long ago, when i was 3, me and mother went into the store. it's my earliest memory, going into that store. mother said "u can pick one toy. u've been really good this past year. u didn't complain and u didn't cry." i should explain. that past year they didn't have any money 4 any christmas gifts or...any gifts at all. father has spent it all away on stupid shit. mother just got some money and we'd gone 2 the store. i didn't expect her 2 say anything. i didn't cry or complain when i didn't get anything. i didn't think we'd gone 2 the store 4 me....i thought we were just getting stuff....but i slowly walk away, drawn 2 the toys. i walk past all the other bears, drawn 2 one. an Emo Care Bear...something most kids hated. that's y they only made them 4 one day and stopped....trying 2 get rid of the ones they had. most kids feared it.....but i'm not most kids....and i grabbed one without hesitating. i ran 2 mom and she looks at me* "did u look at everything?" i nod, lying. i didn't need 2, i knew this was what i wanted. she smiles and pays 4 it and, as soon as we leave, i open up the box and hug it* "what'll u call her?" mom asks. hmmm....that i didn't think of...
"Fluffuls!" i declare, grinning. she messes up my hair and smiles
"good name" she replies, and we walk home. she makes her a jacket and boots when we get back and i've never forgotten anything about the story since it happened.
"Fluffuls!" i declare, grinning. she messes up my hair and smiles
"good name" she replies, and we walk home. she makes her a jacket and boots when we get back and i've never forgotten anything about the story since it happened.
I don't understand...
why I hate
why I lie
why I trust
why I try
why I cry
But most of all...
why we fight
why kill
why we hate
What I understand most is...
why I stay by myself
why I can no longer feel
why I'm now numb to what happens
why I won't show my pain
why I can't not write
Just Because I lie...
doesn't mean I don't cry
don't think I don't try
still count me as here
Just because I lie...
I still try
I don't even know I do it
I still wanna be here
Just because I lie...
I can still trust
I still have a heart
I still have dreams
Just because I lie~don't think I do it on purpose, don't think I haven't tried to stop.
why I hate
why I lie
why I trust
why I try
why I cry
But most of all...
why we fight
why kill
why we hate
What I understand most is...
why I stay by myself
why I can no longer feel
why I'm now numb to what happens
why I won't show my pain
why I can't not write
Just Because I lie...
doesn't mean I don't cry
don't think I don't try
still count me as here
Just because I lie...
I still try
I don't even know I do it
I still wanna be here
Just because I lie...
I can still trust
I still have a heart
I still have dreams
Just because I lie~don't think I do it on purpose, don't think I haven't tried to stop.
~Life After Death?~
is it possible to live after death?
I guess so...
memories never truly die
but will anyone remember...
such an insignificant speck?
~Anyone Care?~
Does anyone care?
Truthfully...
probably not
even if they say they do...
people don't always...
mean what they say
~Love Struck~
Love
Adoring, smiling, electric
my heart
quickly
fell
to the floor
~Black~
Makes me think of night
with no stars, no moon in sight
in the emptiness of space
~Hate~
Boiling, Jumping, Pounding
restless in the heart
of me
is it possible to live after death?
I guess so...
memories never truly die
but will anyone remember...
such an insignificant speck?
~Anyone Care?~
Does anyone care?
Truthfully...
probably not
even if they say they do...
people don't always...
mean what they say
~Love Struck~
Love
Adoring, smiling, electric
my heart
quickly
fell
to the floor
~Black~
Makes me think of night
with no stars, no moon in sight
in the emptiness of space
~Hate~
Boiling, Jumping, Pounding
restless in the heart
of me