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DEMENTED POEMS

Roses are crap
Violets are shit
Sit on my face
And wiggle a bit

Roses are stupid
Violets are silly
Grease up your flaps
Cuz here comes my willy

Roses are awful
Violets are the pits
Lift up your shirt
And show me your tits

Roses make me laugh
Violets make me titter
You're a dirty bitch
And you love it up the shitter

Roses are straight
Violets are twisted
Bend over love
You're about to get fisted

Roses are crap
Violets are wanky
Oooh I've just cum
Pass me a hanky

Roses are red
It's elementary
Let's ring your best friend
And try double entry

Roses are shit
Violets are crap
Show me your clit
And I'll cum in your lap

Roses are red
Skidmarks are brown
Give me a blow job
And swallow it down

Roses are groovy
Violets are funky
I'm thinking of you
And spanking my monkey
1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/ friends.. .
Stupid Question:-
Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:-
Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet…
Stupid Question:-
Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-
No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia.. …why don’t you try again.

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask…
Stupid Question:-
Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-
Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-
Is ! the “Butter Paneer Masala”...
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added by adultswimperson
Source: Google
I found this hilarious article on pcworld.com
Don't know who the author is, but he's funny.

1. Backward Thinking
"I sold my only car to help pay for gas money, but now gas has come down in price. How do I get my car back?"
I tried to contact this guy, but it turns out that he also sold his computer to help pay for his Internet connection.

2. It's Caps Lock--Capisce?
"HOW DO I TURN OFF CAPSLOCK? I ACCIDENTALLY TURNED IT ON YESTERDAY AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO TURN IT BACK OFF."
Note to self: Register howtoturnoffcapslock.com; make millions.

3. Credit Crunch
"I wanted to see if my computer would read my...
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posted by Sheetal1256
Here are some funny New Year's resolutions for 2012...
I will think of a password other than "password" or "hello".

I will not tell the same story at every get together.

I won't worry so much.

I will cut my hair.

I will grow my hair.

I will stop considering other people's feelings when they so obviously don't consider mine - if that unwashed fellow sits next to me again, I'll tell him he stinks!

I will be more imaginative.

I will not bore my boss by with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some more excuses.

I will do less laundry and use more deodorant.

I will avoid taking a bath whenever...
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Give my regards to broadway. o-O

*Insert epic theme song here*

Alright, I'm pretty sure we all know who Spongebob is. The show was a funny, crazy, and inventive kids show that pretty much EVERYBODY ALIVE has at least heard of.

The show had memorable characters, funny comedy that everyone can enjoy, and.......

CHOCOLAAAAAAAAAATEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! ^____^

But one of my favorite parts of the show was the songs, and today we're counting down the best of them!

BECAUSE NOBODY CAN SING BETTER THAN A TALKING SPONGE. ;D

#10. Striped Sweater!

link

Shots fired.

Seriously, this is EASILY the stupidest song on this...
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added by Juilet1234
posted by Usui--takumi
Why was Tigger looking in the bowl??
He was trying to find pooh.
There were three men on an airplane, one of them decides to bring a baby.There is a crash and only three parachutes so they leave the baby behind. When they get to the bottom they hear screaming. They find the baby on the ground. The dad of the baby says, '' How did you get down here? ''. The baby replies, '' Me not dumb, me not silly, me hold on to daddy's willy!''
What's black and white, black and white, black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
Yo momma so fat, when she jumps her own boobs slap her.
Yo momma so dumb AND fat,...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
a boy was asked by his teacher to pick some spelling words for his homework. the boy goes home and asks his mum "what's a good spelling word?" and the mother replies " Shutup, i'm busy", so he writes it down.
he goes to his dad and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and the dad replies "da na na na Batman!" so he writes it down.
next he goes to his older sister and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and she replies "yeah yeah" so the boy writes it down.
he goes to his younger sister and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and she replies "lollipop, lollipop" so he writes it down.
Finally he goes...
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posted by invadercalliope
•Everyone in this place is unhappy. And since they're unhappy, they're probably looking for someone worse off than they are.
•You know who isn't human? You know who isn't human?! PEOPLE LIKE YOU!
•Up to this day, I've never killed a single human.
•You will never see me again.
•I was going to let you go; after all, there aren't many of us out there, but you're just such a pain in the ass.
•Please forget about everything.
•Are you enjoying this?
Kouta: "I thought we were friends."

Lucy: "We are friends, that's why you're still alive."

Kouta: "You killed my father, Kanae.. and my sister Kanae... For that I will never forgive you."
Lucy: "All this time, I've lived in hope of telling you how sorry I am, I've fought armies, just to have this chance, but now, there's nothing I can say that's good enough."

Kurama: "Regret is the domain of those who have earned the right to look back on the past. All I have is shame."
The End
Okay so if you live on the eastcoast u are probably getting used to the snow..........so even if u aren't, everybody has the problem of having nothing to do when it snows but sled. So these are a few of the things that i enjoy to do.........hehe!

1. Fill balloons with water. Then leave them outside overnight.............yeah i'm this stupid. The next day, cut the balloons off and you got.........AN ICE BALL!! (i usually make like 15) Then use them to pay dodgeball. This is especially fun to do in deep snow, when you can barely move as it is. Technically, u could use them to do various things,...
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… So YIIK is a game



Okay, so a lot of you, or hell, all of you are probably asking, “Nik, what the fuck are you doing this time?” All two of you that read these will know that I have talked about this game almost a year ago on the short lived In-Indie subseries I do, where I mildly praised the game despite how it is. This was around when the game was relatively new and didn’t have much attention aside from the mixed reviews that it had gotten. That is, until a few months later when so much came out about this game. It wasn’t long before YIIK: A Postmodern RPG became pretty much...
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Shin Megami Tensei III: Nocturne, known in other regions as Shin Megami Tensei: Lucifer’s Call, is the “third” game in the SMT franchise. And I say third with quotes because any SMT fans will tell you that’s bullshit. The third in the mainline franchise, yes, but SMT has had several spin offs and franchises all from the Shin Megami Tensei titles alone. Hell, one of them that you may know, and the reason why you are reading this article right now to yell at me over, is the Persona franchise. Persona is part of the same series, but vastly different. Persona is a game that is about the...
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added by zanhar1
added by TheLefteris24
posted by scarletunicorn
So, this started out as a small little thing between AudreyFreak and me, but I'd thought it'd be good for us to comment on characters we don't like and don't care for, and maybe it'd be good to explain, even those characters that are glorified by the fandom but have overall massive problems in general.

So, let's go!

Margery Tyrell (Game of Thrones).

AF- Unlike her less developed but actually likable book counterpart, TV Margaery (or “Marge Boleyn”, as some say, which I love) has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. She’s essentially a glorified prom queen who just lives to cattily pick on...
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Let's fuckin do this
Let's fuckin do this
Well, the first episode has a whopping SEVENTEEN fans now, which is my most popular article to date, so I guess a lot of you wanted a sequel. Hope you guys enjoy, sorry it took so long to happen. XD

"How to compliment a guy."

It's not that hard, just say something nice. Do you REALLY need advice from the internet on something so INSANELY simple such as this?

"Fries insulted me!"

You insult humanity, it's a pretty fair trade to me.

"Paul's Empire."

DANCE my minions, DANCE! >:D

"What does astroglide smell like?"

Fresh flowers, unless the lubricant has been used after masturbating, in which case a...
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added by 3xZ