra? This song is actually my favorite.
Liam: Thank you for watching our show everyone. Because of St. Patrick's Day, we will take next Saturday off. We'll be back on the 24th.
posted by Windwakerguy430


Remember when I talked about Dead Rising 2 and said that I liked it just a little less than Dead Rising 1? Well now it is time for me to finally talk about why I like Dead Rising 1 more. And I am aware of the technical flaws of Dead Rising compared to the sequel, but everything else, the feel, the stuff around it, it just captivates me more.
You play as Frank West, a cocky news reporter who has covered wars, ya know. He travels to Willamette, Colorado during a mysterious outbreak. There, Frank comes across agents from the Department of Homeland Security, Brad and Jessie, who are searching...
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posted by Windwakerguy430
Wind: (Sitting at a park bench)
James: Hey, Wind
Wind: What do you want, James?
James: I just came for a walk, and you were here
Wind: Bullshit. You were looking for me
James: Okay, I was. Did you see that protest in town
Wind: Protest?
James: Yeah, this one with this one crazy woman
Wind: Crazy? Oh boy, what is it this time?

Alana: It is time we stop letting men step all over us
Wind: Who the fuck is that
James: I think she said her name was Alana Sedgwickson. She’s pretty messed up
Wind: How so?
Alana: We need to stop shaming anyone and everyone who is against homosexuality, blacks, women, and anyone...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Theme song >>>> link

Seanthehedgehog presents

Ponies On The Rails

Starring

Peirce Hawkins "Hawkeye" from Seanthehedgehog

Coffee Creme from KarinaBrony

Snowflake & Orion from Alinah09

Metal Gloss from DragonAura15

Gordon, Percy, Jeff, Bartholomew, and Pete from Seanthehedgehog

And Featuring Stylo from Jimmythedragon

Episode 20

Another Way To Lie

January 7, 1953

It was a snowy day in Cheyenne. Everypony was working their hardest. Except Gordon. He was being very lazy, and refused to get a train out of the station.

Pete: Why won't you work this time?
Gordon: Because, I need help...
continue reading...
You know, I already made a list of those horrible people who will gladly take the lives of others… So I thought why not talk about more of them. I don’t know why, but it seems that video games and murderers seem to go together in a very insane puzzle. So today, we will talk about ten more video game murderers. First, the rules. Only from games that I have played and only one game per franchise. Also, I am not going to include the same killers from the last list, in order to avoid being redundant. And lastly, neither Trevor from GTA V or Vaas from Far Cry 3 will be on this list. Vaas has...
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Song (Start at 4:28): link

Kevin: *Leading a dancing line with Liam, Mr. Nut, Wayne, Miss. Heart, Tom Foolery, Master Sword, and Saten Twist*
Ian: I wish I could join, but being a train, I'd probably go too fast, and run them over. Now, time for those back to back episodes of Gran Turismo.

What to expect in this episode.

Twilight Sparkle: *In a black convertible with two Royal Guards. A bullet hits the door of the convertible they're in*
Royal Guard: Princess, get down!

---

Captain Jefferson: Someone tried to assassinate the princess as she entered our town.

---

Twilight: Why would somepony want...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog

Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see. Pingas
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see. Pingas

Mordecai & Rigby were watching TV, when a commercial came on.

Rigby: Aw, really?
Mordecai: Screw this.
Rigby: Hold up! There's a commercial for a videogame!!
Man: Now available in stores is an all new Sonic The Hedgehog game, that has all the sonic games in one disc!
Mordecai: Awesome.
Man: You can play up to 45 characters in any game.
Rigby: I want this!!!
Man: Only available in Canada!
Mordecai: WHAT?!!?
Man: Sonic Forever! Rated Everyone 10, and up.
Rigby: How could it be only available in Canada? That's 200 miles from here!
Mordecai:...
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So about a while back, like two years ago, I reviewed The Hills Have Eyes 2009 remake. I thought it was alright. Disgusting as hell and stupid at times, but an enjoyable movie. And that’s when I remembered it’s a remake. I knew there was a film remade, but what I didn’t know is that the original film was created by Wes Craven, who made Nightmare on Elm Street. Despite that, this movie was made a few years before Nightmare on Elm Street. Is it as good as Wes Craven’s other classics or is it best forgotten? Let’s found out.



The film follows a small American suburban town called...
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Song: link

Percy: *Building a snowman with Kevin*
S.B: *Throws a snowball at Gordon*
Gordon: Hey!
S.B: Come on, it's a snowball fight.
Orion: *Crashes a model train into a hotel*
Liam: Hey, if you want to have fun crashing stuff, play Train Simulator.
Orion: Alright.
Liam: Liam here from The Nut House. Welcome to Sean's Spectacular Saturday of Stories. I have created tonight's schedule for you.

8 PM - Now

Ponies On The Rails
Trainz

8:30 PM - Later

Bartholomew - Back to back

Liam: Bartholomew Perfect the 55th from Ponies On The Rails got his own spin off. This should be fun to watch, but first, Ponies On...
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posted by Windwakerguy430
Standing, in the darkness.
Alone, with only your dreams.
Or rather.
Your nightmares.
Could they be fiction?
Or your own reality?

Chestnut Pines, Washington. A small town out from the lively cities and locations of the country. A town of dying business and abandoned homes. It gets by, but barely thriving. It’s a simple town, but that will change. A nightmare is coming into the town. Nobody will suspect it, and when they do, it may be too late. This is a year of something dark. What will happen? What choices will be made? Will they be for the best, or will they go wrong. The choice is up to you,...
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Song (Start at 2:25): link

Oliver: This is it. We ain't gonna be around no more.
Rosie: I'll miss all of you.
Shayne: You still have time to be here. You're last episode will be playing after Ponies On The Rails.
Oliver: Oh.
Rosie: Okay.
Shayne: Welcome back, or welcome for those of you just joining us. I'm Shayne from Trainz, and I'm hosting Sean's Spectacular Saturday of Stories tonight. Let's get those stories rolling on our second half of the show with Ponies On The Rails.

Theme song >>>> link

Seanthehedgehog presents

Ponies On The Rails

Starring

Peirce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog...
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posted by Windwakerguy430
Teacher: And that kids is how Hitler lost the war
Wind: Can we learn about something in history that isn’t Hitler for once
Teacher: No, now sit down
(The bell rings)
Teacher: Okay class, we’ll continue tomorrow
Wind: Hopefully I can get hit by a truck before then
(The class leaves)
Teacher: (Waits for them to leave before taking a flask out of his desk and drinking from it)

Teacher: (Drives home) I swear, those kids don’t have any appreciation for history or even their fellow man (Hits the breaks as a person drives out in front of him) Watch where you’re driving you fucking asshole! (Continues...
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posted by Windwakerguy430
Therapist: You honestly believe that everyone around you is a waste of space
Wind: Exactly
Therapist: Have you ever thought that maybe it is you who is the problem
Wind: Let me check (Looks outside and sees a group of guys writing a penis on the whiteboard)
Wind: Nope. It is definitely the rest of the world
(A clock rings)
Therapist: (Under breath) Oh thank god (To Wind) Looks like we’re out of time today. Same time next week?
Wind: Bite me (Walks out)
Hannah: So, how is the therapy working
Wind: Fuck off, Hannah. You’re the reason I had to talk to the school therapist in the first place
Hannah:...
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posted by Windwakerguy430
The Richardsons
(Applause)
Starring Howard
Howard: (Hearing clapping, as he looks up from his newspaper)
Wendy
Wendy: (Startled from the clapping)
Oscar
Oscar: (Looks around his bedroom as he hears clapping)
Megan
Megan: (Takes off her headphones to hear the clapping)
And Bob
Bob: (Smiles)

The Richardsons is filmed in front of a live studio audience
(70’s sitcom music plays)
(Camera zooms in on a decrepit house with boarded doors and windows)
(Everyone sitting at the breakfast table, looking as if they are crazy)
Wendy: Howard, what are we gonna-
Howard: Quiet. If we don’t talk, they won’t...
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posted by Windwakerguy430
Master Sword was born in Manehatten. He was always cared for by his mother, but his father, being a drunkard, a cheater, and a poor parent, had never liked him. His father would always insult him, hit him, and call him gay, because he never had a girlfriend in school. However, he always cared about Sword's brother, Chimney Sweep, who always wanted to be better than Sword, and he always did one up Master Sword in everything he did. Cookie Crumb, Master Sword's young sister, always cared about him, just like his mother, but was always scared of him when he got angry. Due to how Master Sword was...
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Craig Armstrong: For those who don't know. He's the voice of the famish Dan..

Max Gilmardi: It's one of the many reasons I love Spike in pony,mov. I tried watching more of his videos,, but his only one I laughed at is, "Little Jerry and the closet".. (I also love his name for some reason).

Daniel Baxter: (How it should of ended)

Seth Macfarlene:

Greg: (Voice of the mentally advanced series)

Shia LaBeouf:

Ned Luke: (Micheal De Santa)

Rob Weithoff: (John Marston)

Jane Lynch: Not kidding when I say. I hope she ends up appearing in my little pony. Though I don't see it ever happening..

Mrawkwardreviewer:


There's obviously more.. But it'll go on and on forever..
added by Seanthehedgehog
I'm so fresh you can suck my nuts.
video
music
the
comedy
games
nintendo
video
the
music
comedy
added by Seanthehedgehog
I hope there's a reference to American Graffiti
video
the
music
comedy
games
posted by Windwakerguy430
Wind: (Sitting in class with the other students) So what’s all this about?
Cody: Well, it’s Veteran’s Day. I think the school had something planned
Administrator: Alright, students, listen up. In honor of Veteran’s Day, we have a two very special guests with us. First, let me introduce you to Thomas Reynolds
(A man walks into the classroom, carrying an oxygen tank with him)
Administrator: He’s a World War II veteran who fought in Germany. It’s amazing he was able to survive. Anything you want to discuss, Mr. Reynolds
Thomas Reynolds: (Takes a breathe from his oxygen mask) I just want...
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