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7

6 Ways On How To Deal With Shark Attacks:

posted by Liepe

I got this off an e-mail from a friend, so this is not mine and I take no claim in it. Please don't do these things in real life, it's just for fun and a good laugh. And if you do do these things (number 4 fo example), than I'm sorry but you're really dumb.

Enjoy!
__________________________________________________

6 Ways On How To Deal With Shark Attacks:

1) DON'T SWIM IN THE SEA
More than 99% of shark attacks happen in large watermasses- also know as oceans. An easy way to tell if you are in an ocean is to taste the water- it will taste like salt.

2) SWIM ALONGSIDE FAT PEOPLE
Make sure that there...

5

Hell Explained by a Chemistry Student

posted by 214

THIS IS NOT MINE. I got it from Tumblr. x)

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington Chemistry mid-term:

The answer by one student was so ‘profound’ that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First,...

1

DORA THE EXPLORER THEME SONG LYRICS!

posted by invadercalliope

I HOPE YOU ENJOY!
dora!
boots!
come on dora!

do-do-do-do-dora!
do-do-do-do-dora!
do-do-do-do-dora!
do-do-do-do-dora!
lets go!
dora dora dora the explorer!
DORA!
boots and supercool exploradora!

we need your help!

grab your backpack!
lets go!
jump in!
vamonos!

you can lead the way!

hey! hey!

do-do-dora!
do-d-dora!

swiper no swiping!
swiper no swiping! (oh man)

it;s dora the explorer!
--------------------------------------------------
dora dora
ven, ven
dora dora la exploradora
dale con el sol pequeña dora
vamos salta tu puedes niña
consulta a tu mapa
tutu dora tutu dora tutu dora
lets go
The End!

2

Chuck Norris Jokes

posted by cutiegirl01

01 Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
02 Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
03 Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
04 If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
05 Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony,...

4

top 25 ways to drive your roommate crazy!!!!!!!!

posted by karpach_14

Top 25 Ways To Drive Your Roommate Crazy

1. Every time you wake up, start yelling, “Oh, my God! Where the
hell am I?!” and run around the room for a few minutes. Then go
back to bed. If yourroommate asks, say you don’t know what
he/she is talking about.

2. Buy a plant. Sleep with it at night. Talk to it. After a few weeks,
start to argue with it loudly. Then yell, “I can’t live in the same
room with you,” storm out of the room and slam the door. Get rid
of the plant, but keep the pot. Refuse to discuss the plant ever
again.

3. Buy a Jack-in-the-box. Every day, turn the handle until the
clown...

18

79 things to do in an Elevator

posted by catgirl140

79 Things to do in an Elevator (Soooo funny)

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I...

2

A Story Which I Used a Fanfiction Generator to Create

posted by animemaykat101

I'm Dreaming Of A Fat Christmas

It was Christmas Eve. Selena sat yet on her head, sipping slow eggnog.

She looked at the cute boat hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, alex had hung it there, just before they looked at each other conversely and then fell into each other's arms and stood each other's hand.

If only I hadn't been so pretty, Selena thought, pouring a funny amount of rum into her eggnog. Then alex might not have got so stupid and left me all alone at Christmas time. She wiped away a fast tear and held her head in her hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and...

29

100 Ways to Order a Pizza

posted by Shelly_McShelly

1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.

2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.

3. Use CB lingo where applicable.

4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

7. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.

8. Answer their questions with questions.

9. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and...

52

Ways to Torture the Pizza Guy

posted by BellaCullen96

Act like you know the order taker from somewhere. Say, "BedWetter’s Camp, right?"
Add extra letters to words, ex: pizza becomes pizzzzzzzaaaaaaa
After ordering, say, "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." Simulate a cutoff.
Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.
Answer their questions with questions.
Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.
Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g., If phoning Domino's, ask for a Cheeser! Cheeser!)
Ask for chips/fries with everything!
Ask for extra homo-sapien
Ask for the guy who took your order last time.
Ask how many...

2

Guns N' Roses - November Rain Slash Solo

added by Dream-On

sexy as fuck. *drools*

video

random

music

Pokemon - Pokerap

added by someone_save_me

video

10

Bahaha.

added by someone_save_me

5

LOL!xD

added by 050801090907

4

62 Magical Facts about Harry Potter

posted by E-Scope90

As of 2008, Harry Potter books have sold over 400 million copies and have been translated into 67 languages.i
A picture of Gandalf the Grey (from The Lord of the Rings) can be seen in the collection of great wizards in Professor Dumbledore’s study in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.f
Author J. K. Rowling recently revealed that Dumbledore is gay and he had a crush on the wizard Grindelwald, whom he later defeated in a wizard duel.a
As every Potter fan knows, Dementors are deadly, magical, wraith-like creatures. Rowling revealed that they represent depression and that they were based on...

2

Robert gotta get away

posted by Heidihi2

American Twi-hards — bad news…don’t get TOO used to Robert Pattinson frolicking all over the States!
It sounds like the heartbroken Cosmopolis star won’t be hanging around here for too much longer!
R-Patz is getting ready to shoot his next film, The Rover, an indie flick to be filmed in Australia and it seems like it’ll serve as a MUCH needed escape!
A source revealed:
“Rob wants to get away for a while, and is looking forward to filming in the desert in Australia. He needs some space.”
We’d say the land down under is pretty much as far enough away from Kristen Stewart as he can get, LOLz!
Sounds like Rob will continue to keep busy — and hopefully, keep his mind off his broken relationship — when he films Queen Of The Desert this fall and Mission: Blacklist next year!
KStew on the other hand…well, let’s just say things haven’t been shaping up too well!

3

nyan cat lyrics

posted by amy36y

nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan

2

darker then dark

posted by hetaliaitaly

darker then light brighter then bright
nothing stands
but never lands
nothing i do ever makes me feel
nothing anyone does will make me real
im not really there and i dont care so why do i feel as lonely as air
something there but no one cares

just one thing that no one thinks is there
just something thats as quiet as death
im not there i never was not until
im ever loved
but i dont no one cares so why am i ever even there i am not real i am not there im just as dry as a volcano flair.

(well heres another poem
and its about death so yep there we go)

1

Really Smart Students!(joke)Plus what I did today at school!(Please Read)

posted by adaug

Teacher:Okay Suzi go to the map and find North America.
Suzi:Right here!
Teacher:Good job!Now Bobby,who discovered America?
Bobby:Suzi Did!
god I cracked up today!
------------------------------------------------
Speaking of today!My class gotta go to our 'BOOK BUDDIES' Class room and help make gingerbread houses!My book buddy's name was Addy,(mine is Abby!)Anyways!It was like...SPRINKLE CITY!!If you were an ant,You would drown in sprinkles!!!!!!!!!GOD
My friend ,Sam,Was next to me...and she had like 50 spaz attacks!She was super hyped up!!!!Wow!They really shouldn't Put candy in front of her!And I just can't stand the sprinkles!!!!God!I almost devoured the icing!There was like M&Ms,Gummy Drops,
Candy Canes,Nerds(one girl was like' Oh my god i love these!),a lot more too!Plus my friend Sam made a story called 'The Black Dragons' Kinda like The girl with the dragon tattoo!Listening to Taylor Swift's"Permanent marker"!Love it!

BYE GUTS AND GURLS!

1

HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT >.<

posted by amy_the_demon

BY: me!!!!

coca: i want coca!!!
me: you want yourself O.o

barney: lets sing a lame ass song!!!!

c+m: *screams like girls* NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Barney: *jumps off bridge*

--------------

*micowave dings*

me: le gasp!!!! my burrito is done!!!!
*finds elmo eating my burrito*

me: HEY THAT'S MY BURRITO!!!!!!!!!!

coca: *bits elmo's arm*
I WILL BITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*barney walks in*

me: WTF!?!?!? YOUR SUPPOST TO BE DEAD!!!!!!!!!
barney: nom nom nom nom.........

coca: *throws elmo out the window*
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

*elmo lands on barney with a splat*

elmo: WHAT THE FUCK MAN!!!!!!!

coca: i though you were a KID'S show!
me: this is getting rediculous!!!!

elmo: kids suck.....
*me and coca gasp's*

barney: i hate my dino life......

me: we all do purple shit, we all do..

---------

FIN

2

Chema meets Slenderman

posted by samuraibond005

I never really had a life as a kid, I was brought up to lead and to fight, I was never allowed to play with little toy trains or dolls. I learned to shoot with a large combat rifle rather than a bb gun, I learned swordsmanship with a live blade, not a wooden one, or even a stick when I was really young.
As a result of my lack of childhood and my desire to get it back, I met a young boy by the name of Jitsa, he was 8, he loved going out in the woods and hunting with his bb gun, he loved going home afterwards and playing with his little electric trains. I would play with him, though I brought...