Random

I recieved and email with a list of Random jokes I thought I'd share it with you guys :)


Lawyer Joke
10 Husbands, Still a Virgin
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get...

Colonel Sanders
There's no reason to be the richest man in the cemetery. You can't do any business from there.

Roseanne Barr
Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

W.C. Fields
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

Milton Berle
They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer.

George Gobal
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

Groucho Marx
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the...

Guy's point of view

(Here's the take on relationships from a guy's POV. NOT MINE)
From a guys point of view:

We don't care if you talk to other guys.

We don't care if you're friends with other guys.

But when you're sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room
 and you jump up and tackle him without even introducing us, yeah.

It doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without
even acknowledging the fact that we're still there.

We don't care if a guy calls you, but at 2 in the morning we do get a
 little concerned.

Nothing is that important at 2 a.m. that it...

So there has been a lot of new horror movies coming out and a lot of people doing dumb stuff in that movie.

So I'm gonna help you survive. you're welcome.

1. Don't take a trip to a secluded area.
-You could go to Vegas, New York, Paris so why the hell go into a damn desert.

2.Don't invite your boyfriend and the local village slut on the same trip. And don't get mad when they have sex.
-You knew she was a slut so don't get mad when it goes down

3.Don't run out of your hiding spot if the killer can't see you.
-He can't see you! He doesn't know where you are! Stay there and shut the hell up.

4.Don't...

it's totally RANDOM...
**shale we start :P

1. Where were you 3 hours ago?
2. Who are you in love with?
3. Have you ever eaten a crayon?
4. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
5. When is the last time you went to the mall?
6. Are you wearing socks right now?
7. Do you have a car worth over $2,000?
8. When was the last time you drove out of town?
9. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days?
10. Are you hot?
11. What was the last thing you had to drink?
12. What are you wearing right now?
13. Do you wash your car or let the car wash do it?
14. Last food that you ate?
15. Where were you last week...