Mr. Bruce: *Breathing loudly as he looks at his five engines*
Ferris: I know he's angry all the time, but this is going a little too far.
Audience: *Quietly laughing*
Mr. Bruce: I can't believe this. After all the things we've done for him, he betrays us, and leaves with Tony, and Tito.
Jack: There's only one engine who fits that description.
Mr. Bruce: Tito and Tony are on Kenny's Line, but Jeremy is back on the Hunterdon Central.
Ferris: We'll catch him.
Jack: With all that heavy breathing, I'm surprised Mr. Bruce didn't-
Mr. Bruce: YOU BETTER CATCH HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Jack: -shout.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Bruce: OTHERWISE I'LL MAKE YOUR LIVES MISERABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ferris: Well then, shall we play the opening credits while we think of a plan?
Mr. Bruce: Yes.

Theme Song: link

Narrator: You don't have to hide it from us. It's not like it'll work or anything.
Audience: *Laughing*

Intro

Sean: *Gives a confused look at the four random D&H Alco PA's as he passes them with a passenger train*
Makenzie: *Her first attempt on pulling her train train has her wheels slip a quarter of a way. The second attempt has her do the same thing. On the third attempt, her wheels slip fiercely*
Grayback: *Refueling with Dan, and Brandon*
Panzer & Robert: *Going over a bridge with their freight train*
Kenny: *Talking to Jeff, and Bryce at the roundhouse*
Juliette: *Stops at Mossberg Station, watching Kate take off with her passenger train*

Trainz

Hilary: *Pulling her two coaches, and caboose*
S.B: *Standing next to Mily, both smiling at the audience*

Starring Sean of the Eastern Pacific
Makenzie of the Mossberg Narrow Gauge Railway
Grayback of the Hunterdon Central Railway
Panzer of the Northern Errol Line
Kenny of Kenny's Line
and Juliette of the Eastwood & Mossberg Railway
Also starring Sean Bodine as S.B.

Marisa: *Slipping as her train drags her down the hill*
Makenzie: *Slipping while pulling her train up a hill*

Episode 97: There's No Way To Succeed

Narrator: Not for the Northern Errol Line anyway.
Audience: *Laughing*
Narrator: Mr. Baldwin, and Mr. Wright were talking to each other after Jeremy left the Northern Errol Line. He had helped destroy two tunnels that Mr. Bruce was digging for a diabolical plan, and went back to the Hunterdon Central since that. However, they needed to find a spot for Jeremy to lay low, and Mr. Baldwin volunteered to have Jeremy work on the Eastern Pacific, until the coast was clear.
Mr. Baldwin: You can stay with us on our line until it's safe to go back to the Hunterdon Central.
Jeremy: Thank you Mr. Baldwin.
Mr. Baldwin: And S.B will help out too.
S.B: What do you need me to do?
Mr. Baldwin: Go see if Mr. Bruce sent any spies. Find Mr. Wright, he'll let you in on more details.

Song: link

Jesse: Stay!
Sean: Ahhhhhhh, just a little bit longer.
Audience: *Laughing*
Jesse: Please!
Sean: Please please please, please tell me that you're going to.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Baldwin: *Turns off the music* I'll have no more of that, thank you very much.
S.B: I better get going.
Narrator: Mr. Wright was waiting for me when I got to the Hunterdon Central Railway.
Mr. Wright: I've been seeing a lot of white SUV's parked closer to the tracks than any other cars that pass by my railroad.
S.B: And you think they're spies from the N.E.L.
Mr. Wright: That's why you're here. If they are Mr. Bruce's spies, you gotta find a way to get rid of them.
S.B: I'll think of something. Once I'm through with them, Jeremy can stay here as long as he likes.
Narrator: I drove around many areas trying to look for cars that matched the description of what Mr. Wright told me. White SUV's. I found a lot of them. Suburbans, Explorers, CR-V's, Hummers, even a few Volkswagens, but none of them were white.
Audience: *Quietly laughing*
Narrator: Eventually, I found a white Dodge Journey parked very close to the mainline.
S.B: *Parks on the road behind them* The cops have got to do something about these guys.
Narrator: Not only were they facing the train tracks, but to their right was a sign that said no trespassing.
Police Officer: *Walks up to the driver of the Journey*
N.E.L Spy: *Gets out* Yes?
Police Officer: Did you see that sign to your right? No trespassing.
N.E.L Spy: *Pulls out a card* I'm a railroad inspector. My partner, and I are checking the tracks. We think they need to be fixed so they don't move while trains go over them.
Police Officer: Very well. Thank you for your cooperation. *Walks away*

Song (Set the speed to 0.5): link

S.B: I don't believe this. *Gets out of his car, and listens to the music coming from a nearby store*
Narrator: This could help.
Ethan: *Blows his horn as he pulls freight cars*
Narrator: That too.
Audience: *Quietly laughing*
S.B: *Grabs a cable from his car, and runs to a crosswalk. He crosses the street*
BMW Man: *Honks his horn as he speeds towards me*
S.B: *Gets on the sidewalk across the street* I guess he has no respect for pedestrians.
Audience: *Laughing*
N.E.L Spy 2: *Walks out of the car*
S.B: *Moves into an alleyway*
N.E.L Spy 2: *Looks to the left, but doesn't see anything. He walks back into the car*
S.B: *Leaves the alleyway*
Ethan: *Blows his horn, and activates a railroad crossing*
Narrator: The music got quieter as Ethan got closer. The bells at the crossing were going off, and the wind was picking up.
S.B: *Hiding behind the wall as he gets closer to the Journey*
Ethan: *Rings his bell, and blows his horn twice*
S.B: *Lays down, and crawls towards the Journey*
N.E.L Spies: *Watching Ethan pass them*
S.B: *Under the Journey. He ties one end of the cable to the rear axle*
Ethan: *Blows his horn again*
S.B: *Gets out of the Journey, and ties the other end of the cable to the front axle of an Audi* I hate these type of cars anyway. *Runs back to his car*
N.E.L. Spies: *Looking forward*
S.B: *Runs back to his car, and drive away* Now to get their attention, and destroy their car.
N.E.L Spy 2: People love to speed through this area.
N.E.L Spy 1: Don't I know it?
S.B: *Passes them as he drives on the tracks* EAT MY DUST SPIES!!!!! *Drifts left, going back onto the road*
N.E.L Spies: *Driving forward, but there's too much slack on the cable, and the rear axle comes off*
Audience: *Laughing*
Narrator: YEAH!!!!!
Audience: *Laughing*
N.E.L Spies: *Looking back at the axle*
S.B: *Stops behind them* There's more where that came from unless you stop looking for Jeremy! *Drives away*
N.E.L Spies: Quick after him! *Running after him*

Stop the song

S.B: *Looks back, and sees the spies chasing him* A-hahahahaha!
Silverado Man 62: *Having difficulty seeing. He squints his eyes, and bites his lip*
Audience: *Laughing*
Silverado Man 62: *Crashes into S.B*
S.B: *Spins out, and hits a car in an autoshop*
N.E.L Spies: *Watching the wreck* He crashed! Someone made it easier for us! After him!!!! *Running closer to S.B*
S.B: *Gets out of his car*
Shop Worker: *Runs out of the autoshop, and sees S.B* You okay?
S.B: Yeah, fix my car, I'll pay you later! *Runs away*
N.E.L Spies: *Running after S.B*
N.E.L Spy 2: He's still far ahead of us.
N.E.L Spy 1: We'll catch him though. Don't stop.
S.B: *Getting tired*
Narrator: I never really was a good runner, so I decided to out smart them.
S.B: *Runs into a club*
N.E.L Spies: *Stop, looking at the club name above the front door*
N.E.L Spy 1: Le Bonjour?
N.E.L Spy 2: It's a French club! I'm scared!
Audience: *Laughing*
N.E.L Spy 1: I'm scared too, but we must go in, and stop whoever that guy is.
Narrator: They walked inside.

Song: link

N.E.L Spy 2: I just hope there's no gypsies.
Audience: *Laughing*
N.E.L Spy 1: Easy. *Walk pass a band, playing music*
Narrator: The guitar player was wearing a black desert robe, and had a white towel covering his face. And, now you know my disguise.
Audience: *Laughing*
Narrator: It's fine if you know, but the spies are the ones that must not know this information.
Audience: *Laughing*
N.E.L Spies: *Staring at S.B*
S.B: *Sweating*
Narrator: The spies turned around, and whispered to each other, which made me sweat even more. Somehow, I still played that guitar with no foul ups.
Audience: *Laughing*
N.E.L Spy 1: He's probably nervous about what we think of his music.
N.E.L Spy 2: He's good, but the song he's playing with that band is terrible.
N.E.L Spy 1: Let's shout that at him, and embarrass him. *Turns around with the other spy* Hey!
N.E.L Spy 2: Wait. Wasn't the guitar player white? Now he looks black.
N.E.L Spy 1: Yeah, and his face isn't covered up anymore!
Audience: *Laughing*
N.E.L Spies: S.B!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Running out of Le Bonjour, tripping over each other in the process*
Audience: *Laughing*

Stop the song

S.B: *Sees someone driving a Pontiac GTO, he runs into it's path*
GTO Lady 44: *Stops her car*
S.B: May I borrow this? *Pulls the lady out of her car, and drives towards the spies*
N.E.L Spy 1: He's got another car!
S.B: *Driving towards them*
N.E.L Spies: *Screaming as their eyes bulge out Looney Tune style*
Audience: *Laughing*
S.B: *Drifts, sliding the car sideways to a stop*
N.E.L Spy 1: He didn't hit us.
S.B: Only to give you a warning. Leave now, and never come back. If you refuse to listen, Mr. Baldwin, and Mr. Wright will send some guys after you.
N.E.L Spy 2: Let's go. It's not worth it.
Narrator: They left.
S.B: *Drives the car towards the lady, and stops* Thanks. *Gets out* Enjoy the rest of your day. *Walks away*
GTO Lady 44: *Confused, gets back into her car*
Narrator: I shared my good news with Mr. Baldwin, and Mr. Wright, while the spies shared their bad news with Mr. Bruce.
Mr. Bruce: I don't believe this! I gave you specific orders to bring Jeremy to me, and what do you do?! You fail!
Audience: *Quietly laughing*
Jack: Maybe you shouldn't have changed your mind in sending me, and Ferris to get Jeremy for you.
Ferris: Yeah, we wouldn't mind if you sent us.
Jack: Ferris may not succeed, but you know I will.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ferris: Why do you always do this to everyone?!
Jack: It's what I do best. You know I'm superior in intelligence compared to everyone else here.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Bruce: I don't care! Forget about Jeremy for a while. We still have three things to worry about. Freight trains, Kenny's Line, and the Eastern Pacific. I know with you five, we'll succeed with at least one of those tasks. The other three are busy, and you should be to. Take a freight train to the Mossberg Depot.
Jack: *Leaves with Ferris*
Narrator: As the two diesels left, Mr. Bruce began to think to himself.
Mr. Bruce: Why focus on just the Eastern Pacific, and Kenny's Line, when I can get the Hunterdon Central involved too? Not only will I destroy Jeremy, but his entire railroad as well! *Laughs*
Narrator: Things are just beginning for this mad man.

Ending theme (Start at 1:10): link

The end credits begin with S.B driving his car out of the auto shop where he crashed earlier.

Characters featured in this episode

Mr. Bruce
Ferris
Jack
Mr. Baldwin
Jeremy
Sean
Jesse
Mr. Wright
Ethan
And S.B AKA Sean Bodine

Songs used for episode

CHiPs Theme: John Parker & Alan Silvestri
Stay: Maurice Williams and the Zodiacs
Benny Hill Theme: Benny Hill Soundtrack
Flambee Montalbanaise: Gus Viseur Et Son Orchestre

The End

This has been a SeanTheHedgehog production from November 5, 2016