ash hits pikachu

1. Ask him why did he marry a woman like your mom

2. Tell him you met a guy in school

3. Sing a song he hates

4(reply to number 3) When he plays a song he likes, ask: "What awful music. How do you listen to that crap?"

5. When he is driving you(anywhere), constantly ask "where are we going?"

6. Call him by his name[Not so risky, always done it as a kid!]

7. When he lectures you, after he finishes it, ask him: "Ever heard of breath mint?"

8. Tell him that Justin Bieber is your favorite guy[If you hate Bieber, go with Cody Simpson or some who you like ALLOT!]

9. Come home saying you found your true...

There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives

Every time Chuck Norris looks into a mirror it breaks. Even glass is not stupid enough to get between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.

Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

Brett Farve can throw a football 50 yds. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Farve even farther.

Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris...

A single drop of sweat from Chuck Norris was found to quench the thirst of an entire african village for 23 straight days. Subsequently, an olympic athlete from that village was disqualified from his event for testing positive for performance enhancing drugs.

Chuck Norris can read lady Gaga's poker face.

Chuck Norris says the alphabet faster backwards then you can say it fowards.

When Chuck Norris goes to sleep, he doesn't dream he lives it.

In an alternate universe, Chuck Norris is just a myth. However, he pwns people there anyways.

When Chuck Norris drinks beer, the beer gets drunk.

Ninjas want...

I found this on the internet.

1.    Smile
2.    Laugh
3.    Run your fingers through your hair
4.    Touch them gently on the arm/shoulder
5.    Give them a hug
6.    Tease them
7.    Complement their clothes
8.    Say, "It seems like forever since I last saw you"
9.    Whisper
10.    Offer them a blanket or coat if it's cold
11.    Offer to buy them a drink
12.    Lean...

In a pub quiz the other day I lost by one point. The question was, "where do women mostly have curly hair?" Apparently, it's Africa.


One of the other questions was to name two things commonly found in cells.
It appears that Nigerians and Jamaicans is not the correct answer.


I've heard that Apple has scrapped their plans for the new children's iPod, after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.


There's a new Muslim clothing shop that opened in Toronto but I've been banned from it, after asking to look at some bomber jackets.


You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles,...

Ghetto Names

Mostly popular with the poorer sections of the communities in the United States, ghetto names are becoming more common.
These are some ghetto names sent to us by our readers:

Aalissah , Aarionda , AbbyYoYo , Abcd , Abrianna , Adaizala , Aereana , Ajavalon , Akeebu , Akwante , Alamarion , Alashawndre , Alashema , Alezeisha , Aliciandra , Alveonta , Amabufu , Amanisha , Ambrisha , Amereazanisha , Amiracle , Amonteosha , Ananchalant , Anfernee , Angenique , Annestonisha , Antonyishia , Antwanae , Antwanique , Antwonisha , Anukware , Aquamaquisha , Aquanasia , Aquanetta , Aquaniqua ,...

Found this on Google. Hope it makes ya laugh.

1. Set all the alarm clocks to go off in 10-minute intervals

2. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, “Code 3 in housewares,…”and see what happens.

3. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M’s on lay away.

4. Find one of the workers who is making a pyramid or a display of something and as soon as they are finished with it, ask for the thing that’s on the bottom and have a panic attack until they give it to you.

5. Get on the loud speaker and declare a “Going Out of Business Sale, All Items 99% Off”

6....

Think
1.    1
Realization. Even though it may seem impossible, the truth is, nothing is impossible. If you keep thinking it's impossible, then it will be. Have faith
2
Analyze the situation. Create a list of "pros" and "cons" to help you better understand why you're seeking love or acceptance from this person.
2.    3
Don't worry about things you can't help. Acknowledge the impossibility as something that is totally out of your hands (ex: marriage, age, sexuality, hang-ups) and know that if something is meant to be, it will be.
3.    4
Don't...

[Family Guy] S01E05 - A Hero Sits Next Door #178
Lois: Meg, you're a sweet, beautiful girl, he'll come around.
Meg: That's such a mom answer.
Lois: Well, have you tried showing him the goods? How's that for a mom answer?
Meg: Creepy.
Contributed by funnytvquotes.com



[Family Guy] S03E07 - Lethal Weapons #183
Peter: Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you - very homosexually.
Contributed by funnytvquotes.com



[Family Guy] S03E10 - Fish Out Of Water #181
Auctioner: We'll open this auction with this pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute.
Quagemire: Fifty...

Hi my name is Amanda and this is how to service 7th grade. On the first day of 7th grade I was so excited to see my friends after summer yay. Well the first day of 7th grade really sucked but at least I got to see my friends. Yes it’s time to leave school. But I did not see one of my friends Hannah that sucks because she went to Luray middle. Well I’m home and I just talked to Hannah on the phone. She said “I might come back to page next semester”. “Sweet school is so different without one of my best friends” I said. “If I don’t come back don’t be mad at me”. “I won’t...