Edward and Carlisle in a hospital approx. 107 years ago. Edward dying in the bed. Carlisle walks over.
Carlisle: You ready?
Edward: For what?
Carlisle takes his wrist and bites him
Carlisle: For the wicked awesome parody!!
Edward yelps and pulls away
Edward: What the fuck! I thought you were a doctor!!
Carlisle frowns and bites him on the neck, Edward starts flinching in pain, and the screen goes blank. Twilight is born flashes across the screen followed by three days later. Edward waking up confused remembers being bitten and sees Carlisle standing over him, Edward frowns gets up, and hits Carlisle across the face
Edward: That’s for biting me, Old men shouldn’t touch your children, especially boys, It looks wrong!!
Carlisle: I just saved you from death!!
Edward: You bit me!! Do you know how hard that is to cover up?
Carlisle: are you an idiot!?!?! I just saved your life!
Edward: Wait, you saved my life….Awkward
Carlisle: You’re a vampire; you should be thankful, great way to get the ladies
Edward: Awesome! (Runs away yelling) Yay, I’m immortal!!
Edward and Carlisle in a hospital approx. 107 years ago. Edward dying in the bed. Carlisle walks over.
Carlisle: You ready?
Edward: For what?
Carlisle takes his wrist and bites him
Carlisle: For the wicked awesome parody!!
Edward yelps and pulls away
Edward: What the fuck! I thought you were a doctor!!
Carlisle frowns and bites him on the neck, Edward starts flinching in pain, and the screen goes blank. Twilight is born flashes across the screen followed by three days later. Edward waking up confused remembers being bitten and sees Carlisle standing over him, Edward frowns gets up, and hits Carlisle across the face
Edward: That’s for biting me, Old men shouldn’t touch your children, especially boys, It looks wrong!!
Carlisle: I just saved you from death!!
Edward: You bit me!! Do you know how hard that is to cover up?
Carlisle: are you an idiot!?!?! I just saved your life!
Edward: Wait, you saved my life….Awkward
Carlisle: You’re a vampire; you should be thankful, great way to get the ladies
Edward: Awesome! (Runs away yelling) Yay, I’m immortal!!
Bella: about 3 things I was positive, First Edward was a vampire *drool* second um he’s a hot vampire! And third I am in love with him oh and (whispers) he wants my blood, so worth it though, he hot!!
Bella arriving in Forks meeting Charlie
Bella: Wow, I can totally see why my mother left you, I mean god, and seriously you let yourself go
Charlie: Okay I love you too, let’s go I guess
Both get into the car
Bella: so this is my room
Charlie: Yeah, this is your room, kind of obvious since it’s been yours since you were little.
Bella: Gosh trying to make conversation here dad,
Charlie: Well I have to go, kitchens downstairs you’ll be making dinner, got to earn your keep, Bathrooms to the right…
Bella’s jaw drops open: Wait, what only one bathroom!?!?! We can’t share, I’m a girl!!
Charlie: and I own this house, I only have and need one bathroom, you’ll live through this (Charlie’s voice slowly rising)
Bella: *gasps* Mom let me have my own bathroom!!
Charlie: Do I look like your mother?
Bella: Well you do have boobs---
Charlie: Okay, I have to go! (Walks out of the room quickly and slams the door behind him)
Bella in her room later unpacking, picks up her laptop, and signs into her email.
Bella reading her email out loud: Dear Bella, its mom—wow mom couldn’t have figured that out—why haven’t you emailed me!?!?! I’m worried; I can’t do anything before I hear from you, anyways I have to go--- but you just said that you couldn’t do anything without hearing from me, whatever--- Phil just go home, wicked smiley face going to go have fun—wow that’s disgusting!---Please email me soon, love mom
Bella starts writing back to her mother
Bella: Dear mom, it’s raining, I’m good, got to good, love Bella
Bella turns off her laptop and goes to bed muttering it’s so green
Bella sees her new car, which is actually a very old truck, and Jacob walks out.
Bella: wow…
Charlie: Don’t you love it! I thought it was perfect!
Bella: (Mumbles) thanks dad
Charlie: what do you think? Perfect eh? (Smiling)
Bella: (sounding sarcastic) OMG! I am going to be the envy of my class with this
Jacob: I rebuilt the engine myself
Bella: Wow, um how’s’ the gas mileage?
Jacob; haven’t thought of it, want to go for a ride?
Bella: Sure, I’ll drive though (slips in front to go for the driver’s seat)
Jacob: What makes you think I’m not old enough to drive?
Bella: The lights on your shoes
Jacob: What they’re cool it shows when I’m walking (smiles)
Bella climbs into the vehicle; Jacob gets in on the other side, but not before Bella hits him with the truck door
Bella: God, smells like beer and cigarettes in here, what did you do in here?
Jacob: Excuse me? And I thought you were polite
Bella: sorry, its just wow… Gross
Jacob: This was Billy’s car by the way, not mine, complain to him
Bella: He looks like he could kill me, no thank you! (Crosses arms over chest)
Jacob: And I don’t? (Grins showing all teeth)
Bella: when you do that you look like a pedophile. Please stop
Jacob: (snickers and whispers) I have puppies in my car and if you don’t like puppies I have candy in my car
Bella: My car, my rules, gets out (Pushes Jacob)
Jacob: No one lets me have any fun, (mumbles as he is getting out of the truck)
Bella: will I see you at school tomorrow?
Jacob: NO
Bella: OH, you skip? Rebel without a cause (smiles)
Jacob: No, I go to school on the res.
Bella: Oh, okay see you when I see you then (walks into the house)
Bella walk s out of a classroom and Mike follows her and starts up a conversation
Mike: Hey, um what’s up? (Drapes arm over Bella shoulder)
Bella: what are you doing?!?!?
Mike: Making sure everyone knows
Bella: Knows what?
Both walk into the cafeteria.
Mike: That your mine
Bella: GROSS (gets away and sits by 2 girls)
Bella: Hi, I’m Bella and you are?
Angela: I’m Angela, and this is Jessica, we know all about you want to sit with us, cause that would be nice, and I think that we will make really good friends and
Jessica: Sorry for Angela when she gets nervous she talks and can’t shut up (giggles and Angela glares)
Bella suddenly stares up hearing music: Who are they?!?!(Staring at the Cullen’s walking in)
Jessica: That’s the Cullen’s
Angela: The big one is Emmett and the blonde one is Rosalie (said as Emmet and Rosalie come and sit down)
Jessica: the gorgeous one---
Angela: who looks in pain---
Jessica: Is Jasper, and the cat on his side is Alice, so ADORABLE!!(Said as Alice and jasper walk in)
Angela: and that hunk is Edward (Said as Edward walks in)
Bella: Do you hear music it started when the Cullen’s came in
Jessica: Maybe they are so cool they get their own theme music
Angela: No, sorry (pulls out cell phone) that’s my ring tone, got to take this (walks away)
Jessica (mumbling): Liked my idea better
Cafeteria the next day, you see The Cullen’s walking in jasper in pain, Alice grabbing onto him, followed by Emmet and Rosalie. Rosalie glares at Bella flips her hair and walks and trips.
Rosalie: Damn it, not again!!
Emmett: Calm down, Rose, it’s not the end of the world!
Rosalie: Damn Heels (takes off heels and throws them)
Emmett runs and grabs them helps Rosalie up and walks to the table, Alice snickers and Rosalie glares at her.
Edward randomly comes up to Bella and pushes her
Bella: what the hell was that for?
Edward: Um the car (looks around to try to point to the car that he thought was going to hit her) DAMN IT ALICE!!
Alice Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett all giggling
Edward: You said it was going to hit her, you little midget! Damn it Alice seriously!!
Edward walks away from Bella’s side, and a car hits her
Edward: ALICE!
Alice: I didn’t say which car was going to hit her…
Edward runs over to help Bella
Bella and Edward walking in the hallway
Edward: so what made you come to Forks?
Bella: well my mother married Phil
Edward: Sure you can’t go somewhere else?
Bella: and she was sad staying with me-
Edward: I know this great island no one would look for you there
Bella: So I came to live with my dad
Edward: No one could hear you scream (sounding like he is thinking of something)
Bella: It’s weird with my father though.
Edward: you aren’t paying attention are you?
Bella: We only have one bathroom which sucks since-
Edward: I want to kill you and drink all of your blood
Bella:-I’m a girl
Edward: I never noticed that
Bella: Whoa, totally not paying attention what did you say?
Edward: I said that’s interesting.
Mike with Bella in the cafeteria
Mike: Hey Bella
Bella: Hey Mike
Mike: Bella wanna come to La Push beach with me and some friends this weekend?
Bella: Sorry can’t leave the continental U.S
Mike: What?
Bella: Can’t go to France (sounding impatient)
Mike: I mean La Push, the reservation
Bella: Oh Um, sure
Mike: and Cullen can’t come
Bella: Why?
Mike: They have a thing against the Cullen’s, smartest thing they’ve ever said
Bella walking up to Edward later.
Bella: Hey, wanna come to La Push with me this weekend?
Edward: The reservation?
Bella: God, does everyone know that but me?
Edward raises an eyebrow at Bella.
Bella whispering: I thought it was France.
Edward: I really can’t sorry; we have a thing against La Push people.
Bella: We?
Cullen’s turn up (Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper)
Alice: yes we(smiles)
Bella: Hi, I don’t think we’ve met before
Rosalie mumbling: Smells like wet dog at La Push *giggle* wonder why-
Emmett elbows Rosalie
Edward steps in front of the other Cullen’s
Edward: Bella obviously I’m the best thing out of that gene pool, so lets go.
All of the other Cullen’s jaws drop.
Edward: They aren’t important
Edward wraps his arm around Bella and pulls her away:
Bella laughing: I know what you are
Edward: Say it.
Bella giggles: Superhero
Edward: Excuse me?
Bella: Sorry, vampire.
Edward: First thing you got right in a while.
Bella: So how old are you? 17? Sexy.
Edward: But I’m only 16
Bella: Shut up, it’s better for the storyline if your 17
Bella: So how long have you been 17?
Edward: *cough 16 *cough over a hundred years
Bella backing away slowly: Wow, total pedophile.
Edward: Hey, you shouldn’t judge people, I know what you do alone at night- cause I watch you
Bella: wait, you watch me
Edward: Umm, yeah about that, why are you screaming my name at night? Seriously, I’m not a one ladies man, I’m a ladies and mans man
Bella: What?
Edward: Hey don’t want anyone to be lonely-Excuse Me.
Bella Smiles
Edward: But now you should know why we are dangerous
Edward walks into the sunlight.
Edward: are you scared?
Bella: No, not really why you sparkle you think that’s scary?
Edward rips open his shirt
Edward: this is what we look like in the sunlight! I am an ugly creature! Look upon evil
Bella laughs as she sees Edward glittering
Bella: Damn it Edward, that’s the last shirt I am going to buy you if you keep ripping it up like that.
Edward appears at Bella’s house.
Edward: Hey Bella
Edward sees Bella sleeping
Edward: Bella GET UP BELLA!!(Banging pots and pans)
Bella: What the…?
Edward: BELLA!
Bella: WHAT
Bella sits up furious
Edward: Want to come to my home?
Bella throws a pillow at him
Bella: Go BACK TO BED
Edward: Ouch, I’m hurt you know I can’t sleep and anyways I’m not leaving until I get an answer…
Bella: Fine! Now GET OUT! Charlie might hear you!
Edward taps his head: This will tell you if he hears us, anyways he has iron ears
Bella confused: Your forehead?
Edward: What no, I can read minds
Bella: Since WHEN?!?!
Edward: Bella I thought you knew this, some vampire have special abilities-
Bella: NO WAY!
Edward: Yes, in my family. Jasper, Alice, and I have powers. Jasper messes up your emotions, Alice sees the future, and I read minds
Bella: whoa
Edward: Do I need to show you with pictures?
Edward bringing Bella into his house, sees Emmett and Rosalie talking pulls Bella back and Shh’s her, they look in and hear Rosalie’s and Emmett’s conversation.
Emmet munching on gummy bear: yum I love irritable grizzly bears” smiles
Rosalie: umm Emmet you do realize they aren’t grizzly bears right?
Emmet: yeah, but they are bears (said in a obvious sounding voice)
Rosalie: they aren’t even irritable, they are smiling and bright colours, and HOW ARE YOU EATING THEM? YOU’RE A VAMPIRE!
Emmet: yeah, I know, but I love catching them they are so hard to find
Rosalie: Emmet you just go to the store and buy them duh!!
Emmet: I don’t say out loud things you don’t want to hear so why do you say things that hurt so much
Rosalie: Pfft
Emmet: AT LEAST I DON”T HAVE TO DYE MY HAIR BLONDE!!! Oh, was that a secret
Rosalie gets up and walks away pissed, sees Edward, and Bella Giggling their asses off, she glares at them both before walking away
Esme walking in: Hello Bella, come and meet the family
Esme pulls Bella into the kitchen
Esme: This is my husband Carlisle
Carlisle: Hello Bella, nice to meet you, Edward has told us so much about you
Bella: I hope not any bad things.
Esme: This is Emmett (Points to Emmett)
Emmett: Hey Bella, Um Sorry about Rosalie
Bella: It’s no problem
Esme: And this is Alice and Jasper
Alice: Hello Bella, Oh Wait, (sounding angry) Edward now can I talk to her?
Edward: Yes
Alice: Oh Bella, I know we are going to be Great Friends don’t worry about Rosalie she’ll come around
Esme: Alice! And this is Jasper
Jasper: Pleasure to meet you Bella
Carlisle: So Bella, care to play baseball with my family?
Bella: SO Edward, when are we playing baseball?
Edward: We have to wait for the storm
Bella: Storm?
Edward: You’ll see why we need the storm later.
Later in the Cullen’s living room, you see them all warming up and getting ready to play
Bella: Are we going?
Carlisle: Bella, we play right here?
Bella: Um then why do we need the storm?
Alice: Emmett likes his vocabulary of curse words.
They turn on the T.V. and start to play Wii Baseball.
Esme: Bella, you can be Ref.
Bella: How do you cheat with Wii Baseball?
Esme: They do watch
They start playing the game, you hear Emmett yelling, Emmett’s on the couch climbing
Rosalie: That’s my monkey man
You hear a knock on the door. Carlisle goes and gets it.
Carlisle: Hello
Laurent: Hello, we are looking for a place to stay
Carlisle: Of course, come inside
Laurent: This is Victoria (Pointing to Victoria) and James? Where did he go?
Victoria: Damn it, I know I should have put a bell on that boy.
James: IN HERE!
They all turn around to see James in the living Room
James Sniffing Bella: Smells Delicious
Edward: Bella and I were just leaving
Edward pulls Bella out of the house, and throws her into his car.
Bella and Edward in the car.
Edward: Bella… Damn you! I knew you smelt to good, Screw it, I’m eating you.
Bella: What?
Edward: Joking! But seriously Alice is taking you away.
Bella: Alright, god lion and lamb much, and so the lion fell in love with the lamb
Edward: Wait, I want to be the cute little lamb, why do I have to be the lion?
Bella: Because you’re the vampire…
Edward: So you’re a man eater, and I don’t bring that up every five minutes GOD! Now go to Alice, and Jasper.
Bella: Sorry I’m going
Bella gets out of the car and goes off with Alice and Jasper.
Alice, Jasper and Bella in a hotel room
Alice: So Bella…
Bella: So Alice, what’s up?
Alice: I got to ask you to leave, Jasper and I agreed that you got to go
Bella: Where?
Alice: Come On, just go to James, I dare you
Bella: Ah
Alice: Double dog dare
Jasper: Triple Dog Dare
Bella: Damn now I have to do it
Bella walks out and slams the door
Bella goes to the Ballet Studio
James: Wow, my snacks here (claps hands)
Bella: So how are we going to do this?
James: Well I’m going to video tape this and then give it to Edward and Um.. OMG do you think I can post this on YouTube
Bella: No I think you should choose Americas funniest home videos, wait is that show still on the air?
James: Um I don’t know, I thought the guy died!!
Bella: So
James: Yup, I’m going to kill you
The Cullen’s burst in, after James pushes Bella to the floor. The Cullen’s walk closer to James and Bella, and James bites Bella. Bella Screaming on the floor
Edward: Bella SHUT UP! I’m trying to deal with James
James and the Cullen’s start fighting. They kick his ass and the scene fades.
Bella in the hospital with Edward by her side
Bella: Edward do you love me?
Edward: whoa, um about that, while you were unconscious I kind of hit it off with Jacob, nothing against you but, he keeps totally being an ass to me, and it totally turns me on, do you think if I asked him to go out with me he would say yes?
Bella: Ummm, he’s a dog, do you realize that, He isn’t really into the whole umm
Edward: what the gay thing Bella: WHAT!! No I meant the vampire thing, undead thing, kind of a turnoff for him since he hates your guts...
Edward: Aw man
Bella: And Edward wtf? Why are you wearing a Team Jacob button? I thought…
Edward: It’s so cool! Love it, with the cool scratch marks and…
Bella: Earth To Edward!!
The Prom scence, you see all the Cullen’s, and Angela, Jessica Mike, etc
Bella: Why did you bring me here?
Edward: Your dad paid me twenty bucks
Bella: damn him! He knows I can’t dance
Edward pulling out video camera: That’s why he asked me to tape it
Bella’s jaw drops
Bella: I thought it was more expensive to bribe you
Edward: Oh yeah I also get this camera, and he paid for this outfit
Bella mumbling: Didn’t pay for mine
Bella: Did he do anything else for you?
Edward: He got rid of my criminal record
Bella: What?
Edward: Just kidding.
Bella and Edward enter a secluded area; Jacob finds them and pulls Bella to the side.
Jacob: Bella, what are you doing with him (moves head in the direction of Edward)
Bella: He’s my date
Jacob: My dad paid me 20 bucks to tell you to stay away from the Cullen’s
Bella: Why is everyone being paid money for stuff involving me!
Jacob: Um yeah, so don’t be with Edward
Bella: Um
Edward: Edward is right here!
Jacob: It just got cold in here!
Edward: I’ve been standing here the whole time! The temperature can’t just drop
Jacob stamps his feet and walks off pissed.
Edward sarcastically: Yay, now we’re alone
Bella walks over to Edward
Edward: Whoa, um yeah I have a thing for Jacob sorry
Bella: Damn YOU!!
See Victoria walking down stairs angry undoing her hair and falling.
Cut to end credits and at the end you see one more scene. Edward is holding up the Twilight DVD case, and runs over to bella after putting it down.
Edward: I just saw the cover for the movie, and why the hell are you on the front you don’t even have any cool powers
Bella: well, I’m your love interest
Edward: Really?!?! I thought you’d be hotter
These are only excerpts. The whole thing is posted on this link: link
Credit to: link
Carlisle: You ready?
Edward: For what?
Carlisle takes his wrist and bites him
Carlisle: For the wicked awesome parody!!
Edward yelps and pulls away
Edward: What the fuck! I thought you were a doctor!!
Carlisle frowns and bites him on the neck, Edward starts flinching in pain, and the screen goes blank. Twilight is born flashes across the screen followed by three days later. Edward waking up confused remembers being bitten and sees Carlisle standing over him, Edward frowns gets up, and hits Carlisle across the face
Edward: That’s for biting me, Old men shouldn’t touch your children, especially boys, It looks wrong!!
Carlisle: I just saved you from death!!
Edward: You bit me!! Do you know how hard that is to cover up?
Carlisle: are you an idiot!?!?! I just saved your life!
Edward: Wait, you saved my life….Awkward
Carlisle: You’re a vampire; you should be thankful, great way to get the ladies
Edward: Awesome! (Runs away yelling) Yay, I’m immortal!!
Edward and Carlisle in a hospital approx. 107 years ago. Edward dying in the bed. Carlisle walks over.
Carlisle: You ready?
Edward: For what?
Carlisle takes his wrist and bites him
Carlisle: For the wicked awesome parody!!
Edward yelps and pulls away
Edward: What the fuck! I thought you were a doctor!!
Carlisle frowns and bites him on the neck, Edward starts flinching in pain, and the screen goes blank. Twilight is born flashes across the screen followed by three days later. Edward waking up confused remembers being bitten and sees Carlisle standing over him, Edward frowns gets up, and hits Carlisle across the face
Edward: That’s for biting me, Old men shouldn’t touch your children, especially boys, It looks wrong!!
Carlisle: I just saved you from death!!
Edward: You bit me!! Do you know how hard that is to cover up?
Carlisle: are you an idiot!?!?! I just saved your life!
Edward: Wait, you saved my life….Awkward
Carlisle: You’re a vampire; you should be thankful, great way to get the ladies
Edward: Awesome! (Runs away yelling) Yay, I’m immortal!!
Bella: about 3 things I was positive, First Edward was a vampire *drool* second um he’s a hot vampire! And third I am in love with him oh and (whispers) he wants my blood, so worth it though, he hot!!
Bella arriving in Forks meeting Charlie
Bella: Wow, I can totally see why my mother left you, I mean god, and seriously you let yourself go
Charlie: Okay I love you too, let’s go I guess
Both get into the car
Bella: so this is my room
Charlie: Yeah, this is your room, kind of obvious since it’s been yours since you were little.
Bella: Gosh trying to make conversation here dad,
Charlie: Well I have to go, kitchens downstairs you’ll be making dinner, got to earn your keep, Bathrooms to the right…
Bella’s jaw drops open: Wait, what only one bathroom!?!?! We can’t share, I’m a girl!!
Charlie: and I own this house, I only have and need one bathroom, you’ll live through this (Charlie’s voice slowly rising)
Bella: *gasps* Mom let me have my own bathroom!!
Charlie: Do I look like your mother?
Bella: Well you do have boobs---
Charlie: Okay, I have to go! (Walks out of the room quickly and slams the door behind him)
Bella in her room later unpacking, picks up her laptop, and signs into her email.
Bella reading her email out loud: Dear Bella, its mom—wow mom couldn’t have figured that out—why haven’t you emailed me!?!?! I’m worried; I can’t do anything before I hear from you, anyways I have to go--- but you just said that you couldn’t do anything without hearing from me, whatever--- Phil just go home, wicked smiley face going to go have fun—wow that’s disgusting!---Please email me soon, love mom
Bella starts writing back to her mother
Bella: Dear mom, it’s raining, I’m good, got to good, love Bella
Bella turns off her laptop and goes to bed muttering it’s so green
Bella sees her new car, which is actually a very old truck, and Jacob walks out.
Bella: wow…
Charlie: Don’t you love it! I thought it was perfect!
Bella: (Mumbles) thanks dad
Charlie: what do you think? Perfect eh? (Smiling)
Bella: (sounding sarcastic) OMG! I am going to be the envy of my class with this
Jacob: I rebuilt the engine myself
Bella: Wow, um how’s’ the gas mileage?
Jacob; haven’t thought of it, want to go for a ride?
Bella: Sure, I’ll drive though (slips in front to go for the driver’s seat)
Jacob: What makes you think I’m not old enough to drive?
Bella: The lights on your shoes
Jacob: What they’re cool it shows when I’m walking (smiles)
Bella climbs into the vehicle; Jacob gets in on the other side, but not before Bella hits him with the truck door
Bella: God, smells like beer and cigarettes in here, what did you do in here?
Jacob: Excuse me? And I thought you were polite
Bella: sorry, its just wow… Gross
Jacob: This was Billy’s car by the way, not mine, complain to him
Bella: He looks like he could kill me, no thank you! (Crosses arms over chest)
Jacob: And I don’t? (Grins showing all teeth)
Bella: when you do that you look like a pedophile. Please stop
Jacob: (snickers and whispers) I have puppies in my car and if you don’t like puppies I have candy in my car
Bella: My car, my rules, gets out (Pushes Jacob)
Jacob: No one lets me have any fun, (mumbles as he is getting out of the truck)
Bella: will I see you at school tomorrow?
Jacob: NO
Bella: OH, you skip? Rebel without a cause (smiles)
Jacob: No, I go to school on the res.
Bella: Oh, okay see you when I see you then (walks into the house)
Bella walk s out of a classroom and Mike follows her and starts up a conversation
Mike: Hey, um what’s up? (Drapes arm over Bella shoulder)
Bella: what are you doing?!?!?
Mike: Making sure everyone knows
Bella: Knows what?
Both walk into the cafeteria.
Mike: That your mine
Bella: GROSS (gets away and sits by 2 girls)
Bella: Hi, I’m Bella and you are?
Angela: I’m Angela, and this is Jessica, we know all about you want to sit with us, cause that would be nice, and I think that we will make really good friends and
Jessica: Sorry for Angela when she gets nervous she talks and can’t shut up (giggles and Angela glares)
Bella suddenly stares up hearing music: Who are they?!?!(Staring at the Cullen’s walking in)
Jessica: That’s the Cullen’s
Angela: The big one is Emmett and the blonde one is Rosalie (said as Emmet and Rosalie come and sit down)
Jessica: the gorgeous one---
Angela: who looks in pain---
Jessica: Is Jasper, and the cat on his side is Alice, so ADORABLE!!(Said as Alice and jasper walk in)
Angela: and that hunk is Edward (Said as Edward walks in)
Bella: Do you hear music it started when the Cullen’s came in
Jessica: Maybe they are so cool they get their own theme music
Angela: No, sorry (pulls out cell phone) that’s my ring tone, got to take this (walks away)
Jessica (mumbling): Liked my idea better
Cafeteria the next day, you see The Cullen’s walking in jasper in pain, Alice grabbing onto him, followed by Emmet and Rosalie. Rosalie glares at Bella flips her hair and walks and trips.
Rosalie: Damn it, not again!!
Emmett: Calm down, Rose, it’s not the end of the world!
Rosalie: Damn Heels (takes off heels and throws them)
Emmett runs and grabs them helps Rosalie up and walks to the table, Alice snickers and Rosalie glares at her.
Edward randomly comes up to Bella and pushes her
Bella: what the hell was that for?
Edward: Um the car (looks around to try to point to the car that he thought was going to hit her) DAMN IT ALICE!!
Alice Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett all giggling
Edward: You said it was going to hit her, you little midget! Damn it Alice seriously!!
Edward walks away from Bella’s side, and a car hits her
Edward: ALICE!
Alice: I didn’t say which car was going to hit her…
Edward runs over to help Bella
Bella and Edward walking in the hallway
Edward: so what made you come to Forks?
Bella: well my mother married Phil
Edward: Sure you can’t go somewhere else?
Bella: and she was sad staying with me-
Edward: I know this great island no one would look for you there
Bella: So I came to live with my dad
Edward: No one could hear you scream (sounding like he is thinking of something)
Bella: It’s weird with my father though.
Edward: you aren’t paying attention are you?
Bella: We only have one bathroom which sucks since-
Edward: I want to kill you and drink all of your blood
Bella:-I’m a girl
Edward: I never noticed that
Bella: Whoa, totally not paying attention what did you say?
Edward: I said that’s interesting.
Mike with Bella in the cafeteria
Mike: Hey Bella
Bella: Hey Mike
Mike: Bella wanna come to La Push beach with me and some friends this weekend?
Bella: Sorry can’t leave the continental U.S
Mike: What?
Bella: Can’t go to France (sounding impatient)
Mike: I mean La Push, the reservation
Bella: Oh Um, sure
Mike: and Cullen can’t come
Bella: Why?
Mike: They have a thing against the Cullen’s, smartest thing they’ve ever said
Bella walking up to Edward later.
Bella: Hey, wanna come to La Push with me this weekend?
Edward: The reservation?
Bella: God, does everyone know that but me?
Edward raises an eyebrow at Bella.
Bella whispering: I thought it was France.
Edward: I really can’t sorry; we have a thing against La Push people.
Bella: We?
Cullen’s turn up (Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper)
Alice: yes we(smiles)
Bella: Hi, I don’t think we’ve met before
Rosalie mumbling: Smells like wet dog at La Push *giggle* wonder why-
Emmett elbows Rosalie
Edward steps in front of the other Cullen’s
Edward: Bella obviously I’m the best thing out of that gene pool, so lets go.
All of the other Cullen’s jaws drop.
Edward: They aren’t important
Edward wraps his arm around Bella and pulls her away:
Bella laughing: I know what you are
Edward: Say it.
Bella giggles: Superhero
Edward: Excuse me?
Bella: Sorry, vampire.
Edward: First thing you got right in a while.
Bella: So how old are you? 17? Sexy.
Edward: But I’m only 16
Bella: Shut up, it’s better for the storyline if your 17
Bella: So how long have you been 17?
Edward: *cough 16 *cough over a hundred years
Bella backing away slowly: Wow, total pedophile.
Edward: Hey, you shouldn’t judge people, I know what you do alone at night- cause I watch you
Bella: wait, you watch me
Edward: Umm, yeah about that, why are you screaming my name at night? Seriously, I’m not a one ladies man, I’m a ladies and mans man
Bella: What?
Edward: Hey don’t want anyone to be lonely-Excuse Me.
Bella Smiles
Edward: But now you should know why we are dangerous
Edward walks into the sunlight.
Edward: are you scared?
Bella: No, not really why you sparkle you think that’s scary?
Edward rips open his shirt
Edward: this is what we look like in the sunlight! I am an ugly creature! Look upon evil
Bella laughs as she sees Edward glittering
Bella: Damn it Edward, that’s the last shirt I am going to buy you if you keep ripping it up like that.
Edward appears at Bella’s house.
Edward: Hey Bella
Edward sees Bella sleeping
Edward: Bella GET UP BELLA!!(Banging pots and pans)
Bella: What the…?
Edward: BELLA!
Bella: WHAT
Bella sits up furious
Edward: Want to come to my home?
Bella throws a pillow at him
Bella: Go BACK TO BED
Edward: Ouch, I’m hurt you know I can’t sleep and anyways I’m not leaving until I get an answer…
Bella: Fine! Now GET OUT! Charlie might hear you!
Edward taps his head: This will tell you if he hears us, anyways he has iron ears
Bella confused: Your forehead?
Edward: What no, I can read minds
Bella: Since WHEN?!?!
Edward: Bella I thought you knew this, some vampire have special abilities-
Bella: NO WAY!
Edward: Yes, in my family. Jasper, Alice, and I have powers. Jasper messes up your emotions, Alice sees the future, and I read minds
Bella: whoa
Edward: Do I need to show you with pictures?
Edward bringing Bella into his house, sees Emmett and Rosalie talking pulls Bella back and Shh’s her, they look in and hear Rosalie’s and Emmett’s conversation.
Emmet munching on gummy bear: yum I love irritable grizzly bears” smiles
Rosalie: umm Emmet you do realize they aren’t grizzly bears right?
Emmet: yeah, but they are bears (said in a obvious sounding voice)
Rosalie: they aren’t even irritable, they are smiling and bright colours, and HOW ARE YOU EATING THEM? YOU’RE A VAMPIRE!
Emmet: yeah, I know, but I love catching them they are so hard to find
Rosalie: Emmet you just go to the store and buy them duh!!
Emmet: I don’t say out loud things you don’t want to hear so why do you say things that hurt so much
Rosalie: Pfft
Emmet: AT LEAST I DON”T HAVE TO DYE MY HAIR BLONDE!!! Oh, was that a secret
Rosalie gets up and walks away pissed, sees Edward, and Bella Giggling their asses off, she glares at them both before walking away
Esme walking in: Hello Bella, come and meet the family
Esme pulls Bella into the kitchen
Esme: This is my husband Carlisle
Carlisle: Hello Bella, nice to meet you, Edward has told us so much about you
Bella: I hope not any bad things.
Esme: This is Emmett (Points to Emmett)
Emmett: Hey Bella, Um Sorry about Rosalie
Bella: It’s no problem
Esme: And this is Alice and Jasper
Alice: Hello Bella, Oh Wait, (sounding angry) Edward now can I talk to her?
Edward: Yes
Alice: Oh Bella, I know we are going to be Great Friends don’t worry about Rosalie she’ll come around
Esme: Alice! And this is Jasper
Jasper: Pleasure to meet you Bella
Carlisle: So Bella, care to play baseball with my family?
Bella: SO Edward, when are we playing baseball?
Edward: We have to wait for the storm
Bella: Storm?
Edward: You’ll see why we need the storm later.
Later in the Cullen’s living room, you see them all warming up and getting ready to play
Bella: Are we going?
Carlisle: Bella, we play right here?
Bella: Um then why do we need the storm?
Alice: Emmett likes his vocabulary of curse words.
They turn on the T.V. and start to play Wii Baseball.
Esme: Bella, you can be Ref.
Bella: How do you cheat with Wii Baseball?
Esme: They do watch
They start playing the game, you hear Emmett yelling, Emmett’s on the couch climbing
Rosalie: That’s my monkey man
You hear a knock on the door. Carlisle goes and gets it.
Carlisle: Hello
Laurent: Hello, we are looking for a place to stay
Carlisle: Of course, come inside
Laurent: This is Victoria (Pointing to Victoria) and James? Where did he go?
Victoria: Damn it, I know I should have put a bell on that boy.
James: IN HERE!
They all turn around to see James in the living Room
James Sniffing Bella: Smells Delicious
Edward: Bella and I were just leaving
Edward pulls Bella out of the house, and throws her into his car.
Bella and Edward in the car.
Edward: Bella… Damn you! I knew you smelt to good, Screw it, I’m eating you.
Bella: What?
Edward: Joking! But seriously Alice is taking you away.
Bella: Alright, god lion and lamb much, and so the lion fell in love with the lamb
Edward: Wait, I want to be the cute little lamb, why do I have to be the lion?
Bella: Because you’re the vampire…
Edward: So you’re a man eater, and I don’t bring that up every five minutes GOD! Now go to Alice, and Jasper.
Bella: Sorry I’m going
Bella gets out of the car and goes off with Alice and Jasper.
Alice, Jasper and Bella in a hotel room
Alice: So Bella…
Bella: So Alice, what’s up?
Alice: I got to ask you to leave, Jasper and I agreed that you got to go
Bella: Where?
Alice: Come On, just go to James, I dare you
Bella: Ah
Alice: Double dog dare
Jasper: Triple Dog Dare
Bella: Damn now I have to do it
Bella walks out and slams the door
Bella goes to the Ballet Studio
James: Wow, my snacks here (claps hands)
Bella: So how are we going to do this?
James: Well I’m going to video tape this and then give it to Edward and Um.. OMG do you think I can post this on YouTube
Bella: No I think you should choose Americas funniest home videos, wait is that show still on the air?
James: Um I don’t know, I thought the guy died!!
Bella: So
James: Yup, I’m going to kill you
The Cullen’s burst in, after James pushes Bella to the floor. The Cullen’s walk closer to James and Bella, and James bites Bella. Bella Screaming on the floor
Edward: Bella SHUT UP! I’m trying to deal with James
James and the Cullen’s start fighting. They kick his ass and the scene fades.
Bella in the hospital with Edward by her side
Bella: Edward do you love me?
Edward: whoa, um about that, while you were unconscious I kind of hit it off with Jacob, nothing against you but, he keeps totally being an ass to me, and it totally turns me on, do you think if I asked him to go out with me he would say yes?
Bella: Ummm, he’s a dog, do you realize that, He isn’t really into the whole umm
Edward: what the gay thing Bella: WHAT!! No I meant the vampire thing, undead thing, kind of a turnoff for him since he hates your guts...
Edward: Aw man
Bella: And Edward wtf? Why are you wearing a Team Jacob button? I thought…
Edward: It’s so cool! Love it, with the cool scratch marks and…
Bella: Earth To Edward!!
The Prom scence, you see all the Cullen’s, and Angela, Jessica Mike, etc
Bella: Why did you bring me here?
Edward: Your dad paid me twenty bucks
Bella: damn him! He knows I can’t dance
Edward pulling out video camera: That’s why he asked me to tape it
Bella’s jaw drops
Bella: I thought it was more expensive to bribe you
Edward: Oh yeah I also get this camera, and he paid for this outfit
Bella mumbling: Didn’t pay for mine
Bella: Did he do anything else for you?
Edward: He got rid of my criminal record
Bella: What?
Edward: Just kidding.
Bella and Edward enter a secluded area; Jacob finds them and pulls Bella to the side.
Jacob: Bella, what are you doing with him (moves head in the direction of Edward)
Bella: He’s my date
Jacob: My dad paid me 20 bucks to tell you to stay away from the Cullen’s
Bella: Why is everyone being paid money for stuff involving me!
Jacob: Um yeah, so don’t be with Edward
Bella: Um
Edward: Edward is right here!
Jacob: It just got cold in here!
Edward: I’ve been standing here the whole time! The temperature can’t just drop
Jacob stamps his feet and walks off pissed.
Edward sarcastically: Yay, now we’re alone
Bella walks over to Edward
Edward: Whoa, um yeah I have a thing for Jacob sorry
Bella: Damn YOU!!
See Victoria walking down stairs angry undoing her hair and falling.
Cut to end credits and at the end you see one more scene. Edward is holding up the Twilight DVD case, and runs over to bella after putting it down.
Edward: I just saw the cover for the movie, and why the hell are you on the front you don’t even have any cool powers
Bella: well, I’m your love interest
Edward: Really?!?! I thought you’d be hotter
These are only excerpts. The whole thing is posted on this link: link
Credit to: link
I sang this song in choir my sophomore year maybe it will help you keep strong and have faith in Robsten
The Rose,
Some say love it is a river that drowns the tender reed,
Some says love it is a razor that leaves your soul to bleed
Some say love it hunger is an endless aching need
It's the one who won't be taken who can not seem to give
And the soul afraid of dying never that learns to live;
When the night has been to lonely and the road seems to long and you think that is only for the lucky the strong;
Just remember far the winter snow, lies the seed that with the suns love becomes the rose the rose
The Rose,
Some say love it is a river that drowns the tender reed,
Some says love it is a razor that leaves your soul to bleed
Some say love it hunger is an endless aching need
It's the one who won't be taken who can not seem to give
And the soul afraid of dying never that learns to live;
When the night has been to lonely and the road seems to long and you think that is only for the lucky the strong;
Just remember far the winter snow, lies the seed that with the suns love becomes the rose the rose
Kristen Stewart, who shot to fame as Bella Swan in "The Twilight" films and is the title character in "Snow White and the Huntsman", jumped to the top of Forbes.com's annual list of highest-paid actresses.
The 22-year-old earned an estimated $34.5 million (£22 million) from May 2011 to May 2012 and pushed Angelina Jolie into fourth place.
Cameron Diaz, who had a surprise hit with “Bad Teacher”, came in second with $34 million.
“She (Stewart) is an up-and-coming star. She is earning a lot of money from one of the most successful franchises of all time. This is who you would expect to see right now,” said Dorothy Pomerantz, Forbes Los Angeles bureau chief.
“This year you are seeing somebody young and at the brink of potentially great stardom sitting on the top of the list.”
The 22-year-old earned an estimated $34.5 million (£22 million) from May 2011 to May 2012 and pushed Angelina Jolie into fourth place.
Cameron Diaz, who had a surprise hit with “Bad Teacher”, came in second with $34 million.
“She (Stewart) is an up-and-coming star. She is earning a lot of money from one of the most successful franchises of all time. This is who you would expect to see right now,” said Dorothy Pomerantz, Forbes Los Angeles bureau chief.
“This year you are seeing somebody young and at the brink of potentially great stardom sitting on the top of the list.”
Touch me I'm cold, unable to control
Touch me I'm golden and wild as the wind blows
And tumbling, tumbling, don't go fascination
If just for tonight darling, let's get lost
If just for tonight darling, let's get lost
Let me come closer, I'm not your shadow
With our eyes shielded from the oncoming count
It's not hard for us to say what we should not
If just for tonight darling, let's get lost
If just for tonight darling, let's get lost
Touch me I'm cold, unable to control
Touch me I'm golden and wild as the wind blows
And tumbling, tumbling, don't go fascination
If just for tonight darling, let's get lost
If just for tonight darling, let's get lost
If just for tonight darling, let's get lost
Let's get lost
Let's get lost
Let's get lost
Let's get lost
Touch me I'm golden and wild as the wind blows
And tumbling, tumbling, don't go fascination
If just for tonight darling, let's get lost
If just for tonight darling, let's get lost
Let me come closer, I'm not your shadow
With our eyes shielded from the oncoming count
It's not hard for us to say what we should not
If just for tonight darling, let's get lost
If just for tonight darling, let's get lost
Touch me I'm cold, unable to control
Touch me I'm golden and wild as the wind blows
And tumbling, tumbling, don't go fascination
If just for tonight darling, let's get lost
If just for tonight darling, let's get lost
If just for tonight darling, let's get lost
Let's get lost
Let's get lost
Let's get lost
Let's get lost
An innocent child in New Orleans
A simple girl from simple means
Walked the rails
Rode her thumb
She hitched a ride with everyone
The regular, she’d rearrange
The girl knew how to chop and change
Chop and change (Ooo)
Chop and change (Yeah)
Chop and change (Oh, oh, oh)
Chop and change (Yeah) alright
Took a job working late
Jacking cars from out of state
She found no love in this town
So she’d never mess around
Had no luck, but ain’t it strange
The girl knew how to chop and change
Chop and change (Oh, oh)
Chop and change (Come on, come on, come on, come on yeah)
Chop and change (Chop and change)
Chop and change (Oh)
Alright
A simple girl from simple means
Walked the rails
Rode her thumb
She hitched a ride with everyone
The regular, she’d rearrange
The girl knew how to chop and change
Chop and change (Ooo)
Chop and change (Yeah)
Chop and change (Oh, oh, oh)
Chop and change (Yeah) alright
Took a job working late
Jacking cars from out of state
She found no love in this town
So she’d never mess around
Had no luck, but ain’t it strange
The girl knew how to chop and change
Chop and change (Oh, oh)
Chop and change (Come on, come on, come on, come on yeah)
Chop and change (Chop and change)
Chop and change (Oh)
Alright
Other lives, always tempted to trade
Will they hate me for all the choices I made
Will they stop when they see me again
I can’t stop now I know who I am
Now I’m all yours, I’m not afraid
And you’re all mine, say what they may
And all your love I’ll take to the grave
And all my life starts now
Tear me down, they can’t take you out of my thoughts
Under every scar there’s a battle I’ve lost
Will they stop when they see us again
I can’t stop now I know who I am
Now I’m all yours, I’m not afraid
And you’re all mine, say what they may
And all your love I’ll take to the grave
And all my life starts
I’m all yours, I’m not afraid
And you’re all mine, say what they may
And all your love I’ll take to the grave
And all my life starts
Starts now
Will they hate me for all the choices I made
Will they stop when they see me again
I can’t stop now I know who I am
Now I’m all yours, I’m not afraid
And you’re all mine, say what they may
And all your love I’ll take to the grave
And all my life starts now
Tear me down, they can’t take you out of my thoughts
Under every scar there’s a battle I’ve lost
Will they stop when they see us again
I can’t stop now I know who I am
Now I’m all yours, I’m not afraid
And you’re all mine, say what they may
And all your love I’ll take to the grave
And all my life starts
I’m all yours, I’m not afraid
And you’re all mine, say what they may
And all your love I’ll take to the grave
And all my life starts
Starts now
Up with your turret
Aren’t we just terrified
Shale, screen your worry
From what you won’t ever find
Don’t let it fool you
Don’t let it fool you, down
Down’s sitting round
Folds in the gown
Sea and the rock below
Cocked to the undertow
Bones, blood and teeth erode
With every crashing node
Wings wouldn’t help you
Wings wouldn’t help you, down
Death is around
Prayer in your smile
You barely are blinking
Wagging your face around
When’d this just become
A mortal home
Ahhhh
Won’t, won’t, won’t, won’t
Won’t let you talk me
Won’t let you talk me, down
Will pull it taut
Nothing now
Aren’t we just terrified
Shale, screen your worry
From what you won’t ever find
Don’t let it fool you
Don’t let it fool you, down
Down’s sitting round
Folds in the gown
Sea and the rock below
Cocked to the undertow
Bones, blood and teeth erode
With every crashing node
Wings wouldn’t help you
Wings wouldn’t help you, down
Death is around
Prayer in your smile
You barely are blinking
Wagging your face around
When’d this just become
A mortal home
Ahhhh
Won’t, won’t, won’t, won’t
Won’t let you talk me
Won’t let you talk me, down
Will pull it taut
Nothing now
Bella swan was a shy girl,
she came to live with her dad who is shy as well,
She joined forks high school with no friends
But look how she turned out in the end,
A boyfriend whom she loves very much,
And her friend Mike who has a crush
She has entered the supernatural world
and now has to join the Cullen family as well.
Victoria is back and in a hunting mood,
Edward, Bella and Jacob camping in the woods,
Bella has agreed to marry Edward
and Jacob didn't realize he isn't very clever
Honeymoon in isle Esme is oh so great
until Bella falls pregnant
She has a little girl called Renesmee
And Jacob Black imprints on her and Bella isn't happy.
she came to live with her dad who is shy as well,
She joined forks high school with no friends
But look how she turned out in the end,
A boyfriend whom she loves very much,
And her friend Mike who has a crush
She has entered the supernatural world
and now has to join the Cullen family as well.
Victoria is back and in a hunting mood,
Edward, Bella and Jacob camping in the woods,
Bella has agreed to marry Edward
and Jacob didn't realize he isn't very clever
Honeymoon in isle Esme is oh so great
until Bella falls pregnant
She has a little girl called Renesmee
And Jacob Black imprints on her and Bella isn't happy.
