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posted by ShadowProve13
Tell the undertaker that he can't close the coffin until you find your contact lens.

Punch the body and tell people that he hit you first.

Tell the widow that you're the deceased's gay lover.

Ask someone to take a snapshot of you shaking hands with the deceased.

At the cemetery, play taps on a kazoo.

Walk around tellin people that you've seen the will and they're not in it.

Ask the widow to give you a kiss.

Drive behind the widow's limo and keep honking your horn.

Tell the undertaker that your dog just died and ask if he can sneak him into the coffin.

Put a hard-boiled egg in the mouth of the...
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posted by The_Random_Guy
The three little pigs (edited version)

Once appon a time, There were three pigs named Dakota, Kelsey and Jessica. They had a problem... A wolf named Gibby was trying to kill them!
"Kelsey, Do you want to come with me to go find Jessica?" Dakota asks.
"Sure." Replies Kelsey.
They walk outside and look in the forest only to see Jessica setting up traps for the wolf.
"Jessica, What the f*ck are you doing?" Asks Kelsey.
"What does it look like I'm doing...I'm putting up traps to see if I can catch Gibby." She says as she looks at Kelsey with an annoyed expression.
"Calm yourself..Damn!" Says Dakota as...
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I got really bored last night and decided to look these up. So...yeah. Some small roles are included.


Italy and Kid

Narrator and Liz

Greece and Spirit

Chibitalia and Yumi

America and Justin

England and Harvar

France and Giriko

Russia and the clowns

HRE and Jack the Ripper
Austria and Dr.Stein

Hungary and Medusa

Liechtenstein and Patty

Belarus and Tsubaki

Lithuania and Ox

Sweden and Mifune

Sealand and Crona

Rome and Eibon

......Yep. I'm most likely missing some, though.
posted by mehere
top 24 eminem song (random order)




who knew

rock bottom

words are weapons

lighters

criminal

kill you

never 2 far

like toy solidiers

white america

cleanin' out my closet

my name is

till i collapse

when im gone

sing for the moment

the real slim shady

just dont give a fuck

lose yourself

the way i am

mockingbird

infinite

stan

not afraid

without me

just lose it

i hope you like this one better than the first one please leave a comment if u like od dont like it i want to hear your thoughts :P
100: CHEEECCKPOOOINT
99: Purple Monkey Dishwasher
98: Apple pie... or Pumkin?
97: Sit on your pockets! (Well known teacher saying)
96: mom mom mom mom mommy mommy mommmy mommmy mommy luis luis luis luis mama mama mama mama WHAT? hi.
95: Lawl
94: Baby turtles
93: 9000!!!!
92: Da da di da did did do do di da did di do!
91: MY POKEMON BRING ALL THE NERDS TO THE YARD AND THERE LIKE YA WANNA TRADE CARDS? DAM RIGHT! I WANNA TRADE CARDS I WILL TARDE YOU, BUT NOT MY CHARIZARD!
90: Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeck POINT!
89: 88, 87, 86, 85...
84: Online daters are desprete.... they rely on the internt!
83: mama I pooped
82: c'mon!...
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1.You abuse our love you lose it.
2.When we find the right guy we love him and NEVER want to lose him.
3.Our love is a privlige NOT a right.
4.Our hearts are delicate items, so when we do give them to the guy we love be careful with it.
5.Drinking will NOT impress us in any way shape or form.
6.Guys you should respect our feelings.
7.In our relationship with you (the guy) We have dominance to.
8.We're as good at listening as we are at talking.
9.When it comes to the guy we truly love we will devote A LOT of our time to only you.
10.When you (the guy we love) break our hearts, you've pretty much killed us until we heal.
posted by nymph_tonks
Stranger: hi


You: hi asl


Stranger: 20 m


Stranger: u?


You: 15 female


Stranger: nice to meet you!


You: GO GO POWER RANGERS!


Stranger: yeah!


Stranger: what are you up to?


You: ther was this lady earlier who told me i shouldnt be on the internet at 15.


Stranger: lol


Stranger: and where should u be?


You: probably outside ithout any junk food or soda


Stranger: fair enough


You: i would survive.


Stranger: do u like talking to strangers?


You: online, through text.


Stranger: where r u from?


Stranger: I am from UK btw


You: im from the us.


Stranger: nice


You: im bored


Stranger: oh...and I am italian


Stranger: we could do something...
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posted by cloudstrifefan
Everything you can do with both a ruler and a compass,you can do with a compass alone.

The number symbol,#,is also known as an "octothorpe".

Cats sleep twice as much as people-up to 18 hours per day.

An ancient Greek vase from around 500 BC shows a boy playing with a yo-yo.

There are twice as many kangaroos in Australia (approx. 40 million)as there are people.

"Almost" is the longest common word in the English language with all the letters in alphabetical order.

Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete.

In Alaska's Matanuska Vally,the long hours of sunlight have been used to grow giant vegetables...
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posted by kingcesar67
Hellfire Lyrics
A new musical based on the Victor Hugo novel and songs from the Disney film
The Hunchback of Notre Dame the Musical - Hellfire Lyrics

ARCHDEACON & PRIESTS
Confiteor Deo Omnipotenti (I confess to God almighty)
Beatae Mariae semper Virgini (To blessed Mary ever Virgin)
Beato Michaeli archangelo (To the blessed archangel Michael)
Sanctis apostolis omnibus sanctis (To the holy apostles, to all the saints)

FROLLO
Beata Maria
You know I am a righteous man
Of my virtue I am justly proud
PRIESTS
(Et tibi Pater (And to you, Father))
FROLLO
Beata Maria
You know I'm so much purer than
The common, vulgar,...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Theme Song

Kevin: *Plays piano*
David: *Playing bass*
Liam: *Playing drums*
Liz: *Plays guitar*
Mr. Nut: *Sings* Welcome everybody to The Nut House. Thankfully this is not in Laos. Come on everybody into The Nut House. You can wear anything except for a blouse. Come on everybody, step into The Nut House.
Everyone: The Nut House!

Episode 10: Mack

Parker: *Angry as he sits down, waiting for his food to arrive*
Kevin: Get ready.
Liam: His fist will hit the table, in 3. 2. 1.
Parker: *Hits the table with his fist*
Kevin: Now he's gonna go to the kitchen and knock on the door.
Parker: *Walks to the kitchen,...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Theme Song

Kevin: *Plays piano*
David: *Playing bass*
Liam: *Playing drums*
Liz: *Plays guitar*
Mr. Nut: *Sings* Welcome everybody to The Nut House. Thankfully this is not in Laos. Come on everybody into The Nut House. You can wear anything except for a blouse. Come on everybody, step into The Nut House.
Everyone: The Nut House!

Episode 8: Going Too Far

Song: link

Yellow Triangle: *Eating a hot dog when he hears the music*
Pencil: Where is that coming from?!
Parker: *Walks into The Nut House wearing a marching uniform, marching with a stick in his hand*
David & Liz: *Watching Parker*
David: What...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Song: link

Narrator: Sugar. Spice, and everything nice. These were the ingredients chosen to create the perfect little girls, but Professor Utonium accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction. Chemical X!
Professor: *Gets moved backwards by an explosion, but smiles when he sees what he created*
Narrator: Thus the Powerpuff Girls were born! Using their ultra super powers, Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup have dedicated their lives to fighting crime, and the forces of evil.
Blossom: *Flies through the sky*
Bubbles: *Flying to the right of Blossom*
Buttercup: *Flying to the left of...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog

Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!

Naboo, one year before the events of A New Hope.

In one section of the planet, it was littered with destroyed vehicles, ranging from tanks, speeder bikes, and even a few AT-ST's. Not far away, was a damaged Tie Fighter, next to an old Arc-170. The radio was still on in the 170.

Announcer: This is the Coruscant Broadcasting Service. Here is the news. In an isolated part of the planet, a group of Generals said, with Naboo falling into the hands of the Imperials, The Battle of Coruscant, is about to...
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#1: BLAND PROTAGONISTS:
It mostly seems to be female protagonists.
They just don't care for anything, they look like they don't even want to be in this film..


#2; MAIN CHARACTERS ARE ASSHOLES:
And these are the GOOD guys.


#3: JUMP SCARES:
Just stop.. Maybe you can try having actual SCARY stuff.
Weird images, dark shadows, that type of stuff..


#4: VILLAIN WON'T SHUT THE HELL UP:
You have him at gun point, and he's tied to a chair.. Fucking shoot him already!


#5: TRAGIC VILLAIN:
I don't mind this one, it often works.
But still, can't he just be evil, for the sake of being evil.
Like Michael Myer's in the original film?


#6: POINTLESS REMAKES:
Stop.. Just stop.
added by AnxiousSoul
Source: scotch-egg.JPG
posted by TheMagicLoki
Behold, the second installment of the Turtle Sandwich series! This time, it's Surrogates! It's a little shorter than what I want to be the norm, but it's here, which is better than I did last week. But that's aside from the point. Remember to leave suggestions in the comments! Hope you enjoy! :)
posted by darange
what is life?
what is the eternal oblivion that we all are born, live, and die through?
where do we go in the end?
what will your accomplishments, friends, family, relationships, and more amount to in the end game? why do we do the things that hurt us the most? weather it be our future, our relationships, or even our body ourselves.
What's going to happen if our sun dies right now, or if its the end of the world? what would we do? what would you do? would you say goodbye to your loved ones? rob a bank? sit there all alone?
Is their even a Heaven and Hell? or are we all forgotten in the sea of never ending people. no one cares. we all forget over time

what would you do in the end of the world? opinions?
posted by PeacefulCritic
Major Spoilers Alert
Happy Halloweenish everyone!Today I’m going to review a very nostalgia Halloween classic for me. That’s very unique to say the least, Caroline or Coraline whichever one you prefer to call it. So let’s get to it, starting with the story.

Story:
The story stars a certain blue haired girl named Coraline who isn't amused of her new life in Oregon.Then suddenly she comes across a mysterious, small door that opens to a whole new world. This other world is very much to fit what Coraline wishes her life to be like, but she is unaware of the dark secrets within the new world.There’s...
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posted by slenderman777
I heard about a place out here were i live,its on one of the back roads of the alaskan forests in one of these valleys,they say that if you drive down this road on a day were the sun is shining so brightly,as to make everything appear black and white,then you might come across a girl,walking along the side of the road.she is said to be easy to recognize cause if its summer or winter, shes always wearing a heavy wool overcoat with over sized headphones like those big skullcandy headphones you can find in the stores. according to the story,if you drive up along side her and roll down the window...
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