On The Couch

"So Melinda, tell me how was your summer?"

My shrink whose name is Caroline Bryce asks me. She's only 26 but she dresses way too sexy.

Today for instance she has on a tight bright red pantsuit and her long corn silk blond hair is down.

Her over all outfit might look slutty on another person but she pulls it off.

I hook my slightly longer and fuller auburn hair behind my ears and say "It's been good, really good actually."

Caroline nods understandingly she leans forward in her black patent leather chair and asks me "Really how so?"

I take a deep breath and try to explain, I lean my head back on my black patent leather chair and think.

Ever since I defeated Andy it seemed like the entire Merry Weather High School had been calling my house.

People I don't even know, had been over that summer calling me to give their congratulations.

The phone calls had gotten so bad that my parents were on the verge of changing our phone number.

They eventually stopped half way through the summer.

I'm still not entirely sure how I feel about all of sudden being the "hero" of my high school. I decide to not think about that.

I straighten myself up in my chair and answer Caroline

"Well I've reconnected with all of my old friends form middle school, do you remember I told you about them once?"

Caroline nods again and says"Yes I remember. I bet that makes you feel good does it?"

I nod.

I have been seeing Caroline since around the beginning of this summer. When I first started seeing her she insisted that I not call her Dr. Bryce but just Caroline.

It makes our relationship less formal don't you think?

That was her explanation at the time.

I was still a semi-mute back then so I just nodded my head and stayed silent.

She has really helped me get through all of my emotions about what happened with Andy. I like her a lot.

She let's me stay silent when I want to and she doesn't try and push me and let's me take my time answering her questions.

We have become pretty friendly.

I don't say "friends" because that would be way too weird.

I tell her something suddenly "I started dating David Petrakis this summer, I like him a lot."

Caroline smiles she writes something on her pink note pad and replies "Really, that's very good Melinda, now how is the physical aspect of your relationship?"

I tilt my head back against my chair again and sigh. I knew she would ask me this.

It took me awhile to tell David what happened to me.

Since he isn't attuned to the social scene at Merry Weather as most people he didn't hear the story about me and Andy.

I eventually told him on our fourth date.

He wasn't as freaked out as I thought he would be.

He just kissed me on my lips and said I won't ever hurt you like that Melinda I swear,I like you way too much.

We talked all through the date about it.

Well I talked and David listened.

He didn't interpret once. He just sat back and let me talk out my feelings about that horrible night.

He comforted me when I cried and waited for me to relax when I got angry.

That made me like him even more. It made us a whole lot closer. He understood why I had a difficult time telling him.

He wasn't upset that I hadn't told him sooner.

He was only sad that it had happened to me at all.

David promised he'd been there for me no matter what.

After that night I knew I would be with David Petrakis for a long time. Maybe not marriage but for awhile.

Caroline's sometimes too sweet voice breaks into my thoughts"Melinda, Melinda are you all right honey?".

I straighten up again in my seat again and say confident "You don't need to worry about me and David."

Caroline cocks her head to one side and stares at me for a few seconds then she replies uncertain "Oh and why don't I?"

I take another deep breath and say"Because all we do is make out. Another deep breath. "I'm not going to be ready to "do it" with him for a long, long time, he knows this and accepts it."

I allow myself to smile a little.

Caroline picks up on this and says to me"Is that why you like David so much because he understands that you have boundaries to the physical part of your relationship?"

Then she says something that sends me reeling "That's something that Andy didn't do."

I shut my eyes for a second and suddenly I'm back at the party in the woods with Andy on top of me. I shudder and shake me head.

I open my eyes. Caroline's pretty face looks alarmed.

I say to her. "I had a flash back for a second."

She nods.

We both stay silent.

I have been having flash backs about Andy ever since I started seeing Caroline.

She says it's because I'm fully facing what he did to me.

I stare at her Betty Boop clock above her desk it's been exactly twenty minutes since either of us said anything.

I take a deep breath. Then say "I'm ready now."

Caroline nods she knows I don't really like talking about Andy once I've had a flash back.

She changes tact and asks "So what else have you been up to this summer?"

We spend the rest of the session talking about the Back- to-school shopping I did with Rachel and Ivy.

Nicole was at Tennis Camp so she couldn't come.

Caroline looks at her clock and says to me "Well it's one-thirty time for you to go kiddo. I'm so glad to hear you are doing well."

She gets up form her chair and lays a hand on my shoulder.

She says to me "I'll see you next Friday, keep your spirits up and have a good first week back at school, okay?"

I smile and reply "Thanks I will."


Reassuring A Best Friend

I start to walk out of the building.

I open my purse as I walk and take out my Blackberry, it has a aqua colored skin Dad bought me it this summer with his new job.

I see I have a text form Rachel: I'm outside c u in a sec?

I smile again and text back. Rachel got her driver's license this summer which really rocked for our re formed Clan: The Plain Janes.

Her parents bought her a new cherry red mustang convertible.

I see her and wave.

I climb in the passenger's seat and give Rachel a small hug.

I smile at her then say "Hey Rachel,thanks for picking me up, you didn't have too I mean I could of taken the bus home."

Rachel smiles at me.

She says "Hey Mel, what's up?"

I say "Nothing much it was just a normal session with my shrink."

I laugh and so does Rachel.

Her face goes form happy to serious in a nano second.

Then she says to me" I don't mind picking you up Mel,your my Best Friend." She emphasizes those two words strongly. "I mean I gotta make up for last year. I can't believe I was so mean to you,I don't know what I was thinking."

She starts to tear up a bit.

I put my arms around her shoulders and say "Hey Rache it's all right, you have more than proven you are my best friend, I mean I would of gone crazy this summer if I didn't have you and the girls back!"

I start to laugh.

There is major truth in that statement through and Rachel knows me more than anyone.

She is able to look past my fake laughter and see the truth in what I just said.

Rachel wipes her face with the back of her hand and replies "Thanks Mel, hey you wanna go to the mall, there is a killer shoe sale going on!"

We both laugh and I say "Sure Rache that sounds awesome!"


Sophomore Year

"Now Mellie are you sure you don't want me to drive you?" I grit me teeth so hard I think they will break in my mouth.

This is the hundredth time Mom has asked me this question this morning.

I take a deep breath slightly so she won't notice I'm getting really mad.

Then I say "Mom, I already told you I'm fine,besides Rachel's gonna pick me up."

Mom looks at me, I think she's on the verge of breaking down into sobs.

I put my arms around her in a huge hug.

Then I say "Mom please calm down, I'm fine, really I am,will you please stop worrying."

Mom exhales and replies "Oh Mellie after what happened to you last year I just can't stop thinking about anything expect for your well being."

I hug her tighter and sigh.

Last year is the absolutely last thing I want to think about on the first day of my Sophomore Year.

Suddenly I hear two sharp and short horn blasts.

Rachel, right on time Thank God! I think to myself.

I slide out of Mom's iron grasp grab my backpack and shout out the door to her "See ya later Mom, I love you!"

I jump into the passenger's seat of her car and say "Hey Rache man did you come right on time!"

She looks at me and replies "What do you mean?"

I say "My mom was getting sappy."

She nods then replies so excited she is literally bouncing in the driver's seat "Mel can you believe it we're sophomores, that means we are officially Upper Class men!"

I smile at her enthused response.

I say to her somewhat happily "Yeah it is great I guess."

We talk about weather or not are we gonna pick on the Freshman this year.

As we start to collect the rest of our clan, Ivy and Nicole.

Our conversation gets so silly Rachel nearly crashes the car twice because she is laughing so hard.

After so long being with out them it feels really good to be able to laugh with my three best friends again.

I feel complete and happy for the first time in years it seems.

Once we get to school Rachel parks the car.

Then all four of us pile out of it and walk towards Merry Weather High arms linked together, it feels great.

We start laughing about something Ivy said.

I spot David near the left hand side door.

I stop then say to them "I'll see you guys at lunch all right?"

Ivy hugs me she then sprints inside.

She shouts over her shoulder at me "See you then Mel!"

Nicole quips "Make sure you don't get caught doing PDA!"

She hugs me too and I shove her off me playfully.

She follows Ivy inside.

Rachel hugs me as well then replies "I'll see you later okay, have fun."

I shove her off me too and reply "Oh shut up, I'll text you later."

Rachel smiles and says "Okay, sounds good."

She then goes inside too.

I walk over to David.

I wrap my arms around his neck and say "Hey, sorry about them, they can be a tad obnoxious."

He kisses me then says "It's okay, they are your best friends right?"

I nod. We hold hands and go inside.

I feel that my sophomore year at Merry Weather High School is gonna be completely different than last year.

With David by my side and the Plain Janes back together

I know it's gonna be different but for the better.

David squeezes my hand.

Yeah it's defiantly gonna be for the better.


Our Teachers Will Always Be The Best

David and I go to the main office and get our schedules.

We have Biology II, and Advanced Art together.

That's good, David has never seen me do art before and I'm actually excited to see his reaction at my artistic abilities.

We both are in the same American History class (blah!)

I doubt that we are going to get right up to the present but I'm holding onto hope that we are.

Last year I think we made it all the way to World War II but I can't be sure. My freshman year is all still kinda of a blur for me.

David has Advanced French now.

He kisses me on my cheek and then lips making sure to be extra discreet about it.

There are numerous teachers roaming the halls and we don't want to get a demerit for PDA.

I smile thinking of what Nicole said to me before she went inside just a few minutes ago.

He says to me "Love ya Mel, see you in American History."

I smile kissing him on the lips softly and say back "Yeah see you."

I pull my backpack on my shoulders and head to Language Arts II.

I am majorly surprised when I get to the classroom and see none other than Hairwoman sitting at her desk.

I didn't know she taught upper class men.

Her hair is still a dark black but she let it grow out over the summer,it's glossy and shiny falling just past her shoulders.

She has it back in a elegant looking black smooth metal headband.

Hairwoman no longer has glasses but has opted for the more cool way of seeing and got contacts.

I smile and say to her "Good morning Mrs. Harris you look very nice today."

Hairwoman looks up and replies "Melinda, thank you very much, it's so good to hear your voice again, you look lovely as well, tell me how was your summer?"

We teacher-student chat like this for a bit.

We stop when Rachel comes into the room.

I excuse myself and go sit down.

I sit down at a desk near the right side of the classroom underneath a window. Rachel sits down next to me.

I brush my hair back and take out a peach plastic head band form my back pack, I quickly place it in my hair and push my hair back with it.

Rachel asks me "Mel how come you didn't text me, I mean you said you would remember?"

I nod than say "Sorry Rachel I was... uh preoccupied, you know busy finding my classes."

Rachel hears the hesitation in my voice and sees that my face is bright red when I talk.

She narrows her eyes and a teasing smirk appears across her face.

I know right then and there that I'm in trouble.

Rachel says teasingly"Oh I see you were too preoccupied sucking face with your boy friend to text me back, that's all right I understand did you french suck face?"

She throws her head back and laughs.

I punch her softly in the arm and say mockingly "Rache...just be quiet!"

We both laugh then stop when we hear Hairwoman call the class to order.

I hear and see that the school must of sent her to a conference or therapy.

Something to build up her confidence because she looks us in the eye and everything now.

I'm glad that I don't have to pitch in to pay for a sub.



The End Of a Era

I wait for David to come to my Psych class so we can walk to American History together.

I hear my Blackberry buzzing. I pull it out of my purse and sigh with relief.

A text form David: B there in 2 seconds.

I smile and text him back: K. Hurry we got like 2 mins bfore class.

Finally I see David's long lean form walking to meet me.

It's been three hours since I last saw him, I can't help myself.

I squeal happily "David!"

I run to him and throw my arms around his neck.

We kiss for a few seconds then he says "Hey Mel, I'm glad to see you too so how's your first day so far?"

He laces his right hand with mine and we start walking to American History. I take a deep breath.

I still can't believe he's with me again, I've missed him so much today.

I take another breath and answer "It's been okay, nothing special, you?"

He shrugs and replies "It's been really weird, my french teacher hardly knows English, so we have to yell to get her to understand us."

We both laugh.

Our laughter continues till we get to the doorway of our American History class room.

We both stop in the door way.

I have been nervous all morning and into the afternoon, absolutely dreading this moment.

At lunch I remember Rachel asking me if I wanted to go to the nurse

She said You look like Casper the Ghost, seriously Mel are you all right?

I told her I was fine and I was just worn out form the day.

Secretly through I was scared. I still am scared.

I'm scared because I don't want to see Mr. Neck the ruthless history teacher who made my freshman year totally miserable.

David squeezes my hand and whispers to me "It's okay Melinda I'm right here."

He then kisses my hand.

Reassured a little I then take a deep breath and walk into the class room.

I look to see who is sitting at the history teacher's desk. I. AM. IN. TOTAL. SHOCK.

I am so shocked because the teacher sitting at the desk isn't Mr. Neck but someone completely new.

It's a man in his early to late twenties. He has a thick head of white blond hair its slicked back nicely.

His face is gloriously sculpted his jaw is shaped perfectly to match his amazing California-tanned face.

He has bright blue eyes that seem to look right into my soul.

His name is on the chalkboard in big but neat writing: Mr. Applebaum.

I call him Adonis.

I forget how my feet work.

David shakes my arm and replies "Mel, come on let's sit down."

I shake my head to clear it then say "Oh right sorry."

I take my old seat in the front just so I can examine Adonis's features more closely.

David sighs slightly and takes the seat beside me.

Once everyone is seated

Adonis gets up from his desk and greets us.

His voice is soft with just the right amount of authority behind it to show us that he is a teacher and not a Greek god in disguise

"Hello everyone and welcome to American History again."

We all laugh for a second.

Then he says"My name is Mr. Applebaum and I will be replacing your old history teacher Mr. Neck."

Replacing? That's the BEST news I've heard!

I take a deep breath then raise my hand Adonis looks at me and points

I steel myself then ask "Mr. Applebaum I was just wondering what happened to Mr. Neck?"

Adonis smiles at me and I almost slide out of my chair.

He looks at a piece of paper on his desk I assume its Mr. Neck's old seating chart and answers me "Well.. Melinda?"

I nod.

"You see Melinda Mr. Neck was fired."

I nod again then raise my hand still anxious for more details

"Why was that sir?"

Adonis's nearly flawless face scrunches up in anxiety all of a sudden.

I know immediately what this means.

The old teacher bail out whenever some other teacher is fired: We aren't allowed to say.

Through I'm surprised when Adonis's answers me

"Well Melinda the school board just didn't believe that Mr. Neck deserved to teach at this school anymore and that's all I'm allowed to say about that. I hope that answered your question?"

I nod.

Mr. Applebaum says that in the following weeks we will be covering everything form the Salem Witch Trials to the Vietnam War.

I am actually looking forward to coming to American History now.

Adonis is not only really good looking he's an amazing teacher.

He is extremely laid back but teaches with a precise purpose.

Everyone loves him.

This is the only one thing that doesn't shock me.

I remember what Mr. Neck said to me on my first day last year.

I've taught here for 24 years.

This is one era that I'm happy ended


Subject

I give Rachel a hug as she pulls up to my house. "Thanks again Rache, I'll IM you about this weekend I'm going out with David on Friday, he says he has a surprise for me."

I smile as I say this.

Rachel again picks up on my attitude and says "Oh would that surprise involve s-e-x by chance?"

I blush then say "I don't really know what he has planned that's the point of it being a surprise."

I stare daggers at her for a few seconds.

She get's the message and backs down.

She knows how I don't like to talk about that subject.

I sigh then say " Rache, listen I'm sorry that I snapped at you it's just we haven't "done it" yet and I don't know if I'm ready."

Rachel hugs me then says "Well if that is what he's planning I think you both should talk about it."

I mull this over.

I give Rachel a one armed hug then say"You know I think I will do that, thanks for the advice Rache, IM you later?"

Rachel smiles then replies "Glad I could help Mel yeah IM me when you can."

I grab my backpack form the back seat pull my arms through it and hop out of her car.

As I walk up to my house I shout over my shoulder "Defiantly will, see ya!"

Rachel beeps her horn twice and takes off.



Curfew

I walk into the house knowing full well that Mom wants to hear all about my first day of school.

I tell her and she is happy that I had a good first day I eagerly tell her about Adonis and she is glad that I don't have to deal with Mr. Neck anymore.

I tell her that I'm going out with David this Friday and she says its all right as long as I'm home by eleven.

I'm surprised that she has risen my curfew three hours.

Last year if I did go out at all I had to be home by nine.

Through that didn't matter much because Mom and Dad didn't get home themselves till past two in the morning.

Out of curiosity I ask her "Wow Mom eleven why the time change?"

Mom gives me what seems like her zillionith hug. I see that there are tears in her eyes as she answers "Well Melinda you are almost sixteen now and your father and I trust you and David to get home on time."

I smile a little hug her again and say "Thanks mom please stop crying it's all right."

For good measure I add "I'll always be your little girl."

Mom wipes her eyes and says "Oh Mellie I love you."

I smile and say "Love you too mom."

I hug her one more time then I go upstairs and unpack my backpack.



Reason

It's officially Friday afternoon. I'm really excited to find out what David's surprise is for me.

Rachel and I walk to our lockers to put our books away.

She asks me the same question she has been asking me all week since I told her about David's surprise.

I sigh a little but let her ask me again "So spill it Mel, have you figured it out yet or not?"

I grit me teeth a bit and say "For the thousandth time Rache, I don't want to figure it out will you please just drop it!"

I didn't mean to yell my answer but she is getting on my nerves and as soon as I see her face I know I did the wrong thing.

I give her hug and say "Sorry Rache it's just I'm kinda nervous about this whole thing I didn't mean to take it out on you."

Rachel exhales and says "It's cool Mel, I guess I was being kind of annoying."

I nod and say "You were."

Rachel punches me in the arm and we both start laughing. Rachel gets a hold of herself then asks me "Do you want to spend some time with Ivy, Nicole and me tonight I mean a little girl time might just calm your nerves."

As much I want to take her up on the offer as much.

As much as I desperately want to just go to the parking lot jump in her convertible and ride off and have an awesome girl sleepover with the rest of our Clan I can't.

David is taking me out tonight.

I take a deep breath to calm myself.

Then I say "Wish I could Rache but I can't David is gonna be picking me up in a few hours, thanks through I knew there was a reason why you are my best friend."

I laugh then hug her. Rachel laughs too then says "Okay but the invitation still stands for Saturday."

I nod and say "Yeah that will be great I'll IM you about tonight k?"

Rachel gives me a hug throws her messenger bag around her head and starts to walk toward the door that leads to the parking lot.

She yells at me over the noise of the crowd of students also walking towards the door"See you later Mel can't wait to hear all about it!"

I laugh at her disappearing form as the swath of students file out into the hallway and engulf her.



Encouragement

I take the bus home then I make myself a snack of Chef Boy ravioli.

When I'm done I run upstairs to get ready. I take a shower and use my favorite lavender scented shampoo and body wash.

I get dressed and do my hair. I straighten it.

I use a smoothing serum to make it look even shiner than it already is. When I'm done with my hair I stand at my vanity mirror and examine my appearance.

I have on one of my dressiest and most formal tops.

It's bright peach and is made out of silk. Mom bought it for me last year.

I had no use for it then but I do now.

I have on a short jeans skirt. It's knee length.

I'm not quite prepared to go shorter yet.

Mom and Dad both come home a little after seven. I know it's because they want to wish me a good time on my date.

Even through this isn't my first date with David. I hear them talking in the kitchen.

I look at myself one more time in my vanity mirror and am happy with the way I look. I start to go down the steps carefully.

I have on two inch faux patent leather high heels to match David's height. I praise myself a bit for making it down the steps without falling. I go into the kitchen.

Mom nearly falls out of her chair she says"Oh Melinda you look gorgeous. Let me take a picture of you!"

She starts to open her purse and fishes around it for her camera.

I immediately hold up my right hand and say embarrassed "Mom please don't."

Mom sighs and relents to my request.

Dad gets up form his chair and gives me the old up- and- down.

He then replies a little teary eyed"Mellie... my little girl you look absolutely beautiful."

Then he hugs me.

I can't help but tear up a bit too.

I hear a horn. David finally!

Before I leave I say "Mom, Dad thanks for the compliments I'll see you guys later I love you."

They both say "We love you too."

I pick up my little pink satin clutch pull on my brown suede jacket and leave.

Luckily my house steps aren't that steep and I get down them with ease.



Dinner

I see David's sleek black Mercedes he gets out. He has on one of those t shirts that looks like he is wearing a tuxedo.

His usual flyaway brown hair is combed back and he has on black tight jeans. My smile widens as he approaches me.

He smiles at me too.

Then once he is in front of me he picks me up in arms and twirls me around twice. I giggle like crazy and so does he.

David sets me down his arms still around my waist.

We both have stop giggling.

He takes my face in his hands and we kiss for a few seconds.

I'm thankful for the darkness so my parents if they are watching they can't see us.

Finally we stop kissing and David says "Melinda you look amazing are you ready to go?"

I nod and say "Thanks, Yep I'm really curious to see what this surprise is."

David laughs and opens the passenger side door for me. Then he says "Well the surprise doesn't come till after dinner."

I roll my eyes slightly and get in the car. David shuts my door and lopes to the driver's side.

He starts up the car and we drive for awhile.

We are going to eat at one of my favorite restaurants in Syracuse: Baja Burrito.

The silence is driving me a tad insane so I ask him "So are you going to at least give me a hint as to what this surprise is?"

David shakes his head and says "Oh no that would spoil the surprise for you."

I scream in mock frustration "Ugh, you are so annoying!"

David smiles at my frustration and says to me "Don't worry Mel you'll love it I promise."

I lean back against my seat and say "I hope so."

David pecks me on my cheek reassuringly and says "You will"

We get to the Baja Burrito around eight o' clock. I order a chicken ranch burrito platter and David orders a taco salad.

We eat and drink our coco-colas.

We spend the rest of the night getting caught up with each other.

I signed up for an art class in the city last summer and I started going to it again, I have it almost every other day.

David interns at his uncle's lab after school and on the weekends so we haven't been spending as much time together as either of us would like. Tonight none of those things matter.

It's so easy to talk to David.

We laugh and eat and laugh some more.

Time passes quickly and before I know it our waitress is coming up to us and asks "Are you kids ready for dessert?"

I open my mouth to say yes but David is there before me and says "No thank you may we have our check please?"

The waitress nods takes our empty plates and goes off to get it.

I look at David confused and ask him "We aren't having dessert here?"

David takes my left hand smiles and kisses it. Then he says "Don't worry we'll have dessert another way."

I look at him still confused.

I want to ask him what is going on but my mouth won't work.

I am hoping this dessert isn't what I think it is. I am suddenly anxious. I take deep breaths to calm myself.

I do it discreetly so he doesn't notice I'm getting upset.

He pays the check and we leave.

I am hoping and praying that this surprise of his is harmless.



Dessert

We leave Baja Burrito around ten. David opens the passenger's side door for me. He gets in the driver's seat and turns to me.

I can tell that he has something behind his back so I hardly blink

when he pulls a red satin handkerchief form his right hand. I look at him and ask "What's that supposed to be?"

David smiles dangles it in front of me and says "It's part of your surprise." He ties it around my head.

Then he asks me "Now can you see anything?"

I shake my head once.

David then starts up the car and we pull out of the parking lot and onto the road.

We are driving for at least ten minutes when I ask him "You aren't going to kill me now are you?"

I mean it as a joke and we both laugh.

David replies his voice filled with love "Of course not Mel don't be silly. I just want you to be really shocked when I show you what I have planned."

I laugh again and so does he. We drive on and on and on and on!

I'm beginning to get really annoyed.

It's been at least two hours since we left Baja's and David hasn't even dropped a hint as to where we are going.

I try and relax and take a deep breath and settle back against my seat.

I guess I fall asleep because the next thing I know we have stopped.

David is gently shaking me awake.

He says softly "Melinda, Mel, Melinda, Mel wake up we're here."

I open my eyes which doesn't do much because I still have David's red satin handkerchief over them.

I sigh and say "Well were is this surprise of yours?"

I hear David get out of the car he opens my passenger door and helps me out.

I've had enough.

As David is pulling me I shout completely fed up with the cloak and dagger routine he has been giving me all night

"David will you please just show me where we are!"

David says "All right Melinda, as you wish."

I hear him walk behind me and untie the handkerchief.

After he has smoothed my hair down he shouts happily "Surprise!"

I open my eyes and I am shocked.

We are at a beach. There is a pink picnic basket on a pink and white checkered blanket.

In the basket are Neapolitan ice cream a can of Reddi Whip along with plastic bowels and spoons.

There is also pink candles around the blanket and scattered around the blanket and on it are red tulip petals.

David takes my right hand in his own and

walks towards the blanket and I follow still shocked that he did this all for me.

We sit down and I finally say "David this has got to be one of the sweetest things any one's ever done for me." I smile and kiss him. He dishes us out ice cream and we talk.

An hour and half later the ice cream and Reddi Whip is gone.

This is when I get really scared.

I wipe my mouth with a napkin take a deep breath and attempt to explain my feelings.


Unpleasant Memory
"David I love you."

It's the first time I've said these words to him and have actually meant it.

He kisses me and I kiss him back.

I lay back on the blanket and we kiss some more.

He straddles me softly and runs his hands along my stomach and chest as he continues to kiss me.

I run my hands through his hair.

Suddenly I hear him unzip his jeans he quickly has them off. He then presses against me tighter and starts to kiss me more quickly.

I freeze. I close my eyes and suddenly I'm back in the woods with Andy's white hot knife hands on me his strong bolder body pinning me down, he's hurting me hurting me.

I can't speak.

I can't stop him.

I push David off me and shout "No, I don't want to, get off of me!

I said No. Stop get off!"


Vows

David looks startled and I knew I have ruined our perfect date. He quickly pulls his jeans back on and scoots over to me slowly.

Through I'm shocked when he says "Melinda I'm so sorry that was way out of line, are you okay honey?"

I hook my hair behind my ears and take in two large breaths, trying to clear my head.

Then I say "I had a flash back about what Andy did to me, I have them sometimes when I talk to my shrink, and when you took off your jeans and pressed against me like that well that horrible memory came back to me in waves."

I don't realize I'm crying until David is rubbing my back and wiping my face with his red handkerchief.

He whispers to me softly "It's all right Mel I understand, really it's all right, I promise I won't do anything like that again not until your ready."

I smile and hug him then say "I do want to do it it's just I'm scared."

David kisses me softly and says "It's okay Melinda when your ready that's when we'll do it and not before, I promise."

I kiss him back with more power than I ever have.

Then say "I really love you David Petrakis."

David kisses me on my cheek and says "I love you Melinda Sordino."

I get up and say "Come on it's nearly my curfew I don't know what my parent's will do if they find out I've missed it probably put me on house arrest until I graduate."

We laugh and I help David clean up our picnic. I fall asleep nestled in the crook of David's neck.

I wake up when he pulls up to my house. I kiss him good bye and say

"Thank you the date was wonderful and interesting. I love you I'll call you tomorrow okay?"

David kisses me then says "I love you I'll be waiting for your call."

I smile and say "Good night."

He smiles and says "Good night Mel."

I pull on my suede jacket grab my clutch and head up to the house. I'm surprised that Mom has waited up for me.

I smile at her and say "Hi, Mom."

Mom smiles and asks "Hey Mellie so how was your date?"

I give her a hug take off my heels put them in the shoe rack.

When I start to head upstairs I finally answer Mom "It was okay, I had a good time, I'll see you in the morning Mom, night."

After what happened it has made me realize that I can trust David fully and that makes me love him even more.

I know he'll keep his vow.

He's a great boyfriend.

And I love him.

And he loves me, that makes me feel amazing.



Correspondence

As soon as I get upstairs I go to my room, pull off my date outfit and throw it into the hamper.

I change into my sky blue tank top and cotton pants.

Eagerly I take my turquoise-colored laptop off of my work desk and turn it on, then I sit on my bed and lean up against the headboard.

One of the other perks of my dad's new job, I for the first time in my life have a computer. I got a yahoo email address along with instant messaging.

I go and sign into my instant message account.

My yahoo account name is MelGirlSweetSixteen.

I am excited to see Rachel on there her handle is RacheEuroHottie.

I smile and type happily

MelGirlSweetSixteen: Hey Rache, have u been waiting up this whole time?

RacheEuroHottie: Guilty, so how did it go?

MelGirlSweetSixteen: Okay I guess.

RacheEurohottie: Oh pleasse Mel, it's me do you really think I believe that?, come on give me the dirt!

I sigh and roll my eyes patience has never been one of Rachel's strong qualities.

I answer

MelGirlSweetSixteen: Well we went 2 Baja Barrito. After he took me to the beach, he set up a entire spread.

There was a pink picnic basket on a pink and white checkered blanket the basket was full of neapolitan ice cream and a can of Redi Whip.

He had pink candles around the blanket and red tulips scattered over the blanket it was really cute.

RacheEuroHottie: Omigod Melinda that is SUPER Romantic, so... what else happened?

I hesitate not sure I can really confide this to her, I mean we have reconnected after the "andy" incident, so quickly I am still not one thousand percent certain I can trust her.

Rachel types again impatient

RacheEuroHottie: Come on Mel, it's okay you can tell me I mean we're best friends right?

I sigh and realize she's right we are best friends I'm just worrying for nothing sometimes my paranoia goes into overdrive, Caroline says that this will pass soon the more counseling I get.

I square my shoulders and type trustingly.

MelgirlSweetSixteen: Well we almost.. got together.

RacheEurohottie: Really? Whoa, what happened?

I sigh again and type only one name

MelGirlSweetSixteen: Andy

RacheEuroHottie: Oh, I c was he ok with it?

I smile again and type

MelGirlSweetSixteen: Yea, I kinda freaked out u know bout andy & he um.. was just really cool bout it it's weird I mean most guys would of dumped me, he just kissed me and said told me that he luved me.

RacheEuroHottie: Aww Mel I am super happy 4 u David is a real great guy u TOTALLY deserve someone like him!

I smile yet again that night and type

MelGirlSweetSixteeen: Yea, thanks for listening Rache I really needed it.

RacheEuroHottie: Sure thing Mel, so u wanna go 2 the mall 2morrow, with the rest of the gang?

I smile one more time and type my answer

MelGirlSweetSixteen: Yeah, that would b really cool, can u pick me up 11:30?

RachEuroHottie: Defiantly doable c u then Mel and once again your welcome, well I gotta run my mom is saying it's WAY 2 late 2 b up, C u in a.m. much luv Rachel

I giggle and type

MelGirlSweetSixteen: K, talk 2 u soon luv ya!

I sign off turn the laptop off and snuggle under my comforter.

It's nearly one in the morning and I am really tired.

I close my eyes and am extremely relieved that I have a great boyfriend, and that my girlfriends are back with me.

I still have a long way to go with dealing with being raped but I know that with David and the Plain Janes support I know I am on my way to truly healing.