Smoke Tires, not drugs

1.Pull aside an unruly child in a preschool Sunday School class and say: "If you're bad in here, you'll go to Hell."

2.A week beforehand, find a member of ACT-UP. Tell him the scheduled sermon is entitled "Why God Sent AIDS to Punish Homosexuals".

3.Put stray dogs in coat closets.

4.Un-tune the piano.

5.Replace the pianist's sheet music with "Stairway to Heaven".

6.Going through all the hymnals, mark song 666.

7.Find an empty seat, and ask the person next to it: "Is this seat SAVED?"

8.Toss around a giant beach ball before service, like at Grateful Dead concerts.

9.Ten minutes before it starts, find...